Thai Shorts

by Lilburne, Guy

  16th April

  Dear Diary, The queen launched the Royal Yacht Britannia at John Brown & Company shipbuilders on the Clyde today. The times reported that she is to have her coronation in June. I will be in Siam then, but today that feels like a long time away. Everyday feels like a month. Every day I look at the photograph of Madam Rose and I wonder if I am falling in love with her. I hope she will find myself agreeable.

  24th April

  Dear Diary, the Prime Minister Winston Churchill received a knighthood from the Queen today. He is back in father’s good books and my father says that Sir Winston Churchill is one of the greatest Englishmen of all time. I would have to agree.

  2nd May

  Dear Diary, Today was a wonderful day and I believe that I have just watched the most exciting football match that the world will ever see. I watched the match live on the BBC on the television. It was the FA cup final from Wembley stadium and was contested between Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers. Blackpool won a thrilling game 4-3. It is the third time that Blackpool has made it to the final in the last six years. I have decided to support them from now on. I do not believe that any team will ever match their consistency in the modern game. The winger for Blackpool is a man called Stanley Matthews and I do declare that he has magic in his feet. He is 38 years old and he dances past men half his age. I think I prefer football to rugby. Even father watched the match and he sat on the edge of his chair throughout!

  9th May

  Dear Diary, The Times has reported that France has agreed to the provisional independence of Cambodia with King Norodom Sihanouk. I read this with great interest because Cambodia is next to Siam and somehow it made me feel closer to Madam Rose. I have already started packing for the trip which is now only less than a month away. I am using father’s suitcase, which has already travelled to India and to the United States of America. Mother bought two new books for me to take on my trip. The first is the new book by Agatha Christie called After the Funeral and features the Belgium detective Hercule Poirot. The second book is by a new author called Ian Fleming and is called Casino Royale and features a spy called James Bond. I have already started reading Casino Royale. It’s a gripping story.

  1st June

  Dear Diary, The day I seem to have been waiting for forever finally arrived. I flew from Heathrow with B.O.A.C (British Overseas Airways Corporation) on an Avro York aeroplane. I watched the four propellers start up and before I knew it we were accelerating along Number One runway and then up into the clouds. We stopped at Bombay in India for the aeroplane to refuel and restock and that allowed us all to stretch our legs for an hour and have a coffee and something to eat. I didn’t eat. I was already half way through Casino Royale and I continued to read that. It really is a splendid book. By the time we arrived at Don Muang International Airport in Bangkok it was already the early hours of 2nd June. Uncle Ernest was there to meet me but, to my great disappointment, Madam Rose was not! Uncle Ernest informed me that she was at home sleeping and I would meet her in the morning. We drove across Bangkok to Uncle Ernest’s home. Bangkok looked like a very impressive city. There are lots of fine brick-built two story buildings as well as the traditional timber built houses on stilts and there are many splendid temples that tower above everything else. Most of the people seem to live in the shacks that are all over the city. My Uncle’s home was surrounded by brick wall topped with wrought iron fencing, which reminded me of the parks in London and was very pleasing on the eye. His house is brick built in old colonial style with touches of oriental decoration. He has made his money in exporting Asian artefacts to America.

  2nd June

  Dear Diary, Last night I slept soundly although I was extremely hot. Even the wooden ceiling fan couldn’t cool me and the bed was wet with perspiration when I awoke. The heat in Bangkok is like nothing I have ever experienced. When you breathe the air actually warms up your lungs. I washed myself from the vase of water supplied in my very own bathroom and, after dressing, I went down for breakfast. Uncle Ernest and Madam Rose were waiting at the table out on the porch for me. Madam Rose is even more beautiful than in her photo. Her eyes are the darkest brown and when she smiles it is as if the whole world stands still. I had thought so many times about what I would say to her, but when it came to it, I was too awkward and shy to say anything. Uncle Ernest took me to his place of business after breakfast and I met many people from Siam. They talk in such a funny language and so quickly, but they smile a lot and seem like a very friendly people.

  The coronation of Queen Elizabeth II took place today back in London but somehow it didn’t seem so important to me anymore. Uncle Ernest is travelling up to Chiang Mai tomorrow on business and told me that Madam Rose will look after me for the next few days. I am excited about the prospect of spending time with her. I hope we will become big friends. I finished the book, but I won’t tell you what happens as I would not want to spoil the reading experience for anyone. It is well worth the 10s.6d price tag and I would highly recommend it. I hope Mr Fleming writes more James Bond stories.

  3rd June

  Dear Diary, Uncle Ernest had already left for Chiang Mai by the time I went down for breakfast. Madam Rose was waiting at the table for me. I believe that she too had risen later than usual today for she was clothed in only a white silk robe, which only enhanced the beauty of her tanned skin. Several times over breakfast I saw a flash of dark nipple as it gaped open when she leant forward to reach items from the breakfast table. I found the experience altogether arousing and I had to sit at the table until Madam Rose had left for fear that she would see my arousal. Madam Rose dressed in the finest American clothes and looked very modern and stylish. She took me for lunch at the Oriental Hotel on the riverside. There are only six hotels in Bangkok and the Oriental hotel is the only first class hotel. Madam Rose drove me there in her new Sunbeam Talbot 90, a very splendid car. I saw more of the city and I found a strange comfort in seeing big signs on some of the buildings for Kodak and Coca Cola and such like. She introduced me to her Siamese lady friends, who I must say all looked lovely and were all absolutely charming to me. Madam Rose speaks perfect English with a slight American accent, which I find quite endearing, but when she speaks to her friends in Siamese she speaks quickly and excitedly. Whatever she says must be very interesting and funny, because everyone nods and laughs a lot. I couldn’t help wondering if any of her conversation was about me. On the way home in the car she told me that her friends and herself all thought that I was a handsome man.

  4th June

  Dear Diary, Today Madam Rose asked me how old I was. I told her that I was seventeen and a half and she laughed, but it was a nice laugh. I think that she liked that I was this age. She told me that she was forty years of age. I thought that she was a lot younger. She asked me if I liked tattoos and I said that I had not really thought about it. She informed me that she had a tattoo and told me that she would show it to me one day. I had never thought about tattoos before, but now I cannot stop thinking about them. Well, Madam Rose’s tattoo anyway. I wonder if she will really show me and when?

  5th June

  Dear Diary. Today was a disappointing day. It started splendidly with breakfast and Madam Rose in her silk gown, but after breakfast she went out and didn’t tell me where she was going. I spent most of the day reading Agatha Christie, but thinking of Madam Rose. It was thinking of Madam Rose and not reading Agatha Christie that aroused me so much that my body was aching. I found some relief at my own hand in the bathroom.

  6th June

  Dear Diary, Uncle Ernest arrived back home today and he brought me a wooden elephant from Chiang Mai. He told me that it would bring me good luck and great fortune! I was grateful for the gift, but saddened by his return. I no longer had Madam Rose to myself and I felt as if I had lost something.

  The Epsom Derby was won by a horse called Pinza. It was the only Derby winner for
Gordon Richards at his 28th attempt, just days after becoming the only jockey to be made a knight. The Queens horse, Aureole, finished second.

  10th June

  Dear Diary, I haven’t spent much time with Madam Rose over the last few days because Uncle Ernest has been taking me to his place of business with him, but today I told him that I would rather stay at home because I wanted to finish the book that I was reading. I also told him that I wanted to write an essay about Bangkok and I could more usefully spend my time doing some research. He thought that it was a splendid idea. I felt guilty about lying to him, but I wanted to spend my time with Madam Rose. I had also noticed that when Uncle Ernest was at home she was dressed for breakfast. I asked him if he had any more business trips planned and I was delighted when he replied that he had a trip planned next week to go up to Udon Thani in the north-east of Siam.

  13th June

  Dear Diary, Madam Rose was dressed in a cream coloured skirt and blouse at breakfast today and she looked amazing. I have the feeling that she looks at me more and more and I don’t think it is just my imagination. She smiles at me a lot too and then flicks her eyes towards Uncle Ernest to see if he has caught her smiling, but he never does. It is as if we are sharing a rather delicious secret, but I am not quite sure what it is!

  15th June

  Dear Diary, Today was probably the best day of my entire life. Madam Rose and Uncle Ernest were waiting at the breakfast table for me. Madam Rose was wearing a white dress, which was buttoned up the front with pearl beads. After Uncle had left for work she asked me if I wanted to see her tattoo. I couldn’t find the words to offer a reply, but I found myself nodding. She walked around the table to me and her high heels clicked on the polished wooden floor. She stood at the side of me and leant down and started unbuttoning her dress from the hem. She undid each button and just kept smiling at me. She kept unbuttoning until I could see her stocking tops and then another button and I could see her black lace panties. I could see a wisp of pubic hair through her panties and I suddenly realised that I hadn’t actually breathed since she started unbuttoning. I gasped a life-saving breath. She put one foot on my chair between my legs and turned her leg. There on her left thigh above her stocking top was the tattoo. It was a butterfly in vivid colours of red, yellow and green. It was beautiful. She asked me if I liked it and again I could only nod my answer. She took my hand and ran my fingers up along her stocking leg. The nylon was smooth and fine, then she brushed my fingers over the top of her stocking onto her cool smooth skin and onto the butterfly. She asked me if I liked the butterfly and this time I managed the word yes. She laughed and buttoned her dress up again. Finding a sexual relief at my own hand had become a daily exercise and today was no exception. I had the feeling that Madam Rose knew how she was making me feel and I wonder what is going to happen between us. This feels very wrong, but I cannot find the strength of character I would require to stop it.

  17th June

  Dear Diary, There is a workers uprising in East Germany and the Soviet Union has sent another division of troops into East Germany to quell the rebellion. I only write about this because it is news, but now the only thing that matters to me is Madam Rose. This afternoon Madam Rose asked the maid to bring us tea in the sitting room as usual, but when the maid had left the room Madam Rose instructed me to take her tea up to her room when it arrived. She wanted to take a nap. I waited less than patiently for the tea to arrive and then took the wooden tray up to Madam Rose’s bedroom. Madam Rose and Uncle Ernest had separate bedrooms, but shared the bathroom that connected the two rooms. I knocked on the bedroom and she called me inside. She was sitting at her dresser combing her long black hair in the oversized gold framed mirror that sat on the other side of the dresser. Her bedroom was as exquisite as she was. She had undressed and was now only wearing a white lacy bra and matching panties and dark stockings. Her body was perfect, smooth and slim. The cups on the tray started rattling and I blushed. I don’t know if I blushed because I was looking at her in this state of undress, or because I couldn’t keep the tray still as a result of the sight I was beholding. The reason didn’t matter, the outcome was the same. I was bright red and shaking.

  She asked me to brush her hair for her as she drank her tea. I tried but my hand was shaking so much I was making the brush pull on her hair. She just smiled at me in the mirror. She turned around and put her hand on my swollen penis. I felt her gently squeezing me. She asked me if I was a virgin. I had never expected anyone to ask me such a question. My mind raced to think of an answer that would make me sound more experienced than the truth, but I couldn’t think of one. The only words that came out of my trembling, twitching lips were ‘yes, sorry’. She laughed again and removed her hand. I wished her hand would have stayed longer, but I denied the urge to grab it and put it back. She thanked me for the tea and for brushing her hair and dismissed me so she could take her nap.

  18th June

  Dear Diary, Madam Rose asked me if I masturbated. I found it strangely easy to reply with the truth. She asked me where I did it and I told her that the bathroom was my usual place of choice. She asked me if I think about her when I do it and I nodded my reply. Then she asked me what I think and I told her that I think about her body, about her tattoo, about her underwear, about seeing her naked and about making love to her. She laughed again and for the first time her laughter made me feel foolish. I thought that the conversation was going to lead to something more, but it didn’t.

  20th June

  Dear Diary, Uncle Ernest returned home again today and I feel a great guilt. I wonder if he can sense the secrets that Madam Rose and myself now share. I think he can see it in my eyes and I try to avoid looking at him. If Madam Rose feels any guilt then she is a fine actress, because there is no sign whatsoever and I look for a sign all the time.

  23rd June

  Dear Diary, The Prime Minister, Winston Churchill 78, has had a stroke at a dinner for the Italian Prime Minister Alcide De Gasperi. It is indeed shocking news and it wrestled my thoughts away from my love affair with Madam Rose.

  25th June

  Dear Diary, John Christie, a 54 year old man from London was sentenced to death for the murder of his wife Ethel Christie. A total of eight bodies were found at Christie’s home, 10 Rillington Place in Notting Hill, including those of the wife and daughter of Timothy Evans, who was hanged in 1950 for their murders. I think that Madam Rose’s feelings have cooled towards me. She has been spending more of her time away from home with no explanation. It is driving me crazy. There is a lot in the world that I am yet to understand.

  27th June

  Dear Diary, This afternoon after tea Madam Rose dismissed the maid and requested that I assist her to bathe. I didn’t know how I could assist and I asked her what I should do. She laughed her usual laugh and told me that I would wash her back of course. I followed her up to her bedroom and I watched as she undressed in front of me. She had no shame and no embarrassment. I followed her into the bathroom and I washed her back as she sat in the warm bath. If I were braver I would have touched her breasts, but I am not brave and I didn’t. She asked me if I would masturbate today and I said that I would. She asked if I would think about her in the bath and I said undoubtedly.

  28th June

  Dear Diary, The maid was dismissed again this afternoon and I was again taken to Madam Rose’s bedroom to watch her undress before we went into the bathroom. When she was naked she told me to take my clothes off. I did and she watched me. She made no pretence and she looked at my penis for the longest time. She smiled and I felt more relaxed. She told me that today she was going to wash me. She took me into the bathroom and washed my body back and front with soapy fingers. She looked at my swollen penis without comment and then took it in her hand and massaged it. She asked me if I wanted to feel something better than her hand. I nodded and she took me in her mouth. It felt wet and warm and
to my great shame I climaxed almost immediately. I was expecting her to laugh but it didn’t come. She just smiled and said it was okay. Next time would be better. I hung onto her words. Next time, next time. There was going to be a next time and it was going to be better.

  10th July

  Dear Diary, I’m still waiting for ‘next time’ but it hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know what I have done wrong but Madam Rose is showing no interest in me again. I feel very confused.

  15th July

  Dear Diary, John Christie was hanged at Pentonville Prison today and a crowd of some 200 people stood to wait for the notice of execution to be posted. I can’t help but wonder if he experienced the same sort of despair that I am experiencing - he because he was facing death and myself because of Madam Rose. Maybe death would be a kind release from this love that is torturing my heart. Sometimes I am sure that she is in love with me and other times it is as if I do not exist.

  18th July

  Dear Diary, The ‘next time’ happened today. Madam Rose and I were in the study. Madam Rose was reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck. I had a book open, but in truth I was not reading it. My eyes kept looking at Madam Rose’s legs. If I leaned forward just the slightest amount I could see her stocking tops. It is such a wonderful sight. Madam Rose caught me looking up her skirt several times, but she wasn’t in the least angry. She just smiled and kept on reading Mr. Steinbeck’s novel. After what must have been several more chapters, she closed the book and walked over to the grand piano. I had not heard anyone play it since I had arrived and I doubted that anyone did, but it was highly polished and a beautiful piece of furniture. It filled the space in front of the bay window.