Good Sister (9781250047786)
Page 23
“The reason I got so mad about Tristan is because of this.”
I don’t need him to explain that “this” is the feelings that have been growing inside of us, like a baby in the months before the mother’s belly is big. Still small and secret, but no less real.
“I know,” I whisper, and it’s true that some part of me did know before the thoughts had even formed.
“I guess I didn’t want to admit how I was feeling and risk us not being friends anymore.”
“Yeah.”
I blink away the tears that are no longer threatening to form a downpour. I could explain them away as being because of the wind, but I don’t need to.
“I was stupid. I mean, I don’t know what I was thinking doing anything with Tristan—”
“Never mind about him. It’s over, and I’ll kick his ass if he ever tries to touch you again.”
I smile, knowing he’s not joking but also aware that it won’t be necessary. Tristan has returned to his old self, unaware of my existence, as it should be. He is his own universe, and I don’t want or need to be a part of it anymore.
“Are you still afraid of what will happen if we are a couple and then it doesn’t work out?”
He shrugs. “Not anymore. We can just go back to being friends, right? It’s not impossible.”
“But what if we hate each other?”
“We’ve gotten past me hating you before.”
I smile, remembering with a pang how awful it felt to have him angry at me. There will be more moments like that if we become more than friends.
But then, there is no if. It’s happened, whether we meant for it to or not, and now there’s only the chance to try to see what happens next.
I take his left hand and hold it between my hands, warming it and noticing the way his long, slender fingers brush against my wrist again.
“You’re the first person I’ve ever said that love thing to, you know.”
“The first guy you’ve ever loved? Or just the first one you’ve told?”
“The first guy I’ve ever loved, of course.”
“I know. I just wanted to hear you say it.”
He leans in close again, so I can feel his breath on my cheek. “The feeling is mutual.”
For the first time since Sarah died, I know she is with me. Not in that cliché watching-over-me-on-a-cloud kind of with me, but with me in this feeling that washes over me. She is everything I have ever known about love, and she’s taught me how to know this feeling now.
Picking up the tiny crab shell, I cradle it in my hand for a moment, then crawl out of the tepee. When I reach the water’s edge, I say good-bye, and I toss it into the fathomless, blue ocean.
About the Author
JAMIE KAIN grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, but has had a nomadic adulthood. After many moves, she is now happily and permanently settled in Northern California with her husband and three children. Wherever she goes, her devoted writing and jogging partner, a pit bull mix named Reno, can nearly always be found at her side. The Good Sister is Jamie’s debut young adult novel. Please visit her Web site at www.jamiekain.com.
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
THE GOOD SISTER. Copyright © 2014 by Jamie Kain. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.
www.stmartins.com
Cover design by Kerri Resnick
Cover photographs: girls © Elizabeth Ansley/Arcangel Images; stars © Shutterstock.com
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The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-1-250-04773-1 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-250-04778-6 (e-book)
e-ISBN 9781250047786
First Edition: October 2014