Finding Laila: Some Changes are Necessary

by T. K. Rapp

  “Nice house,” she offers, looking at pictures that Mom has covering the walls.

  “Thanks,” I say as we enter the kitchen. “Dad, this is Bailey, Joey’s girlfriend. Bailey, this is my dad.”

  “Nice to meet you, Mr. Nixon.” She smiles and extends her dainty hand in greeting.

  “Wow, Laila, you ditched the guys for once?” He laughs. “Nice to meet you, Bailey. Joey treating you all right?”

  Her cheeks flame and she grins happily. “He really is.”

  “Good. So what do you ladies have planned for the night?”

  “Ah, the usual—debauchery, trouble, and of course vandalism,” I tease.

  “That’s my girl,” he says and looks through the waiting unopened mail on the counter.

  “We’re going to grab something to eat and then come back here to watch a movie. So we get the theater room?”

  “It’s all yours.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” I give him a hug and we start to leave, but Dad’s voice stops me.

  “Hey Bailey, word of advice: don’t let Laila pick out the movie—it’s always blood and gore.”

  I laugh and wave him off, but Bailey looks mildly concerned.

  “I got The Heat, we’re good.”

  We drive to the nearest pizza place, a tiny restaurant we used to go to every Friday when I was a kid. The same family has owned it for years and they always give us hugs and gush over Luka when we come in. We take a seat at one of the ten tables there and the waiter hands Bailey a menu. They all know me and I always know what I want.

  “You two always like that?” she asks over her menu.

  “Dad and me? Pretty much. Mom, too. It’s pretty laid back in our house,” I offer.

  “That’s cool. I wish my parents were fun,” she mutters.

  “What’s not fun about them?”

  “Don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad parents. I mean, I know things could be worse, but Dad travels a lot and Mom works downtown. When they are around, it feels like business.”

  “Funny, sometimes I wish mine weren’t around so much. I mean, they are always home—I feel like I never have a moment to myself unless I get out of the house.”

  “So that’s why you invited me over,” she laughs.

  “Yep—diversion. They’ll leave me alone if you’re there.”

  “What about the guys?”

  “What about them?”

  “Do they go to your house a lot?”

  “We never really have a plan, except Sunday.”

  “What’s Sunday?”

  “Sunday night, we meet up and hang out for an hour or so. During the week, we may or may not see each other outside of school—everyone has something,” I cock my head to the side and widen my eyes, “or someone—to keep them busy.” I laugh and Bailey’s cheeks turn a shade of crimson as she joins in.

  “So why aren’t you friends with anyone but the guys?”

  “You mean why aren’t any of my friends girls?”

  “Yeah. You gotta admit, it’s a little weird.”

  “Not to me. They were the first people I met when I moved here and accepted me when no one else did. I love the guys. Besides, in my experience, when I’ve tried to be friends with girls it bites me in the ass.”

  “You mean like Cate?”

  “Cate, Jackie, Meghan, Paisley, Ellie, Carter—want me to keep going?”

  “No—I’ve heard it all,” she mutters.

  “So then why did you accept my invitation, knowing everything that people say about me—more specifically, me and the guys?”

  “Honestly?”

  I nod, prompting her to continue.

  “You know that saying ‘keep your enemies close’?”

  “So you see me as an enemy?” I ask, taken aback by her bluntness.

  “When Joey and I first started talking, I knew that you were close. I thought that maybe he liked you or something. There was always some story that featured Laila. But I really started to like him anyway, so I had to ask him.”

  “And?”

  “Friends,” she says simply. “He said that you are his best friend and that’s all.”

  “It’s true.”

  “I know. Now. I mean, before it was just his word and I hadn’t talked to you, so I figured I might as well get to know you and make an opinion of my own.”

  “So what’s your opinion now?”

  “I think you are nothing like people say you are. I’ve seen you this week when we’ve had lunch—the way you are with the guys. The five of you look after each other. I mean, you guys really are friends—what friends should be.”

  “Yeah, we are. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for those guys.”

  “Including having their girlfriends over to try to get to know them,” she says about our hangout.

  “Pretty much. Even when I know she doesn’t really like me much,” I grin.

  “She actually thinks you’re pretty cool—and it helps that you’re dating Haden,” she laughs.

  I return her smile as I think about Haden and the gallery closing tonight.

  “Do you really want to see a movie or would you rather come with me to see the guys at the gallery?”

  “Dressed like this?” she waves her hands between us.

  “Yep, just like this,” I almost sing.

  “All right, let’s eat and get out of here.”

  Chapter 11 ~ Finding Futures

  We pull into the parking lot and I spot Haden immediately. He looks much more relaxed than he did when the exhibit opened two weeks ago. He’s talking to Cole, who says something and Haden laughs, revealing his beautiful smile. When Cole walks away, Haden looks out the window and for a moment I suspect that he can see me, so of course I feel like a creeper. He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands into his pockets like he’s trying to appear relaxed and all I can think is that I want to be there, next to him.

  Every time I’m with Haden, he makes me feel special—like I’m the only girl for him.

  “Are we going to stare at your boyfriend all night or are we going inside?” Bailey asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

  “We are definitely going inside,” I grin.

  As we make the short walk up to the entrance, Haden spots me and holds the door open to let us in.

  “I thought it was girl’s night,” Haden asks as he sweeps me into a hug.

  “It is,” I smile. “We wanted to stop by for a few minutes. It’s the last night of your show and I really wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you—for doing this.”

  “Thanks for being here,” he whispers into my ear. “How’s it going with Bailey?”

  I step back next to her and she cranes her neck looking around the room for Joey.

  “I don’t see him,” she mutters.

  “See who?” I hear Joey behind us and smile at her.

  “Hey, there you are,” Bailey says as I move to hug the rest of the guys.

  “Wow, ladies, don’t get all dressed up or anything,” Cole teases and I roll my eyes.

  “Not everyone can look as hot as you guys. Y’all look nice,” I comment. Each has on a dress shirt and slacks or dark jeans—either way, they clean up good.

  “So what are you doing here?” Joey asks us.

  “We wanted to come by for Haden’s last night in the gallery,” Bailey says. “Have you seen it yet?”

  Joey shakes his head and grabs her hand to see the artwork, leaving the four of us behind. Bailey and I are really underdressed for tonight, but fortunately we’re here early, so we can sneak out before the fancy crowd arrives.

  “What’s everyone doing later?” I ask.

  Apparently it is the wrong question, because the guys look at each other as if they’ve been caught; but before I can get clarification, Cole and Braxton call out to Joey and follow behind them.

  “What was that all about?” I ask, pointing to our friends who are out of earshot.

  “Nothing,” Haden lies easily.

  “Okay.” />
  “Okay?”

  “Yeah, I mean, you know I’m going to find out anyway—if not from you, then Joey.”

  “You are brutal.” He reaches out to hold my hand. “You didn’t hear it from me, but they were planning on going back to Brax’s place to talk with his mom about your party.”

  “Haden,” I groan and lean my forehead against his chest. He kisses the top of my head and hugs me.

  “The party is barely about you. You were right: it’s an excuse to have a party. Period. So let ’em plan it, and that night we’ll show up, you’ll look amazing and smile, and then ten minutes later we’ll leave.”

  I look up into those icy blue eyes with my own pleading. “Promise?”

  “Any excuse to be alone with you.” He smiles.

  Our moment is cut short when Bailey comes over and drags me away from Haden. I turn back and laugh when I see the confused look on his face.

  “How long have you two been together?” she whispers conspiratorially.

  “Two weeks-ish.” I shrug. “Why?”

  She looks over to make sure Haden’s gone, which he is, and then she continues. “It’s just—I mean, if people ever thought anyone else stood a chance with him, one look at his artwork and they’d know you two belong together.”

  “Yeah, I was pretty blown away, too,” I agree.

  “That ‘Future’ one is amazing,” she gushes, but I can only look at her with confusion.

  “Yeah, the one of his parents—it’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask, recalling the sad image.

  She shakes her head and pulls my hand to drag me behind her. “Not that one,” she mutters.

  Cole, Braxton, and Joey are still going through the first wall when she pulls me to an image I haven’t seen before.

  “This one.”

  There is an eye, on a huge canvas—it takes up the entire surface. In the center of the pupil is a woman facing a man with so many intricate details, it’s hard to make them all out. The woman looks like me, maybe slightly older, and the man looks like Haden. There are parts colored in, though the entire piece is not, giving it an almost incomplete look.

  “This wasn’t here opening night,” I tell her, mesmerized by everything I’m seeing.

  “Did you see the title?” she asks.

  I look over to the far bottom right at the placard and my heart almost stops. I feel the blood rush from my head and it’s as if I’m about to pass out.

  Future

  This is too much. I love Haden, but it’s too soon.

  “Hey, Bailey, you ready to get out of here?” I ask a little louder than necessary.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, let’s leave the guys to their night,” I answer, still distracted by the image.

  “‘Kay, let me say bye to Joey.”

  “I’ll meet you out front,” I call after her.

  I’m not sure where Haden went, but I’m too stunned to worry about it. I make my way to the exit when Haden calls my name, stopping me in my tracks.

  “Hey, where’re you going?” He walks over to me with his charming grin that doesn’t erase what I just saw.

  “Bailey’s saying bye to Joey and we’re going to head out. You know, movie night.” I try to smile convincingly at him.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just ready to start the movie,” I over-exaggerate.

  Thank God! I see Bailey rushing over toward us.

  “You ready?” she asks.

  “Call me later,” I tell Haden before turning around to leave.

  “Lai? Can you give me sec?” Haden asks.

  I lift a finger to Bailey, indicating I’ll be right back, and walk over to a nervous-looking Haden.

  “What’s up?” I try for my usual demeanor, but it’s coming off like I’m a jerk.

  “You saw the newest one, didn’t you?” he asks, but it’s not exactly a question.

  “No. I mean, yeah—I di—it’s beautiful,” I concede.

  “Look, don’t freak out about it, okay.” He runs his hand through his hair.

  “I’m not,” I straighten my posture, hoping it backs up my words. Because I am absolutely freaking out.

  “Yes you are, and I want to talk to you about it. Tomorrow? Quarry?”

  “Yeah, okay,” I agree, even though every part of my head tells me to avoid. Just when I feel that I find my footing, he does something else monumental to throw me off.

  He wraps his arms around me and I return the embrace and exhale a deep breath. When we separate, he holds onto my arms so he can look me in the eye as if he can read my mind.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kisses me and I walk off to catch up with Bailey, who saw the entire exchange.

  “What was that all about?”

  “Can we not talk about it? Actually, can we pretend we ate pizza and went straight to my place to watch the movie?”

  She nods and walks in sync next to me. “Movie it is.” She raises her fist in the air, agreeing to let the last thirty or so minutes disappear from memory.

  * * *

  The movie finishes and we’re both still laughing as we recount our favorite parts.

  “What time are your parents expecting you home?”

  “They’re not,” she shrugs. “They had an event downtown, so I’ll see them tomorrow.”

  “If you want, you can stay the night.”

  “Are you asking me because you feel sorry for me, or because you still need a buffer from Haden?”

  “Buffer,” I answer easily.

  “Good answer. You didn’t lie. I’ll stay,” she grins.

  We head to my room and she walks to my bookshelves, glancing at the titles. She seems impressed—and considering it’s four shelves high, three feet wide, and completely overrun with books, she should be. My books are my prized possessions and I’ve read most of them at least twice. She grabs my iPad off the desk and holds it up, asking permission to use it.

  “Yeah, no password, go for it.”

  “Do you ever read on devices?”

  “Not really, I like to actually turn the pages and smell the book.”

  “That’s weird,” she laughs.

  “Yeah, I blame my mom. You should see her shelf, makes mine look pathetic. What about you?”

  “I’m not a big reader.” She waves me over. “I’m a shopper.”

  “So I guessed,” I tease. “What are you shopping for?”

  “Just looking at some outfits for your party.”

  “I told you, I don’t shop un—”

  “Unless it’s online,” she finishes. “So let’s see what we can find.”

  She starts bringing up different dresses, but I reject them before she can fully turn the device to face me. I don’t mind wearing a dress, but for a birthday party—more specifically my birthday party—dresses will be a no-go, because I want to be comfortable.

  “C’mon, you have to like at least one of these,” she whines.

  “Bailey, I’m not exactly a dress type of girl,” I defend.

  “But it’s your eighteenth, and the guys are throwing you a party—”

  “—That I don’t want,” I interrupt. “The guys know how much I hate parties, they just want an excuse, and that’s fine, but I don’t plan on sticking around all night.”

  “Why not? You’re going to bail out on it?”

  “People talk about me all the time. These same people are coming to a party in my honor—do I really want to be there?” I ask, trying to explain my reasoning.

  “I guess not. But what if the guys limit the people they invite?”

  “You’re talking about four very different guys who are friends with very different groups of people. I’m not the most hated person in school, but I’m not the most liked either—these people aren’t coming for me.”

  “Haden doesn’t talk to anyone but y’all,” she counters. “If you five weren’t friends I don’t think he would talk to anyone. Being around all of you is the most I’ve ever he
ard him speak. I didn’t know he had such a sexy voice.”

  I narrow my eyes at her and she laughs.

  “You know I’m right.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” I answer.

  “So why did you freak out tonight?”

  “I didn’t freak out,” I argue even though I know she’s right.

  “Laila, you were almost catatonic.”

  I level her with a glare, “Now you’re being dramatic.”

  “Am I? Then why did you leave in such a hurry after seeing that painting?”

  I stand up and walk toward my closet only to spin and face her. I can’t find the right words to explain my thoughts. It was a beautiful image, but the subject matter is terrifying to an almost-eighteen-year-old—especially one that only just started dating her best friend and found out that he’s been in love with her since…forever.

  I throw my hands up in the air and flop myself on top of the bed to stare at my ceiling.

  “I love it, it’s by far his best piece. The details, the colors and lack of colors, it was perfect. But it was also too much. We’ve only been together for a couple of weeks and that had our entire future wrapped up in a single image. I’m seventeen. I’m thinking of college and career—not marriage and forevers.”

  “If you don’t mind two cents from a third-party observer, I think you’re reading too much into it. Yes, it looked like the two of you in the future—and sure the title itself is a bit overwhelming.”

  “Your point?” I ask in exasperation.

  “Why don’t you look at it as he sees you two going the distance? I’m not saying you’re going to get married tomorrow, but who’s to say that after college you don’t end up together? Go through all those couple-y things together? If you ask me, I think it’s romantic that he sees a future with you, not the future.”

  “Are you trying to be all sensible, become my friend, and get in good with me so you can be my maid of honor?” I deadpan. “Because I think Joey has that spot already taken.”

  “You really aren’t good at being friends with girls, are you?” she teases. “But yes, I am trying to be a friend and I think you need to chill out. It was artwork, not a proposal.”

  “I have to ask, based on other experiences with my friends’ girlfriends.” I pause and check to see that I have her attention. “Let’s just say that you and Joey break up—how long before you’re gossiping about me like the others?”