'You know, Elisa,' Rafe said softly, 'you're quite a girl. Penny's always known it, right from the start. There's nothing wrong with her instincts. It was mine that were all screwed up. Under any circumstances I wouldn't call you expendable.'
She had always yearned for his appreciation. Now, perversely, she couldn't accept it. 'Nonsense. The trick was in getting Janet out of the way, and that was already done when I came on the scene.'
'The trick,' he contradicted, and with such tenderness her heart began to thump erratically, 'was in getting you here. Not anybody, but you. You have a special touch, a way of --'
He broke off, and the way he was staring at her made Elisa catch her breath...and lose her fear of being duped into a new feeling of closeness. Her guard was down, but his? She knew it was still up when he looked away from her and gazed into the fire. She had lost him again, and she didn't know why. Yes, of course she did. Angelique! There'd been too much emotion in this room tonight. It was spilling over into all the wrong places.
Rafe must have thought so, too. He never finished what he was about to say, but harked back to something he'd said earlier, a ploy to get himself out of an awkward situation. Elisa was sure of that, because it was a rather heavy-handed attempt to tease her. 'When I mentioned what I'd like to do to Janet, you didn't think I was really capable of murder, did you?'
'I hope not. I've been a substitute target once tonight. I don't fancy going another round.'
She meant it as a joke, but it came out resentful. Rafe stood up in that angrily abrupt way of his that made her feel so rejected. 'You have nothing to fear from me. I made that plain the day I brought you here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have that work to catch up on. I'm leaving before dawn. I should be back by eight tomorrow evening at the latest. Goodnight, Elisa.'
'Goodnight.' Dully she watched him walk into the study and close the door. She was shut out again, and she thought she should be in the Guinness Book of Records as the girl who never learned.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Breakfast without Rafe gave Elisa an insight into how life would be when she left the villa. Empty. There would be more than an ache in her heart as there had been when she'd run away from Austyn; there would be a huge gap nothing would ever fill. She must have been 'in love with love itself when she'd fallen for Austyn. With Rafe, she was in love with a man. No doubt about that.
Left to herself, she would have moped about the house all day until he came home, because that was where she felt closest to him, but that wouldn't do. Penny was none too perky, either, so they went for a drive and ended up on Spiro's beach, which was the next best thing.
Elisa intended to stay there until late, but by mid-afternoon Penny began to get restless. Her anxiety that Rafe wouldn't return was coming back to her. Frantic for something to reassure her, Elisa suggested, 'Why don't we drive into town and buy a lot of goodies for a surprise supper for Daddy, in case he's hungry when he gets home?'
As an idea it was an inspiration. Penny bubbled over with enthusiasm. They bought green and ripe black olives, anchovies, tiny pies stuffed with feta cheese, crisps, and the ingredients for snacks they could make themselves. When they got home, Penny stood on a stool by a kitchen counter and helped Elisa prepare vine leaves stuffed with savoury rice, little meatballs, a creamy fish roe paste to spread on crispy bread, a cheese dip and small pieces of sausage speared with cocktail sticks.
It took Penny's mind completely off her anxiety, and even helped Elisa forget for minutes at a time that Rafe was with Angelique. Had she really had business in London, or had they gone together to confront Janet? If Angelique was to become Penny's mother, she had a vested interest. Reason told Elisa that Rafe had no reason to be secretive about his plans with Angelique, but then, he wasn't naturally a communicative man and there was no reason why he should tell her, either.
All in all, she was as glad as Penny to have something to keep her busy. It was gone seven by the time the little feast was set out under cling-film on the sitting-room table. Elisa added the decanter of brandy for Rafe, lemonade for Penny and prepared fresh coffee. There was nothing to do after that but wait. They were still waiting at half-past eight.
'He's not coming home,' Penny said, her soft mouth drooping.
'Yes, he is. I expect his flight was delayed. It happens all the time.' Having told Penny what she'd been telling herself, Elisa continued, 'Shall we start the feast by ourselves?'
Penny shook her head. Tears, Elisa suspected, weren't far away. 'I know,' she said, 'let's get you ready for bed. Once you're in your pyjamas and dressing-gown, you can sit up with me until Daddy comes home.'
'All night?'
'If necessary.' Elisa thought if she could get Penny curled up comfortably in one of the fireside chairs she would fall asleep soon enough. She was wrong. By ten o'clock the sitting-room floor was littered with discarded games and toys, Penny was sitting wide awake and anxious on Elisa's knee, and Elisa's voice was husky from reading stories to her.
It was so quiet up in the hills that they heard the Land Rover before it turned off the road on to the track. They both jumped up, as excited as two-year-olds, and scrabbled around, frantically whipping the covers off the food and making the floor look tidier by the simple means of pushing everything into one big pile. Then Penny grabbed Elisa's hand and pulled her to the front door.
They opened it as Rafe was getting out of the car, light streaming towards him and showing his surprised expression. Penny hurled herself into his arms and clung to his neck. 'You came home!' she cried, but she was laughing excitedly, not crying.
'Of course I did,' he said, kissing her. 'The flight was delayed because of an air traffic controllers' dispute, but never mind about that now. This is what I call a welcome.'
'There's more inside,' Penny told him. 'We made a feast, Elisa and me, and we haven't touched it although we're starving. We waited for you because it's your feast.'
'Lead me to it, I'm also starving.' Rafe's eyes were on Elisa. The way Penny was clinging to him told its own story, and he asked softly, 'Had a harrowing time?'
Elisa shook her head, but he didn't believe her. He kissed her on the cheek and put an arm around her shoulders as they went back into the house. He could be so affectionate, so understanding, and so lovable when the mood took him, she thought wistfully.
Rafe stood still when he saw the 'feast'. 'It's all fresh,' Penny told him eagerly. 'We cooked for hours and it's been ready for ages, but we didn't unwrap it until we heard the car.'
'You make me feel more than welcome,' Rafe said, 'you make me feel special.'
'Well, you are,' Penny told him. 'You're my daddy.'
Elisa slipped away into the kitchen to make coffee. She was just pouring it when Rafe's arms came around her waist from behind. 'Thank you,' he said. She felt his lips on her hair, her cheek and her neck, and then he was gone.
She was unable to move for a minute, fighting off the urge to burst into tears. Oh, gosh, he had made her feel special, too. How like the man, she thought, to come along and break her into little pieces just when she thought she was doing a good job of getting herself together again.
They all ate in front of the fire. They talked and they laughed, and then Penny fell asleep on Rafe's lap. He carried her up to bed, and Elisa carried the plates into the kitchen. Rafe came down and ordered her out of there. 'What do you think I employ a housekeeper for? Anyway, it's all right to be slovenly sometimes. You said so yourself.'
In the sitting-room he poured her a glass of brandy and asked, 'What do you want to ruin it with this time?'
'Cola, please. It makes it into a long, cool sundowner.'
Rafe looked heavenwards in despair, but he did as she asked. He's happy, she thought, and that makes me happy. Paradise was made for fools like me, it's the place you get kicked out of...
If she had to leave, she was glad it would be before the evenings up here in the hills became warm enough to make a fire superfluous. Of the many ways she would rememb
er Rafe, this would be the sweetest. The evening quiet of this dimly lit room, the two armchairs, the glow of the fire on his face, his voice...
She could scarcely bear the sweetness now, while she was still with him, and to divert her mind from the sad prospects of the future, she asked, 'How did you get on with Janet?'
'Mmm?' Rafe looked at her vaguely, as though his mind had been on something else. 'Oh, Janet. She was a very cold, calculating bitch to the last. She said Penny had been telling stories. When I pointed out that Penny didn't really need to say anything, because the difference in her under your care told its own story, she refused to talk at all.'
'What did you do?'
'I paid her off. Physically she's well. In fact, she was going to fly back here at the end of the week. Now she's going to her mother's. I told her I wanted her out of my house by the end of the week. The housekeeper can send her things on if necessary. That's Penny's home as well as mine, and I can't bear to think of that creature there one moment longer than she has to be.'
'So it's over.'
'Yes.'
They were silent for a while, then Rafe told her, 'There'll be some disruption next week. I'm having men in to re-paint the villa white.'
'I'm glad about that.' But she was thinking: Sheena's gone, Janet's gone, I'm next. The way is clear for Angelique. Or was this place to be sold and the villa he was designing for Angelique really for both of them?
'When's Rich's farewell party?' he asked suddenly.
'Tuesday evening. You won't need me then, will you?'
'How will you get there and back?'
'I'll drive,' Elisa replied, surprised he was interested.
'On these roads, after you've been drinking? I could pick you up if you liked.'
'Oh.' She was touched by his offer, but she had to refuse it. She couldn't put herself in a situation with him where she might lose control. 'I can take or leave alcohol, and on Tuesday I'll leave it. I just want to say goodbye to Rich, and to my other friends as well. I'm off myself on Saturday.'
Rafe picked up a log, turned it in his hands as though he were considering something, then put it on the fire. 'You don't have to go. In fact, now you haven't a travelling companion, there's no reason why you shouldn't stay.'
Elisa could think of several. She was terrified of revealing her love for him. It was all pent up inside her, like a steam kettle just needing a mite more pressure to blow the lid right off. And, worse than that, she couldn't go on watching him with Angelique, she just couldn't.
'Well, Elisa?' he asked.
She watched the flames lick round the fresh log, anything rather than look at him. 'Babs has a new travelling partner lined up for me. I'll meet her when I go to Athens, and take it from there. Besides, it wouldn't be good for Penny if I stayed any longer. She's an affectionate child. I don't want her getting unduly attached to me.'
'You don't want to stay,' he said flatly.
'No.' She put down her glass and stood up. 'It's been a long day. Goodnight, Rafe.'
'Goodnight.'
It was the first time she'd broken up one of their fireside chats, and it took all her will-power. She couldn't even console herself that he was suffering the rejection she always felt when he walked away from her.
Tuesday evening, Elisa pinned her hair on top of her head, wore her silk dress with its myriad shades of blue, ruined the effect by putting a denim jacket over it, and drove down to the party. It really didn't matter what she looked like, because Rafe hadn't been there to see it.
He'd taken Penny over to Anne's for the afternoon and hadn't returned.
The party was a good one, and she was as miserable as sin.
When she was dancing with Rich, he said, 'This is your last chance to tell me why you really became a vagabond for a year.'
Why not? she thought. Austyn didn't hurt any more. 'I fell in love with a married man, an old problem you must have heard a million times before. I was looking for a cure.'
'Have you found it?'
'Yes.'
'You could have fooled me. I've never known you so quiet.'
'I'll liven up later,' Elisa assured him, smiling beautifully, but without her usual brilliance. 'I've been leading such a staid life lately, it's taking me a while to loosen up.'
But she never did loosen up. She spent a lot of time with Sue, who was in floods of tears because Rich was leaving and she'd failed to push their relationship beyond the friendship stage. Sue's heart broke and mended easily, but Elisa felt honour-bound to console her, even though she was certain her own heartbreak would never mend.
They walked back and forth along the beach, talking. Privately Elisa wondered how Sue would cope if she ever fell truly in love. That wasn't all she wondered about, either. Her mind kept going back to Rafe's offer to pick her up tonight. Had he merely been concerned for an employee, or worried about her, Elisa? And had he really wanted her to stay on at the villa because he would miss her, or merely to keep things running smoothly until Angelique took over, as she surely would?
I'll never make a femme fatale, she mused. I miss all my chances. I can't seize what little Rafe offers and make the most of it. I suppose it's because I know if I don't walk away from him, then he'll walk away from me. I suppose everybody has something they can't face up to...
Somewhere around eleven o'clock, Sue stopped crying. She rejoined the party and Elisa left it. Unable to laugh, unable to cry, she was prey to a terrible kind of anguish as she drove home. All the downstairs lights were on at the villa, streaming across the patios and loggias like a homing beacon.
So Rafe was still up. She didn't want to see him. If she did, she had the awful feeling she would walk straight into his arms, bury her face in his chest and say, Love me, even if it's only tonight.
The lid was coming off the steam kettle. She just wasn't safe.
Elisa parked at the side of the house. She could hear music. Something by Ravel. Moody, passionate, inspiring. The last thing she needed. She hoped it would cover the sound of her arrival, and let herself quietly in the front door. It wasn't as if Rafe was sitting up for her, he wouldn't be listening.
Elisa crossed the hall and was two or three steps up the stairs when Rafe came out of the sitting-room. He was wearing white trousers, a blue shirt, his eyes were not like ice and she almost died of love for him. She paused as he came towards her and asked, 'Were you going to bed without saying goodnight?'
'I didn't want to disturb you.'
'I could do with some company. I can't offer you a feast, but there's a fire and a drink.' Her hand was on the banister and he covered it with his. 'You're cold.'
Elisa's heart began to hammer. He hadn't taken his hand away. She thought: Don't do this to me, Rafe.
Don't flirt with me and make me happy, and then, just when I begin to believe in it, leave me cold. She slipped her hand from under his and hoped her smile was as deceitful as it was meant to be. 'I'll soon warm up under the shower, thanks all the same. I'm tired.'
'Wasn't it a good party?'
'Fine, but it's a bit dreary to keep saying goodbye. Enough is enough.'
Rafe's eyes went slowly over her. 'I'm surprised you were allowed to leave. I've never seen you looking more beautiful.'
He was flirting with her, damn him. He was playing a game while she was dying... 'Thank you,' she replied, 'but frankly I was overdressed among all that denim.'
'No, you're never over or underdressed, because you have a marvellous capacity for making everybody else look wrong. When I asked if you needed new clothes, I wasn't being critical, I thought you might want them. Sometimes I'm clumsy when I try to be nice. Out of practice, I suppose.'
'Oh.' She wished he would stop it. It would be so fatally easy to forget about Angelique, forget about everything... 'Well, what I want doesn't usually come into it. I'm limited to what I can carry in my backpack.'
'Yet you bought that dress for Rich's party.' It was another of his accusations, and a jealous one.
It
couldn't be. Once or twice before she'd thought he'd been jealous, but she'd always been proved wrong. Suddenly she knew she couldn't take any more. She had to get away from him before her head started believing what her heart wanted to believe. 'I bought it for myself. I'm a woman. I get these irresistible impulses sometimes. Goodnight, Rafe.' And she fled up the stairs.
Elisa showered, brushed her hair and put on an old cotton button-through shirt that doubled as a nightshirt. She slipped her feet into sandals in lieu of slippers, and prowled restlessly about the room. She wasn't cold now. The heat of the day seemed to be trapped in this sunny room and, besides, she was burning with emotion.
Rafe's music stopped. She heard him come upstairs, shower and go to his room at the other end of the passage. Perhaps this was what she'd been waiting for, knowing he was safely penned for the night, before going to sleep. She was turning down the covers on her bed when she remembered she hadn't looked in on Penny. It wasn't really necessary, but it was a habit she'd fallen into and habits were hard to break.
Penny's room was next to hers. Elisa went in. The curtains weren't drawn to, and there was enough moonlight to show her the bed was empty. She switched on the light to be sure, searched the bathroom, then ran along the passage to Rafe's door. The light was shining beneath it. She knocked hastily and rushed in.
Rafe was coming towards the door, and she almost fell into his arms. He was wearing a white towelling robe, his hair was still damp from his shower and he threw the book he was holding aside as he caught her. 'Penny's missing!' she burst out. 'She's not in her bed or the bathroom or --'
'She's at Anne's,' he told her. 'She fell asleep, so Anne put her to bed. She'll be all right. I'll go over to pick her up first thing. Anne has other guests. I didn't want to crowd her out so I came home.'
'Oh.' Of course it had to be something like that. 'I'm sorry I disturbed you.'
Rafe looked at her gleaming hair, her softly parted lips, her flushed cheeks and the thin shirt that teasingly revealed and concealed. He said none too steadily, 'You've disturbed me ever since I first set eyes on you. I don't think I can let you go. You'd better make a run for it.'
That Special Touch Page 15