Obsessively Yours

by Nikki J Summers

  “You make me sound like some sort of sorcerer. I promise I don’t have a Joe voodoo doll.” I joked.

  “I think you are magical Ella, you mesmerise me. Honestly, I mean it when I say I’ve never felt like this before. I’m 34 years old and in all those years I’ve never felt so helpless, crazy and mad all at the same time. I’ve never wanted to ‘cuddle’ one woman so much in my life. You have me Ella. I’m all yours.”

  I liked hearing that, it made me feel special and I cuddled him a little bit closer making him wince.

  “I feel the same too champ. I spent 6 years with Adam and I didn’t feel a fraction of the feelings with him that I feel for you Joe. I’m helpless, crazy and mad too, but in the best way.”

  “I’m not good at talking. I don’t open up to people often and I like to keep my circle small.”

  “I had noticed.”

  “But I find myself wanting to share things with you Ella. I want you to know all about me and I want to know about you. I want everything. That first night when I saw you in the club in that ridiculous red strip of satin you called a dress I was hypnotised. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. There you were all big blue eyes and bouncing blonde curls, drifting around that dancefloor like an angel and looking up at Chris through those long lashes with such devotion. I knew then and there I wanted you. I wanted you to look at me like that. I wanted to be the centre of your world.

  I didn’t know how to talk to you so I reverted to my usual asshole chat up lines, and you shot me down. I don’t blame you. But the next day all I could think about was you. Who you were, where you lived. I had to track you down. So I went back to the club and asked Rich, the owner, if he could go through the CCTV so I could find you. We saw you walk in with Robyn and Chris and he said Robyn was the coffee girl. A few calls later and a bit of digging and I had your full name, address, place of work.

  I figured if I tied you to me in some way, I could win you over. Plus it was doing your agency a favour using you for my club, so I contacted your bosses and told them they’d been recommended. I did a crap job of trying to win you over again the second time. What can I say I’m rubbish at chatting up women.”

  “Good!” I chipped in.

  “I know I came on too strong and it wasn’t until I saw that fucker outside your house that it hit me. You didn’t want some asshole coming on to you with rubbish lines, promising you things you wouldn’t believe. You needed tender, caring and honest. I didn’t think I could do that, but I surprised even myself.” He sighed a sad long sigh.

  “That loser had you for almost 6 years. 6 bloody years and he treated you like that. Like you were replaceable. But you Ella, you’re irreplaceable and the fact he’s tried to win you back shows that. He wasted 6 years, I won’t make the mistakes that he did. I find it hard to talk about feelings and shit like that. I’ve always been a closed book Ella. I learnt to shut my emotions off at a young age. My Father and brothers used their fists and I built walls up around myself, to protect myself. But I’ve told you things about myself that I’d never share with anyone else. I like sharing things with you.”

  “I like that you like sharing things with me.”

  “I haven’t always been a good man Ella. I’ve done some things in my past, things I’m ashamed of, but you, you make me want to be a better man. Better for you.”

  “You are a good man Joe. You are good for me. I don’t want anyone else. The past is the past for a reason. Leave it where it belongs and concentrate on the here and now. I don’t care what you’ve done in the past. As long as you’re kind, honest, loyal and keep giving me kick ass orgasms every night I’m not bothered what happened in the past.”

  He laughed out loud at that last comment.

  “Whatever you did, it’s happened, it’s gone, none of us can change the past so don’t be so hard on yourself.” I kissed him on the cheek. His words has softened my heart and I knew I loved him. I didn’t want to scare him off by telling him though.

  “I’ll try to make more of an effort. I know I’m not the friendliest guy, your friends probably hate me, but I want to try harder. You’re so important to me Ella, I want to do whatever makes you happy.”

  “Slow down champ, you make me happy already, no need to make any drastic changes okay. I’ll try not to run away if you can try to talk to me more. Is that a deal?”

  “Yes deal. But don’t forget the cuddling. We have to do more cuddling while we talk. I like that.”

  “Me too.”

  We drove back to his apartment and pulled into the underground car park.

  “That’s Max’s car.” Joe said and pointed out a little red sports car parked next to his space.

  “I didn’t know he was coming, you can meet my best bud.”

  He looked pleased about this. Wow we were making progress, first cuddles and confessions now I get to meet the best friend.

  As we walked through the door I could hear the TV showing some football match and Max had his feet up on Joe’s coffee table, a beer in his hand looking very at home. He turned when he heard the door and when he saw me walking in behind Joe he whipped his feet off the table and sat up straighter as if he was preparing for a visit from the queen.

  “No need to sit up for us bud.” Joe said, “Max this is my Ella, Ella this is Max my best buddy since I was 4 years old.”

  Max stood up and I reached for his hand to shake it, I felt so nervous. I hope he liked me. I knew how important the best friend’s opinion was. Max bypassed the hand and came round the sofa pulling me into a bear hug. He wasn’t muscly like Joe but he felt comfy, safe. I liked him instantly. He had a kind smiley face and short brown hair that he had combed to the side.

  “Ella, Joe hasn’t shut up about you since the opening night at Elite.” I raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Joe. Great now I knew Max had seen my crazy lady outburst at Charlie over the spilt drink. He probably thought I was a certified nutter.

  “I bloody loved how you put Charlie in his place. I knew you were the one for Joe when I saw that. Frickin hilarious.”

  “That wasn’t one of my finest moments I’m afraid. I don’t always scream like a banshee at random men in public.”

  “Unless they send you dodgy texts.” Joe added sarcastically.

  “Whatever dude, you should keep a better eye on your mobile in future, or you know get a pass code or screen lock on it.”

  I excused myself from the two guys and made my way to the bathroom to freshen up.

  As I made my way back to the living room I couldn’t help but over hear Max and Joe talking.

  “So you gonna tell her everything? You gonna let her know about your past and the money?”

  “Fuck no, do I look suicidal.” I stayed leaning against the bedroom door, listening to their exchange wondering what had actually happened in his past. How had he got money? Was he abused? Did he dabble in drugs? I know his father and brothers had physically abused him and I knew his Mum had died of an overdose. Maybe he had the addiction gene too. Maybe he was a dealer? My mind was spiralling out of control with all the possibilities.

  “She’s special, she’s not like any woman I’ve ever met before. I’m falling for her and I can’t lose her. Ever.”

  “Do you really think you can keep this relationship going without telling her everything?”

  “Yes. The past is just that, it’s done, forgotten. It’s not important.”

  “I think she might disagree with you if she found out.” Jeez this really was something big, a child maybe? Secret wife hidden somewhere? I needed to know what this was.

  “Nothing good can come from her knowing and my lawyers have buried it anyway. The past is the past mate, but Ella…..she is my future.”

  Now that melted me all over again. Yes Joe, stuff the past I don’t need to know. We’ve all got skeletons in our closets. As long as they don’t come bounding out fucking things up in a few months or years asking for maintenance or some such crap I didn’t care.

  “So this
is the real deal then huh? Game over, no more women? No parties at Charlies?”

  “I hate Charlie’s parties and yes it’s the real deal. Don’t fuck this up for me Max please, don’t say anything to her.”

  “I won’t say a thing Joe, I’ve got your back always, you know that, you’re my best mate but there’s a hell of a lot of pissed off people out there who are still holding grudges against you Joe. One day it’ll come out my friend. I just hope you’re prepared when it does.”

  It had to be something to do with money. Maybe he’d committed some kind of fraud and ripped a lot of people off. That was it I was certain. I shrugged it off and made sure they knew to expect me to come through the door so they could stop their private little chat. I didn’t want it to look like I’d been eaves dropping.

  I sank down into the sofa next to Joe and grabbed his beer off him chugging it down. He shook his head and got up to get another one. Max laughed and made the ‘under the thumb’ sign at me. I laughed, “Damn straight.” I replied.

  Max and I got on really well, so well I think Joe felt a bit left out at times, but I made sure to squeeze his hand or give him a reassuring cuddle throughout the evening. Finally, Max excused himself and left when my stifled yawns began coming thick and fast. Then Joe and I fell asleep cuddling on the sofa, our limbs all tangled together but feeling like a puzzle that had finally been completed. We were always meant to be like this.

  Chapter Nineteen

  We’d had a particularly busy week at work, not that any of us were complaining. The new business coming in meant we were building the company brand, making a name for ourselves in the industry, and that could only be good news for all of us.

  Kim waltzed in whistling cheerily and holding another huge bouquet of flowers. Peach roses this time. I swear the man must have had shares in a florist, he spent a fortune on them. I loved it though. Kim sat them down on my desk with a sneaky grin on her face.

  “I sure hope you like roses Ella, your guy doesn’t seem to want to buy you anything else.”

  “I love them.” I said as I smelt them and slid the envelope from the top.

  Again Kim lingered in the hope of sharing in my gift, but I popped it into the top drawer of my desk and carried on typing. She was not a happy bunny and spun on her heels in irritation, stomping off to her desk and flopping into her chair in a huff.

  Chris laughed, “You are gonna give her a breakdown soon with all your cloak and dagger stuff. She lives for gossip, poor girl is withering away right now, look at her.”

  “You’ll have to go out there and tell her about your weekend escapades then won’t you.”

  He rolled his eyes, “As if I have anything exciting to tell her right now. I spent my weekend cataloguing all my music and creating new playlists. I have a playlist for any mood, day, event or person now. How sad am I?”

  “Very.”

  I pulled my drawer open and grabbed the envelope. What stunning words had my sex God written for me this time?

  My Beautiful Ella

  Peach roses say ‘I’m missing you’

  I have gone beyond that, I ache for you.

  I’ll pick you up at 6, dress in something warm, you might be cold later, so cold even I can’t warm you up.

  Your Joe x

  What on earth did he have planned that was going to make me cold? I prayed he wasn’t going to whisk me off to the North Pole or something. I hated being cold almost as much as I hated heights.

  6pm came around and I was decked out in my tightest skinny jeans to keep the heat on my legs. I had my favourite beige cashmere jumper on top with a white t-shirt underneath to layer me up. I had managed to dig out my puffy jacket that I wore in the winter, but I had no idea what to put on my feet. Heels felt wrong even though they were my go to foot wear, so I chose my comfy vans that matched my jumper and didn’t look too scruffy.

  When the doorbell rang I swung it open to find Joe in a similar outfit, jeans, grey jumper with visible layers underneath and a pair of converse.

  “You might want to bring some gloves and a hat if you have them.” He smiled.

  Oh God I was not looking forward to this.

  “I don’t do hats they squash my hair.” He laughed, but I wasn’t joking.

  “I have ear muffs though, will those do?” I asked pulling my pink fluffy kitten ear muffs out of the drawers by the side of our door.

  “Yes, you will look extra cute in those ear muffs, bring them.”

  His eyes sparkled in excitement. I felt anything but excited at the prospect of being cold through choice.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough, come on.”

  “I know you said cold, I think I should warn you I don’t do cold.”

  Again he laughed even though I wasn’t joking…still.

  “Seriously I hate winter, I wish I could hibernate.”

  “I’ll keep you warm princess, don’t you worry.”

  When we reached our destination my stomach flipped over and not in a good way.

  “Skiing… in a building…with real snow, this is so not a good idea.” I sighed. “I am the clumsiest person in the world. Do you really want to spend the night in A & E?”

  “I’m an expert, honestly I’ll be the best teacher you could ever have, I won’t let you fall I promise.” He smiled, but he had obviously under estimated my clumsiness.

  “Dude, I have been skiing before, it wasn’t a pretty sight.”

  “When did you last go?”

  “When I was fifteen with high school.”

  He threw his head back on a roar of laughter.

  “You’ll have way better balance now, don’t sweat it. You’ll be great.”

  Who was he kidding? I had to spell this out for him.

  “The first day on the slopes I skied into a tree, no make that a forest full of trees.”

  He tried to hold in his smirk, “Those damn trees can spring up out of nowhere, could happen to the best of us. There’s no trees in here I can promise you.”

  “Yeah? Well day two I skied straight down the slope, over the flat and right into a crowded carpark…covered with gravel…and I hit a car. It took three people to pull me out from under it. I was mortified.”

  He was properly laughing now. I was still straight faced to show how deadly serious I was about this possible disaster in the making.

  “Maybe the car park was too close to the slope. Their mistake I’m sure. Nothing like that is gonna happen tonight.”

  “Hmmm, so day three I forgot to use the snow plough move to slow me down and I skied into the queue of people waiting for the ski lifts. I took out little kids Joe, I was a menace. Plus they had all this plastic netting stuff they were using as a make shift fence running along behind the queue of people at the lift and my skis got all tangled up in it. I was Mr Bean on Skis. I shouldn’t be allowed to put skis on again…ever.”

  He was doubled over with laughter now, “This could be fun then.” He could hardly speak he was laughing so hard.

  “Seriously, they told me to sit out by day four, I felt humiliated.” I protested.

  “I’m sure it’ll be different tonight.” He tried to sound sincere but the sneaky grin playing across his face told me he was going to enjoy my Bambi on ice performance.

  “I can’t ski for toffee, but on the last night I danced like a pro at the leaving disco. I even had our young ski instructor begging me for one more dance at the end.” I was hoping to retain some degree of self-respect here, but Joe face suddenly turned predatory.

  “I bet he did,” he clipped a little irritated, “probably wanted to give you one to one ski lessons too, amongst other things.”

  I shook my head, this man was way too jealous, he was getting pissed about a teenage encounter that had happened nearly ten years ago,

  “Whatever, let’s go do this. I hope you’re prepared to be shamed out of the building when everyone sees how truly awful I am.”

  “No one will s
ee, I’ve hired the whole place out so it’ll only be us in there.”

  Of course he had, why did I think we would be skiing with the rest of the public? Joe didn’t do people or crowds.

  We got out of the car and he popped the trunk open to reveal two sets of skis and poles, one black with blue and green patterns on and the other pink with purple swirls.

  “I figured you wouldn’t own skis and I don’t like using the loaned out stuff so I brought you some of the gear today is that okay?”

  “You have way too much money,” I mused, “I’d happily borrow some skis for an evening.”

  He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he picked both sets up to carry them inside. I hoped he’d kept a receipt for them though, because I doubted I’d use them more than once.

  “Oh my God it’s sooooo cold!” I shivered rubbing my hands together and making clouds with my breath.

  “Of course it is, this is real snow you know and they need to keep the temperature right to stop it melting.” He raised one eye brow at me.

  As we trudged from the changing area in our clumpy ski boots to the bottom of the slope that was covered in snow I skidded and almost fell on my ass.

  “It’s so slippy!” I said sounding like a total idiot now.

  “Yes, it’s snow.” He said but not in a condescending way, more playful at my naivety.

  “Come on Bambi let’s get you on the lift and up to the top.”

  He carried both skis and managed to part carry me across the snow to the elevator that acted as a lift to take us to the top of the slope. I was shaking in fear right now. I couldn’t believe I was actually going along with this. It was my worst nightmare.

  “You are a glutton for punishment, I am the worst student when it comes to stuff like this, and my co-ordination is none existent.”

  “I don’t mind, I like holding you and helping you,” he said as he kissed me on the end of my nose, “you are so cute right now, all wrapped up in a bundle of clothes and your kitten ear muffs with your pink cheeks and nose, looking terrified. It’s turning me on.” He winked.

  “You’re twisted.” I smiled a shy smile.

  When we got to the top I was literally sliding all over the place trying to find my footing to walk away from the lift and get to an area where I could feel safe. Joe just threw his skis down like he wasn’t human, clipped them onto his boots and started to move in front of me, holding both of my hands and guiding me forward. He put my skis on the floor next to me and held me tight as he helped me step each foot into place. Then he eased us down the slope slowly, him facing backward and me forward, all the while holding my hands and talking to me to keep me calm. I just kept my head down, feeling every muscle in my body tense in preparation for the pain of a fall.