A Sticky Situation

by Kiki Swinson

  “Word?” I said and laughed.

  “Yep, that’s why I called you down there. I wanted you to see me whip his motherfucking ass for talking shit to me when he came by Melody’s crib about a month ago,” Mike explained. “Do you know that nigga threatened to call the police on the spot, because I had her selling drugs out of there?”

  “Word?”

  “Yep, he sure did.”

  “So, why didn’t you straighten his ass then?”

  “Because when I pulled out my pistol, the nigga hopped in his car and skated out of there.”

  “So, those cats busting rounds at us were his peoples?”

  “Yeah. I heard him popping shit to them on the phone when I was sitting in the chair, getting my haircut. From then, I knew I was going to have problems so I got on the horn and called Jay, but he didn’t pick up. Then I called you, and when you told me you were on your way, a ton of adrenaline started pumping inside of me.”

  “Come on now, dawg, you knew I was going to come. You should’ve called me first.”

  “I know. But everything is everything. We live and learn.”

  “Yeah, that’s true. I’m just glad I was there to have your back.”

  “Shit nigga, I was glad, too. I mean, you saw how those niggas came flying around that corner, emptying out their burners at us?”

  “Hell yeah, I saw it. That’s why I was able to dive down on the ground behind that old Honda Accord, to keep them niggas from putting holes in my ass!”

  Mike took a sip of his beer and said, “Yo, those cats were amateurs. They did all that shooting and didn’t hit nothing but the cars we dove on the ground behind.”

  “Yeah, they were kind of sloppy because if it were me, I would’ve killed something on the first two shots.”

  Mike smiled. “I would’ve murdered something too.” He stood. “Come here and let me show you something.”

  I stood and followed him out of the den into a back room in the house. It was small, like a utility closet. The door to the room was made of that same kind of steel they used to create floor safes. It was at least eight inches thick. It would be very difficult for anybody to break into it, plus you could tell that it was soundproof. Mike told me the inside of it was made of solid concrete, so if anyone would ever get locked up in there he would have less than twenty-four hours to live because there was not an opening for ventilation. What was really slick about the joint was that there was another door inside of the room. As Mike led the way, I followed.

  “What I am about to show you, I haven’t shown no one else.”

  “Not even Jay?” I wondered aloud.

  “Nope, not even him,” he told me as he typed a code into a digital keypad mounted against the wall. The door made a clicking sound and Mike pushed it open. I saw something that didn’t look real to me. I honestly thought that my mind was playing tricks on me.

  “You see that shit?” Mike pointed to four piles of money stacked on top of a wooden pallet in the middle of the floor. “That’s my retirement money right there. As soon as I get rid of all that shit you see right there,” he pointed directly at a two–gallon, see-through plastic container filled with raw heroin, “I am going to get out of the game and take my wife on a six-month-long vacation before we settle down and make some real investments.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, how much is that?”

  “It’s two and a half mill,” Mike replied with pride.

  “Why would you have that much dough stashed away in your crib like this? I mean, wouldn’t you feel safer with that shit in a bank somewhere?”

  “Come on now, Seth, you see how this room is built. Couldn’t nobody get in here if they tried.”

  “I see that, but don’t you think it would be a little wise to have it in a bank, so you could build some interest on it?”

  “Hell, nah! Fuck that! I am not letting any of them crackers get rich off my dough. It’s gonna sit right here, where I can see it.”

  “How long did it take you to rake that shit in?”

  “Probably about a year. It would’ve been more, but wifey’s been dipping in it every chance she gets,” he continued as he turned the light switch back off.

  I stepped back out of the room and into the hollow area and waited for him to close the door to the safe. He opened up the second door that led back into the hallway. Once we were back in the den area, Mike took a seat.

  “I just want to let you know that the reason I took you into my safe is because I wanted you to see how serious I was about getting rich. If you’re serious, then you can have all of that too. Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression that I am some ol’ soft-ass nigga and I wouldn’t kill you if you ever got up the nerve to run up in here and try to take my shit from me; because I would, in a heartbeat.”

  “Oh nah, Mike, that shit wouldn’t ever cross my mind,” I reassured him.

  “That’s a good thing, because if we’re on the same page with this thing, you and I are going to be all right!” He took the last sip of his beer and sat it on the coffee table.

  “Well, I’m definitely on the same page with you, because if I wasn’t, I would not have gotten down with you in the first place.”

  “True! True!” Mike agreed. He stood up again and asked me if I wanted another beer.

  “Nah, I’m straight,” I told him.

  We continued to kick politics to each other for another hour or so, and then we broke it off when I got a call from Samantha. Before I accepted her call, Mike handed me a Ziploc bag of two thousand caps of dope and told me to head out to the spot. I stuffed the bag in my jeans and headed out the door. As soon as Mike closed his front door behind me, I pressed the number five button on my phone before the automated system disconnected us.

  “Hello,” I said.

  Sounding a little agitated, Samantha said, “What took you so long to accept my phone call?”

  “I was taking care of some business.”

  “With who?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I cut her off. “What’s good?” I hopped in my whip and headed toward the highway.

  “Nothing but the fact that I’m missing the hell out of you.”

  “And you don’t think I’m missing you?”

  “I know you are, but it’s just so hard being in here and you’re out there.”

  “Sam, stop doing that. You know you’re stressing yourself out when you do that.”

  “Baby, I can’t help it.”

  “Look, you ain’t got nothing but a few more weeks left and you gon’ be right out this joint with me, chilling. So stop tripping. Your time is almost up.”

  “I can’t wait because I am going to show out when I see you. All those bitches out there, who’ve probably already fucked you or trying to fuck you right now, better recognize. When I step on the scene, they better not step out of pocket, because shit will get really ugly. Seth, you know I would kill a bitch behind you!”

  “Baby, I know that. That’s why I ain’t fucking around with these hoes. They ain’t worth it. All I’m trying to do is get money, and that’s it.”

  “I know whatchu trying to do, but if you’re out there where them hoes are, they are definitely going to try to holler at you. And you know I know, because that’s how me and you met.”

  I laughed at Samantha after she made her point. Technically, she was right. Chicks out there had that type of radar, and they could tell if a nigga had a little bit of dough. As soon as they figured out how much you had coming in on a regular basis, they would offer their pussy up to you with the quickness. If you took them up on their offer, their next move was to lock your ass down. I couldn’t have that shit. Samantha wasn’t gonna have it either. I was going to continue to do me and get that cash. All that other shit wasn’t relevant, so I was going to keep my distance.

  After she reminded me over and over again about how much she loved and missed me, our fifteen-minute conversation was up. I blew a kiss at her through the phone before we got disco
nnected, but we got cut off before she could kiss me back. I stuck my phone back in my pocket and continued to make my way back to Portsmouth.

  Melody was dead in my face from the second I walked into her crib. I brushed her ass off because I wasn’t feeling her at that moment. Whether she knew it or not, her talk game was on zero and her pussy was whack, so all she could do for me is help me serve the customers. Now later on, I might want to fuck her in her ass, but until then, we didn’t have anything to talk about unless it was about helping me collect this paper.

  While I was pushing those caps off on those dopefiends out there, Maxine called my phone over a dozen times. I started to answer it a few times and tell her to leave me the fuck alone, but I knew she would have something fucked up to say, so I left well enough alone.

  SAMANTHA

  Never Trust A Big Butt And A Smile

  After I got off the phone with Seth, I stepped out of the phone booth and headed down the hallway toward my room.

  “I’ve been looking for you,” a male correctional officer said while my back was turned.

  I didn’t have to turn around to see who was asking me the question because I already recognized the voice. But to show him the respect, I turned around and smiled as hard as I could. “What, ya got something for me?” I wondered aloud and begin to walk toward him, admiring everything about him.

  C.O. Rico Mendez was his name, and he was a thirty-eight-year old, handsome brother with a caramel complexion and curly jet black hair. Plus, he had the height and body of a gladiator. His nationality was Puerto Rican. But, he said that his mother was Puerto Rican and his father was black. It wouldn’t matter either way, because he had it going on, which was why I’d been fucking him the entire time I was at that prison camp. It was a lot of hoes there that were jealous of me because they knew I was fucking around with Mendez and he snuck a lot of shit in there to me from off the street and he put money in my account. So I told all of them to get a fucking life and find their own correctional officer to fuck with because they ain’t gon’ stop this parade. I had just a few weeks left in that hellhole, so I was going to ride that pony until the very end.

  “Yeah, I sure do. And I can’t wait to give it to you.”

  I smiled because I knew he was talking about his dick. But then he changed the subject.

  “Who were you talking to?”

  “My cousin,” I lied.

  Mendez smacked me on my ass. “You better had been!” He smiled.

  “I was, sweetie.”

  “So, whatchu getting ready to get into now?”

  “I’m going in the TV room and play a couple hands of bid wiz with my roommates.”

  “Well, you know my shift ends at eleven, so I wanna get with you before I leave. A’ight?”

  “We can get together later, but we aren’t going to be able to do anything because I’m on my period right now,” I lied once more.

  “Come on, mommie! Tell me it ain’t so.” He sounded disappointed.

  Truth of the matter was, I was about to be reunited with Seth and I couldn’t have him running up in me with my pussy all stretched and worn out. He’d definitely know I’d been doing something because Mendez’s dick was slightly bigger than his, so between now and then I’d have to use a couple of hot feminine douches and jump into my kegel exercises so I could get my coochie tight again. I wasn’t gon’ let Mendez fuck it up for me.

  I rubbed my hand across the crotch of his pants. His dick got rock hard that instant. “You know how I love it when you push that big dick inside of me. So, give me four or five days and we’ll be right back in business.”

  Mendez sighed heavily. “Damn Sam, I was really looking forward to being alone with you tonight.”

  “You still can. We just can’t do anything though.”

  Mendez looked like he wasn’t at all happy by the fact that I just shot down his plans to fuck the hell out of me inside the counselor’s office tonight. But I figured he’d be all right after he carried his ass home to his wife and two kids. Whether he realized it or not, I had a life of my own, and I planned to get on with it as soon as I got out of there. Seth was my main priority, and I refused to let another nigga come between that. Now I couldn’t say the same about Seth, because he fucked around on me more times than I could count. Not to mention the fact that I was in this situation because of him. But hey, what can I say other than I forgave him and he and I were moving forward. He knew he owed me though. So, I planned to collect everything that was due to me as soon as I got my freedom. And I wasn’t gonna let no nigga or ho get in my way either.

  Now once I assured Mendez that I was going to make it up to him, he smacked me on my butt once again and left me standing in the hallway so he could make his rounds. Right after he walked off, I headed in the opposite direction, and as soon as I turned the corner, this bitch named Monique was posted up not too far from where Mendez and I were talking, so I knew she had been eavesdropping when she said, “I got some pads if you need some.”

  I stopped in my tracks and looked at this short, black, ugly-ass chick who swore up and down she was a man with her corn rows and baggy uniform.

  “Bitch, don’t play with me! You know I don’t need none of your motherfucking pads!”

  She gave me a sly little smirk. “You sure? Because I got more than I need.”

  I immediately became frustrated. “What’s your point?”

  “I don’t have a point. All I’m trying to do is be nice.”

  “Monique, cut it out. You could care less about being nice to me, and you know it,” I told her, and then I stepped away from her to leave.

  But, she cut me off and blocked me from getting by her. “What’s the rush?”

  “Bitch, if you don’t move your ass out of my way I am going to knock you the fuck out,” I warned her.

  “Come on now, Samantha. You know I ain’t trying to get into any beef with you.”

  I got agitated. “Then what the fuck do you want?”

  “I want to try some of what you’re giving Mendez,” she said.

  I tried to play dumb. “And what the fuck is that?”

  “Stop it, Samantha. Everybody knows you fucking Mendez. And personally, I don’t care. But I am curious to find out what you’re working with and why that nigga be sweating you like he does.”

  “First of all, Mendez doesn’t sweat me. And secondly, I’m not into that bumping pussy thing, so please get the fuck back!”

  “You sure? ’Cause you know I can take care of you better than that nigga can.”

  Refusing to stand there and listen to Monique another second, I stepped forward and forced my way by her. It felt like I almost knocked her arm out of socket because when I passed her, I hit her ass real hard with my shoulder. I thought we were going to go toe to toe with one another, but she let me ride. I guess she felt like it wouldn’t be worth it because she had a girlfriend who lived in the next dorm, so how would she be able to explain to her why we were fighting? She did make a slick-ass comment as I walked away.

  “Let me know if you change your mind,” she yelled behind me.

  I ignored her and kept it moving.

  MAXINE

  Later That Night

  I had been trying to get Seth on the phone all day long. I knew he was all right, but I just had this urge to hear his voice, especially after everything that had gone on today. The only other thing I could do was send him a text message and wait for his response.

  I typed in the message, I KNOW U’RE UPSET WIT ME, BUT U NEED 2 CALL ME. BCUZ I JUST GOT A CALL ABOUT A SCUFFLE YOU WERE IN EARLIER & I NEED SUM ANSWERS.

  I pressed the SEND button on my Blackberry and waited for him to respond. To my surprise, that stubborn bastard dialed my number. Hearing my phone ring sent my heart rate up at least fifty notches. I took a deep breath and answered.

  Seth went straight into his defensive mode. I didn’t get a “Hello, how are you doing” or anything. “What altercation you talking about?”

 
To keep from telling him that I actually followed him all the way to Portsmouth and watched the whole thing unfold between him, Mike, and the other guys, I came up with the most believable story of the year.

  “I’m talking about the one you and some other guys got into earlier today.”

  “Well, whoever told you that mess lied,” he yelled.

  “Seth, you can tell me anything you want, but I’ve got a friend who works for the Portsmouth Police Department, and she said that two names, yours and an unknown name, were being thrown around her department about an assault made on a man in front of a barbershop. She also said that there were several reports about a shootout.”

  “Oh, nah, that’s bullshit, because I don’t get into shit like that.”

  “Seth, the guy who was beat up was the one who called your names out.” I gave him no more room to lie.

  “What was the other guy’s name?”

  “I was told that his name was Mike.”

  There was a moment of silence, and I knew right then and there I had his dumb ass exactly where I wanted him. He finally came out of his mouth and said, “That—that was bullshit because I don’t know a guy by the name of Mike.”

  I knew he wasn’t about to throw in the towel. I came at him even harder and said, “Well, they may have gotten the other guy’s name wrong, but they definitely took down the right license plates.”

  Sounding a little worried, he said, “Whose license plates?”

  “The license plates on your Magnum,” I replied. “And since your car is registered in my name, that’s how I got the call.”

  “What else did your girlfriend say?”

  When he asked me that question it was clear that he was beginning to become a little worried. I gave him a little assurance by saying, “All I got to do is give her the word, Seth, that it was me driving your car and she will make that tag number disappear. But I am going to need you to be honest with me and tell me what happened.”

  Again, Seth fell silent. I knew he was contemplating whether or not it would be in his best interest to spill his guts to me. Then again, what other choices did he have?

  After about thirty seconds of him breathing through the receiver, he finally said, “A’ight listen, I was out there, but shit didn’t go down like your peoples said it did.”