Obsessively Yours

by Nikki J Summers

  It was true, it had been a few months since Chris’s last ‘date’ and I’d never known him to go this long without someone being in the picture to keep him entertained. I’d have to start asking around, seeing if I could help change that for him.

  “We could head out to G.A.Y one of the nights, see if we can’t hook you a hunk to have some fun with.”

  “I’ll hold you to that Elle, but best leave your own man candy at home that night, the guys there would lose their shit over him.”

  “I wouldn’t dare let Joe walk through the door. Plus he’d be struck dumb, he wouldn’t know how to save himself. He’s pretty clueless sometimes when it comes to stuff like that.”

  As confident as Joe had seemed with women when I first met him, it soon became clear that he struggled dealing with people in general. He always kept his guard up and didn’t trust easily. I figured a life time of his family’s cruelty had cemented that wariness into him, but he’d really been making an effort lately to get to know Chris and Robyn more. Even though being with new people and in groups didn’t come naturally to him.

  Later that evening we hurried straight out of the warmth of the cab into the chill of the November air and rushed straight into the heat of our favourite bar Après. We had dressed for the weather tonight as the fireworks planned for later in the chilly night air would freeze us solid. I had chosen black skinny ripped jeans with my black stilettos and a silky backless black top that hung at the front in waves. My hair tied up in a high pony tail and the thick curls running down my back. The blonde curls served to break up the monotony of my black outfit.

  We drank wine and cocktails with the odd shot of tequila in between to get us warmed up and ready. When it came time to go outside to watch the fireworks Robyn and I hooked our arms through Chris’s and made our way to the back of the bar where a large beer garden was decked out in fairy lights with patio heaters dotted around to keep us slightly warmer.

  The display started and the three of us watched, swaying slightly in response to the alcohol we had already consumed in record time and giving out the customary ‘ooo’ and ‘ahh’ as the night sky became a sparkling piece of art. I missed Joe and wished he could have been here to hold onto and cuddle instead of Chris. His arms were so much warmer and comfier. I glanced around the gardens longingly in the hope that he had arrived and would be wondering over to us. That’s when my eyes fell on someone I hadn’t expected to see, never in a million years.

  Adam was stood leaning against the fence to the side of us, staring straight at me. What the hell was he doing here? This wasn’t a pub he would ever normally use, and he appeared to be alone. We stood still staring at each other for a few minutes before he pushed himself off the fence and walked towards me with real purpose. I felt relieved that Joe wasn’t here right now, if he was he’d go completely mental.

  “Ella, I need to talk to you.”

  “No Adam, you don’t. What the hell are you doing here anyway?”

  “I knew you’d be here. I came to see you.”

  “Why? We haven’t got anything to say to each other.”

  “Please Ella, five minutes that’s all I’m asking for then you never have to see me again if that’s what you want.”

  “Yes it is what I want, just go away Adam.”

  “Please Ella.”

  I huffed irritated, “Fine, five minutes then you’re gone, and not a minute more.”

  I let go of Chris’s arm and walked into the corner of the garden where it was quieter so Adam could say his piece and I could escape to reconvene my night and not let the asshole spoil a thing.

  “I know I have no place to say this to you Ella, especially after all I’ve done to you but I miss you.”

  Oh God not this again, I threw my head back in exasperation and went to walk away, but he grabbed my arm to pull me back.

  “Please don’t go just hear me out okay. I’ve spent the past few months thinking long and hard about what I want out of life, what I want my future to be. I worked so hard to become a doctor but I wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for you Ella. You were there for me every step of the way. You took care of me when I was too wrapped up in exams and focusing on the future. You took all of the crap I dished out and never complained about it, not once. I know I wasn’t supportive of your career and I’m so sorry. Everything was always about me back then and I see that now. I was so stupid to do what I did….with the other girls, but Ella honestly, since you left me I haven’t been with anyone else. I don’t want to, I’ve only ever wanted you and I’m just not interested in even dating anyone else.”

  He looked down at his feet and shook his head.

  “Adam why are you saying all this now? It’s pointless, I don’t love you anymore.”

  “But you did love me once didn’t you? You made me your world and I can’t believe I threw that away. Ella, I want to try again, I want to make you love me again.”

  “That’ll never happen…”

  “How do you know if you don’t try? You loved me once you could love me again. I want it to be different this time, I want to be the one taking care of you now Ella, supporting you and making you the centre of my world.”

  “No Adam,” He wouldn’t let me finish.

  “I work long hours in the hospital, I see people lose loved ones, have their lives change in the worst possible way and then I go home to our empty house and I don’t have you there any more Ella. It kills me. I want to put my arms around you and thank God I have you in my life, I want show you all the ways I love you and hold you as you sleep, be there when you wake and get lost in our little Ella and Adam bubble we used to be in when we were first together. I know we can get it back Ella. I know you, I know what you want and what you need.”

  “No you don’t, you never did. You’re too selfish Adam.” He wasn’t listening to anything I said and my heart dropped as he dropped down to the floor on one knee. Oh please God no, not this, anything but this.

  “Ella, you are my world, my soul mate, the love of my life. I promise I will worship and adore you every day of our lives and care for you and our children with all my heart. It’s always been you Ella. My Ella. Please say you’ll marry me and make me the happiest man alive?”

  I felt my knees give way and he stood up upon seeing me falter.

  “I know it’s a lot to take in right now and we don’t have to set a date right away, but I wanted to let you know how serious I am right now. I wanted to do a better proposal than the last time and give you a better ring now I can afford it.”

  He pulled a velvet box from his pocket as I stood gawping at him, my mouth open and a stunned expression on my face. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t speak. This wasn’t happening to me. I felt like I was watching a bad comedy sketch. He opened the box to reveal a beautiful solitaire diamond ring about five times bigger than the last one he’d given me.

  “Why are you doing this now Adam?”

  “I’ve had time to think, to get my future planned in my head. It just feels right Elle.”

  “Don’t I get a say in any of this?”

  “Of course! If you don’t like the ring we can go out and pick another one, together. I know you always liked the solitaire rings, but if you want something different for our new start we can do that. We can do anything.”

  “It’s not about the bloody ring Adam, I don’t want to try again. I don’t want to marry you. You need to get over me and move on.”

  “But I can’t. I’m stuck in this hell and I can’t move on. We aren’t good apart Ella, we need to be together.”

  “And you’ve decided this, so it’s just gonna happen?”

  “Yes it is.”

  I could not believe his front, he had way too much confidence and the way he said ‘yes it is’ reminded me of his narcissistic tendencies. I’d always be his property to boss around. He missed owning me not being with me.

  “I can’t believe you…” I was seething now, “You have the nerve to show up here, say a few
phoney sweet things and flash a ring and you think that makes everything better?”

  “I’m not stupid Ella, I know we have work to do, I have work to do to put this right, but we aren’t broken beyond repair. There’s still something there. I feel it, I know you do too.”

  He reached forward to take my hand and leaned into me in an attempt to kiss and nuzzle my neck. That’s when I heard the growl behind me.

  “Get your fucking hands off her.”

  Joe was stomping across the grass towards us, Chris and Robyn following him with looks of disgust on their faces. Joe grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Adam and into his side. He placed a predatory arm around my waist before leaning forward and glaring into Adam’s eyes.

  “You don’t get to talk to her, touch her. You don’t even get to look at her. If I ever see you anywhere near her again I will rip your fucking head off, do you hear me?”

  “So it’s the big guy again come to save Ella from her scary ex, you need to back off mate, she’s not yours. Stay out of this.”

  “She is mine.” Joe growled. “You had your chance now fuck off and leave us alone.”

  Adam ignored Joe and held the ring out to me in a display of total arrogance.

  “Babe lets go home and I can show you how sorry I am.” Adam had the cheek of the devil.

  “No” I spluttered but Joe pulled me further away.

  “If you don’t fuck off out of my sight in the next five seconds I will knock you out, mate. She will never EVER be yours so take your cheap ass ring, and fucked up promises and get the hell out of our space.”

  Even I was scared now. Anger rippled right off Joe in waves. I wouldn’t have argued with him. Robyn reached out to me and stroked my arm giving me an ‘I feel for you babe’ look and I turned to Joe.

  “Let’s go he won’t listen to you. He doesn’t listen to anyone. Take me home Joe I don’t want to be here anymore.”

  Joe nodded and we turned to walk away.

  “Make the most of it mate, she’ll be back in my bed soon enough.” Adam said behind us.

  Before I could react Joe spun round and punched Adam right in the face. He spun a half turn and fell to the floor knocked out cold on the ground. None of us made any effort to crouch down to him to check he was ok. The bouncer, knowing who we were, walked over and picked Adam up under each arm pit and dragged him to a bench to recover.

  We walked straight out of the garden, through the bar and out to the street to escape what had turned into an utter nightmare. The fireworks I’d wanted weren’t quite what I had got.

  “You sure you’re gonna be alright on your own with Rocky over there?” Robyn asked looking genuinely concerned. “He looks like he’s ready to commit a murder.”

  “I’ll be ok, he wouldn’t ever hurt me, it’s not in his nature.” They didn’t look convinced but I knew Joe, I trusted him.

  We hugged our goodbyes in the street and went our separate ways. Joe held my hand tight as he walked me to his car and opened the passenger door for me. Once he was in his side and starting the car I turned to him, “talk to me.”

  He stayed quiet shaking his head and gripping the steering wheel in a vice like grip.

  “What do you want me to say Ella?”

  “You do know that whole scene was complete and utter bull shit don’t you. I wouldn’t go back to him, ever.”

  “And that’s meant to make me feel better?”

  “Yes” I was confused now, I didn’t know what else to say.

  He rubbed his stubbly chin, “Do you know how humiliating it was to walk in and watch someone propose to you like that. You’re supposed to be mine and you were huddled in a corner with him looking all cosy standing close together, letting him touch you. I stood watching you for a lot longer than you realise you know.”

  “I didn’t let him touch me. I didn’t even want to talk to him but I thought if he had the five minutes he was begging for he’d leave and I wouldn’t have to see him again.”

  “You won’t see him again.”

  “I know! You don’t have to tell me that, I don’t want to! This isn’t my fault you know. I haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “You shouldn’t have talked to him at all. You let him control you. That pisses me off.”

  “He didn’t control me. I chose to listen to him and I chose to tell him to get lost. I can make decisions for myself Joe.”

  “So if you walked into a bar and saw me chatting in the corner with a woman and she was telling me I was the love of her life and stroking my arm, leaning in for kisses and getting down on one knee to propose to me you wouldn’t be angry? No?”

  “Well when you put it like that no I wouldn’t be happy, but you know what Adams like. You know I hate him.”

  “You hated me a few months ago.”

  “Oh my God you cannot compare that to this. Joe if you’re gonna spend the rest of tonight making me feel like crap for something that was out of my control then just turn the car around and take me back to Robyn’s, I just don’t have the energy for this.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  “NO! I want you to see this whole farce for what it is. A big fat joke.”

  “I can’t help feeling like you made me look like a fool tonight.”

  “Adams the fool. Seriously Joe this conversation is done. Forget it please. I don’t even want to give another minute of my time talking about this.”

  Joe didn’t respond just kept driving until we came to his building. He skidded into the car park and stalked out of the car without coming to my side to let me out.

  “I’ll let myself out shall I?” I whispered to myself.

  We got in the lift and travelled up in silence. This whole evening was a disaster. When we entered his apartment I pushed past him and went straight down the hall to the bathroom and locked myself in. I needed time away from his brooding to get my head straight. I sat on the bathroom floor thinking about everything that had happened. The timing tonight couldn’t have been worse. Why did he have to see that? I felt nauseas. I stood up to look at myself in the mirror and give myself a mental pep talk.

  ‘Keep your head Elle, you haven’t done anything wrong. Yes he’s pissed but you didn’t ask for any of this. It is up to him to get over it and move on. If he can’t do that it’s his issue, not yours.’

  I was contemplating calling Robyn to come pick me up when a light knock sounded on the door.

  “Open up baby, let me in.” I sighed not feeling ready for anymore confrontations tonight. “I’m sorry. I’m a jealous asshole.”

  “Yes you are” I said as I opened the door and slowly grinned at him. I couldn’t stay mad for long when I was looking at him, he was just too beautiful. He cupped my face in his hands.

  “I’ll always be jealous. I’m protective of you, you’re mine. It’s my job to fight off the other guys out there who want to steal you from me.” He kissed my nose, “I wasn’t doing my job tonight, I should have been there earlier.”

  “No one’s going to steal me away Joe. I’m yours.” I hugged him tightly around his waist and let the scent of him settle my butterflies. We were okay. We would always be okay.

  He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. ‘Now the fireworks I wanted’ I thought dreamily.

  “You need to show me you’re mine” Joe breathed into my ear and sent tickles down my neck and goose bumps down my spine. I ran my hand down his chest and glanced up at him through my lashes.

  “Only yours. Always.”

  “Actions speak louder than words.”

  I pulled the straps of my top down to expose my bare breasts to him and he stroked one breast before rubbing his thumb over my nipple and kneading me more forcefully. He bent down to lick the nipple and suck it hard into his mouth before repeating his actions on the other breast. I gasped loving his touch, wanting more.

  “These are mine.” He growled.

  “Yours” I muttered as I unbuckled my jeans. I kicked off my heels and shimmied out of my ti
ght jeans to stand in front of him in my black thong. He stepped into me and put both of his hands behind my neck and stroked the side of my jaw with his thumbs, “Do you have any idea of what you do to me?”

  I shook my head, “Show me.” I teased.

  He smiled and ran his hands slowly down my sides before reaching round for my ass and grabbing it hard.

  “This is mine. This is my favourite.” He ran one hand gently between my legs, “And this too, I love this the most of all.”

  He ran a finger under the seam of my thong then gently pulled it down so it slipped to the ground. Wow that was a first for Joe, no ripped knickers tonight.

  He was bringing me to my knees. I was crazy with want. I kept up my sultry stare looking up at him through my lashes and sighing as I pulled his t-shirt from his jeans and reached up underneath to run my hands over his stomach muscles. He looked down at me like he wanted to eat me alive. I pulled it up and he gave me the support I needed, bringing the t-shirt over his head and throwing it down to the floor. I stroked over his pecs before walking around him to face his back. I kissed across his shoulders and stroked delicate wave patterns across his lower back. He was breathing heavily as affected by this as I was.

  I walked back round to face him and opened the buttons of his jeans painfully slowly then pushed them over his hips along with his boxers. He sprang free, his erection sticking out straight at me hard and long. I sank to my knees and licked the tip, swirling my tongue around it and up along the sensitive end watching him through my lashes as he closed his eyes and continued to breathe deeply, “So good” he whimpered.

  I licked along the length and used my one hand to stroke him, my other hand rolling his balls and dragging my nails over them to make him shiver and groan. I pulled him into my mouth and sucked him in short hard sucks before pushing his whole length into my throat.

  “Fuck, that’s too good.” He cried.

  My chin was wet I was struggling to breathe well but I didn’t care, I wanted to please him. I wanted to devour every inch of him, taste every drop. He rocked back and forward with me, eyes closed and lost in the sensations I was creating. I loved being in control of him like this. His hands brushing and stroking my hair as I brought him to the point of no return. He opened his hooded eyes and looked down at me. The love I saw glowing from them overwhelmed me. I could have cried right there I felt so much love for this man. Our eyes were locked as I sucked and massaged him. He put a hand under my chin and slowly pulled himself out of me.