“And you?”
He shrugged. “I was… I’m not going to lie to you, Mae. I enjoy it. I was brought in six years ago as an auctioneer and hunter.”
“You hunted for victims?”
He nodded and dropped his eyes. “Yes. I hunt for girls that I know will make us a lot of money at auction. I prowl parties, universities, bars, even local parks.”
I nodded as nausea curled deep. “But why rape them?”
“Because it destroys them.”
“What the…”
“It’s part of the game, Mae. The destruction. I rape them, plant the device that allows me to grant access to them. Their lives are recorded immediately, their stats and images uploaded onto the website so buyers bid immediately. The bids grow in retrospect to how the stocks… sorry victims, to how they deal with life after. If they sink, they don’t make it far but the ones like you, who fight back, they entice the buyers, turn them on. I believe that is why you saw an overwhelming amount of bids.”
I stared at him. I couldn’t find words to voice how I was feeling. “Why… me? Why did you choose me?”
“That’s just it.” He shook his head. “I didn’t. For the first time ever I was sent to you specifically. I’d watched you for a while, wondering what it was about you that Franco wanted. Yes, you’re beautiful and strong but I’d never been given an actual target before.”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
He sighed and lifted my hands to his mouth. He kissed my knuckles and swallowed. “Franco’s partner in the early years was…” He closed his eyes. “Your father.”
I screamed at him and slapped his face, pulling my hands out of his. “Don’t fucking lie. It’s you! It’s you who’s done this. You…” I punched at him, desperately trying to hurt him as his lies finally murdered my soul, burned it within me until all that was left was dust and agony. “Don’t lie to make yourself look better. He was a cop, a damn good one.”
He grabbed at my wrists, his fingers holding me in a vice as he attempted to control me. “I’m not lying. Your father came across Franco’s operation in the early days. But instead of reporting it, ending it, he fed the damn thing and made it what it is. He was the brains behind it.”
“NO!”
“Yes, Mae. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry but now we have to face the fact we have a bigger problem.”
“No.” I grabbed at him frantically. “Oh God, no. Don’t let him hurt her, Daniel. Please. I don’t understand what he has against me if my father worked with him.”
He looked away. “Your father fell in love with a particular girl.”
I blinked. “What? He loved my mother.”
Daniel shrugged. “That is irrelevant. He fell in love with Franco’s wife.”
My eyes closed slowly as understanding slid in. “All this for revenge?”
“I’m afraid so. Your parents didn’t die in a one off car crash, lamb.”
It was all becoming too much. My head throbbed as my brain struggled with knowledge and hidden truths. “I…” I sagged as numbness overwhelmed me. “My whole life, since my parents’ death, all I’ve had was the memories. The happy moments in my childhood that filled the emptiness inside me. And now, now I won’t even get to leave with those.”
He was silent for a moment but then he looked at me. “Then we create some more before it’s too late.”
“What?”
He jumped up off the bed almost excitedly. “Pack a bag with everything you can.”
“Eh?” I stared at him in confusion.
He didn’t answer straight away as he disappeared into his wardrobe. “I said, pack a bag. We’re leaving.”
”Can we… do that?”
“No,” he answered immediately. “But we are.”
Chapter Twenty One
‘Hiding reveals what we bury deep.’
Daniel had brought us to an insanely beautiful cabin deep in the woods somewhere rural and quiet. After bundling me into his car, we hadn’t stopped until he pulled up a dirt track and we arrived at the cabin several hours later. I had begged him to go back for Lola but he’d shaken his head and told me he’d sorted it. I wasn’t sure how he had sorted it but he’d disappeared for an hour before he’d fetched me from my room and led me from a house I never wanted to see again.
“Wow. It’s beautiful.”
He smiled and nodded, sighing deeply as though the place calmed him. “Yes. It was my mother’s.”
I returned his smile with the gentle way he referred to his mother. “Is she… dead?”
He nodded once and I knew that was all I was to hear about her. Sadness weighed heavy as I watched his soft smile disappear and pain replace it. It was obviously a hard subject and I didn’t press; he was entitled to his own memories.
He took my hand and pulled me up the small gravel path. He pulled out a key, unlocking the door and took us both through into a small square foyer.
Daniel instantly started to pull dust sheets from the furniture and after I helped him we unveiled the house within an hour. I had discovered a stunning house, with rich and comfortable furnishings that didn’t reek of expense and wealth. Cosiness and contentment governed instead of showiness and fickle status.
~~~
“Eat,” Daniel ordered as he held another olive to my lips.
“I can’t.” I laughed as I placed a hand on my stuffed belly and leaned back in the chair. “Are you trying to fatten me up before my slaughter?”
It was meant as a joke but the way his face darkened with anger halted my laughter. “I’m sorry.” He nodded as he popped a piece of cheese in his mouth and studied me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He grinned. “Although I can’t promise to answer.”
I shifted in my chair so I was facing him and drew my knees up, enveloping them in my arms. “Why are you doing this?”
“This?”
“This.” I gestured around the room, referring to the whole cabin and our sudden escape. “Why have you brought me here?”
He smiled softly. “To be honest, I don’t know.”
I studied him, noticing the tiredness around his eyes and the strain on his handsome face for the first time. “You say you enjoy this life. But do you really? Is it what you want, or what you’re doing to please your father?”
He refilled our glasses and lifted his to his lips, looking over the rim at me. “Both, but…” He frowned as he struggled with how to say what he needed to. “But since you I have questioned everything.”
“Why since me?” I took a sip of my own wine and settled further back in my chair.
“Because I’ve destroyed your last days. I’ve taken so much from you that suddenly it all seems… wrong.”
“But surely you knew this was wrong well before me?”
He sighed. “Mae, there are things about me that you don’t know, nor need to know. My life hasn’t exactly been conventional or easy. I’ve fought to live as you have. I have struggled with pain and guilt, just as you have. But where we’re different is that I deliver and you receive. But suddenly you’re delivering the guilt, the questions of what is wrong and right and then… something else. Something deep inside that I don’t recognise and if I’m honest, I don’t want to recognise.”
“You don’t recognise emotion?”
He scoffed bitterly. “Oh I recognise emotion, just not this type or this intensely. I don’t like it, I hate it. It threatens to take over and drown me.”
“And what emotion is it?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He snapped upright. “You won’t be here to understand it, so there is no point in accepting it.”
My chest ached as his bitterness slapped me. He sighed and turned back to me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so heartless.”
“It’s fine. It’s the truth. There’s no point to lies at this stage.”
We gazed at each other, hurt and devastation ruling the atmosphere between us. Guilt consumed me and I straightened my back. “
But there is something you should know.”
He quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest as he leant back against the worktop. “Go on.”
I fidgeted, drawing my knees higher as if they would protect me. “Tony.”
His brows lifted and he nodded. “Tony?”
“Yes.” My mouth dried but I pushed on. I needed him to know. I wasn’t sure why. After everything, I should still hate him but I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted and needed to die with an open heart, without anything weighing me down. “He’s… he’s…”
“Undercover,” he finished for me.
My eyes bulged. “You know?”
He smirked. “I’m not blind, Mae. I knew there was something about him. His bids were excessively high and it’s my job to do my homework on our clients. He isn’t on any database, nor does he have reliable references. You recognised him immediately and that in itself alerted me to something about him.”
“What have you done?”
He rolled his eyes and sighed. “It doesn’t concern you now.”
“But it does,” I argued as I shot out of my chair. “He’s getting Lola out. You can’t interfere. She doesn’t deserve this as much as I didn’t, as much as none of your victims did.”
“Mae…”
“You can’t play with people’s lives, Daniel. You need to stop this now. It’s not right, it’s turning you into a monster and I know you aren’t one. You’re far from the devil you try to portray yourself as.”
“Mae, listen to me…”
“No!” I pushed at him as terror at Lola’s future hung in the balance. “You have to get her out!”
“I HAVE!” he shouted to make himself heard over my frantic rambling. “She’s safe, lamb. She’s safe.” A sob erupted as he framed my face with his hands and made me look at him. “Lola is safe. Okay?”
“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that to shut me up?”
“God damn it!” He stepped back and pulled a phone from his pocket. “It’s me,” he said into the phone. “I need you to speak with Mae and tell her Lola is with you. She won’t believe me.”
I took the phone from him when he pushed it angrily at me. I frowned and hesitantly lifted the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Mae?”
“Yes.” The voice was familiar but yet I couldn’t place it. “Who is this?” He chuckled lightly and my eyes widened. “Frank?”
“Hello, sweetheart.” His stutter was completely gone and my jaw dropped. “I know it’s a little hard to understand at the moment but you need to trust Daniel now. I have Lola with me and we’re both safe.” Lola shouted in the background and the sound of her happy voice choked me.
“Okay.” It was all I could say as confusion rendered me silent.
“Mae?”
“I’m here.”
“Listen. I… I won’t have another chance to say this but I… well I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you. You are one strong woman and I know as long as I live that I will never meet another beautiful soul like you. You stuck up for what you know is right no matter the consequences to yourself and I know… I know you will be rewarded for that.” I couldn’t speak as his kind words twisted at my heart. He knew I was struggling. “May you find your peace, Mae Swift.”
I nodded. “And you, Frank. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, sweetheart,” he whispered back as his voice tightened. “Goodbye.”
Daniel took the phone from me and took me into his body tightly. The situation hit me suddenly and I sobbed into him. “I’m going to die,” I whispered against him. “I…”
“Sshhh.” He held me closer, pulling me tight as I let it go.
“I’m so scared. I… I’m frightened of what…”
“I know, Mae. I’ve sorted it, don’t worry.”
I reared back and looked up at him. “You’ve sorted what? How can you even sort this?”
He looked apprehensive and I frowned at him. “When I asked you if you wanted the choice of when you would go. You told me yes.” I nodded but I still didn’t understand. “Well, now you get to choose, lamb. You get to pick the time you go. Not God, not the pain, not even your own body, but you. I brought something with me that… that will lead you peacefully to where you need to go.”
I stared at him, swallowing back the unknown. “You… we do this together?”
He nodded, his eyes widening as dampness glistened in his eyes. “Yes. We do it together. You won’t ever be alone again. I promise.”
I nodded firmly as my throat closed in. He stepped towards me and took my hand, watching the way I curled my fingers around his. “It’s the least I can do now. I owe you peace, Mae. I owe you your final moments and I promise to make them as… tender as possible. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I nodded. “But I still need to hear it, Daniel.”
He shook his head. “The words will never come. I’m incapable of feeling, Mae but I need you to know that yes, with you I finally feel my heart beating faster and harder. I feel the need to give pleasure without taking. I feel it inside me, the warmth, the pain, the guilt, and for that alone I know how hard this will be but still I will make sure you leave me with a smile on your beautiful face.”
He brought his mouth to mine and showed me without words how he felt. The tenderness and gentility in his kiss wound around my soul and soothed it. His tongue slowly traced the edge of mine as he slipped his fingers through my hair and held me as tight as he possibly could. His lips moulded to mine as he drove adoration into me, expressing how he felt without a declaration.
I closed my eyes and ran my nose down his when he rested his forehead against mine. “Then I will say it,” I whispered. “I love you.”
His grip on my hair tightened as a funny sound echoed in his chest. He was almost desperate as he pushed me back against the wall and continued to kiss me. His passion and need governed him this time and the kiss was hungry and demanding.
He placed his hands under my bottom and lifted me, urging me to wrap my legs around his waist. He didn’t waste time as he scrambled with the hem of my dress and yanked it up around my waist before he thrust deep inside me. My head dropped back and we both groaned in pleasure as I shifted my hips to accommodate him easier.
“Oh God,” he breathed as he rested his head in the crook of my shoulder. “You are so damn perfect.” His thrusts quickened as he slammed deeper and deeper into me. “You were made for me, lamb. This is so wrong.” The strain in his voice hurt my soul and devastation clenched at my heart.
“Then make it right before I go, Daniel.”
He looked at me, his eyes full of sorrow. “It’s too late for me.”
“No,” I whispered as I stroked his hair from his forehead and pulled him to me. “It’s never too late. Your heart is bigger than you think. Let it take you where you need to go. Fall in love, Daniel. Find someone who loves you so much that it’s painful. Let her hold your hand, and let her guide you.”
Tears streamed down my face as I begged him to take what he could from life and live it. “I need you to carry on when I’m gone. Find her, Daniel. Find her.” He stared at me in shock. “Her name is Annabelle Rose. I placed her in foster care. You need to find her and give her a family. Promise me.”
He nodded feverishly. “I promise, Mae. I will find her and I will keep her safe. I will nurture her and love her. I will tell her how God damned fucking special her mother was. I’ll tell her how much love you had for her and how you perfected motherhood by being selfless and giving her a chance at life.”
He drove into me and I cried out as my heart broke and my orgasm liberated my sobs. He clung to me, his own distress heavy as he took my sobs and soaked them up.
“Tomorrow,” I whispered.
He nodded; he knew what I meant. His eyes held mine as we both braved the burden tomorrow would bring. But I was ready, finally ready. I was tired of living and I needed the journey into oblivion to stop the hatred and pain inside me.
>
“Tomorrow, Mae Swift.”
“What’s your surname?” I asked. I suddenly wanted to know, I had no idea why.
He chuckled and smirked. “Why, lamb, I am Shepherd. I’ve told you once.” He tapped my nose playfully. “My name is Daniel Shepherd.”
Chapter Twenty Two
‘And so it ends.’
“Good morning.” He grinned at me. I could see the pain behind his smile but I smiled back, refusing to let the weight of the day spoil my final moments. “Any pain?”
“No.” I smiled widely hoping the tumour would permit me my final moments pain free. “All’s good at the mo.”
He nodded and perched beside me on the bed. He motioned for me to sit up and I did, allowing him to rest the tray on my lap. Amazing scents of croissant, jam and coffee fired up my senses and my mouth watered. “Wow, this is perfect. Thank you.”
I picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip, watching Daniel over the rim. “Everything okay?”
“Sure.” He nodded and took a deep breath. “Hunky-dory, darling.”
The coffee burnt my throat on the way down when I heard the emotion in his voice constricting the passage, making the hot liquid struggle to find a route through. “Daniel.” He looked at me, the pain in his expression even deeper. “If… if you can’t do this then that’s fine, you know. I’ll just wait until…”
He shook his head. “No. It’s fine.”
He didn’t speak again as he stood from the bed and disappeared into the little en-suite that joined the room. I studied his muscular back, each perfect muscle rippling on his journey across the room. His shoulders were bunched, stress and tension pulling at his beautiful body.
The coffee suddenly tasted a little bitter. I placed it back on the tray and picked up the croissant, pulling off small pieces and popping them in my mouth. My gaze wandered out of the small window and I smiled as the sun welcomed me. Everything seemed to be brighter, crisper. Either that or I was more aware. The sky rippled as though dancing in the rays of the hot sun.
The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) Page 19