But Elisa was looking into his eyes. Unbelievably, they were like lover's eyes. Her legs went weak. She couldn't move.
Rafe drew her towards him, slowly, still giving her the chance to break away. Then she was against his chest, his arms strengthened around her and the chance was lost. The touch of his body against hers eased the ache she had suffered from for so long, and she clung to him shamelessly.
His hand caressed her hair, slid sensuously down her neck and pushed the shirt off her shoulder. He kissed the exposed flesh and Elisa shuddered with ecstasy. The shudder communicated itself to him and he seized her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down and lay over her, showering passionate kisses over her face and neck.
Finally, when Elisa felt she could stand no more, he claimed her lips. It was bliss, such insatiable bliss, she was sure they were exchanging souls. Tears trickled from under her closed eyelids. Pride, fear, reserve—all were gone, swept away on the tide of mounting passion. She felt as though they were melting into each other and she asked for nothing more.
Elisa didn't feel him unbuttoning her shirt, but she felt him lift her as he pulled it from her. His robe was gone, she wasn't sure when, but her naked body was clasped to his and she gasped with pleasure. He was murmuring her name over and over again, and she didn't think there was one inch of her he left unkissed or uncaressed.
'Rafe,' she murmured, not knowing whether she was begging or demanding as wave after mounting wave of passion washed over her. 'Rafe...'
When he thrust into her she cried out, she couldn't help it, and he paused and stared at her. 'Elisa...'
She didn't want him to stop. Her arms slipped urgently down his back, urging him on. He thrust again, more violently than he intended, and she felt the pain and then the pleasure of possession.
He kissed her again all over her face and neck, hot, frantic kisses that seared her flesh wherever they fell. Then his urgency could no longer be contained and he begged, 'Move with me, Elisa. Move with me...'
She did as she was told, and with the physical pleasure she felt the spiritual joy of belonging to the man she loved. She cried again, silent tears of supreme happiness, and when he gave a great cry and collapsed against her she held him fiercely, as though guarding this man of hers in his moment of weakness. Now she knew what it was to be a woman. She asked for nothing more.
As their breathing returned to normal, he raised his head and kissed her lips tenderly. 'It will get better for you,' he said. 'Every time will get better.'
He seemed anxious, and she couldn't understand that. She hadn't wanted the moon alone, she'd wanted the stars as well, and he had given them to her. 'It couldn't,' she breathed. 'That was perfect, all I ever dreamed...'
'Why didn't you tell me you...' he began, but she stopped him by pressing her fingers against his lips.
'We don't need words tonight,' she told him, wanting him to understand that the afterglow of their love surpassed the need to communicate in any other way.
Rafe must have understood because he smiled, lay beside her and pulled her into his arms. There she fell asleep, at peace with the world, because her world was him and him alone. Tonight, anyway, and she couldn't— wouldn't!—see beyond tonight.
Elisa woke alone. She woke to many things. The greyness of dawn, the absence of Rafe, uncertainty, the grim reality of her very first thought—that, where she was his alone, she shared him with Angelique. She had to face up to the fact that what had been the summit of her life so far might only have been a passing pleasure for him. What happened now would be entirely up to Rafe. She wouldn't demand or expect anything.
Elisa showered, dressed in shorts and shirt, and stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn't sure what she saw there. Radiance, anxiety—a mixture of the two?
Taking a deep breath, and trying to behave as though this were just another morning, she went down to the kitchen. Rafe was leaning against a kitchen counter, dressed in jeans and short-sleeved, open-necked shirt, drinking the last of his coffee. His car keys were in his hand. She remembered then that he had to go pick up Penny.
If he'd come towards her, she'd have known everything was all right. He didn't. He put down his cup, straightened up. He looked awkward, and Rafe never looked awkward. My God, he was sorry, and he mustn't be sorry. That would spoil everything.
His first words confirmed her worst fears. 'Elisa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean last night to happen. I feel as guilty as hell. I said you'd be safe with me and I seduced you.'
Elisa walked over to the coffee-pot and poured herself a cup. Her legs felt stiff, her face felt stiff with the effort of not showing what she was feeling. 'It takes two, and I was willing.' She tried to sip her coffee, as though that was all there was to it, but she had to keep her back to him.
Rafe came over and touched her shoulder. His hesitancy made her cringe. 'You don't understand,' he told her. 'I've wanted you from the beginning. That's why I was so mad at you half the time. I thought I could hold out until Saturday when you left my employ. I should have known I couldn't. I'm the one with all the experience. You had none at all.'
She wished he'd come straight out with what was really bothering him, that she belonged to last night--and today and tomorrow belonged to Angelique. There was a simple way to tell her. Somehow, she hadn't thought Rafe would dodge an issue like that. He'd spoken his mind enough in the past, and he wasn't short of integrity.
Gently he turned her round to face him. 'Elisa, Penny needs a mother and I need a wife. Would you marry me?'
That was his integrity speaking. He felt he owed her something. She wanted to scream at him that she wanted a lover, not a human sacrifice. How long would it be before he realised she'd done exactly what Sheena had done, and separated him from Angelique? How long before the bitterness and resentment re-emerged? How could she do that to him? If she loved him a little less, perhaps, but --She twisted out of his arms and moved away from him. 'Angelique is better qualified for that role than I am.'
'Angelique?' He looked stunned. Had he really supposed she hadn't known about her?
'Yes, Angelique,-' she repeated, 'and you can stop feeling guilty about me. You see, I wasn't really making love to you at all last night. I was making love to Austyn. In my mind. There was never the opportunity with him. It was only a matter of time before 1 found the right substitute—you. I'm grateful and not sorry for a thing, so there's no reason for you to be.'
Elisa watched his face whiten. His ego was hurting, but when his fury passed he'd realise he was free. She hadn't mucked up his life. She couldn't do any more for him than that.
'You bitch,' he breathed, and he walked out on her, just as she knew he would.
She heard the Land Rover start up, heard it rev furiously along the track and followed the sound up to the road and beyond until it faded into nothing.
Nothing, which was precisely what she had.
Elisa felt sick. She ran water into the bowl, splashed it up into her face and she still felt sick. She would pack and she would leave. She would leave a note telling him where to find the car, and he would think up a plausible explanation for Penny. But first she'd go out and get some fresh air. This house was claustrophobic. Rafe was everywhere she looked.
She walked outside and looked at her watch. Rafe would be over an hour at the very least—the way he was feeling, he might be all day—but the workmen had started preparing the villa for re-painting and they would be here soon. Elisa sat on a chair under one of the loggias and rested her hot forehead against one of the cool supporting pillars. She was racked with dry, tearless sobs.
She was so deep in misery, she didn't hear the sound of an engine until the Land Rover forced itself into her attention by braking hard in front of the house. She looked up, saw Rafe jump out, and fled through the olive groves in mindless panic. She didn't know what had brought him back, she only knew she couldn't face him.
It never crossed her mind he would follow her, until she heard him pounding behind he
r. She gave a frightened glance back and saw him catching up fast. She couldn't outrun him. She stopped and turned to face him. 'What do you want?'
He stopped running, but stalked grimly up to her. 'I'm going to make love to you,' he told her savagely, 'and I'm going to keep on making love to you until you know exactly who is making love to you. Me!'
'Rafe, don't,' she begged, backing away.
He grabbed her and pulled her against him. He twisted a hand into her hair and pulled her head back until she was looking up at him. He looked at her long and hard, then he kissed her. Fiercely, provocatively, demanding a response she couldn't fail to give.
He raised his head and asked, 'Now who kissed you?'
'You,' she whispered.
'Say my name. Say it, damn you.'
'Rafe.' She started to cry.
'Don't think tears will save you,' he said in that same savage tone. He released her hair and his hand slid down her neck and shoulders to her breast. 'Who's touching you?' he demanded. 'Who?'
'You... Rafe.' She felt his hand on the buttons of her shirt and whimpered, 'Don't.'
'Christ, you hurt me! And now all you can say is "Don't".' He grasped her shoulders and shook her. 'What's the matter, don't I remind you of your precious Austyn any more?'
'Y-you n-never did,' she stuttered. 'I m-made that up because you h-hurt me with all t-that talk about b-being Penny's mother and y-your wife, but n-never a word about l-loving me.'
His expression changed and he stared at her. 'Not loving you? Do you think I could have made love to you like that last night and not love you? I've been going out of my mind with love for you. Why the hell do you think I kept walking away from you? I forced you here, I promised you'd be safe. I couldn't very well seduce you, could I? Then last night --'
Rafe took a shuddering breath and went on more calmly, 'Last night I couldn't walk away. This morning I thought a girl who's waited twenty-five years to make love was waiting until she was married. I thought I'd over-persuaded you and that you might hate me for it. If I said all the wrong things, if I was clumsy, it was because I was scared stiff of losing you. But frankly, Elisa, it never crossed my mind you didn't know I loved you. I thought that had been painfully obvious for weeks. It has been to me.'
'Oh.' Elisa reached blindly for him, buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed in earnest. He picked her up, sat down with his back to an olive tree and cradled her in his arms. He kissed whatever parts of her he could reach, murmuring his love for her until her sobs began to subside.
Then he prised her face out of his shoulder, found a handkerchief, wiped her eyes and told her to blow her nose. 'I love your indigo eyes,' he told her softly. 'I've always thought of them as deep-water eyes, but I've had enough of seeing them at flood-tide. Smile for me, Elisa.'
'I can't. I must look terrible.'
'You do, and I love you.'
Tears welled up again and he hastily kissed them away. 'That's better,' he approved when she smiled tremulously at him, 'now you can tell me why you wanted me to marry Angelique.'
'I thought you wanted to marry her. Anne told me how Sheena broke you up once, and I thought you'd hate me if I did it a second time.'
'Elisa, if I'd ever loved Angelique, nobody could have broken us up. We're very good friends, we're close, but that special something has always been missing.' He kissed her lingeringly and explained, 'That sort of special something. Anne looked on us as an ideal couple, but Angelique and I knew it would never work out. What about you and Austyn?'
'I haven't thought of him for weeks, and when I did it was to realise I never really loved him. I was never out of control, the way I am with you. I'm sorry I cried so much. My heart was breaking --'
'No, it wasn't,' he broke in, 'it was mending just like mine.'
'Rafe, if you don't stop being nice to me, I shall start crying again,' she threatened.
He kissed her nose. 'You cry when I'm nasty, you cry when I'm nice. I can't win, can I?'
'It's not funny. I was going to run away. I didn't think you'd come back. I was so sure you'd never want to see me again.'
'It was fear of that,' he told her tenderly, 'that brought me back. Mad as I was, I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, and fear brings out the worst in me. If I was going to suffer, I was going to make damn sure you suffered with me. Not a very nice character, am I?'
'No, horrible,' Elisa agreed lovingly. 'I thought you were going to murder me.'
'That, too. Whatever it took to keep you with me.' He was bending to kiss her, but the sound of a lorry arriving at the villa made him look up. 'The workmen,' he said, 'and much as I'd like to stay here all day, we have to pick up Penny. I don't want two neurotic females weeping all over me.'
'We're not neurotic. We just need to know we're loved.'
Rafe looked at her seriously, his blue eyes unsmiling. 'You are.'
'So are you,' Elisa whispered. 'So much...'
That Special Touch Page 16