An Elderberry Fall

by Ruth P. Watson

  Adam was waiting. “I didn’t know if you’d be on the early or late train, but I’ve been waiting for you.”

  I threw my arms around his shoulders. “School is wonderful, Adam. I’ve met a lot of friends and new people,” I told him, elated about the experience.

  “I know you can’t wait to see your baby and husband.”

  “My baby is waiting for me, but my husband is still with the team.”

  “You will have a lot to catch up on when you get home. Do you have any bags I need to carry for you?”

  “I left everything back in Petersburg. There was not a need to drag them home with me, when I’ll be heading right back in a few days.”

  He got on the trolley with me. I filled him in on the week’s activities.

  As we got off the trolley, Adam tightened up the scarf around his neck. He and I walked down Broad Street past the government buildings toward Jackson Heights. When we came to the bar Ms. Pearl sang in, I convinced Adam to go in with me to find her. She was there, sitting in the empty room with her pianist. She immediately recognized me when I walked through the door.

  “Hey, girl, why are you here so early? The show doesn’t start until sundown.” Her pianist got up and walked over to the bar.

  “Who is the fellow with you?” she asked.

  “Oh, this is Adam, a friend from school.”

  She grinned. She was without the heavy makeup, and even appeared younger than when she was all made up. “Your husband was in here last night. He said he was headed back on the road again,” she said between sips of something that looked like water.

  “It must have been someone else, Ms. Pearl. Simon is still out of town,” I said as I sat down in the empty seat beside the piano.

  “Oh no, it was him all right,” she said and pointed toward the bar. “He sat right there and talked to me for a good half hour.”

  “Good,” I commented, puzzled, “he must be home early.”

  “Probably so,” she said. “He was in here last Saturday night too. I asked him about you. Did he tell you?”

  “No, ma’am, he must have forgotten,” I lied.

  “What made you stop in here today?”

  “I wanted to see how you were doing since Mr. Willie passed.”

  “I’m doing good. Willie was a good man, just too jealous,” she said, shaking her head. “I miss him, though. That man loved me.”

  “He appeared to be a nice man too.”

  Adam stood beside my chair quietly absorbing our conversation.

  “Like I said, he was good, but a little too jealous. I’m an entertainer. I have to keep my customers coming back fo’ mo’.”

  “Have they found the killer yet?”

  She raised her voice. “There ain’t no damn killer. He brought it on his self. You just can’t jump in nobody’s face for no reason. Willie had a temper, and that’s what killed him.”

  Even though she had a smile on her face, I could feel a little frustration in her voice. She didn’t like my last comment, so I quickly excused myself. “I’m glad you are doing good, Ms. Pearl. I ought to get on home now.”

  “It was good you stopped by. How’s your baby?”

  “He is getting bigger.”

  “Keep him away from the mess. If he is anything like his daddy, he’s got some slick in him.”

  “No, ma’am, he is just like Simon,” I quickly interjected.

  “He’s got some shit in him, too,” she said.

  All the time, Adam Murphy was quiet, listening to everything and without a doubt absorbing every word like a sponge. His eyes sparkled with curiosity, either from meeting a star or from listening to our conversation, one which had my face turning pink.

  She peered over at Adam and smiled. “Glad you ain’t like some of these women sitting around waiting for a man to come home.”

  “Adam is just a friend, Ms. Pearl.”

  “Everybody needs a good friend, chile. Don’t feel bad for having a friend. I’ll bet Simon has several women friends. Don’t be no damn fool for no man.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I mumbled.

  “You don’t have to say ma’am to me. Just call me Pearl. If you need someone to talk to, come see me.”

  As we were turning to leave, the white man from the club appeared.

  “Who are these people, Pearl?”

  “Just a couple of friends,” she answered, as we turned to walk away.

  He seemed inquisitively nice. I studied Ms. Pearl before I walked away. I made note of her mannerisms when the white man entered. Her composure was the same. He didn’t have the same effect on her, that Momma said Willie did. Ms. Pearl wasn’t scared of him.

  Adam asked me as we turned onto Adams Street toward my house, “Are you going to be all right? Ms. Pearl said your husband was home.”

  “I don’t know, Adam. Seems like things are changing.”

  A concerned frown swept across his face, and his eyes appeared worried; all the time his brown eyes were squinted like he was thinking intensely.

  I also had something brewing in my thoughts. On three different occasions women had orchestrated doubt concerning my husband’s devotion to me. No one had ever said anything about him to me. He was the good guy, the one who opened his heart to me and to Robert. Simon loved me and I loved him. What was said bothered me, even made me sad. Why would they say those things?

  When we made it to the gate of my house, I couldn’t let Adam come in. I said to him softly, “Adam, I think it is best I deal with everybody before I introduce you to them.”

  “I will leave, if you think you will be all right.”

  “I am fine. My neighbors, the Halls, are like family to me.”

  Adam hugged me in front of the apartment gate.

  “I’ll be going.”

  As he walked away, I yelled to him, “I’ll stop to see you on my way back to school!”

  He turned and waved, but he didn’t smile.

  I watched him until he disappeared through the oak trees and was out of sight, headed back toward the college. Then I knocked on the front door.

  Mrs. Hall came to the door. Robert was in her arms, clinging to her like he was glued to her.

  “Come on in, Carrie,” she said.

  I reached for Robert and he jumped into my arms. I couldn’t resist smiling.

  “You miss me?” I asked him.

  He just smiled from ear to ear.

  “Mrs. Hall, was Robert a good little boy?”

  “He was real good. He is a happy child and so easy to care for.”

  “I’ll take him out of your hands for a few days.”

  She laughed. “Tell me all about school.”

  “It is everything you said it would be. I love my classes and the students are real nice. My living arrangements are okay. I share a room with two other girls.”

  “Is that all right with you?” Mrs. Hall asked.

  “It is probably a blessing. I am learning how to study and work from them. We cook the meals and clean for the owners. So far, we have a plan.”

  “Good. I knew it would work out.”

  Then I asked, “Has Simon been home, Mrs. Hall?”

  “Nobody has been here, but us. I thought he was going to stay away for a few weeks.”

  “That is what he said.”

  “You sound like you doubt it.”

  “It’s just people say they saw him. I’m wondering if he is really out of town.”

  “Now don’t read too much into what people say.”

  “I won’t, but it all sounded so real, Mrs. Hall.”

  “What did they say?”

  I told her about Nadine coming over and about Ms. Pearl saying he had been at the nightclub. When I told her about Ms. Pearl, she sucked her teeth. “What’s wrong, Mrs. Hall?”

  She tucked her head. “Nothing, I tell you; nothing at all, Carrie. Now don’t spend too much time worrying about it. Just talk to Simon when he comes home.”

  When the words flowed out of her mouth, the
y seemed forced. It felt like an empty statement without conviction. When she changed the subject, I knew something was up.

  She handed me Robert’s things. I picked up the bag and started toward the door. I looked back at her, and she turned her head.

  When I got home, everything was the same way I’d left it. I looked in the ice box and everything was still the same. I went into the bedroom and the bed was made the way I’d left it. How could Simon be in town? Where was he laying his head?

  I unpacked my small bag, fed Robert and washed his clothes by hand on the washboard. I hung up his things on the clothesline in the bedroom. Then I said my prayers, and Robert and I curled up together and went off to sleep.

  The next day around noon, I put the sweater Momma had knitted on Robert, and he gazed at me, waiting for me to pick him up. I threw on my coat and with Robert on my hip, we marched across the street to see Nadine. I couldn’t wait for Simon to decide to come home. I wanted to know what was going on.

  Nadine answered the door after one knock.

  “Come on in,” she said as she opened the door wide.

  I stepped inside. Her two children were sitting at the kitchen table eating biscuits.

  “Y’all hurry and finish and go on into the front room. I’m going to make me and Carrie a cup of coffee.”

  Her little girl got up from the table. She cleaned the crumbs away and put the dish cloth in the sink. “Can I hold him?” she asked, and pulled Robert from my arms. He smiled at the sight of other children.

  “To what do I owe this visit?” Nadine asked, smiling.

  “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “I knew you would come calling sooner or later. Have a seat, now that I have my kitchen back.”

  The table had been cleaned and both children were in the front room playing with Robert on the floor.

  We pulled out a seat at the wooden table. Nadine poured both of us a cup of coffee. It was the afternoon and I usually drank coffee only in the mornings. After adding sugar and cream, I sipped. “Nadine, I’m a young wife. I probably don’t have the experience you do with men. Simon is the only man I’ve ever loved.”

  “Carrie, I know you didn’t come over here to go through your entire history with me, stuff like where you come from and your momma’s first name I think you have a more serious reason.”

  I cleared my throat. “Well, you said something about Simon that has me worried.”

  “What is so confusing? Was it what I said or how I said it?”

  I took a sip of the coffee since all of a sudden my throat was dry. I needed help getting out the words and making sense as I spoke. I inhaled and attempted to get my thoughts aligned so I could find out what I needed to know.

  “I’m waiting,” Nadine said, twirling her long tresses as she always did. It was a habit you’d expect of a young girl.

  “Nadine, you made mention of Simon and a girl the last time we talked. Could you explain what you meant to me.”

  “I’m not sure you have it right. I never said Simon had a girl. I just suggested that you wise up, girl.”

  “What did you mean?”

  “Carrie, are you completely naïve? Your husband has been living in Richmond for some time now. He lived across the road there before you came here. Now, do you really think you are his only girl?”

  “Yes, Nadine, I do; at least I did.”

  Nadine shook her head. She reached over and tapped me on the hand. She raised her voice. “You are young, but don’t be a damn fool!”

  “I’m not a fool,” I responded. “I am in school now. I will be teaching students real soon. I’m not a fool.”

  “I didn’t mean you couldn’t read or write. You need to take care of yourself. I know Simon will continue to be Simon.”

  “Nadine, I don’t understand what is wrong with Simon. Is he seeing someone else?”

  “He is a man, isn’t he? He ain’t no different than most men. You just got here about six months ago. Do you really think he was sitting in a corner waiting for you?”

  “No, but he is a good man. He has never hurt me. He is probably the best man I’ve ever seen.”

  “Even the best men can go astray. Everybody needs a little loving. Simon is like my ole man. When he sees something that looks tasteful, he will pursue it. That is how we first got together.”

  I listened with ears as big as an elephant; the word together bothered me.

  “I was minding my own business at the bar where your Ms. Pearl works, when Simon came over to me. He approached me with a very wide smile, one that covered his entire face. Simon grabbed my hand, and told me he needed company, wanted someone to talk to; so I sat down.”

  “I thought you were happy with your ole man. Why would you be in a night spot without him?”

  “You asked me a question, and now you don’t want me to answer.”

  “Nadine, I just want the truth.”

  “Okay, he asked me to have a drink with ’em, and I did. A woman came by and rolled a cold eye at me. I just knew she was his woman, but he denied it, said I had seen something different. And yes, I was with Jessie, but he was off on another one of his trips.” She peered over at me. “You know a woman needs company too.”

  “He is my husband, Nadine!”

  “I didn’t know about you. I didn’t think he had anybody. I saw one woman come out of his place the entire year he lived alone, before you came.”

  “What woman? What did she look like?”

  “Listen to me, Carrie. You appear to be a naïve, country girl type.”

  “I am not naïve.”

  “You need to know that whatever he does in the dark will come to light. Just wait and see.”

  “Have you seen him in the last week?”

  “No, I have not.”

  I couldn’t help feeling Nadine had been naïve too. The seriousness in her eyes indicated she had been fooled once. I knew she wouldn’t be fooled the second time around.

  “I ain’t seen nobody across the street. You ain’t been there neither.”

  “I thought maybe Simon had been home. I’m in school.”

  “So I take it, the little boy taking your books is in school with you. You are a bold girl, Carrie.”

  “Nadine, that man is a friend. Simon is whom I love.”

  “Most women don’t realize men are like us. They need attention and someone to tell their secrets to. Maybe you are more like Simon than you think.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I think sooner or later, you are going to get tired of being the good little girl at home waiting for her husband to make it big in the Colored League. You will start to live yo’ own life. That’s why I’m sort of glad my ole man left. He wanted me to live in seclusion and wait for him to return home, after he’d been chasing coat tails all day long. A friend told me he is always at the station waiting for some pretty girl he can charm.”

  I shook my head. “Why do you have to turn things around?”

  “Did I hit a nerve, Carrie?”

  “You just seem so detached from what I was trying to ask you.”

  Nadine cleared her throat, “Simon is a man. If he had a woman in the house before you came, it wouldn’t change nothing. All I’m sayin’ is, you should not be no fool. How hard is that to understand? You a grown woman with a child; now act like it.”

  I walked out feeling more confused than when I came.

  Chapter 17

  I tossed and turned all night waiting for Simon to show up. I kept watching for the door knob to turn, anticipating him walking through the front door. Robert could sense my tension. He whimpered one time before rolling back over, closing his eyes and falling back to sleep. I silently waited as the stars came out and danced across the sky, and the moon ascended in the heavens shining bright through my bedroom window, and although I must have fallen to sleep, I still remembered when the sun came out and lightened up the sky. About two a.m., I woke up, and went into the kitchen. I searched the
cupboard for the wine Simon had brought home, given to him by an old lady from our hometown. Elsberry wine was not my favorite, but anything to help me sleep. It was the nastiest-tasting drink I’d ever tasted, yet when I finished the last half of the glass, my eyes had begun to hang heavy and off to sleep I went.

  I waited to hear from my husband all weekend long, but there were no signs of him. I didn’t receive a letter either. So, I packed my clothes and got ready to return to school. I forced myself to only think about making my grades and doing my little job cleaning and washing, which allowed me to stay in the rooming house for free. Simon was not around, but everything in the house was paid for. I tried to dismiss my thoughts about my husband, and focus on something else, but him missing from home, yet seen around by others, had my nerves rattled and my mind perplexed.

  The weeks flew by.

  Robert seemed to be very comfortable with the Halls. Simon was his father, but Robert would never know him if he was always off chasing dreams. Now I was doing the same thing.

  One morning, I got Robert dressed for his trip downstairs, dressing him in the baby-blue sleeper Momma had knitted. He was so cute, almost like the doll baby Momma made me as a child. I didn’t want to go back to school without telling Simon about my new life as a student. I never was a good liar, and always felt bad when I stayed after school with Simon and let him kiss me and rub me, but never on my private parts. It was disgraceful for a girl to lie, but for Simon, I’d do anything. Now, I wasn’t sure how he would handle it, or how he would feel about it all, but I had to come clean. I didn’t want any secrets between us, although from the mouths of the neighborhood, he was holding them from me.

  When we got down to Mrs. Hall’s apartment, she was cooking for her husband. He was smiling from ear to ear and staring at her like a dog in heat. As much as they stuck out in the neighborhood, they had a different relationship than many couples. It was as if the forbidden fruit was more tasty. He loved her and whatever she desired, he honored. On the stove were beans and cornbread. And no matter how it tasted, he would say it was the best in town. Everybody knew white women couldn’t cook. Mrs. Hall was nice, though, down to the core. She forced me to look at color from a new perspective. Before meeting Mrs. Hall and her starry blue eyes, I felt any white person around was a monster, except for Mrs. Gaines, whom I often wondered about.