Altered: A Beyond the Brothel Walls Novel

by Ryans, Rae Z.

  Cain’s lean legs spanned the tiny space in a matter of seconds. Too fast for my brain to react, but my heart registered it and hammered against my ribcage. Cain removed the glass from my hand and slid the tumbler across my desk. My brows furrowed, and my lips parted.

  “Let me remove your doubt, sweets.” Cain’s hand curled into my hair, and he drew me closer. Our lips hovered, but the electricity and magnetic pull surged. “I want you.”

  My lips hummed, his words tickling. “You want me?”

  His coppery eyes lightened as he stared at my mouth. “Yeah, sweets, you got a problem with that?”

  I shook my head, which he was still holding firmly in his grip, and grimaced.

  “Sorry,” he said, loosening his fingers before cupping my face. “I like this look better on you.” Cain slid his thumbs over my beard, which I hadn’t had seven months ago. “I’d still know you anywhere, though.”

  Did he want to kiss me, or was he going to keep on sweet-talking all night? My hands encompassed his waist, yanking him against me, and we stood chest-to-chest, nose-to-nose. A ragged breath parted from my lungs. Connecting, I growled against his mouth until he opened for me.

  Cain released my face, his hands smoothing over my back and settling on my ass. The fire that never ceased in his presence sparked, and my stomach twirled, churning with heat as his tongue danced with mine. Smoke and whiskey tainted his taste, developing into a sophisticated palate of old-world class.

  The desk skidded slightly, his thighs nudging me back, but I didn’t move as my gut twisted the sensations, redirecting the need he was creating and shooting it into my groin. His tongue massaged mine, and I craved more.

  Blood surged to my cock, but my heart swelled too; feelings cemented and rooted me in place. But when the time came to run away, I would hurt him, and in turn, he would hurt me.

  Dizziness affected my legs. I stumbled sideways, but Cain didn’t miss a beat, and we crashed to the hardwood floor, narrowly missing the desk. My ass stung from the impact, but my arms circled his trim waist. In my arms, nothing had ever felt so right.

  His hips ground and dipped against me. I could not let him go and pressed him closer, my legs wrapping around his waist. Hips met hips as our cloth covered bodies glided in sync. I will wound him; my head screamed, but my body responded by removing his belt. More clothing and boots followed, and our kiss broke long enough to drag our shirts over our heads.

  We faced each other, held each other. I had never grasped onto another as if my life depended on it. Yet with Cain, the game had changed. Denial proved futile. Smitten with a mendacious warlock, the idea was almost laughable. Almost unbelievable.

  Exposed, stripped, and no time to reflect, he enclosed his hand around my leaking cock and smeared the arousal over my ass. He tilted my hips and slid his member over my ready hole; I wiggled in anticipation to meet his thrust. A groan ripped through my chest as Cain entered me. Heat flushed my skin, coating me in a slippery sheen. “Oh, fuck.”

  The twinge in my heart grew, pulsing and throbbing with each plunge. From the inside out I about burst, each rush filled me more, and I thought if this was how Father wanted me to die, so be it. Cain and I, I and Cain, maybe change wasn’t such a terrible progression as long as I had him to guide the way.

  My cry died inside his mouth. My body convulsed and shuddered. Sticky, hot semen spilled between our bodies.

  I pushed his shoulder and rolled Cain onto his back, mounting him. His fingers trailed through my spent seed, smearing it across my hairy chest. My hips and thighs rolled forward, grinding as he moaned. Cain leaned up, licking and nibbling his way to my mouth.

  “I’ve dreamed of this. Dreamed of finding you again, and you fucking me senseless.”

  He stared into my eyes and said, “Do I measure up?”

  I bit my lip as his hand wrapped around my semi-erect dick and stroked. Groans wrenched free from my mouth keeping time with his gentle tugs. My hand cupped his neck and trailed the path of the snake along his torso.

  “Dorian?”

  I chuckled. “Oh, I needed to answer? I thought this,” I scooped cum with my fingers and brought it to his lips, “was proof enough.”

  Cain encircled my fingers with his hot mouth, sucking the evidence clean. A moan shivered through my parted mouth.

  “You’re fucking beautiful.” I cupped his smooth cheek. “You feel bloody good inside of me.”

  “You keep saying that,” he said, slowing. “It’ll go to my head.”

  My lashes fluttered. “It’s true.” Because I had to remind myself, how breakable beauty was in this vast universe. Soft lips suckled my fingers, and his honey-colored gaze heated me. Strong arms held me as a lover, and he wasted the notion on my undeserving soul. Change didn’t occur overnight, and I was the last person he should involve himself with on this planet. I broke and destroyed beauty, for I was its opposite. Relationships didn’t exist for me. Love served as an enigma Father had created for humanity. Demons and Angels understood self-fulfillment, servitude, and pleasure. Love knew no bounds, yet hurdles littered my life. I didn’t deserve a man such as Cain or his love, and certainly, not his heart.

  “You have the face of an angel and the depth of an old soul.” His thick lips pressed against mine, but he pulled away quickly.

  “Takes one to know one,” I teased, splaying my hands over his broad shoulders and smoothing over his muscular arms. Beneath clothing, he had hidden himself well, and nothing would have made me happier than to burn every stitch he owned.

  Cain opened his mouth to speak, but I had decided no more words, and shoved him back to the floor.

  A smile spread over my lips. I pinned him down, seating myself fully. “You’re mine now.”

  Cain’s breath hitched as I bottomed out and rotated my hips. Sweat beaded on his brow, and I wiped the perspiration away. My lips engulfed his, nipping at them to open. Fingers pinched and played with his hardened nipples.

  Sensory overload became my game, my own pleasure forgotten. I wanted to hear him roar and break his resolve. He arched and met my downward thrusts; his breathy tone urged me, whispered against my mouth in between fevered kisses, as he drew closer to release.

  Every muscle froze. Cain shook his head from side to side, fighting against himself.

  “Let go, babe,” I whispered. “Just you and me.” Another thrust and I clenched myself around his cock.

  “Fuck... No, I… can’t.” He shielded his face, turning his head away from me. A pink blush turned redder before my eyes, and he sniffled.

  ”It’s okay, babe. Hush.” I collected him in my arms. Tears rolled down his heated cheeks, and the wetness touched my chest. I said nothing about them because I had had no words of comfort, but each leaked tear twisted inside of me. Hate for whoever had caused them and another emotion I didn’t understand.

  “I’m sorry,” he said between sobs. “It’s me… sorry… can’t... leave me.”

  The strained tone cut me deeper than tears. “I’m not leaving you, Cain.”

  I hefted us from the floor and cradled him against my chest, wondering if I could keep the promise. With Cain in tow, I kicked the door to the stairs with my foot and carried him sideways up the narrow spiral staircase. My back rubbed against the textured wallpaper from the tight fit.

  He sniffled again. “Where we going?”

  Admiring Cain, I found him nestled against my chest as we reached the top of the stairs. “Where no other man has gone before,” I had wanted to say, but quieted him instead. Men don’t come home with me.

  Pretenses had to end; his words and flirtations contradicted his actions. Cain hadn’t wanted me, but I would have helped him regardless of his insistence on sleeping with me. The southern countries had raveled out of control, and someone had to save the innocents, but I didn’t know how. One or two was a cakewalk, but there were thousands of slaves spread between Garland and Delphia.

  My hand flicked the light switch and illuminated the den in a soft
glow. I had to work quickly and start a fire before the solar cells drained. His breath clouded the dark air, and his teeth chattered. I placed him on the couch and handed over a blanket.

  No tender moments, just unadulterated lust had clouded my past and for a damned good reason. We traveled the same road twice today, but firsts had filled my day too. The first time I cared, or thought, what if there is more. What if Cain is the one Father created for me? But he didn’t want me; he needed someone to save his sister, and the sting hurt. Not to my ego, though. No, his actions only slightly marred me.

  A hand rested over my heart, tapping and willing the muscle to calm. My gaze brushed over his semi-exposed body. Brownish hair covered his chiseled chest and trailed to his groin. The snake tattoo danced with each heaved breath. Cain’s beauty rivaled the statue of David, and his body mimicked those hard-sculpted lines.

  He said nothing, grasping the cover in his trembling hand. His teeth were still chattering, but I doubted the cold had much to do with his reaction. He tracked me curiously; I strolled into my room to retrieve fresh, warm clothing. Each of my hairs stood at attention. They had earlier, whenever he watched me. I spied on him from the doorway. Questions I hadn’t understood flooded my mind, more than what ifs and my future. For a moment, his motivations and insistence I leave the case rose in my mind. Were his feelings for me real? What war did he battle? What stopped him from release?

  Whatever had happened to him I hadn’t a clue, but Cain had altered from the man I’d met before. I drew a hand over my face and stared between my parted fingers. The frightened and submissive man lounging on my couch, shaken and huddled under the blanket, wasn’t the same man who’d kicked my ass seven months ago.

  If he had changed, why couldn’t I? Was there a spot for him in my hectic life? Anyone else and my answer would have been a big fat thumbs down, served up with a side of never.

  Cain had always been different. Soul mate perhaps, but the notion of Father giving his rider of Death a mate was laughable. I shook the thought from my head and gathered the clothing. We were the same size; close enough to fake it for a while until I found a reason to strip them back off. What if Cain never let me? I peeked at him again. A chuckle escaped at the idea, and I sounded more like the old Dorian. Like Death.

  His footsteps padded over the hardwood floor. “What’s so funny?” Cain leaned on the doorframe and the perfect image of happily ever after with the boy next door drifted away.

  I was one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that had torn this world asunder. Would he even believe the truth? Even though I had witnessed Cain’s magic, there were no guarantees. I had to let him go, even if I didn’t want to. My hand cupped his cheek and I smoothed my thumb over his freckled skin.

  “I’m going to jet—”

  “No,” I said. Dark hair shook into my eyes, and a pain radiated from my heart. “Why?” Why would he want to leave me?

  Cain stepped backward, and my hand dropped to my side. Cold molded over my skin where there once stood heat. Emptiness where fullness had once rested. I hated every bit of it. The sex didn’t matter. I wanted the man standing in front of me to stay. “Don’t you feel it?”

  His head said no, but his eyes screamed, yes. “What have you done to me?” Cain tripped over the rug and landed on his ass. “What spell is this?” He closed the blanket around himself and held the fabric taught.

  I snorted and tossed on my clothes. If he bolted, I wanted to ready myself.

  “Are you one of those demons?” Cain snapped his fingers and stared at the ceiling. He ducked as I tossed him clothes. “There’s an old rock band named after them…”

  “Incubus?” I chuckled at the thought. Those demons were ridiculously good looking, like male model gorgeous, like Cain. “Nah, and I’m no demon either. No saint, but…” I scratched my head and flashed a grin, because I had no more ideas left. What else could I have said? Cain deserved the truth, but I risked losing him after I’d found him again.

  Those doe eyes softened, and he nodded. After saving his sister, I would come clean. He might still shun me, but maybe there was a better chance he would accept me and tolerate the fiend hidden beneath my facade.

  “I’m not your enemy, but for the record, there’s a few good demons left in this world.”

  Cain scoffed, and I sighed. Inch by inch, his flesh disappeared under the clothing, but the temptation of him didn’t.

  “Let’s eat and figure out who kidnapped your sister.”

  Cain stared at his hands and crossed them over his chest. “Thought you wouldn’t take the job,” he said in a child-like voice, as if I had told him Santa Claus wasn’t real.

  I knelt and brushed the hair from his face. “We’ll figure it out, babe.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and hefted him from the floor. Our lips hovered, and I whispered, “I’ve still got a job to do, and it looks like your sister’s disappearance is somehow connected. As long as you don’t fear me, we’re good.” I didn’t know for certain, but Garland seemed to always be behind the disappearances in some way or another.

  Cain gazed into my eyes, and his dark lashes fluttered. “Why would I fear you? You didn’t…”

  He shook his head, but I swore he had wanted to say more. My thumb caught his chin, and I brushed my lips over his. “You’re always safe with me, Cain. No matter what becomes of us.”

  Secrets and empty promises would not help me locate his sister, and I vowed to uncover what he had hidden, but sometimes secrets were unavoidable. Promises were also breakable, and I needed to stop making them to him. The pit of my stomach had already expected the worst about him. Bile churned and rose at the mere thought of anyone hurting Cain. Someone had, and involving himself with me would end in tears for them too. That promise was one I would keep.

  “I’d lie if I said let’s keep this professional.” I glanced out the upstairs window. A full moon rose on the eerie coastal horizon, lined by railroad tracks. “I can promise this isn’t a spell of my creation… there are limits to what I can do, Cain.” I shifted, meeting his attentive stare, and caressed his roughening cheek before halting and dropping my hand. “Something is happening between us.”

  “Why won’t you tell me?”

  Straining a smile, my hand rubbed the back of my neck.

  “You can trust me, Dorian,” he pressed.

  Trust remained a miniscule issue for me; like change, trust became a budding flower slowly opening over time. Trust hadn’t come easy and humanity more than demons were to blame. Over the centuries, I witnessed firsthand how men and women turned on one another. Burned alive, hung, stoned, and drowned… Mankind had tried to kill me to no avail. Priests, priestesses, courts, kings, and even lovers were all guilty of trying to master or slay Death. Why would he be any different?

  Cain kissed my forehead and fluttered his lashes again before leaning on my shoulder. Could he be different from the others who’d betrayed me in the past? No. Too soon to tell. “If you knew, you wouldn’t tell you either.” I shrugged.

  He shivered, and I guided him back to the couch, wrapping the wool blanket around his body, and busied myself with building a fire in the upstairs living room. Over my shoulder, I asked, “How old are you?”

  Chuckling, Cain stretched out on the sofa. “Couple of hundred decades give or take a few. I stopped counting after the war.”

  “Which war?” A smile played at my lips, and I glanced over my shoulder. Cain didn’t age a day over thirty. Eliouds stopped ageing around there. Wish I could have said the same without this guise, but in it, I passed for thirty-five.

  Cain groaned and his footsteps followed. He knelt beside me and shoved me aside. “What about you, handsome?” He balled paper, placing it under the wood, and struck a match.

  I snorted at the endearment and blew out the match by accident. “Older than the mountains and seas.” That had sounded better in my head.

  Laughing, he lit another match. My fingers danced over the glass shield as he held the flame
to the paper. A regular boy scout. Cain grasped my hand, intertwining our fingers together. Had I ever held another man’s hand? I could not remember.

  “You’re not just a warlock, are you?” I asked. Warlocks or witches often obtained eternal life by becoming vampires and losing their magic. Elioud could change, too, but they kept the magic. Few crossed over since they lived immortal lives, though.

  “This I like.” Cain swallowed hard and squeezed my hand. He added, “But I’m not ashamed of what I am.” Dark brows smashed together.

  I crossed my legs as he inched closer; our thighs touched. My head leaned on his shoulder, and I closed my eyes. The fire crackled, and the little space I called home became warm and inviting for the first time. For as long as this lasted, I vowed to enjoy the sensations he ignited around me. His scent filled my lungs, and opening my eyes, I licked my lips. Cain smirked and bent his head toward mine.

  He said, “I need control, or I tend to freak out.”

  “I didn’t mean to rush, or push you today.” If we became lovers, he had to understand I wasn’t like the southern demons. I would never have forced myself on him, or anyone for that matter. “I’m not… that kind of guy. Just tell me to stop—”

  “Stop.” Cain dragged me into his lap and hugged me.

  At first, I had stiffened but brought his head to my chest. Warmth radiated from my bones at the simple contact.

  “It’s just me...” He inched upward, kissing along my shirt. “It’s me, Dorian.”

  The whisper tickled my neck, but I loved how he said my name, as if I were something decadent. “Babe, I’m here if you want to talk about it.” People did that in relationships, right?

  Cain kissed my cheek, and I tilted my head. Kissing him reigned up there with everything else I had liked about him. The way his soft lips melded and moved, like an orchestra reaching its crescendo. Slow and sweet but building with passion and heat until fearing I would explode from the inside out. Cain drew his lips away too soon, and I frowned.