Draculas

by J. A. Konrath

  As the sun cascaded through the hazy sky, beams of light drained like spilled paint across the western horizon. Looking at the lacquered lake suffused with deep orange, garnet, and magenta, I stood by the shore for several moments, watching two sunsets collide.

  Against my better judgment, I followed the shoreline south and was soon tramping through a noisy bed of leaves. I'd gone an eighth of a mile when I stopped. At my feet, amid a coppice of pink flowering mountain laurel, I saw a miniature red flag attached to a strip of rusted metal thrust into the ground. The flag fluttered in a breeze that curled off the water. This has to be a joke, I thought, and if so, it's a damn good one.

  As I brushed away the dead leaves that surrounded the marker, my heart began to pound. The dirt beneath the flag was packed, not crumbly like undisturbed soil. I even saw half a footprint when I'd swept all the leaves away.

  I ran back to the house and returned with a shovel. Because the soil had previously been unearthed, I dug easily through the first foot and a half, directly below where the marker had been placed. At two feet, the head of the shovel stabbed into something soft. My heart stopped. Throwing the shovel aside, I dropped to my hands and knees and clawed through the dirt. A rotten stench enveloped me, and as the hole deepened, the smell grew more pungent.

  My fingers touched flesh. I drew my hand back in horror and scrambled away from the hole. Rising to my feet, I stared down at a coffee brown ankle, barely showing through the dirt. The odor of rot overwhelmed me, so I breathed only through my mouth as I took up the shovel again.

  When the corpse was completely exposed, and I saw what a month of putrefaction could do to a human face, I vomited into the leaves. I kept thinking that I should have the stomach for this because I write about it. Researching the grisly handiwork of serial killers, I'd studied countless mutilated cadavers. But I had never smelled a human being decomposing in the ground, or seen how insects teem in the moist cavities.

  I composed myself, held my hand over my mouth and nose, and peered again into the hole. The face was unrecognizable, but the body was undoubtedly that of a short black female, thick in the legs, plump through the torso. She wore a formerly white shirt, now marred with blood and dirt, the fabric rent over much of the chest, primarily in the vicinity of her heart. Jean shorts covered her legs down to the knees. I got back down on all fours, held my breath, and reached for one of her pockets. Her legs were mushy and turgid, and I had great difficulty forcing my hand into the tight jeans. Finding nothing in the first pocket, I stepped across the hole and tried the other. Sticking my hand inside it, I withdrew a slip of paper from a fortune cookie and fell back into the leaves, gasping for clean lungfuls of air. On one side, I saw the phone number; on the other: "you are the only flower of meditation in the wilderness."

  In five minutes, I'd reburied the body and the marker. I took a small chunk of granite from the shore and placed it on the thicketed grave site. Then I returned to the house. It was quarter to eight, and there was hardly any light left in the sky.

  Two hours later, sitting on the sofa in my living room, I dialed the number on the slip of paper. Every door to the house was locked, most of the lights turned on, and in my lap, a cold satin stainless .357 revolver.

  I had not called the police for a very good reason. The claim that it was my blood on the woman was probably a lie, but the paring knife had been missing from my kitchen for weeks. Also, with the Charlotte Police Department's search for Rita Jones dominating local news headlines, her body on my property, murdered with my knife, possibly with my fingerprints on it, would be more than sufficient evidence to indict me. I'd researched enough murder trials to know that.

  As the phone rang, I stared up at the vaulted ceiling of my living room, glanced at the black baby grand piano I'd never learned to play, the marble fireplace, the odd artwork that adorned the walls. A woman named Karen, whom I'd dated for nearly two years, had convinced me to buy half a dozen pieces of art from a recently deceased minimalist from New York, a man who signed his work "Loman." I hadn't initially taken to Loman, but Karen had promised me I'd eventually "get" him. Now, $27,000 and one fiancee lighter, I stared at the ten-by-twelve-foot abomination that hung above the mantel: shit brown on canvas, with a basketball-size yellow sphere in the upper right-hand corner. Aside from Brown No. 2, four similar marvels of artistic genius pockmarked other walls of my home, but these I could suffer. Mounted on the wall at the foot of the staircase, it was Playtime, the twelve-thousand-dollar glass-encased heap of stuffed animals, sewn together in an orgiastic conglomeration, which reddened my face even now. But I smiled, and the knot that had been absent since late winter shot a needle of pain through my gut. My Karen ulcer. You're still there. Still hurting me. At least it's you.

  The second ring.

  I peered up the staircase that ascended to the exposed second-floor hallway, and closing my eyes, I recalled the party I'd thrown just a week ago-guests laughing, talking politics and books, filling up my silence. I saw a man and a woman upstairs, elbows resting against the oak banister, overlooking the living room, the wet bar, and the kitchen. Holding their wineglasses, they waved down to me, smiling at their host.

  The third ring.

  My eyes fell on a photograph of my mother-a five-by-seven in a stained-glass frame, sitting atop the obsidian piano. She was the only family member with whom I maintained regular contact. Though I had relatives in the Pacific Northwest, Florida, and a handful in the Carolinas, I saw them rarely-at reunions, weddings, or funerals that my mother shamed me into attending with her. But with my father having passed away and a brother I hadn't seen in thirteen years, family meant little to me. My friends sustained me, and contrary to popular belief, I didn't have the true reclusive spirit imputed to me. I did need them.

  In the photograph, my mother is squatting down at my father's grave, pruning a tuft of carmine canna lilies in the shadow of the headstone. But you can only see her strong, kind face among the blossoms, intent on tidying up her husband's plot of earth under that magnolia he'd taught me to climb, the blur of its waxy green leaves behind her.

  The fourth ring.

  "Did you see the body?"

  It sounded as if the man were speaking through a towel. There was no emotion or hesitation in his staccato voice.

  "Yes."

  "I gutted her with your paring knife and hid the knife in your house. It has your fingerprints all over it." He cleared his throat. "Four months ago, you had blood work done by Dr. Xu. They misplaced a vial. You remember having to go back and give more?"

  "Yes."

  "I stole that vial. Some is on Rita Jones's white T-shirt. The rest is on the others."

  "What others?"

  "I make a phone call, and you spend the rest of your life in prison, possibly death row..."

  "I just want you-"

  "Shut your mouth. You'll receive a plane ticket in the mail. Take the flight. Pack clothes, toiletries, nothing else. You spent last summer in Aruba. Tell your friends you're going again."

  "How did you know that?"

  "I know many things, Andrew."

  "I have a book coming out," I pleaded. "I've got readings scheduled. My agent-"

  "Lie to her."

  "She won't understand me just leaving like this."

  "Fuck Cynthia Mathis. You lie to her for your safety, because if I even suspect you've brought someone along or that someone knows, you'll go to jail or you'll die. One or the other, guaranteed. And I hope you aren't stupid enough to trace this number. I promise you it's stolen."

  "How do I know I won't be hurt?"

  "You don't. But if I get off the phone with you and I'm not convinced you'll be on that flight, I'll call the police tonight. Or I may visit you while you're sleeping. You've got to put that Smith and Wesson away sometime."

  I stood up and spun around, the gun clenched in my sweaty hands. The house was silent, though chimes on the deck were clanging in a zephyr. I looked through the large living room windows at the blac
k lake, its wind-rippled surface reflecting the pier lights. The blue light at the end of Walter's pier shone out across the water from a distant inlet. His "Gatsby light," we called it. My eyes scanned the grass and the edge of the trees, but it was far too dark to see anything in the woods.

  "I'm not in the house," he said. "Sit down."

  I felt something well up inside of me-anger at the fear, rage at this injustice.

  "Change of plan," I said. "I'm going to hang up, dial nine one one, and take my chances. You can go-"

  "If you aren't motivated by self-preservation, there's an old woman named Jeanette I could-"

  "I'll kill you."

  "Sixty-five, lives alone, I think she'd love the company. What do you think? Do I have to visit your mother to show you I'm serious? What is there to consider? Tell me you'll be on that plane, Andrew. Tell me so I don't have to visit your mother tonight."

  "I'll be on that plane."

  The phone clicked, and he was gone.

  Dweller

  A bonus excerpt from Jeff's novel, DWELLER, also available in the Kindle Store...

  When Toby next met the monster, his hair still had traces of Nick Wyler's urine. Nick hadn't actually peed on Toby, thank God, but he'd seasoned the toilet bowl before Toby's head plunged into the murky depths.

  "C'mon, hurry up!" urged Larry Gaige, moments before the dunking. Larry was far and away the biggest creep at Orange Leaf High. His physical build would've made him football team material, if he had any interest in fighting other kids his size. He held Toby against the wall of the bathroom stall, with Toby's head pressed next to a detailed but inaccurate drawing of a vagina.

  "I'm trying!" Nick insisted. He stood next to the toilet, trying to relieve himself but suffering from performance anxiety. Toby personally had always had a real issue with the lack of doors in the bathrooms, so he could understand why it might be difficult for Nick to pee with two other guys in the stall.

  Toby struggled some more, mostly for show. He was short, thin, and outnumbered, and knew he wasn't getting out of this bathroom undunked unless a teacher happened to walk in, searching for smokers. Calling for help was not an option. Larry got his thrills by causing humiliation, not pain, but he would hurt you if he had to.

  "Let's go, let's go!" said Larry, kicking Nick on the back of the leg. Toby heard a few drops hit the water and a few more hit the seat.

  "Why don't you do it? I haven't had enough to drink today."

  "Are you kidding me?" Larry gave his friend a look of absolute disbelief. "Just yank the stopper out of your dick and take a piss!"

  "Maybe if you left the stall for a minute...?"

  For a moment, Toby thought that Larry was actually going to let him go so that he could focus his attention on beating the crap out of Nick. His optimism was quickly extinguished as Larry slammed him against the wall hard enough to make him bite his tongue. He winced and tasted blood.

  The sound of a healthy stream of urine hitting the toilet water filled the stall. Nick was cured.

  "Okay, that's enough," said Larry. "We've gotta hurry up."

  "I can't stop once I've started!"

  "Jesus Christ!"

  "Just let me finish!"

  Larry stood there, visibly fuming, as Nick continued the challenging process of relieving himself. Toby kept praying that a teacher or some other adult visitor would walk in and question the presence of three teenage boys sharing a restroom stall, but as the stream slowed to a trickle and then to a spatter, Toby knew his moment of extreme indignity had almost arrived.

  Larry shoved Nick out of the way before he was completely done. Nick punched him in the arm. "I bought these pants with my own money!"

  Ignoring his friend, Larry pushed Toby to his knees in front of the toilet bowl and then quickly pushed his face toward the aromatic liquid. Toby squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath as his face dipped into the warm water. He gagged and desperately tried not to inhale as the toilet flushed and the water swirled around his head.

  Once the water had completely exited the bowl, Larry let go of his neck. He and Nick walked out of the stall, laughing. Another scrawny twerp successfully humiliated.

  Could've been worse. Had been worse, several times. Still, Toby's cheeks burned from shame and he felt like he was going to throw up as he coughed and gagged and gasped for breath.

  Toby left the stall, turned on one of the faucets, and tried to rinse the piss out of his hair. He could tattle on those jerks and get them suspended, but suspensions were temporary, and there wasn't much the school board could do if the bullies decided to lie in wait for him next to his front porch with tire irons and broken bottles.

  Okay, he didn't actually believe that Larry and Nick would kill him, or even hospitalize him. The most violence they'd inflict was a hard punch to the stomach, maybe some light bruises elsewhere. But there was a code of honor at Orange Leaf High: you didn't rat out your peers. Not even awful, reprehensible, deserve-to-die peers. Nobody liked a rat fink. If Toby went to his parents or a teacher, he'd be scorned by every kid in school.

  He was already the Weird Kid in a school that was severely lacking in other weird kids. If he became the Weird Kid Who Was Also A Rat Fink, he might as well kiss any glimpse of hope for making friends--real friends, maybe even a girlfriend--goodbye. He didn't have many friends in elementary school or junior high, but at least the kids there talked to him, sometimes. But most of his half-friends had gone to West End High, and his out-of-the-way address put him in the Orange Leaf High district, so he was starting over.

  Anyway, someday he'd get Larry and Nick back. He was doing chin-ups every day. He could do eleven or twelve of them now. By the end of the year, who knew how big his muscles might be?

  "Time for a dunking!" Larry might say, pulling Toby into the stall. Toby would drop to his knees, and Nick would laugh and laugh at how easy it was to overpower him. But, oh, how his laughter would stop when Toby suddenly used his brute strength to rip the toilet right out of the floor!

  "Holy cow!" Nick would scream. "How many chin-ups has he done?"

  Toby would smash the toilet into Larry's face, shattering the porcelain and splashing its abhorrent contents all over him. As Larry dropped to the tile floor, unconscious, Nick would stand there, paralyzed with fear.

  "Please don't kill me," Nick would whimper.

  Toby would shake his head and chuckle. "I'm no killer," he would say. But then he would give Nick a stern glare, a glare that chilled Nick's blood. "Dunk yourself."

  "But I'll be shamed and ridiculed!"

  "Don't make me tell you twice."

  Nick would thrust his own head into the toilet, sobbing like a baby. Toby would watch him flush and flush and flush, inwardly amused but far too mature to point and laugh. Perhaps he'd allow the other students to file through the restroom to witness the defeat and learn from it, or perhaps he'd keep it to himself and merely raise an eyebrow at Larry and Nick when they started to get out of line. Either way, Toby Floren would be the victor.

  But that would be later. For now, he had to go back to class with wet hair and embarrassment scorching his cheeks.

  A few of the other kids snickered as Toby returned to history class, but Mr. Hastings didn't say anything about his appearance or tardiness.

  During lunch, kids continued to snicker when they looked at him, even though his hair was dry. Clearly, Larry and Nick had shared the uproarious news of their latest conquest. Toby hoped for a sympathetic glance from somebody, anybody, but didn't receive one. At least a couple of the kids who smiled in his direction had been dunkees themselves.

  He sat in his usual spot at the corner table, doodling in his notebook while he ate a roast beef sandwich. There weren't enough tables in the lunchroom for him to sit by himself, so he sat with his standard group, but an empty seat separated him from the others.

  At least his sandwich was good. Mom had made an outstanding dinner last night, and the leftovers were even better in sandwich form.

&
nbsp; "What're you drawing?" asked J.D. Jerick, through a mouthful of potato chips.

  "Nothing."

  "Let me see it."

  Toby shook his head. He'd fallen for this before. J.D. had expressed an interest in his art, and Toby had proudly explained exactly how the robot's jet pack functioned in zero gravity. Then J.D. had let out a donkey-like laugh, grabbed Toby's notebook, and showed it to everybody at the table. Robots weren't cool at Orange Leaf High.

  "C'mon, I just want to see what you're drawing."

  "No way."

  "I'm not gonna do anything."

  Toby closed his notebook. There wasn't much he could do when he was overpowered by physically imposing bullies like Larry and Nick, but J.D. was a different kind of bully, and Toby wasn't threatened by him at all.