The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly)

by Sidebottom, D H

  I reached out and stroked a finger along his chin, the slight stubble tickling the pad of my finger. His gaze darkened as I touched him, his eyes blackening as his lips parted. “You should smile more often. You’re so very handsome.”

  He frowned, showing me the customary creased forehead and the pain that lived on every single feature of his face. “The devil wears many masks, Mae.”

  I smiled at him. “And an angel has many personalities.”

  He lifted his fingers to mine, framing my hold on his face. He took my hand under him and slid it upwards into his hair. “Can you feel the horns, lamb?”

  I laughed softly when he smiled again. “There’s only one horn I can feel right now, and it’s definitely not on your head.”

  His eyes widened before he laughed loudly. “And that,” he grinned as he tapped my nose, “was the last thing I expected from you.” He ground his erection into my lower belly with a wicked glint in his eye.

  “I’m simply stating facts, Master.”

  He smirked and a shiver trickled down my spine as desire hung heavy between us. “And if I was to say you are wet for me, would that be stating another fact?”

  “Yes.”

  “And if I were to lift you up and bury my face between your legs, drive my tongue hard inside you, I would taste your sweet arousal, would that be stating another fact?”

  My mouth dried and I struggled to sound words. “Yes.”

  “And if I were to slide my finger inside your pussy and stroke that delicious little place inside you, I would make you scream for more. Would that be stating a fact?”

  “Oh God, yes. Very much so.”

  He pushed me over until I was on my back and covered me with himself. His mouth was on mine in seconds, his tongue darting between my lips to find mine. He groaned when I fought with him, devouring his mouth as I pulled him closer by his hair. He battled back, his teeth biting as his tongue fucked my mouth. I lifted my legs, wrapping him between them so I could hold him further against me. His cock slid deliciously between my thighs, rubbing over my swollen clit and firing a blast of pleasure through me. I moaned into his mouth, asking, begging for more.

  He pulled back, his eyes hard on mine. “Why?” He looked shocked at his own question and I frowned.

  “Why? Why what?”

  “I don’t… It’s just…” He gritted his teeth when the words wouldn’t voice. He changed route instantly and dropped his face to my breasts. My back arched when he sucked at my nipple, drawing it deep into his warm mouth and tracing the edge with the tip of his tongue. My fingers dug into his hair, holding him in place so he would give me more.

  He moved across my chest, placing gentle tiny kisses along the route until he found my other breast. My body was on fire, the need inside me increasing until it became unbearable.

  “I need you.” It was said with instinct, lust controlling everything in my system. It took over; craving, searching for its high, hunting for anything that could give it satisfaction, and urgency demanding the drug that pleasured. “God, I need you so much.”

  His heavy aroused breaths brushed down my belly as he made his way past my navel, his tongue flicking out to torment on his adventure. He practically yanked my legs apart. His gaze dropped from my face until he was staring at the most intimate part of me. I lowered my hands to cover myself, regretting it immediately when his eyes narrowed and he growled. “Never hide yourself from me, Mae. That is something I will not tolerate.”

  I nodded quickly, moving my hands until they dropped by my side and I fisted the bed sheet. “Oh!” I cried out when he grabbed my legs and flung them over his shoulders, the action lifting my hips off the bed and placing my pussy directly in front of his face.

  “Have you ever had a man’s mouth on you, lamb? His tongue in your tight little cunt?”

  I looked down at him and shook my head. The smile that covered his face could only be described as completely and utterly filthy.

  A shudder of pleasure rolled over me when he trailed his tongue all the way up me. “Oh, shit!” I muttered when he circled around my clit then suddenly dipped the length of his tongue inside me.

  “Watch!” he demanded as he locked eyes with me.

  I nodded, watching him furiously eat me. He wasn’t delicate; he completely destroyed me, his mouth idolising, torturing, pleasuring, consuming until nothing existed in my head, only a deep-seated fury to climax.

  I grabbed at his head, forcing him to pleasure me, demanding that he bring me off when I couldn’t take any more.

  “That’s it, Mae. Give me what you have.” He growled as my orgasm ripped into me. Every single muscle cried out in both delight and torture as my body shifted away from itself. My shoulders and my Master’s shoulders were the only things supporting me as ecstasy made me fly.

  He climbed up my body, placing random little kisses on his journey up. “And now it’s my turn.” He grinned and watched my face when he nudged his cock inside me slowly. I daren’t remove my eyes from his as I watched something slide across his face. His teeth sank into his lower lip, pulling the plump flesh further into his mouth the deeper inside me he slid. “I don’t know what the hell it is about you, Mae.”

  I lifted my hips to meet his. His deep groan matched my own as pleasure curled through us both. He started to move inside me, rocking rhythmically but gently. Each time he pushed in, I pushed towards him, loving the way his eyes glinted in pleasure as we fucked each other. Tension built in both of us as the pace increased and we drove one another hard.

  He slid his hands under me, holding me to him as he rolled over. I placed my hands on his chest, my thighs clamping his waist as I stared at him. “I… I don’t know what to do. I’ve never….”

  He slid his palms up my thighs until he was holding my hips. “Take me whichever way you want, lamb. Instinct will take over.”

  Nerves got the better of me and I sat on him, immobilised. He smiled softly, waiting until I was ready. His cock had buried even deeper with the position and I shivered when he throbbed inside me. Lust took control and told my body what to do when I lifted gently off him. He nodded and groaned when I slowly lowered back down on him. “That’s it, you got this.”

  I began to move faster and harder, taking from him what my body demanded until I was riding him hard. “Come here,” he ordered as he gripped my arms and pulled me towards him.

  My chest squashed against the deep contours of him, my nipples rubbing over his short chest hair. He pulled at my backside, opening me wider to him as he held me still and thrust frantically inside me. I growled loudly when he slipped a finger into my anus. I had never felt such extreme bliss, such a thrilling gratification as I rocked back against him. “That’s it, my darling, take and give.”

  He started to finger my arse in rhythm to his cock fucking my pussy. The overwhelming fullness sent pulses of pleasure around my body and into my brain, taking my inhibitions and destroying them along with any pain inside my soul.

  Something bubbled inside me, something deep that wanted to free itself. Unidentified words formed in my mind, pushing at my boundaries of denial as they tackled the part of me that rejected them. I couldn’t allow them. They weren’t the truth; I refused to let them be the truth as I searched Master’s eyes. He didn’t feel it, he would never feel it. I would be leaving this world unloved and alone.

  He shushed me when tears slid down my face. My mind wept as heartache mixed with pleasure and an orgasm rolled over me, ravishing my body in ecstasy as my soul sobbed in sorrow. Despair blended with rapture when he yanked me harder onto him and filled me with himself. “Fuck!” he cried out as his climax unexpectedly hit. “Fuck… Mae.”

  I pushed onto him, draining every drop from him as a sob of sorrow brought back memories. His sperm mocked me as it reminded me.

  “I…” I shook my head angrily and climbed off him.

  “Mae?”

  I was so confused as my orgasm still held my body in a shiver of pleasure, but my min
d reminded of my hatred towards the only man who had ever given me pleasure. I couldn’t control the fight of emotion inside me. He hurt me but he thrilled me, he lit my body up as the disease darkened it and he fed my heart as cancer destroyed my brain.

  “There’s something I need to tell you,” I whispered, refusing to turn around. I didn’t want to see his face when I told him.

  “Mae?”

  I heard him shuffle behind me. I stiffened when he gently took my shoulders and tried to turn me around.

  “No, I can’t…”

  “What is it? Tell me.”

  “I…God damn…” My heart was screaming at me to tell him as my mind told me to shut the fuck up. I didn’t know what would become of my truths. Would it cause deeper despair or could I leave knowing that I had done the right thing?

  “Are you scared?”

  I turned to him. “Of death?”

  “Yes.”

  “Not especially. I’m terrified of dying in pain but as for the actual thing, then no. I’m ready for whatever comes after… this.”

  His expression saddened, and I softly cupped his face. He nuzzled into me and kissed the palm of my hand. “I’ve never…” I waited for him to continue but he shook his head and smiled. “If you had the choice and could decide your own fate and leave when you want to, would you?”

  I nodded. “Yes. That’s what frightens me, having no control over it. I want to go on my terms. I’m ready and waiting, and while God prefers to play with my life, the lingering is crippling me.”

  He placed his hand over mine. “Your strength astounds me. Your acceptance and understanding aches at me. I know why you never fought, lamb, why you accepted your fate and prepared for it, and I wish beyond anything that there was something in this life that could have made you fight and hold on.”

  “There was only ever one thing that battled with that decision.”

  He frowned, his head cocked slightly. “And that is?”

  I paused as I swallowed back the worry, but I needed to free the truth and have faith for the first time in my life, and hope I was doing the right thing.

  A tear raced down my face as images flashed behind my eyes and my heart cried out. “We have a daughter.”

  Chapter Twenty

  ‘In to Hell Heaven drags us.’

  He stared at me. His face was unemotional, and if it wasn’t for the slight tic in his right cheek I would have thought he hadn’t heard me. My heart raced uncontrollably in my chest, blood rushing through my system, making me lightheaded.

  “You’re lying,” he hissed as he snapped his fingers around my upper arms. “You are lying.” He shook me so hard my brain bounced around my skull, knocking the swollen part until agony pierced my pain barrier. I squinted at him as nausea threatened. “WHY?”

  “I’m not lying to you.”

  “You must be. I have watched you, every year, I watched you. I have never witnessed a child.”

  “She was born November the fifth, bonfire night. Six weeks before your first annual visit.”

  I watched as different questions crossed his face, each as confusing as the last. The first was as I had expected. “Where is she?”

  “It doesn’t matter where she is. You will never see her.”

  Fury erupted from him and he was instantly upon me, my back slamming the wall as he imprisoned me under him. His fingers circled my throat tightly but I took his rage, devoured it, because it was the only thing that overruled the pain in my heart.

  “Where – is – she?”

  His grip tightened until all I could do was allow it. His eyes blazed as furious torrents of hot air raged from his nostrils. He screamed and dropped me. He paced across the room as he ran his fingers through his thick hair, turning it into a nest of chaotic black disarray. He turned to me with narrow eyes. “Are you sure she’s mine?”

  My jaw dropped. “How dare you! You really think that after what you did to me that I would go out and seek lovers?”

  “I obviously know nothing about you, Mae.”

  I scoffed and shook my head. “I am a woman, Master. I’m sorry for the way my body works, but did you never consider the outcome of raping someone without using protection? I mean, it wasn’t as though I had a choice in the matter, but you did.”

  He ran his hands over his face and groaned. “Sweet fucking Jesus. I…”

  “You what? You actually care about another human being, child or adult? No, you don’t so don’t even pretend to care where she is.”

  He spun round. “You know nothing about me, Mae. You have no idea what I feel or don’t feel.”

  “So come on then, surprise me. Who do you care about, other than yourself, that is?”

  “I…” His mouth snapped closed as soon as it had opened. He blinked furiously then inhaled and sank onto the bottom of the bed. “How am I supposed to care for my child when I knew nothing of her existence? Tell me that.”

  I couldn’t answer his question but I had one of my own. “Are you even capable of caring? Of loving?”

  His eyes shot up to mine. He paused, reaching inside me with his gaze. “Yes, Mae. I am very much capable of loving.”

  His words brought a shiver and I turned from him, not allowing him to see the thoughts in my head. “Well she’s cared for. Something I am unable to do.”

  “Did you know of your tumour when you had her?”

  “No.” I shook my head and sighed. “But I couldn’t give her much and she deserved to have more than the horror that brought her into this world. She must never know how she was created. That is something I won’t spoil her with.”

  He nodded. “Do you see her?”

  I swallowed back the bile of sorrow. “No. She is too innocent to see me. I am a phantom of her nightmares and she deserves dreams and fairy-tales.”

  “You gave her away?”

  “No, I didn’t,” I snapped. “I gave her a chance at life. I killed myself to give her a life with someone who can give her the good things in life. I destroyed myself when I handed her over so don’t you dare fucking judge me.”

  He shook his head briskly. “I’m not judging you, Mae.”

  He lifted from the bed and walked towards me. I swiped at the tears that fell. He stood before me and turned my face back to his when I refused to look at him. His hand pressed against the side of my face as his thumb wiped away the wetness from my cheeks. “What have I done to you?” he whispered.

  My heart cracked and I gazed at him. “You decimated me, Daniel. You annihilated every single good part of me and structured hatred. I’m glad I’m dying because there is only so much abhorrence you can live with until you become an abomination of existence.”

  “You never stood a chance, Mae. He wanted you with a debilitating need.”

  “Who did?” I questioned. “I don’t understand.”

  He shook his head and turned again. I watched as he opened one of the doors and disappeared inside. Everything was numb, blurred around the edges. His confusing declaration didn’t make any sense.

  “Who wanted me?” I asked again as I stood at the door to his walk-in wardrobe and watched him pull on numerous clothes.

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it bloody matters. This is my life. If it wasn’t you, then who?” He didn’t answer me so I took a guess. “Your father?”

  He shook his head as he pulled on a dark blue t-shirt with some foreign words emblazed on the front. I frowned deeper. I had really thought it was his father that had given the order for me to be the next auction. “You mean you work for someone else?”

  Panic set in. Was Tony aware of this? He hadn’t mentioned anything and now I was even more troubled. “Daniel, tell me please.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s done. Nothing we can do to change it now.”

  “No, Daniel.” I didn’t care that I used his name. I didn’t think it even bothered him. “I need to know. It’s important.”

  This was bigger than I thought if outsiders ra
n the business. I didn’t even know how to alert Tony to this information but I knew within my bones that I needed to. “If it isn’t your father, then who?”

  He frowned, suspicious over my frantic questioning. “Why does it matter?” Suddenly his eyes widened and he grabbed at me. “Who knew about our daughter?”

  I shook my head as he raged at me. What the hell? The terror on his face added to my own anguish. “Why?”

  “WHO KNOWS?”

  I blinked at him as he shouted at me. “I…”

  “Fuck, Mae!” He was frantic, fear shaking him as he demanded an answer. I knew deep down that it was important.

  “Just Spud.”

  He blanched, the colour on his face draining rapidly as his breathing became uncontrollable. “No!” He shook his head.

  My legs wobbled and I stared wide-eyed. “No, not Spud. He’s my friend!”

  Anguish and guilt covered his face. “No, he isn’t.”

  “Yes he is,” I whispered as my heart broke. “He’s the… only friend I have. Please don’t take that from me as well.”

  “I’m so sorry, lamb,” he whispered as he pulled me to him and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. “He’s… Spud’s real name is Franco Genole. He... he…” He blew out a breath and shivered. “He… oh my God, this is so hard.”

  “What is? Tell me.”

  He took my hand and led me over to a small couch in the corner of his room. He sat me down and settled beside me, refusing to let go of my hands, his grip firm and almost painful. He swallowed again before he blew the truths of my past into smithereens.

  “This… business has been operating for roughly twelve years. Franco took it over from his father. Besides what you may think, it is very, very lucrative. It earns Franco and my father millions every year.” I nodded, urging him to go on. “Franco and another were the main leaders, with my father just an apprentice back then. Franco became greedy, his thirst for power and money unquenchable. “