Safe in the Surgeon's Arms

by Molly Evans

  The restlessness that had been invading him all morning eased. Now that he’d seen Emily, seen her in her element, he could go on with his day in peace.

  With his heart somehow lighter, he walked out into the rain.

  * * *

  Chase got to work early the next morning, anticipating seeing Emily. The anticipation humming through him was a new yet familiar sensation but one he hadn’t experienced in some time. He felt happy, and for the moment peaceful.

  Patients seemed to whiz by him all day long until he felt a change in the atmosphere of the ER. It became heavy, serious, quiet. Uncomfortable.

  “What’s going on?” he asked Liz. As the charge nurse, she knew everything going on.

  “Rape victim came in from the university. Apparently, she went to an event last night on campus, but when she woke up this morning she had empty spots in her memory. She feels like she engaged in sex, but has no memory of it, and may have been raped.”

  “Oh, jeez.” Inside, Chase’s guts churned. “Do we have any female docs on right now? Who’s going to do the rape kit?”

  “No, I was going to see if you could help out. Emily’s in there with her now, doing the preliminaries.”

  “Emily? That’s not right. Isn’t there a way to find a woman to help out? I can do it, but she will probably be very uncomfortable with it.” This was not a road he wanted to go down unless absolutely necessary. Perhaps this was what Rose had talked about yesterday.

  Emily approached them, her face stoic, and she was a little pale. “I agree. There’s a SANE hotline number we can call and find someone to come in and perform the exam.”

  “Sane? What’s that?” Chase asked.

  “Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. I’ve taken my training, but haven’t tested yet, so I can’t officially do the exam, and not as a travel nurse. My company won’t let me.” She shifted her position from one foot to the other. “I can call the center. They always have someone on call who can come do the kit and collect evidence.”

  Chase nodded, and so did Liz. “Go ahead. Give them a call.”

  “We get this kind of patient so infrequently I don’t know if we have an official policy about it.”

  “It happens more than you know, so there should be a policy and one nurse on every shift who is the designated nurse for rape victims.” Emily offered the advice and it was good.

  “There’s no nice way to put that, is there?” Liz asked.

  “No. Sexual assault and rape are not nice things to put a nice label on, anyway,” Emily said, her face becoming pink and her eyes glittering with anger. “People need to be held accountable for their actions. Too often things like this are brushed aside as boys being boys, when it’s really an act of violence.”

  “If this upsets you, Liz will assign you to another patient,” Chase said, and kept his voice calm and clinical.

  “It’s not the patient that upsets me. It’s the lack of knowledge and the act itself that anger me.” She held onto the counter and took a few deep breaths. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t let my personal feelings affect my work.”

  “It’s a terrible thing for her,” Liz said. “Do you know if they will also do counseling? Can you set that up for her, as well?”

  “Yes, the SANE nurse will do preliminary assessment and then get her set up for further support.”

  “Boy, you know all kinds of stuff!” Liz said. “Good thing she ended up being your patient, or we might not have gotten her the right attention.”

  “I’m glad I’m with her, too.”

  “Let me make that call so I learn the process.” Liz stepped around the desk, and Emily faced Chase. The compassion in his eyes was almost her undoing, almost led to her falling apart when she couldn’t afford to and almost made her want to reach out to him.

  “Are you okay? This can’t be easy.” The energy coming off him was pulsating, almost as if it put its arms out to surround her with an energetic layer of protection.

  “I’m okay.” She nodded and took a deep breath. “I’m okay, but later I might need some down time.”

  “If you need to meditate, I’ll watch her for you.”

  “Thank you.” That spontaneous offer created a warm pulse in her chest and made her heart beat a little faster.

  “I know it hasn’t been easy on you these last few years, but you’ve come an amazingly long way.” His gaze dropped from hers for a second and then he looked at her, fierce and intent. “I want you to know I’m so proud of your accomplishments.”

  Her jaw dropped for a second, and her eyes went wide. “What?”

  “I want you to know I’m...proud of you, Em. You’re doing so much to help other women, and you’re so much stronger than you ever were.” His voice cracked with emotion and tears sprang to her eyes unexpectedly.

  “Thank you, Chase,” she whispered, and took a step back from him. She needed the distance, the distraction, the space between them or she was going to come unglued. “Please let me know when the SANE nurse is here. I’ll be sitting with the patient until then.”

  Turning, she hurried away from him and the emotions swirling around him or she was going to get sucked back into the vortex of the past.

  By the end of the shift Emily felt like someone had beaten her with a hammer. Every possible body part hurt, even her hair felt like it was on fire. The energy of holding back her emotions, keeping her past memories at bay was exhausting work. She gathered her belongings and headed out the door.

  “Can I talk to you?” Chase asked, hurrying to catch up to her in the parking lot.

  “Did I forget something?” As tired as she was, it wouldn’t have surprised her.

  “No, I just wanted to see you before you left.”

  “About what?” Puzzled, she stopped in the light of a streetlamp. From habit, she always was aware of her surroundings, never putting herself in a potentially dangerous situation by standing in the shadow.

  He fidgeted, ran his hand through his hair the way he did when something bothered him. “That patient today, the...the...”

  “The rape victim? You can say the word to me, Chase. It’s just a word.”

  “Okay, then, yes, the rape victim. I didn’t know how sensitive you were going to be about that, and I didn’t want to say anything if it was going to bother you.”

  “Bother me? What bothers me is people walking on eggshells around me, thinking I’m so fragile that one word will break me.” She turned and kept walking to her car. “That’s what bothers me.”

  Chase followed along. “I don’t know what to say to you sometimes. All I can think of is, ‘Will this bother you?’ or ‘Will that bother you?’ I’m trying to be considerate about this, but I don’t know what to do.”

  “I’m not fragile, and you just need to be yourself around me.” She paused and pushed her hair behind her ear. “I mean, if you want to be around me.”

  Without speaking, he closed the gap between them and put his arms around her shoulders, drawing her closer, slowly but firmly until their energies mingled and his chest pressed against hers. “I do, Em. I do want to be around you. So much it hurts.”

  With her defenses so low, that was all it took to break her. She huffed out a breath and took in another one and another that were sharp and short, and tears filled her eyes, her chest burned, and she cried out when she wrapped her arms around his middle. “Oh!”

  They stood that way, holding each other in the parking lot, while Emily cried. He felt the tremors in her body as her tears saturated his shirt, and he soothed her by stroking her shoulders and the back of her head, keeping his hands to the upper part of her body and offering her comfort the only way he knew how.

  “I hate this, you know?” She pulled back, sniffing.

  “What?” His voice was a whisper, and he tipped her face up to his.


  “Crying. Serves no purpose. I’d rather hit something.”

  “It’s a release, and one you apparently needed.” He pulled out his shirt to examine the wet splotches on the left shoulder area. “I’m happy to be your handkerchief.”

  “Oh, stop,” she said, and frowned, then a laugh bubbled up inside her. “Just stop.”

  “Or, what, you’ll laugh? How tragic is that?” Smiling, he gave her another nudge.

  “Chase!” The giggles seemed to have a life of their own and took over her body as she wiped the heels of her hands against her eyes, smearing her mascara down her face. “Oh, my God, I can’t stop.” She turned away from him and kept moving to her car, but it didn’t help. The laughter followed her.

  The man kept following her and the grin on his face was something she thought she’d never be happy to see again, but she was and it was beautiful.

  “Don’t stop, Emily, don’t ever stop.”

  “Stop...what?” She pressed a knuckle to her mouth and bit on it, hoping to stop the cascade of giggles with pain, but it wasn’t working.

  “Don’t ever stop laughing, finding joy in the little things, the stupid things in life. They matter.”

  And that was what stopped her laughter. “I did. For a long time, I did.” Taking another shaky breath, she began to get control of herself again.

  “I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me to—”

  “You okay, miss?” A security guard pulled up in a white van.

  “Uh, yeah, I’m okay,” Emily said, and took a step back from Chase. And then another.

  “Okay. Parking areas can be dangerous, so I’d like to see you safely in your vehicle.”

  “Thanks, anyway. I think I’ve got it from here.” She waved him away.

  “If you say so,” he said, and pulled away to patrol elsewhere.

  “Emily, will you go out with me?” Chase asked, and his brows rose, like he hadn’t meant to ask that question.

  “Will I go out with you?” Was he serious?

  “Yes.”

  “Like on a date?”

  “Yes, like on a date.” The smile that moved his mouth sideways had always been a heart-killer for her and it was no less forceful on her now. “Friday. I’m in surgery all day tomorrow, but Friday would work.”

  “That’s like in two days.” An eager trembling began in her stomach. Anticipation filled her even though she hadn’t said yes yet.

  “It is. I’ll pick you up at five, we’ll go have dinner in Virginia Beach, then take a walk by the ocean, watch the sunset.”

  “Chase...” she began, not sure how to handle this situation. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she didn’t want to hurt herself, either, then she remembered a previous engagement. “Actually, I have an event Friday night. There’s a fundraiser for the rape crisis center. I go every year.”

  “I see.” A mask covered his face. “I could go with you.”

  “I already have a date.” Squeal. She did, but it wasn’t what he thought it was.

  “I see,” he said again, looking closed and distant.

  She couldn’t mislead him on purpose. “Okay, so Danny is my date, all right? Maybe another time. Like Saturday night?”

  “I will hold you to that,” he said, and the expression on his face changed, his eyes glittering with something she couldn’t identify. It wasn’t sneaky or sinister, but there was definitely something going on in that brilliant mind of his.

  “Okay. Okay.” She quickly unlocked her car, got in and locked it again. She had to get away from him before she did something stupid. Something out of character. Something wild and wanton. Her body began to hum as she drove home, still charged from the contact she’d had with his body. Although it had just been a hug, it hadn’t been just a hug, and they both knew it.

  It had been the beginning of something she wasn’t sure she wanted, but wasn’t sure she didn’t want either. The next time they were together could be combustible, and she had to prepare herself for it before it swept her away.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  FRIDAY ARRIVED AND Emily spent half the day congratulating herself on maintaining her dignity and the other half berating herself for not inviting Chase back to her place for the night. What had been there between them in the past had been good. Not perfect, they’d had their issues, but they’d liked and respected each other, and that had been the basis for their relationship.

  She went to the studio to work out the angst and sexual hunger that had kept her awake for half the night. That worked, then she’d showered, eaten a light snack and now waited for Danny to pick her up in his hopefully clean car. Their parents would meet them at the hotel ballroom. They had been pillars of support for her in her recovery and had been staunch volunteers at the rape crisis center ever since. Although they’d never been involved in an organization like that, there was only one way they could see to give back to the people who had saved their daughter’s life. With their time.

  With a last look in the mirror, she declared herself fit to go to a black-tie event. Her hair had been spiked to perfection and sprayed a bit, the tips blonde, the base auburn, and it suited her but made her look a bit like a pixie. The makeup she had applied was subdued with just a dash of sparkle at the corners of her eyes and cheekbones.

  The only really good piece of jewelry she’d indulged in was a large black pearl she’d found at an estate sale and it hung now on a delicate silver chain around her neck. The pearl itself lay perfectly between her breasts, which looked more voluptuous than they really were thanks to a lacy push-up bra. Once in a while she indulged in the feminine and enjoyed it thoroughly, when it was safe for her to do so. When she could just be herself, she enjoyed herself more.

  The dress had been a find at a vintage store. It had been an indulgence, but she didn’t care. She felt beautiful in it and that was enough reason to wear it. The black lace bustier hugged her torso and cupped her breasts as if it had been made for her. The skirt fell in flirtatious waves of satin past her knees to a respectable tea-length, mid-calf. When she spun around the dress moved with her, the skirt flaring out and making her feel like she’d been thrown back in time to when dancing had been an art form.

  Danny knew she loved to dance and would be her partner until the band quit playing or they dropped dead from exhaustion.

  Little black bag. Check.

  Lipstick. Check.

  Little black shawl. Check.

  Keys, a little cash and her ID. Check, check, check.

  She was ready, just waiting for Danny. When the doorbell rang promptly at six, she was surprised. For him to be ten minutes late was not usual. For him to be exactly on time was a miracle.

  She grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. “You’re really on time...”

  Chase stood in her doorway.

  In a tux and her jaw dropped.

  She’d never seen him look more handsome. Ever. Ever. Ever.

  “Good evening, Emily.” Even his voice sounded husky and sexier than she’d ever known it.

  The hair on her arms and the back of her neck stood straight up, a flash of desire shot straight to her groin and her mouth went dry. “What are you doing here?”

  “We should get going, or we’ll be late. Traffic can be a bear when there’s a football game at the university, and we have to pass by there to get to the hotel.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.” That was true, but she still proceeded as if she were going somewhere with him.

  “I know.” He stepped forward and escorted her out the door, then took her keys, locked the door and placed the keys into her purse. “I’ll tell you on the way.”

  Dumbfounded, Emily allowed him to lead her down the stairs to the parking lot and to a very shiny black limo. Squee! The
driver stood beside the back door and held it open, an enigmatic smile on his face. “Evening, miss.”

  “Good evening.” The only proper way she knew to get into a vehicle in formal attire was to sit, then swing her legs inside, à la Marilyn Monroe, Hollywood style. A ridiculous giggle erupted in her throat. She felt like a movie star!

  Chase entered right behind her and settled so he could look at her.

  “You look stunning, Emily. Absolutely stunning.” His gaze traveled over her body, and he gave an appreciative whistle.

  “Yes, well, thank you.” Nervous when the car moved forward, she tried to tuck her hair behind her ear, but it wasn’t long enough to tuck. “You don’t look half-bad yourself.” Indeed, the black tux against the crisp white shirt was just devastating to her senses, as was the cologne he wore. It was her favorite, and he knew it. He’d always worn it when he’d wanted to tempt and tease her, torment her senses. It worked now as well. She was definitely tempted.

  “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Soft, soothing music began to play in the vehicle. Chase handed her a champagne glass and reached for the bottle she hadn’t seen until now.

  “Yes. Your brother couldn’t make it, so he asked me if I would give you a ride.”

  “Some ride.” Her eyes widened as suspicion mounted.

  “Isn’t it, though?” He poured champagne halfway up the glass, then poured some in another for himself. He clinked her glass with his. “Cheers.”

  “What happened? He arranged to have tonight off weeks ago.” She’d nagged him until he had, too, or he’d have forgotten.

  “Apparently, one of the guys was hurt, and he’s covering an extra couple of shifts to help out. This happened to be one of them. Unfortunate, don’t you think?” Chase raised his glass and drank, but kept his sparkling gaze on her.

  “Terribly. Lucky for me you could fall on your sword and sacrifice yourself for the good of others, right?” Emily drank from the glass and let the tiny bubbles work their magic on her anxiety at seeing Chase in such a surprising manner. Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest and a flush seemed to overcome her body. Maybe it was the effects of the champagne, though she’d only had a sip, or maybe it was Chase, but either way it was exhilarating. Living in the moment had its benefits.