Without Consequence

by Victoria L. James

  Slipping away from the main room, I grabbed the plate I’d left in the warm oven for Drew, along with a fresh mug of coffee and headed toward his office, grinning as I knocked. I entered at his usual growl and lifted the plate I was holding. “I come bearing gifts.”

  His hair was still half wet from the shower he’d obviously taken while I was slaving away in the kitchen. He looked up at me as I entered his room, both hands running back and forth over the top of his head as though I’d just interrupted him in the middle of something and he was trying hard not to look pissed off about that. His nostrils flared and he plastered a smile on his face, dropping his hands to the desk to move around some of the books that were in front of him. It was yet another side to him I hadn’t expected to see. He was actually taking something seriously. ”Um, breakfast. Sure. Let me just…” Shifting back in his chair, he worked faster to create some space. “Thanks. Anywhere you can fit it.”

  I slipped further into the room and kicked the door closed behind me, unsure if it was the right thing to do or not. He seemed like a private guy, so I’d gone with my gut, but the truth was, when it came to Drew, that didn’t always work out.

  I managed to find a small space on the edge and pushed the plate, napkins and cutlery down beside it, while my eyes scanned the surface for a place to put his coffee. “Black, two sugars?”

  “That’s right,” he said smoothly, looking up at me through curious eyes before his hands reached out to help me move the plate into a more secure spot.

  I wasn’t sure whether to stay or go as I stood there. He seemed genuinely busy, but other than clean up the breakfast things and doing some laundry, he’d not given me a task for the day.

  “Thanks for my car, by the way. That was really decent of you.”

  Reaching up and taking his drink from my hands, Drew just nodded again in that same old way he seemed to do, as though he always had to do that in order to stall for time and find his thoughts, somehow. He leaned back in his chair, sucking in a breath and blowing it back out almost right away, his eyes falling to the books in front of him. “Don’t mention it. Your tires wouldn’t have been slashed if you hadn’t been here, and you wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for me, so…” Lifting the mug to his mouth, his lips paused on the rim as he looked up at me, as though he was waiting for me to answer before he took a drink.

  “Do you realize how often you take the blame for things completely out of your power?” I asked, moving to the couch and slowly sinking down into it.

  He paid me no mind as I moved, his eyes back on the books, not so much as flashing up at me again. I was starting to feel a little bit like a hindrance. Wasn’t that just a ridiculous notion when I was there to repay a debt to not just him, but the whole pack?

  Taking a slow sip of his drink, he kept the mug close to his mouth when he finally answered. “There’s a huge difference between taking responsibility and taking the blame.”

  “Okay.” I clasped my hands together, my heels pulling back and the toes of my shoes slapping together. “You take responsibility for things out of your power. This now leaves me feeling more indebted to you.”

  This time I was the one that dropped my eyes to the stained carpet beneath my feet and I found myself unsure of what I was looking at. I made a mental note to rent out a carpet steamer and sanitize the place. I wasn’t sure when I started thinking independently about this building and the men in it, but it had become a personal mission for me.

  The sound of his cup landing against the desk rang out around the room while I kept my eyes on all the things that were wrong in here, before glancing back up at him. “That’s your problem. Not mine. If I thought you were even more in debt to me, I’d be the first to let you know, sweetheart. Rest assured of that.”

  “Drew?”

  He didn’t answer, instead just lifting his eyes away from the books and over to me.

  “Do you realize that you can be both the easiest and the single most difficult person in the world to talk to? Some days, I find myself telling you shit I would never tell anyone, and then other times, you might as well be a damn brick wall.” I lifted my hand and showed him my palms, a universal peace sign. “Not complaining… More explaining why I may appear more awkward sometimes, than others. And now that I’ve made a complete ass of myself, I’m going to go and clean something.”

  Drew’s hands fell out in front of him, coming to rest and clasp together on the desk as his body leaned forward ever so slightly and the smirk on his face grew. “What do you want me to talk about, Ayda? The weather? The stains on the carpet that you keep glaring at? Your cooking skills? Religion? Politics? Or how I found life on the inside?” He pushed his chin forward and lowered his voice. “What’s got you twitching?”

  I don’t think I could have felt more of an asshole than I did in that moment. If I let myself dig too deeply, I honestly wasn’t sure what I would find anymore. Was I starting to care about this place? Or was this some kind of Stockholm syndrome? I honestly didn’t know anymore.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just chatty this morning. What would you like me to do today? Other than clean the kitchen and the –”

  I didn’t get a chance to finish the last of my sentence. There was a knock on the door, and before Drew could so much as tell them to come in, Slater was already there, head firmly around the door and looking more disturbed than I thought he was capable of.

  “Drew, we got trouble, man.”

  It was as though the word trouble was all he needed to hear for Drew’s face to fall flat and for him to rise straight out of his chair. “What kind of trouble?” he asked Slater as he stepped around the desk in two quick strides. Before Slater even had a chance to answer, the heavy boots of the other members could be heard running up and down the corridor in one giant stampede, and my head snapped to the noise coming from the window outside – the sound of what seemed like a thousand motorcycles pulling up outside the building we were currently holed up in. “Oh shiiiit!” He growled, turning back to look at me. “Ayda…”

  I didn’t need to be told twice. I’d seen the worry there and just nodded. “Go. I’ll be fine.”

  I wasn’t sure that was the truth, but it felt like the right thing to say. If this was something he needed to deal with, the last thing he needed to be doing was worrying about me. He was pushing past Slater before I could so much as blink, and as stunned as I was, and as eager as Slater was to follow, his eyes landed on me.

  “It’s gonna be safer to wait in the bar.”

  Then he was gone, almost as swiftly as his friend had left, the thunderous noise making the walls of the building tremble and pushing me to my feet with a sense of desperation I’d never encountered before.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Drew

  Adrenaline was a poor man’s steroid. It did the trick every single time. The moment I heard those engines rolling on in through my yard, I charged through the club and out on to the porch to see who was here to pay us a visit. At worst, I was about to have a standoff with three rival MC’s in one night. At best, these unexpected guests would be old friends from another charter here to find out where Drew Tucker was at, both mentally and physically.

  My feet slowed down as I stepped into the sunlight once more. As soon as I saw the first bike pull up in front of me, I knew that it was neither the worst or best case scenario, but somewhere in between, although definitely more on the nightmare side of the scale than I would have liked.

  The Emperors had arrived.

  Even from behind his thick, black shades, I knew Chester Cortez’s eyes were fixed firmly on me as all his brothers pulled up in a perfect V file behind him. He’d always had his troops well trained.

  It wasn’t long before Slater, Kenny, Jedd, Harry and all my other men were landing out on the porch beside me, and the air around the place changed with every twist of the throttle from one of the bikers out front. So much time had passed since I’d last had to do this, and while I knew it ran deep inside
me, the sight of The Emperors patch all over their motorcycles, helmets and cuts had my body tensing so badly, I wasn’t sure how much I could keep myself under control.

  My jaw tensed while my hands balled into fists down by my sides. Every tooth in my mouth was pressed down against another and I was grinding them so fucking hard, I was pretty certain I was about to crush the lot. I did a quick scan of the formation in front of us all. The headcount told me there were eighteen men and eighteen motors – a clear, unspoken message that they weren’t here to provide me with anything less than a threat.

  Not a single person moved as we stared back at one another like we were in some kind of fucking western. Not even Harry had any words of wisdom for this one. It was only when Cortez held one hand up in the air to silence the men behind him and the sound of the engines faded to nothing but creaking leather jackets and the scuffing of feet on the gravel, that I knew what was about to go down.

  Chester had that arrogant smirk going on that made me want to launch myself off the top step and wrestle that fucker straight to the ground. It held nothing in it but assurance and smarm as he swung his leg off his bike and began to make his way over to the bottom of the steps.

  Slater took a step closer into me on my left. Jedd did the same on my right. I just stretched my fingers out slowly before curling them back into fists as I watched him stroll closer. Chester scrunched his face up to one side and peeled his sunglasses away from his face.

  “Tucker,” he croaked in that raspy, lung-infected voice of his. “I heard you got out. Thought it was time to see for myself that the rumors were true.”

  I couldn’t find a single word to say as I continued to stare down at him, my nostrils flaring wider and the muscles in my jaw working harder.

  “Now you’ve seen, you can go,” Slater answered for me, quietly.

  “As welcoming as ever.” Cortez smirked, glancing at the men on either side of me before planting his eyes firmly on mine. “What happened to the brotherhood, huh? What happened to us working together and all that harmony shit you all used to spout?”

  “Five years ago happened,” Jedd spoke up, readjusting the weight of his legs, stepping up front even more.

  “Not our fault.” Chester shrugged, raising the hand holding his glasses as casually as you could fucking imagine.

  “Now is not the time,” Jedd said flatly.

  “I think it's the perfect time.”

  “You need to leave,” I growled through my teeth, snarling at the fucker that dared to come onto our land and throw that shit up in our faces.

  “Ah, I see. I guess the old MC unity has truly gone now, Mr. Tucker.” He grinned up at me, showing off the gold tooth that always looked more like a target to me than anything else. If I could just go down there and…

  “You guessed correctly,” Harry spoke up from somewhere.

  “Interesting.”

  “What do you want, Cortez?” I glared at him as my fingers pumped back and forth into the center of my palms.

  Turning his mouth down, he rocked his head from side to side, taking his time to answer or even look like he really gave a shit about any of this. “I dunno, Tucker. I dunno. It’s been such a long time. Where do we start? You being on the inside, no visitation, no one knowing whether or not you were still alive or still spitting blood over what happened. Our guy still behind bars while you’re out now, walking free… Doesn’t seem right after everything that went down, you know what I’m saying?” Chester’s eyes dropped all their humor as his face snapped into the same expression as mine and his anger rolled off him like fucking fire.

  “I paid my dues.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I said, I paid my dues,” I repeated.

  “To who? Not to me. I’m still a man down,” he snapped.

  “So am I,” I hit back much more calmly than I felt inside, my foot automatically taking a step forward, about ready to go for him. My mind was suddenly becoming a blur. All I could see was red and all I could hear was Pete’s voice as he struggled to hold onto those last few breaths he took in his dying seconds. “So am I.”

  Before I could take another step closer, Jedd’s hand reached up to my shoulder and gripped it tight as all hell. He was using all the muscle he had to keep me in place and it wasn’t long before Slater had done the same on the other side and both my brothers had me in their grip. “Not today, Drew,” Slater whispered. “Not like this.”

  Chester took a step closer, lifting one foot to rest on the bottom step as he threw his arms over his knee and leaned forward. “Not like this, baby Drew.” His smile broke free again and all I could think about doing was ripping his damn head from his shoulders. “But soon, yes? We’ll be in touch soon.”

  “Get. Out,” I snarled.

  He threw his head back with laughter, straightening up almost instantly to turn back around to look at his men. “I think our invitation has officially been revoked.” Cortez rolled his eyes, shook his head and started to take a few steps away from us. “Okay, Mr. Tucker. We won’t ruin release week for you, but we’ll be in touch, as always.”

  I couldn’t remember ever feeling as much rage as I felt in that moment. Not since the night that changed all our lives, all that time ago. It started in the soles of my feet and I swear, I could feel those fucking flames licking up my legs, back, neck and into my eyeballs. Every time I blinked, I saw a flash of Pete before he disappeared and The Emperors came back into sight. Their patch. Pete. Rafael Ramirez. Pete. Their patch. Pete. Chester Cortez. Pete. Ramirez. Pete. Ramirez. Pete. That final moment. Ramirez's fist. Pete's face.

  Pete.

  Jedd and Slater gripped me even tighter, their hands struggling to stop the trembling of my body that was now causing my shoulders to shake like crazy.

  I couldn’t look away from Chester as he got back on his bike, pushed his glasses onto his face and shouted over to me. “Stay safe, Hounds of Babylon. We wouldn’t want any accidents happening while you were out on your own now, would we? Or to your, what is she now? Housemaid?”

  My frown sank deeper into my face as I tried to figure out what the fuck he was talking about. It was only when he glanced to the side of me and his brows popped up over his glasses that I found myself turning over my shoulder to see what he was looking at.

  Ayda stood in the doorway, her face as white as a ghost and her eyes wide with either surprise or fear, I had no damn idea. But I knew I couldn’t look away from her as the reality of his threat began to sink in.

  The anger I thought I felt at the MC before was nothing compared to what was going on in my body now, and I had no control over myself as I shrugged both Jedd and Slater off of me, yanked my arms away and started to bounce down those steps with only murder in mind.

  Cries of my name filled the air, along with a few other chants telling me to stop, but before I could get anywhere close to a single one of The Emperors’ men, Cortez held his hand up with a laugh and they all sped away. It didn’t matter that I knew they were gone. I still charged towards the gates of the yard as though I had a hope in hell of catching up.

  Only I didn’t stand a chance, and as I stood there panting for breath, my body still shaking with fury while they turned to dust in the distance, I felt the old me resurrect from deep down inside. I felt that old determination for revenge kick in. I felt out of control all over again.

  Turning back around on my heels, I kicked the earth with my foot and threw my right fist through the air to try and release some of the anger that was already threatening to bring me to my knees, or worse, send me back inside.

  “FUCK!” I yelled out to every single man in front of me. “Fuck.”

  My body moved forward without any thought for anyone else. My eyes were on the ground as I charged back through the yard, ignoring all the noises my family made around me, all the words of wisdom and advice, all the offerings of help. All I could think about was one thing.

  I needed a fucking drink.

  And I needed it quick.


  Before I did something that we’d all regret.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Ayda

  You hear things. Growing up in a town with a predominant residency of bikers, it’s to be expected. No matter how many rumors I’d heard, nothing prepared me for the fear I felt watching the altercation between Drew and the other group of bikers.

  I could barely breathe as Drew stormed past me as though I wasn’t there. When everybody filtered in behind him, I began to feel more and more out of place. The ringing in my ears, due to the anxiety and the motorcycles, didn’t seem to be going anywhere. As the warmth of the sun found me as the last of the crowd passed, I stumbled further onto the porch, my trembling hands reaching for the railing as my eyes scanned where the other bikes had been.

  I felt a presence behind me, but I knew who it was without them having to say a word. I pushed my trembling lips together and ignored the disappointment that ran through me. I knew who I’d wanted to be there, but I was too stupid to see that I was nothing. This group of men, these women who flooded around them, they were all family and I was the outsider here. I was a stranger who didn’t belong.

  “Come on inside, darlin’,” Deeks said gently, his hand cupping my elbow. My hand clung to the wood of the rail, my sudden limited understanding flashing between him and the ray of sunlight I’d found.

  “What just happened?”

  “The same thing that’s been happening for centuries.”

  I raised my eyebrows and turned to look at him.

  “Rivalry. It traverses histories and species. Ain’t nothing to be done about it.”

  “You see more than you let on.”

  “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. I like being the dumb fuck around these parts.”

  Deeks peeled my hands from the rail and led me in through the door and into the encompassing darkness. He didn’t take me into the thick of it, but rather led me to a curved couch in the corner and perched me on the very end of it. His eyes moved to the group and back to me, his silent question remaining unsaid as I nodded in agreement. He needed to be with his family and I needed to get my thoughts in order.