Caroline's ComeUppance

by Tess Quinn

  C

  AROLINE’S

  C

  OMEUPPANCE

  A Novel in Two Volumes

  by

  Tess Quinn

  Illustrations by Sandra Bellock Listorti

  * * *

  CAROLINE’S COMEUPPANCE

  A Novel in Two Volumes

  Copyright © 2007 by

  T.E.Gingrich

  Illustrations Copyright © 2007 by

  Sandra Bellock Listorti

  All rights reserved. No part of

  this work may be reproduced

  in whole or in part in any form

  without the express permission

  of the author and illustrator.

  All characters and situations in

  this book are fictional. Any

  resemblance to any person living

  or dead is entirely coincidental.

  Published by

  T. E. Gingrich

  Printed by Lulu

  in the U.S.A.

  For Annika

  For my fellow Pinkers

  and

  for the friends, family

  and select strangers

  who have supported my writing habit

  with patience, kindness, understanding,

  encouragement, fortitude and

  the occasional kick in the pants

  for the last year and a half,

  particularly Splatt.

  A very special thanks to a special group of people with whom I share the writing ‘bug’ and who have been inspiring me with their own writing, supporting me in my writer’s doldrums, and/or indulging me by reading and remarking upon my work in progress, identified here by their aliases to protect the innocent (but you will, I trust, know who you are and my indebtedness to you):

  Splatt (aforementioned, but worthy of repeating), Ada, SBL, Kreidy, RitaSV, Pantoufle, chocolatemonster, Pinkers in general

  and Plange and the entire gang at the Lounge

  PREFACE

  This book began as a writing exercise as direct result of my regard for Jane Austen’s timeless novel, Pride and Prejudice (P&P), as well as an overall appreciation of this author’s body of literature. It was my intent to take a character from P&P which was, though involved in Miss Austen’s plot, not central to it – and develop a scenario for this character, just for fun. I chose the character of Caroline Bingley. The story narrated within takes place beginning approximately one month following the conclusion of the original events of P&P, or at any rate a month or so following Jane and Elizabeth Bennet’s engagements respectively to Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy.

  What follows is wholly a product of my own imagination. I in no way suggest that Miss Austen would have envisioned Caroline Bingley (or, indeed, her other characters) in the way in which she is (they are) portrayed herein, nor even that she would approve (though I could hope.) I have utilized other P&P characters created by Miss Austen as well in telling Caroline’s story; again, their actions, thoughts and words are my own but offered with the express hope that they are not too inconsistent with the originally-constructed temperaments of these ‘people’ at the conclusion of Miss Austen’s book.

  One final note regarding Miss Austen’s original work which served as the starting point for my own. I have on a few occasions, about a half dozen all told, used language from P&P either directly or paraphrased and repurposed. They are not many, are short lines or phrases, and are used in different context to their original placement. With the exception of these few instances, the credit or fault owing to this work falls, for good or ill, to the present author. And so, I offer you Caroline’s Comeuppance… with a love of Pride and Prejudice, a nod or two to the spirit of Northanger Abbey, and the hope that you will enjoy reading it in the same temperament in which it was written – in fun, with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

  CAST OF RELEVANT CHARACTERS

  (Drawn from characters originally created by Miss Jane Austen)

  Bingley Family:

  Caroline Bingley, fashionable lady of London

  Charles Bingley, wealthy gentleman and brother to Caroline

  Louisa (Bingley) Hurst, sister to Caroline and Charles, wife to Aubrey Hurst

  Mr Hurst, gentleman, husband of Louisa

  Bennet Family:

  Jane Bennet, fiancée to Charles Bingley

  Elizabeth (Lizzy) Bennet, fiancée to Fitzwilliam Darcy

  Mr Bennet, father to Jane and Lizzy (and to three others not appearing

  materially in this narrative: Mary, Lydia, Catherine/Kitty)

  Mrs Bennet, mother to Jane, Lizzy, Mary, Lydia, Kitty

  Darcy Family:

  Fitzwilliam Darcy, even wealthier gentleman from old established family

  Georgiana Darcy, sister to Fitzwilliam

  (Characters wholly created by present author)

  Phillip Tremayne, friend to Bennet family and former Oxford tutor

  ‘Sir’, man of mystery – rogue or gentleman?

  Sara Allen, lady’s maid to Caroline Bingley

  Joss McMahon, servant/colleague/ward of ‘Sir’

  Lady Althea Parkhurst, fashionable lady of London, friend to Caroline

  Various and sundry minor characters

  CAROLINE’S COMEUPPANCE

  VOLUME ONE:

  A WOMAN SCORNED

  VOLUME ONE: A WOMAN SCORNED

  Chapter One:

  The Summons

  23 October 1797

  C

  aroline Bingley stretched to ease the stiffness from her back and limbs then swung her legs over the side of the bed to sit up as her maid Sara Allen pulled back the heavy brocade drapery from the windows. Brilliant sun – too vivid for the custom of the season or her mood -- streamed in through the panes, causing Caroline to wince and curse silently, not for the first time, that her chambers in Louisa’s house in Grosvenor Square faced east. Behind her eyes, a steady thrumming increased in equal measure with the pressure in her head; she wished she could just lie back again, close her eyes, and shut out the world.

  But that would not change anything for the better; it could only delay the inevitable trial that awaited her today. Today and forever. Indeed, much of the pain she was experiencing in both her head and joints stemmed from a near-sleepless night – turning from side to side for hours on end, trying to will away thoughts that assaulted her from every direction. Even when she had dozed periodically, it had been fitful; marked by a spate of unsettling images and bringing her acutely awake in panic. In her half-dream states, she envisioned herself as a crone, bent and shrivelled and, worse, utterly alone. She would attempt to call out, but could raise only a croaking whisper to which no one responded. She awakened in the dark, her bed linens clammy, a cry hovering about her lips. Caroline knew the source of her unsettling delusions. Each time they woke her, she chastised herself for falling prey to such notions; yet they persisted, they returned again and again to deprive her of rest.

  This had been her pattern for a week or more, ever since receiving that last detestable letter from Charles. Caroline felt drained, and it was beginning to assert itself in her appearance. Her skin held an unnatural pallor, around the eyes she bore shadowy circles, the lustre of her fiery hair fading to a drab ginger. This could not continue. Even Allen had suggested yesterday, on dressing her hair, that Caroline consider a bit of rouge to bring colour to her cheeks. As if she would paint herself like a common hussy. She simply had to face directly the events of the past weeks and make the best of them. But how to do that when her reasoning had grown as dull as her tresses? What reserves could she call upon to endure such revolting … … happiness!

  Well, it could not be helped. Charles had asserted his wishes quite uncharacteristically, insisting that Car
oline and Louisa join him at Netherfield Park to share in his good fortune. They had ignored the first invitation but could not disregard the second, an indictment questioning their goodwill towards the welfare of their brother. They had replied in the only manner they could, with the promise to travel to Hertfordshire at the start of this week – today, in fact.

  Louisa had accepted this change in their fortunes with some equanimity in the intervening time, blathering on with assertions that Miss Jane Bennet was, after all, a beautiful woman and quite sweet in temperament. Her demeanour was sure to charm their London acquaintances. Indeed, her demeanour was so gentle she probably would present little challenge to the sisters’ own influence on Charles, to their benefit over time. As long as they could keep the future Mrs Bingley from her horrific family, they might indeed enjoy her companionship. If in the end she made Charles happy and spurred him, finally, to establish a fixed estate for the Bingley name, so much for the good.

  Caroline responded with all the trite things required to acquiesce to this prattle, but inside her stomach seized, twisted into knots. Louisa – superficial, fat-witted Louisa who recognized nothing that did not intrude on her own comforts (in that way being a match for her useless husband) – did not consider that there was so much more to this debacle than having to accept Jane Bennet as sister. Caroline’s personal sensitivities in this matter went unnoticed in Louisa’s attempts to make light of what was now decided fact. The real obscenity had not even been addressed.

  Had Caroline a confidant, she might have confessed that Charles’s engagement to Jane Bennet, while not desirable in the least, was yet not the news which robbed her of speech, of peace, of her very breath. She might have conceded that it was the secondary announcement his missive imparted so casually – that Mr Darcy was to wed Jane’s sister as well – which demolished Caroline’s spirit. It was this betrayal which fuelled her sleepless nights, quelled her appetite, and stripped her nerve for making this journey today. But Caroline had no confidant; these sentiments went unspoken, repressed until they manifested themselves in her present state.

  Allen intruded on Caroline’s dire thoughts, nudging a cup of tea under her mistress’s nose until Caroline returned to some awareness of her chamber and the morning’s light warm upon her face. She took the cup without ceremony and sipped, oblivious to the heat and strength of the brew. Eventually sensation returned to her body, and her soreness focused her mind as nothing else had done. This was what she must use to advantage: pain. It was her only ally now; and she would rely on it to propel herself through the days to come. The discomfort in her joints would wane, but the aching in her heart was well-embedded. She would use it to keep herself sharp in the coming days. She would not allow anyone – especially Fitzwilliam Darcy – to guess the devastation which his news had induced.

  Caroline was a survivor, she had always weathered setbacks with equanimity. She would overcome this one as well. The more she reflected on the current situation, perhaps there was yet something she could do to avert a dismal outcome and turn events to her own will. Yes, perhaps. But she could hope to accomplish such a reversal only if she was resident with the source of the problem. Miss Bennet may believe she had won this battle, but she had yet to face the full effects of Caroline’s cunning. Caroline would go to Hertfordshire, she would meet Elizabeth Bennet on her own turf… but on Caroline’s terms.

  Revived by the stirrings of a plan, Caroline chided Allen for dawdling, ordering her best riding gown to be brought immediately. While Sara scuttled into the closet to do as she was bidden, Caroline crossed the room and sat at her dressing table. She glanced at herself in the mirror to steel her determination. A cold smile lent a curve to her lips as she noted the colour returning to her cheeks.

  ~~~~~

  “Who?”

  “Wha..?” Caroline opened her eyes at Louisa’s voice and glanced at Aubrey Hurst. He was sound asleep on the cushioned bench next to his wife; Louisa was leaning forward looking with great interest directly at Caroline as if expecting a reply from her quarter.

  “Who what?” asked Caroline.

  “Who,” Louisa emphasized, “is not a match for you?” She sighed. “I cannot suppose this to be all you have to say on the subject. You cannot simply utter such a thing without explanation!”

  Caroline realized she must have spoken aloud her last thought, and hastened to dispel Louisa’s curiosity. “Oh, it is nothing, sister. It was only a silly dream. The image has left me before now, I have no notion what it signified.” She composed her features and gave Louisa a wan smile as if to discount the incident entirely. Louisa sat back, disappointed not to have any salacious gossip to learn. After a few moments of idle chatter, she closed her eyes as well, leaving Caroline to her own musings yet again.

  The Hursts and Caroline had set out for Hertfordshire in their carriage just after breakfast, the first that Caroline had eaten in days. The combination of a sated appetite, the jostling rhythm of the barouche, and the prospect of half a day’s journey with only her sister and Mr Hurst for company had sent Caroline into a light doze within minutes of losing sight of town. She had turned inward, reflecting on the situation at hand and what measures she might take to change the present course.

  Caroline had not spared herself upon examination, acknowledged the miscalculations she had made over the past few months: she had underestimated Elizabeth Bennet for a simple country girl rather than a serious adversary; discounted as nominal entertainment the effect the woman had had on Darcy; and allowed too much for her own influence in that sphere. Caroline did not spare Darcy either… she had credited him with too much refinement and judgment to succumb to Miss Bennet’s unsophisticated manner. But in the end, all men lacked the wherewithal of discernment when it came to women. Caroline should have realized; she herself had captivated many a gentleman’s interest, simply for the fun of their attentions until becoming bored and throwing them back to the world at large. She had supposed Mr Darcy to be made of stouter will in that regard given her own slow progress with him. But she would not make that mistake a second time.

  Nor would she mistake Miss Bennet’s abilities to charm. Mr Darcy may have been fooled into interest by the woman’s initial aloofness, she had played her hand well; but Caroline knew all the arts women employ and could, with skill and without indicting herself, expose Miss Bennet for her avarice. When Mr Darcy realized the error of his misplaced affections – and he would, Caroline would see to it – once having accepted it, and given the Bennet family’s predilections for vulgarity, he would need little persuasion to sever his promise. And she, Caroline, would be there to soothe his regrets.

  But Caroline could not discuss this with Louisa or indeed with anyone. Her sister and she had often conspired in lesser challenges in the past, but this was different. This was Caroline’s chance of a future! It could not be left to unskilled or amateur minds. Besides, Louisa was likely to foil the best of plans by inadvertently remarking something of them to Charles. Blood ties or not, Caroline’s brother would never allow any subterfuge to ruin the presumed happiness of his good friend… or of his beloved Jane’s sister. No, Caroline must act alone in this venture if she was to succeed. Time enough when all was settled and Caroline was mistress of Pemberley for her to enlighten her sister on how she had achieved her aims.

  Chapter Two:

  Return to Netherfield

  A

  fter what seemed an interminable ride, the house finally came into view as the barouche made its slow journey up the tree-lined drive of Netherfield Park. Caroline glanced out the carriage window at the pilastered entrance, curiosity eclipsing her dread of seeing the happy couples lined up to receive their visitors. So firmly had the image been fixed in her mind of smiling faces, gloating over their good fortune, that Caroline was somewhat surprised – and strangely miffed – to see the portico empty. Indeed, she continued to watch the house as it loomed larger with the progress of the coach, but no one appeared to mark her arrival. She had braced
herself for an initial meeting – rehearsing polite conversation and profferments of good wishes – for the last half hour of the ride, but now saw she had imagined wrongly. The dark doorway remained void of life, growing larger as she neared it, rather like the gaping maw of some mythical beast positioning itself to swallow Caroline up and send her plummeting to the deepest levels of hell.

  Caroline shook herself to throw off this last image, drawing a curious glance from Louisa and Aubrey Hurst. This would not do. She could not afford flights of fancy at a time when her senses needed to remain sharp.

  “I wonder at our lack of reception,” she said in the general direction of her sister. “Surely our arrival is anticipated, since it was so eagerly sought.”

  Even as she spoke, they drew up to the house and the carriage stopped. Finally, people emerged from the house to greet them – several footmen and grooms coming from the ground floor under the porch to see to the carriage, horses and luggage. However, of anyone other than servants, there continued no sign.

  As a footman handed her from the carriage, Caroline’s anxieties receded, to be overtaken by mounting annoyance. Where the devil was Charles? This was not to be borne. She turned to remonstrate to Louisa when a movement caught her attention at the gate in the wall that separated the west garden from the stable block. Here was her brother, finally, approaching in some haste on foot. His attire suggested he had been riding; a fact confirmed by the familiar aroma of saddle and mount that assailed Caroline as Charles reached the party.