The Army Doctor's Christmas Baby

by Helen Scott Taylor

  Thinking of her parents made Kelly pause and pull the mobile phone from her jeans pocket. She scrolled through the numbers to find that of her sister's place where her Mum and Dad would be on Christmas Day. Australia was ten hours ahead of the UK, so if she intended to wish them Merry Christmas, she needed to do it now.

  "Going to make a call?" Sean asked.

  "Yeah. I'll just speak to Mum and Dad quickly."

  She wandered along the hall to the back door and stepped outside as she dialed. Her sister, Joanne, answered.

  "Hi, Jo. It's Kelly. Just called to say Merry Christmas."

  "Back at you, girl. It's great to hear from you. Why didn't you fly out to see us? I thought you had leave this Christmas."

  Guilt whispered through Kelly and she shoved it aside. "I'm helping a friend look after his children."

  "Is he good-looking?"

  "Actually, yes."

  "Then I forgive you. Mum's just come inside. She wants a chat."

  "Merry Christmas, Mum."

  While Kelly talked to her mother, she kicked ice off the step outside the back door, imagining her mum, dad and sister basking in the Australian sun.

  "Okay, well, I'd better go."

  "Maybe we'll see you in the New Year," her mother said hopefully.

  "Maybe." As Kelly cut the connection, she sighed. She was going to be far too busy to make a trip to the other side of the world.

  As she wandered back to the living room ready to join the girls to unwrap another present, the doorbell rang.

  "I'll give you one guess who that is," Sean said.

  "Your brother?"

  Sean nodded.

  "Did he talk to you about joining the army?"

  "He called while I was at the hospital on Christmas Eve. I don't know what he's decided, though." Sean lifted his eyebrows and went to answer the door.

  Daniel sauntered in grinning, a bag of presents in his hand. He leaned over the kitchen island to kiss Kelly's cheek. "Merry Christmas. Where are my lovely little nieces?" He spotted them playing and crouched as they toddled towards him, both squealing with excitement. They obviously knew who he was and liked him.

  "Zoe and Belles, my Christmas babies. Uncle Dan has presents for you. I know how much girls like presents."

  "We're rationing presents," Sean said, following his brother back.

  "Rationing presents. That's not the Christmas spirit. What a mean old daddy you have." He grinned at Sean as he put an arm around each baby and nuzzled their cheeks until they giggled.

  "So, are you joining us for lunch?" Kelly asked.

  "If you'll have me. I'm persona non grata at home. I told Dad I wanted to leave the practice yesterday evening." Daniel gave Sean an apologetic smile. "He blames you for turning the head of this gullible boy, by the way. He thinks you talked me into joining the army."

  Sean shrugged and grabbed a wineglass from the cupboard. "He hasn't spoken to me for months anyway. I called to speak to Mum yesterday morning and he hung up on me. Want a glass of wine?"

  "Why not. It started snowing as I arrived, so I won't be driving home. A tiny sprinkling of snow and my car skids around like a snowboard."

  They all turned and stared out the wall of windows along the river frontage. Fat snowflakes tumbled out of the sky to cover the decking in a white fluffy coat.

  Kelly picked Annabelle up and wandered to the window, pointing up at the sky. "Do you see the white stuff falling? That's snow. It's very cold but lots of fun to play with." Kelly unlatched the window in front of her and scraped a bunch of fresh snow into her hand.

  Annabelle stuck her fingers in the white mush, squealed, and shoved a handful in her mouth. Zoe toddled over to join them and Kelly crouched to show the other twin. Zoe touched the snow warily before wiping her hand on her clothes.

  ***

  After a sumptuous turkey dinner, the adults sat on the sofa with the babies climbing across their laps, and handed out presents.

  Kelly unwrapped a pretty heart-shaped pendant from Sean. He fastened it around her neck and kissed her. "Sorry it's not very exciting. I didn't have long to choose."

  "It's beautiful." She had only bought him a sweater, not knowing what else to get.

  A little after four, the phone rang. Sean picked it up and wandered to the window, staring out at the deepening snow.

  "A boy! Congratulations. I'll tell Kelly. See you soon."

  Kelly rose, her heart thumping. "Alice has had her baby?"

  "Yes, this morning. Cam said we can go and visit if we want."

  "I'd love to."

  "I'll babysit." Both girls were crawling over Daniel with chocolate around their mouths. He didn't seem to mind and obviously adored them.

  "Right. That's settled then. You know where the clean diapers are if you need them." Sean slapped his brother on the back with a grin.

  "Not going to happen, mate," Daniel answered. He winked at Kelly as she kissed both babies before hurrying to put on her coat.

  The snow was a few inches thick, but not a problem for the SUV. By the time they arrived at the hospital, darkness had fallen.

  Sean stopped in his private parking space close to the entrance and they went up to the maternity level.

  "Merry Christmas, sir," a nurse said.

  "Happy holidays, Colonel Fabian." A young doctor gave Sean a thumbs-up as he stepped out of the elevator.

  Sean smiled politely and greeted his colleagues.

  A nurse directed them to Alice's room. She sat propped up in bed against some pillows, a tiny bundle in her arms.

  "Oh, Alice." Tears pricked Kelly's eyes as she rushed to the bedside and gazed down at the newborn's sweet little face. "He's lovely."

  "He's definitely a Knight. Look at all the dark hair." Alice kissed the baby's fluffy topknot.

  Cameron came in with a drink for Alice and put it on the side table. "What do you think of Harry Knight?"

  "He's adorable, Cam. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you." She hugged her dear friend, poignant tears overflowing her eyes. She was delighted to see him and Alice together with their new baby.

  "Would you like to hold him?" Alice said.

  "Oh, yes please, if you don't mind."

  "I know how much you love babies. I remember when I arrived at the field hospital with Sami. You were over the moon to take him off my hands while I had my operation."

  Alice held out her baby. Kelly lifted the tiny boy from her arms, cradling him against her chest, her breath tight in her lungs. His little eyes opened and he stared at her. "Hello, you darling boy."

  Sean stepped close and wrapped his arm around her waist, squeezing gently. "He looks like you, Cam," he said.

  She imagined holding her own baby boy, one with blond hair and blue eyes like the man at her side. Longing as sharp and painful as shards of glass pierced her heart.

  Sean had held his two girls as newborns and enjoyed this stage of fatherhood. He had his family. By staying with him, she wasn't depriving him of this. Her breath eased but the pain still stabbed her chest. Whatever she told herself, she would give anything to have her own baby.

  "Thank you for letting me hold him. He's a little angel. You're very lucky." She passed tiny Harry Knight across to his proud father and they chatted for a few minutes, then she and Sean left the new parents in peace to enjoy their baby.

  Sean gripped her hand as they crossed the marble and stainless steel hospital foyer and stepped out into the chilly air. Flakes of snow spiraled down from the dark sky, hitting her in the face as she angled her head up.

  They crunched across the icy car park and Sean opened the SUV door for her to climb in. When he joined her, he turned up the heater to warm the vehicle.

  "You're quiet again, Kell. Something upsets you about Alice's baby?"

  "Gosh, no. I'm thrilled for them. I'm just a little tired, that's all." She wasn't looking forward to telling Sean that she couldn't have children. If they were in a relationship he deserved to know, but not yet. She didn't want t
o spoil Christmas Day for them both.

  Sean turned the radio to a channel playing Christmas songs and drove off, humming along. "You know, I'd love to have a baby boy one day, a brother for Zoe and Annabelle," he said thoughtfully.

  Kelly froze. She gripped the seat belt, digging her nails in the fabric as pain knotted her gut. She didn't want to deprive him of another baby if he really wanted one, but he did have two girls. Why couldn't that be enough?

  She was so absorbed in her thoughts she didn't notice Sean staring at her. "You're worrying me, Kell. Tell me what's the matter so I can help."

  The wipers swiped away snowflakes, beating rhythmically while Bing Crosby crooned "White Christmas."

  There was no gentle way to say this, no easing into the subject. "I should have told you before. I can't have children."

  "Are you sure? There're lots of treatments for infertility these days."

  "There's no treatment for a hysterectomy. I had endometrial cancer when I was twenty-three."

  "Aw hell, I'm sorry." Sean scraped a hand back through his hair. He stopped at a road junction on a quiet country lane, leaned over, and pulled her into his arms. "My poor love. Sorry if I sounded insensitive. I should have thought before I spoke."

  Nausea clenched Kelly's stomach. Was he going to make a big thing out of this like her family had? Once people knew about her problem, they treated her differently. "It's okay. You didn't know. It was a long time ago. Let's just forget about it."

  "Is there any risk of the cancer returning?"

  Kelly wriggled out of his arms and sat back to get some space. "No. Can we leave the subject alone? It's not really something I want to discuss at Christmas. Today's supposed to be relaxing."

  "Okay." His troubled gaze lingered on her face and she stared out the windshield, willing him to drive on.

  "Look, my comment about wanting another baby was just a throwaway thought after seeing Cameron's son. I'm happy with my two girls, honestly."

  The sick tension in her belly tightened. Was he only saying that because he now knew her medical history or did he really mean it?

  He grasped her clenched fingers in her lap and stroked gently. "We'll say no more about it if you like."

  "Thanks." Tension crawled up her back and gripped the muscles in her neck until her head ached. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

  "It's not an issue. Honestly." He rubbed a hand over his face. "Okay, well, I guess we'd better get home before my brother is forced to change a diaper." Sean drove on, the only sound the slashing windshield wipers.

  Chapter Ten

  Sean was losing Kelly and he didn't know what to do about it.

  With a sinking sense of loss, he played with his babies on the sofa in the sitting room, helping them sort pictures of animals on the coffee table. Even though he chatted to them, most of his attention remained focused on Kelly as she prepared the children's lunch in the kitchen area.

  Everything had gone wrong on the drive home from visiting Alice and the baby. After Kelly told him about her cancer and hysterectomy, she had transformed into a different woman.

  She wouldn't discuss the subject and grew defensive and prickly when he mentioned it. He was worried about her, but she had shut him out. Every day she seemed to withdraw further into herself, tensing when he touched her. She'd even changed how she behaved with the children.

  The happy, easy-going woman he knew had disappeared. He wouldn't have believed it possible if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. The final straw came yesterday when she caught him researching endometrial cancer. She had been furious and retreated to her bedroom, slamming the door.

  He walked on eggshells around her now, never knowing when he opened his mouth if she would take offense.

  She obviously hadn't come to terms with the past. But if she wouldn't talk about it, what could he do? He only wanted to help her. He loved her.

  "The girls' lunch is ready," she called.

  He dragged himself out of his miserable thoughts. "Come on, you two. Time to fill those tummies."

  Sean pasted on a smile and led his daughters by their hands through to the table. He lifted them into their high chairs one at a time before fastening the safety straps.

  Kelly put a bowl of chicken and vegetables in front of each girl, then sat between them with a wet cloth, ready to wipe faces and hands.

  "We'll eat shortly," she said. "Our sausage pie is still in the oven."

  "Sounds great." Sean bent to kiss the top of her head. She tensed and didn't turn to put her arms around him as she used to. Her ramrod spine sent out a clear message—go away and leave me alone.

  He gripped the back of his neck, at a loss to know how to mend things between them. "Are you all right, Kell?"

  Her breath hissed in and she cast him a narrow-eyed glare. "Will you please stop asking me that or I'll go crazy. Yes. I'm all right. Okay?"

  "Okay." Sean had to get out of there and think. He took the stairs two at a time, and shut himself in his bedroom. Wrenching open the glass door, he stepped out on the balcony and paced back and forth. He drew in long draughts of cold air to calm his raging emotions and clear his head.

  He didn't have enough experience with women to know how to handle this, but his brother did. Daniel had a new girlfriend every few weeks. Sean stepped back inside, grabbed his mobile phone from the nightstand, and scrolled through his contacts.

  "Yo, Sean. How are you, mate?" Daniel answered.

  "I've been better."

  "Kelly?"

  "Yep."

  Daniel had witnessed the meltdown in Sean's relationship with Kelly the day after Christmas and made a hasty exit. "Kell seems so easygoing. I thought your tiff would have blown over by now."

  "It hasn't. She didn't even come to bed with me last night. She had a headache." It hurt that she'd rather sleep alone than be with him. If she felt bad, he was happy just to cuddle and look after her.

  "Buy her a present, the more expensive the better. Jewelry usually does the trick for me."

  Sean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He should have realized the women Daniel dated were as shallow as puddles and nothing like Kelly. "I don't think something sparkly is going to fix this."

  He could almost hear Daniel's shrug. "I like Kell, but no woman's worth this much hassle. Plenty more fish in the sea."

  "Yeah. Thanks." For nothing. Sean cut the connection and rested his hands on the balcony railing, staring at the meltwater rushing past in the river below.

  An expensive bauble would not win Kelly over. He needed something to pierce that damn wall she'd thrown up around herself to keep him out, something to make her understand he loved her and cared for her.

  Then an idea occurred to him. There was one piece of jewelry that was bound to get through to her. His heart pounded at the scary prospect of making a commitment he had vowed never to repeat. But it was the only way to show Kelly how much he loved her. It didn't matter if she couldn't have children. He wanted to be with her. He'd do whatever it took to make sure she felt loved and appreciated, just as she was.

  ***

  Sean wandered back into the kitchen as Kelly was taking the sausage pie out of the oven. She glanced at him, trying to gauge his mood. The anxious air of concern in his eyes made her grit her teeth. Why couldn't he forget about her cancer and treat her like he had before? This was exactly what had happened when she told her family—they fussed and tried to wrap her in cotton wool.

  "Lunch will be on the table in a moment," she said, aiming for a light, breezy tone.

  "I'm not really hungry yet. I'll run out for a while and have something to eat when I come back."

  Kelly's gaze jumped from the plates she had pulled from the warmer to Sean's face. "Where are you going?"

  "Just into Oxford."

  She waited for him to elaborate but he didn't. "Okay."

  "See you later." He dropped a kiss on her cheek, said good-bye to the children, and headed out.

  Kelly stared
after him, her heart drumming. Why had he been so mysterious? Was he going out to get away from her? She'd noticed he'd spent less time with her since her revelation.

  Maybe he'd had a rethink and decided he did want another baby. Perhaps she should do the decent thing and walk away like she had with Cameron, give Sean the opportunity to meet someone else who could have children.

  Her relationship with Sean wasn't going to work out. She couldn't handle the way he fussed over her all the time. It was best if she went back to her original plan.

  The charity job was still available. They were always short of qualified nurses with overseas experience. She would get tremendous satisfaction and fulfillment from working with the poor needy children in Somalia.

  Kelly sat at the table alone and ate her sausage pie one slow mouthful at a time, the food tasting like sawdust. After struggling through half of it, she tossed the rest in the trash.

  She carried the babies upstairs, then changed their diapers. Annabelle struggled and cried as Kelly laid her on the changing table. Even the children had become difficult over the last few days. They must be reacting to their father's strange mood.

  A sigh wrenched from Kelly's chest as she finished with the fussy baby and changed Zoe. She'd felt as though she belonged here, yet after she told Sean her medical history, the happy family atmosphere had melted away with the snow. This was the last time she would ever tell anyone about her cancer and hysterectomy.

  She fetched her laptop from her bedroom, sat cross-legged on the floor beside the babies, and fired off an e-mail to her contact at the charity. They were going to think she was schizophrenic; first she wanted to work overseas, then she didn't, now she did again.

  The front door opened downstairs. Sean was back. Her heart leaped as excitement raced along her nerves, her instincts still not caught up with the change in their relationship. With a groan, she dropped her head in her hands. All she wanted to do was cry; instead she had to put on a brave face until she could leave.