Rubbing the back of my neck, I groan,
“He’s full of shit. Mom knew, Aislinn. She told me a couple of years later she heard the conversation between your mom, dad, and I, but that she already knew he was into some shady shit. She might not have known what exactly, but mom knew it wasn’t good.”
“I know that too, Dex,” she confesses. “Your parents didn’t shut their bedroom window at night, so I heard them talking about it. You’re right, though. Your mom was worried about whatever he’d gotten into, and night after night, she begged him to tell her what was going on.”
“Fucking dick,” I snap, not knowing this shit had been going on a damn sight longer than I’d been aware of.
Aislinn stops in the center of the room and stares at me.
“There’s more,” she admits softly. “When I heard my mother threaten your college education that was the final straw. I’d been lying by omission to you for months about your dad already, that hearing her jeopardize the one thing I knew you wanted most in the world was just too much.”
“Stop,” I beg. “Stop, baby because you’re wrong. The one thing I wanted most was you. Not college. Not out of that piece of shit trailer. Not a life away from the hell hole we grew up in. You.”
And it’s true. If you told me back then, I’d have to make a choice between getting out of there and staying, but if I did I’d have Aislinn, I would have chosen her every single fucking time.
Aislinn’s shoulders slump in defeat as she walks over to the opposite side of the bed and sits down, crossing her legs beneath her.
“Did you know that when I was little, I honestly believed you could do anything? You were so smart, Dex, that I just knew one day you would do something amazing with your life. I didn’t know what, but I knew whatever it was I’d be proud of you for making something of yourself. That faith is what got me through those days that I avoided you. Knowing that you’d move on to do something great, be someone special, made it easier to cope with losing my best friend. There was no way I was going to let my mother ruin that for you, or steal the little belief I had left that good things happened to good people.”
Sucking in a harsh breath, I exhale,
“Aislinn. Fuck, baby.”
She ignores me completely and keeps going as if I’m not even in the room.
“The first week after you left was the hardest. It hurt so much, Dex. So much I thought my heart would explode from the pain of not seeing you every day, not hearing your voice, and feeling your arms around me.”
Fucking hell, she’s killing me here. What I wouldn’t give to go to Aislinn, wrap my arms around her, and promise her I’ll never leave her again, but there’s not a doubt in my mind that’s the last thing she wants from me right now. So I do what I can, which is listen.
Wringing her hands together in her lap, she murmurs,
“I thought with time it would get better. I mean, I knew there was no way I’d ever forget you, but I thought maybe the pain would dull, and I could bide my time until I was able to leave. There are things about what happened back then I haven’t even told Meg, so I’d really appreciate if you’d keep what I say next to yourself,” she stresses, giving me a pointed look which promises all sorts of pain if I don’t.
The fact she even has to ask pisses me off, but I understand. Aislinn doesn’t trust me, and after what I did – leaving her like that – she shouldn’t. Given half the chance, I’ll change that, though. Fuck, even if she doesn’t give me a chance I’ll change it.
“Whatever it is, it’ll stay here in this room,” I vow.
“Good, I’ll hold you to that,” she states with a curt nod. “Before I tell you, though, I think you should fill me in on what happened that night after I left.”
Seeing as that’s the whole reason we’re here in the first place, I don’t see any point in arguing with her. Truth be told, what went down that night doesn’t matter anymore. She’s here, I’m here, we’re in the same room without killing each other, and we’re finally talking. It’s more than I’d expected and less than I’d hoped for, but it’s something.
If it were up to me, I’d have Aislinn naked, wet, and panting beneath me as I pound into vice-like pussy over talking about out fucked up pasts any day, but that’ll have to wait. Because rest assured before the week is out, I will have this woman in my bed, and the last thing she’ll be doing when she is, is talking. Even then, the only words I’ll accept will be her screaming my name in ecstasy or moaning it in my ear when she comes.
Reminding my dick to behave himself, I discreetly adjust it using the palm of my hand. This shit is going to hurt come morning if I don’t take care of it first. Something I plan on doing as soon as I’ve heard what Aislinn has to say and convinced her to pass out for the night in my bed.
I settle onto the bed with my back against the headboard, my legs crossed at the ankle, and give her what she asked for.
“You already know the bones of it; Jimmy was a bookie, my dad is an asshole who placed bets with him, your mom found out, and that gave her leverage over him and me. She never did tell any of us the real reason she wanted me to stay away from you, though, Aislinn. Nancy said a lot, but for the most part, it was all bullshit. Crap like reporting me to the cops for having sex with a minor, threatening to tell the colleges I applied to the same thing, you needing to repay her for taking care of you, shit like that. None of it was important enough to make the deal she did with my dad, though. I knew that then, and I know it now.”
“And what exactly was this deal?” Aislinn questions, her expression completely closed off.
“It boiled down to her getting Jimmy to forgive dad’s debt if I promised to stay away from you until you turned eighteen,” I state with an exasperated sigh. “There was more to it, like I couldn’t live next door anymore, no calls, emails, texts, snail mail, no contact at all. Nancy knew mom’s meds were going to cost a shit ton, which meant she had dad over a barrel and had no hesitation in fucking us both in the ass. I told her, no. We fought. She yelled. And it all culminated in dad telling her to get out, that he’d handle it. He confessed about mom’s cancer, admitted to the gambling, and explained there weren’t any other options other than to agree to Nancy’s bullshit terms.”
Twisting my head to look at her, I immediately notice the tears shimmering in her eyes. I don’t know it they’re there because she’s only just learning what an absolute cunt her mom is, or if they’re for us, but I do know I don’t fucking like them.
“I still wasn’t going to leave you, Aislinn,” I assure her. “After all that, I refused, and it wasn’t until dad vowed to look in on you and make sure you were safe, that I eventually agreed. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and the only regret I’ve got. Leaving you tore me apart, baby, but not seeing you for years, only then to see some fuckwit hanging on your every word was worse. I could almost go a full day without thinking about how badly I fucked up until I saw that, but then, all bets were off,” I growl. “My head and my heart were in total agreement; you were made for me, I lost you, and I was kidding myself if I thought I’d ever be able to forget that.”
Aislinn doesn’t appear shocked by my admission. If anything she looks sympathetic.
“I spent nine years wondering where you were, if you were as happy as I could have made you, and wishing I could go back in time and do it all differently. You have to believe that, Aislinn. If nothing else, please believe that.”
“I saw you too, Dex,” she whispers in answer. “I probably liked watching you with another woman even less than you did seeing me with Nicholas, and I asked myself the same questions as you did, daily.”
“Then why didn’t you stop when I called your name? I know you heard me, baby.” This is something I’ve been desperate for an answer too long, I just never thought I’d be in the position to get one.
“Why do you think, Dex?” She snaps caustically. “You. Were. With. Another. Woman. It didn’t matter how many years it had been, that still hurt as m
uch as it did when I used to watch you take girls out when we were younger. The difference then was that you would always come home, and I knew I could escape whatever hell I was in and run into your arms.” Shaking her head angrily, Aislinn adds, “I hated it at fourteen, but it was so much worse at twenty. I despised knowing you would take her home with you and hold her the way you did me, but with her, it was more. You were able to make love to her, she could touch you, kiss you; we didn’t have that. Seeing you with her hammered home that we’d never have that.”
Unable to restrain myself a second longer, I reach over and tug Aislinn across the bed and into my arms, earning a soft gasp from her. I position her exactly where I want her, spreading her perfect thighs until she’s straddling the outline of my erection, and my hands are firmly planted on her hips.
If Aislinn moves even a millimeter, I swear I’ll come in my jeans like some horny kid, which is why I warn her.
“Sit and don’t move, or I’ll strip you bare and fuck you until you can’t walk without feeling where I’ve been and wanting me back there.”
Her breath is coming in harsh pants, her chest rising and falling rapidly, meaning I’m getting to her. Good. I want Aislinn as turned on as I am. I want her wet and needy like she’s made me. Most of all, I want her begging for what only I can give her.
“Oh my God. You can’t say that kind of stuff to me, Dex,” she exclaims, blushing profusely.
“Sure, I can,” I growl, grabbing her hips tighter and grinding her down onto my cock. “Feel that? That’s what you do to me, Aislinn. I’ve been hard since I saw you again, making this the longest four days of my life. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to walk around with my cock hard enough to hammer nails 24/7 and not come find you so I can take care of both of us?”
“No,” she whimpers, shifting until my cock is positioned along the length of her slit. I can feel the heat radiating off her, the only barrier a thin pair of her panties and both our jeans, which I’d do just about anything to be rid of.
Needing to this topic before it’s too late, I still her movements and look directly into her wide green eyes that are flashing with arousal.
“I’m going to promise you something now, baby, so I need you to listen carefully,” I prompt, waiting for her to acknowledge me before I go on. At her nod, I say, “When we’re finished with this conversation, I’m going to peel you out of those jeans, tear your panties off with my teeth, and eat your pussy until you’re begging me to stop. Then, when I’ve made you come, I’ll lavish attention on your gorgeous tits and make you come just using my mouth on your perfect, hard nipples. After I’m done worshipping the rest of you, I’m going to slide my cock inside you bareback, and fuck you so you scream my name. But I won’t stop, not until I come hard, deep, and long, filling you with my come so that I can watch it drip down your perfect thighs after I’m finished.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
~ Aislinn ~
“I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes it five years in a row now.”
– yourecards
Holy shit! I think I just had a mini-orgasm and the only things touching me are Dex’s hands and his massive, fully-clothed, rock-hard cock nestled against my core. That makes me wonder what he’s capable of naked, and that is not a good image to have while I’m unable to move off him.
Not because sex with Dex wouldn’t be hotter than hell, it would. There is no doubt in my mind Dex could give me multiple, mindblowing orgasms, but what about afterward? Where would we go from there?
We don’t have it now, but the connection I felt to Dex when we were young was so real, so natural. I knew then I had met my soul mate when I was two years old. Like he said I was made for him, he was made for me too. So you’ll excuse me if I’m terrified about what adding the intimacy of a sexual relationship would do to us.
Regardless of his filthy words, the gorgeous dimples in both of his cheeks when he smirks, and Dex’s perfectly cut body, begging for me to reach out and run my hands along the hard muscles of his chest and abs, I can’t. I just can’t risk becoming even more attached to him than I was only to lose it all again.
Putting some space between us – only a few inches but it’s enough for now – I look deep into his blue-gray eyes and see the same need and desperation staring back at me.
“You can keep your promises, Dex, but you won’t be acting out that particular fantasy with me.”
Dex uses his arms to drag me back on top of him, thrusting his hips roughly against my mound to make his point.
“Yeah, I will. And, Aislinn?” He goads, lifting an eyebrow cockily. “You’ll fucking love it when I do.”
Mmhmm, I just bet I will. That in and of itself is part of the problem. Well, that and the fact I haven’t seen a man’s penis since the last time I was with Nicholas, and that wasn’t by choice.
Shuddering at the memory of hopefully my soon-to-be ex-husband, any arousal I felt is gone in an instant.
“Hey,” Dex rumbles, gently stroking the length of my back in a comforting gesture. “What was that all about? You were here one second, then gone the next. Talk to me, Aislinn.”
This is difficult for me. Not just discussing Nicholas and the hell he put me through, but talking about what happened during the two years after Dex up and left. Meg knows more than anyone else, but even she doesn’t know how bad my life was before I moved out of home. No one does.
There were times when I thought about saying “fuck it all,” and ending it. I told myself over and over again I’d be better off not having to live that way, but, of course, I couldn’t go through with it. The thought of taking my own life, versus the actual act of doing it were two totally different things. They were worlds apart, and as bad as it got, it was never bad enough to tip me over that very slippery slope.
“Do you think I could have some space for this, please?” I ask, praying he’ll give me what I need to make it through what I know is going to be an ordeal for both of us.
Scowling at me, Dex is hesitant to let me go, but slowly his grip loosens, allowing me to shift myself off him.
“I’m not going to fucking like this, am I?” He surmises correctly.
No. No, he’s really not. But then again, I didn’t like having to go through it, so if he wants to know, he’ll just have to suck it up and put his big boy pants on. Interestingly, even though I shouldn’t, that leads me to imagine what Dex is wearing under his jeans. From the feel of him, nothing, but I wouldn’t mind in the slightest finding out for myself.
See? This is what being in close proximity does to my poor, under-sexed brain. I’m supposed to be preparing myself to tell the man I was madly in love with my own personal horror story, but instead, I’m picturing what his cock looks like. Someone just shoot me now and be done with it, would you?
Taking up a spot beside him, out of touching distance, I take a few deep breaths and consider where to start. I could begin where he left off, which would be when I met Nicholas, but I think it’s best if we go back to the beginning. Because, after all, there’s a reason why I stayed and took the life-ruining bastards abuse for so long.
Courage buoyed, at least, for now, I evoke the memories that have haunted me for half my life,
“To understand how I changed and why, I have to explain what happened after you left. I’ll tell you everything, leaving nothing out, and all I ask in return is that you let me. Don’t interrupt or ask questions, save them for the end if you have to.”
Dex starts off on the right foot by giving me a curt nod but keeping hs mouth shut. Thanking him silently with a small smile, I go on to say,
“Maybe a year or so before you left, my mother started to change. She’d always neglected me, which as a little girl hurt, but I learned early that if her focus were elsewhere, for the most part, she would leave me alone. As you already know, that wasn’t always the case, and in the months leading up to you leaving, it only began getting worse. There were never enough drugs or the money to buy them. She
would run out of alcohol and get angry I wasn’t old enough to go and get it for her. Men didn’t want to date her anymore, it was my fault for ruining her life and her looks. No matter what I did or how hard I tried to stay out of her way, she blamed me, and had no problem taking her anger out on me.”
Chewing nervously on my thumbnail, I continue.
“I could handle all that, though. Mother dearest being a bitch wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, even if it was worse than ever. It was Jimmy I didn’t like, and how she acted when she was with him. You know about the day he touched me, that didn’t happen again, but he was still around staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable. A few days after you left, he started coming over more often, as in, every day. He stayed over, made himself at home, and basically situated himself in our lives. Nancy thought it was great; she had a man around the house for the first time ever, and someone to help pay the bills who had his drug dealer on speed dial. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? Nancy was happy, and Jimmy wasn’t being an absolute creep, so I knew it was only a matter of time before it would all fall apart. And it did. You’d been gone two weeks when my world imploded again.”
Vengeance MC Box Set - Volume 2: Gage ~ Cash ~ Knight (Vengeance MC series Book 8) Page 13