Keeping Quinn: The Next Generation

by Edwards, Riley

  “I’ll walk you out.”

  “No, baby, you stay and enjoy your Emma fix. I know you’ve been missing her.”

  “I have but I can give her up for a few minutes.”

  “Jackson wants to talk to me,” I sighed.

  “Brice—”

  “Quinn, stay inside with your family and let me deal with it.”

  “But—”

  I brushed a lock of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Have I told you, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Have I told you how much I love you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have I told you how much I’m gonna miss you while I’m at work?” Quinn nodded. “Good. Now trust me to handle Jackson. I want you in the house enjoying your family worry-free. Jason’s gonna be watching; if there’re any issues, he’ll step in.”

  Her cute frown was set to stubborn so she surprised me when she gave in.

  “Okay.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Love you. Be safe.”

  “Always. Now kiss me so I can go.”

  Quinn rolled her eyes but lifted her mouth so I could kiss her.

  “Love you.”

  When I made it outside, Jackson was leaning up against my truck with a face full-on angry.

  Not a good sign and not the way I wanted to leave.

  “Thought about what you said,” he started. “I’m still pissed as fuck at you. But you were right about Quinn. Thought you’d want to know I’m gonna talk to her.”

  “That’d be good.”

  Jackson hadn’t moved so obviously he had more to say. I was running short on time but since he’d been my closest friend for a lot of years, I figured I owed it to him.

  “Just have one question.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Is she worth all this?”

  “She’s worth everything.”

  “Worth the end of our friendship?” Jackson continued and I ground down on my molars fighting for patience.

  “You’re my best friend so you have to know it fucking pains me to say this, but, brother, she is not only worth it, but if you’re standing here asking me to choose between her and you I’d pick her every day of the goddamned week and I’d do it pissed as shit at you for making me. But make no mistake—I pick Quinn. Now I gotta get to work.”

  Jackson pushed off my truck angrier than he was before, which made my gut churn knowing I was leaving Quinn to that.

  “One last thing.” I looked back to Jackson and saw Jasper, Levi, Lenox, and Jackson’s dad, Clark, standing not too far away. Fucking perfect. So much for the warm welcome into the family. “I think it goes without saying, but while you’re having your chat with my woman, you’ll check your fucking anger toward me and you’ll remember who you’re talking to.”

  “Don’t need the reminder,” he snapped.

  “I think you do, because the last two times we’ve spoken about her you seemed to have forgotten. And I suppose I was right about that, too. It’s eatin’ at your gut. Quinn loves you, she’s devastated that you’ve shut her out and I hope you mend that. Be as pissed as you want at me, but she doesn’t deserve to be served up a bunch of shit when she’s done nothing wrong.”

  “She lied—”

  “No, she didn’t. Her not telling you that she and I started something up isn’t lying. We were figuring our shit out, something that both of us deserved to do in private. We’ve figured it out. Everyone knows. Neither of us are hiding a damn thing from anyone.”

  Jackson’s jaw got tight. His stubborn ass was fighting a losing corner and he knew it. My gaze moved beyond Jackson to the four men standing behind him, and with jerk of my chin I swung into my truck.

  I made it to the stop sign at the end of the street before I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Quinn.

  Me: Love you, baby. Call me after you talk to Jackson.

  Quinn: Will do.

  It took the rest of the drive to work for me to stop being pissed at Jackson and even longer to stop being mad at myself. All of this was my fuck-up, I should’ve handled it differently. And at the end of the day I was to blame.

  If Jackson couldn’t forgive me, it was going to suck to lose him as a friend.

  23

  “Happy looks good on my girl.”

  I turned from the sink full of dishes and looked at my mom.

  “Thanks, Mama.”

  “I like the way he talks to you. But more I like the way he looks at you—like he’s never seen a more beautiful girl. Or maybe he can’t believe you’re his.”

  “He’s…he’s…”

  “He’s what, sweets?”

  “Everything.”

  “If that’s the case, why do you look so scared?”

  I wasn’t surprised my mom had picked up on my fear. Emily Walker could read her children. If my dad was the protector of the family’s physical wellbeing, mom was all things emotional.

  “Because I am.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it seems too good to be true. Everything’s perfect and when I say that, I mean perfect. We just click. We fell into this comfortable relationship. It was easy. I don’t know, then we had dinner with you and Dad and suddenly I realized there was something missing, and what was missing was a deeper connection and I wasn’t sure I could continue as things were. But Brice wasted no time fixing it. He came straight out he wanted that connection, too, why he’d held back, then he told me he’d fallen in love with me and bam, we were back to easy, comfortable, and perfect.”

  My mom was smiling like a loon yet at the same time she shook her head like I was nuts.

  “And I take it you’ve shared with him that you love him.”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “So you’re scared because you think it’s too easy?”

  “Yes,” I hissed. “It’s happening so fast. It’s like I’m waiting for a shoe to drop or some big drama. What if he changes his mind? Or what if he decides—”

  “Quinn, falling in love is the easy part. It’s fun and exciting and scary. It should make your heart race, leave you breathless, and make all of the common sense you thought you had fly out the window. It’s all the rest that’s hard. But, sweetheart, sometimes perfect is just perfect. There’s no such thing as falling too fast when two people are right for each other. The first time I saw your father he stole my breath, my common sense, and my heart.”

  I loved that my mom found that with my dad, and even after all these years, she still got a dreamy faraway look when she spoke about him. I also knew they hadn’t had it easy. The falling in love part—maybe—but they’d had to fight for the rest.

  “So you don’t think I’m crazy? I mean, for falling for him so quickly?”

  “Sweet girl, I think your whole life you’ve done things your way at your speed. You were my wild child—fearless and determined to suck every last drop out of life. Why would I think when you finally fell in love it would be any different?”

  “So you think I’m crazy,” I surmised.

  “No. I think you’re you and you’re perfect. But what matters is what you think, what you feel, and what you know to be true. I’m going to give you one piece of advice—when in doubt, listen to your heart. Your head can be telling you one thing, logical things, but in this case, when it comes to Brice—listen to your heart.”

  “Thanks.”

  My mom pulled me into a hug and gave me a squeeze. “You never have to thank me for loving you. I’m happy for you, really, really happy.”

  “Sorry to interrupt, but may I speak to Quinn a minute?”

  My body froze hearing Jackson’s question and my mom gave me another reassuring tight embrace.

  “Sure. Go on. I’ll finish the dishes.”

  Jackson headed to the back door and trepidation hit. I didn’t want to argue with him but I did want to clear the air. I hated he was mad, but more hurt he couldn’t be happy for me. I f
ollowed Jackson out to my parents’ patio, and when I shut the door, five men stared at us—none of them hiding the fact they were studiously watching. My brother made his way to the window, no doubt to watch. Brice had warned me Jason would be sticking close and he was.

  Damn, I loved my big brother.

  “Just let me get this out,” Jackson started and I immediately went on the defensive.

  “I’m not sure I want to—”

  “Please, Quinn. Just let me say what I have to say.”

  “Fine.”

  Jackson’s posture was stiff and his features set to hard, a look I’d never seen directed my way. And now that it was it didn’t feel so good.

  “Sorry. I’m being bitchy and rude.”

  “Nothing I didn’t expect.” Jackson’s lips twitched and my eyes narrowed.

  “Are you calling me bitchy?” I snapped.

  “No.” Jackson grinned and relaxed. “But I do know you. I knew you weren’t going to let me apologize without giving me some sort of attitude.”

  “Say what?”

  “I’m sorry I was a dick.”

  Speechless.

  Jackson chuckled and continued, “I’m not gonna make excuses but I need to give you an explanation. The truth is, Brice is a good guy, my best friend, the only person other than you I confide in. I’m not saying I’m happy how shit started between the two of you, but that’s because you mean a lot to me, and it burns my gut thinking about all the ways that could’ve gone bad and you could’ve been hurt. Then where did that leave me? Right in the middle. Took me a minute but I realize that way of thinking is selfish, but there it is. I can’t lose either of you. There’s nothing I want more than to see both of you happy. Fuck, for years I’ve watched Brice hoping—waiting—for him to pull his head out of his ass and realize not all women are like his brother’s ex bitch—”

  “It turns out what Brice thought had happened between Bryan and Lucy, didn’t really happen.”

  Jackson jolted before he smiled. “He told you about Lucy?”

  “Yeah. Things got a little twisted between us.” Jackson’s smile faded and I reconsidered sharing. “Can you handle hearing this? I won’t lie to you. I’ll tell you everything, but bottom line is I’m happy, so if my sharing changes that apology into an ‘I told you so’, I might punch you in the gut.”

  “I wanna know everything,” he told me.

  “Then take a seat because we have a lot to catch up on.”

  Jackson didn’t smile, not outright. But I did see a hint of a grin before he sat and I launched into the story about how I landed Brice Lancaster—reformed hot guy firefighter and reformed man-whore.

  “Damn. Your dad was right—you played Brice.” Jackson smiled at his feet.

  “I didn’t play him,” I denied.

  “Quinn. You totally did. And it was the only way you were ever going to break through. Part of why I was mad was because Brice never made promises, he didn’t do exclusive.”

  “He hasn’t been with anyone else,” I defended.

  “I know he hasn’t. And it makes me want to gag a little as I say this, but Brice may’ve been screwed up when it came to women, but he’s not dumb. He knew what he had in his bed waiting for him and there was no way he was going to fuck that up. Not with you.”

  “Thanks, jerk.”

  “I’m not talking about sex. You’re not gonna talk about sex. No one’s gonna ever talk about sex. I’m talking about you—just you—having you to come home to. Giving him time to get his head sorted without pushing. No hassle. No bullshit.”

  That wasn’t entirely true. Brice was coming home to some really awesome sex but I did give him some hassle.

  “I think you’re forgetting about the part where I got in his face about needing more and him taking off.”

  “You played that right, too,” Jackson told me. “He needed the kick in the ass.”

  “You don’t think he came back to me because he was tweaked I saw that guy get murdered and I was—”

  “No. Get this shit out of your head. When I saw Brice at the station, he looked torn up and he had no idea what had happened.” Jackson went silent for a minute before his eyes locked onto mine, and much like when Hadley had her words with me, I braced. “If Brice says he loves you—he loves you—and you can believe that to be the God’s honest truth. I’ve known him a long time. And when I say I confide in him, he confides in me as well. And never has he been in love, which means he’s never said those words to another woman.”

  So Hadley had been right—Jackson was upset and worried about being forced to choose a side if shit went bad between Brice and me.

  And my mom was right—sometimes perfect is just perfect.

  The fear started to ease.

  “So, are we good?” I asked Jackson.

  “I am if you are.”

  “I’m good.” I hesitated to bring it up but I had to. “And you and Brice?”

  “As long as he keeps making you happy we’ll get there.”

  That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but it was something. And really I wasn’t worried, I knew Brice would continue to make me happy, therefore I knew everything would work out between the two of them but I still needed to say something.

  “He needs you, Jackson. Please remember that.”

  “Right,” Jack mumbled and looked over his shoulder into the house before he squinted and turned back to me. “What the fuck is going on with Hadley and Brady?”

  Oh, shit.

  I pinched my lips as tight as I could but it was no use—the giggle bubbled up until it broke free and I had to hold my stomach I was shaking so hard with laughter.

  Damn, that felt good.

  Just like old times.

  24

  The vibe in the truck couldn’t be ignored. The closer we got to our destination the tenser Quinn became.

  “What’s on your mind, babe?”

  Quinn let out a sigh and I squeezed her thigh.

  “Sorry. I have a lot on my mind.”

  “I hope you’re not worried about my family. They’re gonna love you.”

  “I’m a little nervous but I’m thinking more about the trial starting.”

  I was still annoyed the call had come that afternoon right before we’d loaded the truck up to head to Savannah. The judge had denied Allen’s latest attempt to postpone, so the trial was set to start next week. Thankfully it started on my day off so I didn’t need to take a vacation to attend. The DA had been clear; Quinn’s attendance was only necessary one day and she’d only be called back to testify if the jury or the judge needed further clarification.

  “It will only be a few hours of your day then you’re done and you can put it behind you.”

  “I know you’re right. But I’ve stopped dreaming about him and I’m scared that seeing him will make the nightmares start again.”

  I was glad Quinn confirmed what I thought I knew. She hadn’t woken up with another nightmare since the week of the lineup, and part of me had been worried she was keeping them a secret. Or worse, she was struggling to sleep when I was on shift. Something I never asked about because I didn’t want to draw attention to it. But now I wondered if I’d fucked up by not mentioning it.

  “You don’t talk about it and I wasn’t sure if I should push,” I told her honestly.

  “I’m glad you’re not. My family’s doing what they do and that’s hovering. Which I get and I love them for it. But sometimes it feels like everyone’s making too big of a deal about it.”

  “Babe—”

  “Seriously, Brice. I saw something horrible. But it didn’t happen to me, I didn’t get hurt. I’m not the one dead. I feel bad for the man’s family, they’re the ones going through something hard. Every day lots of people see bad things. At first I was shocked and scared. Then when I had to do the lineup, I was even more scared because I didn’t want to see him. But now, I’m fine. I’m dealing with it and I’m okay. I’d be able to move on faster if everyone wasn’t up in
my face about it reminding me I acted like a baby when it happened.”

  “First, no one thinks you acted like a baby. Cut yourself some slack, you didn’t see a mugging—you watched a murder. I don’t give the first fuck what other people see or go through, and that’s not me being a heartless prick, that’s me only being concerned with what you’re going through. Talking about it doesn’t make you weak. Admitting you’re scared doesn’t make you a baby. And processing what happened doesn’t make you anything other than you. You taking time to sort your head so you can move on. There’s no rush, no time limit. But what you need to remember is, there are a bunch of people around you who love you and have all the time in the world to listen when you need to vent. Use us, Quinn.”

  “You know why I’m not struggling?” I felt Quinn shift in her seat and I wished I wasn’t driving so I could give her my full attention.

  “Why, baby?”

  “Because I have you. Because I know I’m not alone. Because I know that when I feel like I want to crawl under the covers and not come out, you’re there. You won’t let me fall. Just like at the police station, I wanted to leave, but you reminded me I’m strong. And lastly, I know when I don’t have the strength, that’s okay, because you’ll let me borrow yours. I swear, Brice, I’m fine. The trial’s gonna suck. I admit I’m not looking forward to it, but you will be there so I know I’ll get through it.”

  I couldn’t speak as a familiar burn clogged my throat and the best kind of fire seared through me.

  Another gift.

  One that was possibly better than her telling me she loved me.

  “Christ,” the curse tore from my soul. “Fucking Christ.”

  “I’m—”

  “Every night I fall asleep knowing. Each morning I wake up and I know. But then you say something like that and I realize I don’t have the first clue.”

  “What don’t you know?” she whispered.

  “How much I fuckin’ love you. How deep it runs. How it blazes through me when I least expect it. Then I wonder if I’ll ever really know and I hope I don’t. I hope that in thirty years from now it will still sneak up on me and I’ll never stop being surprised. And I pray I’m man enough to give that same thing back to you.”