Pretty Dark Nothing

by Heather L. Reid

  Two more deserted intersections, two more stop signs, and dirt turned to tarmac.

  “Stay green, stay green.”

  The light flicked from green to yellow as Quinn sped through the intersection and onto the long stretch of CR-718 from Eastwood to home.

  At sixty-five miles an hour she approached the Westland turn off. She mashed the clutch with her left foot and pushed the stick shift back into first. The gears groaned, and the Jeep shuddered. She slammed her right foot on the brake. The force threw her forward, and the Jeep came to a full stop midway through the turn. Hundreds of tiny winged demons flocked around the car, claws scraping metal, clamoring against the glass, as they searched for a way to penetrate her safe haven. And then she saw it, bright lights, headlights, speeding toward her.

  “Okay, okay.” She hurried to give it gas, but in her panic released the clutch too soon, and the engine died. The headlights bore down on her. She braced herself for the collision. The thought of Aaron and his mother came flooding into her mind: speeding, car wreck—death. Quinn closed her eyes to the blinding light in front of her, her only thought now, if she survived, was the wreckage of her friendships following the wreckage of Marcus’s Jeep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “That was so awesome.” Jenna hugged Aaron, and he half hugged her in return as he searched for Quinn over her shoulder. No sign of her. All night he’d been trying to get a read on Quinn, to find out what was causing her to fidget and cling to him so much, but every time he touched her, his gift was greeted by the same endless stark wasteland. It wasn’t until he started singing “Starlight Memory” that she reignited the thread. A crackle of connection, like changing the frequency on a radio, raced through him as she beamed up at him. A flash of warmth, a feeling of intense love overwhelmed him, making him want to sing to her in private. Well, maybe do more than just sing. Then the flash was gone, and she was lost to him again, no trace of the connection remained.

  “Yeah, that was great, man.” Ben put his arm around Jenna and held up his hand for a high five. “I feel like we’re a real band now, playing original stuff.”

  “Are we going out to celebrate?” Jenna asked.

  “Sure, if it’s okay with Quinn.”

  “Yeah, we wouldn’t want to ruin your date.” Jenna scanned the room. “Where is she anyway? Don’t tell me she left before the end.” Jenna put a finger to each nostril, sniffed, and raised her eyebrow at Aaron.

  “I know you don’t like her, but she’s not a druggie,” Aaron snapped.

  “Okay.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “You know her better than I do.”

  “She’ll be off somewhere with Reese. Look, there’s Marcus. I’m sure he’ll know.” Aaron reached out to Quinn with his mind, but couldn’t find her, convincing him even more that she controlled the link, not him.

  “Meet us at Tony’s if you find her. The pizza’s on Cade.”

  Marcus was talking to a leggy blond in a short, vinyl mini. No Quinn or Reese in sight. He tapped Marcus on the shoulder.

  “Oh, hey! Great song, bro. The crowd loved it. Aaron, this is … ”

  “Beth, Beth Adams.”

  “Beth, right. I told her I was with the band.”

  “Nice to meet you, Beth. Aaron wiped his hands on his jeans. “Sorry, my hands are kind of sweaty.” He took her hand. “I’m—”

  “Aaron. I know. Call me sometime.” She handed Aaron a torn piece of paper with her number written in bright red ink. “See you around.” She winked and smoothed a curl from her eye.

  Marcus stood at the foot of the stage, hands in his pockets. “You get a number, and I get zilch. I feel so used.”

  “Where are the girls?”

  “Reese ran into some girl she knew from cheer camp or something. I think they’re giggling in some corner.”

  “Is Quinn with her?”

  “Probably. Marcus glanced over at Beth. “Man, I don’t know how you can resist such fineness.” He grabbed the number from Aaron’s hand. “Just in case Reese changes her mind. Or Quinn changes hers. Besides, I bet I can sell this baby to the highest bidder.”

  “You better not let Reese catch you with that, or you’ll need the number for the nearest hospital.”

  “Hey.” Reese came up behind Marcus, hands on her hips. “Did I hear my name?”

  “Hey, baby. I was just telling Aaron how hot you look tonight. Right, Aaron?” Marcus elbowed him and winked.

  “Is Quinn with you?” Aaron asked, ignoring Marcus.

  “No. I thought she’d come straight back here.”

  “Straight back from where?”

  “Oh, yeah. Forgot to tell you, she went outside during the last song. Girl stuff. Don’t ask. TMI.” Marcus shivered.

  Aaron rubbed the back of his neck. “Did you check outside?”

  “Why would I do that? I thought she would be back by now.”

  “What if something happened?”

  “We’re in the middle of nowhere. Where would she go?” Teresa folded her arms in front of her and gave Aaron a defensive glare. “She’s probably waiting for us at the car.”

  He started down the center aisle. “What are you waiting for? Come on.” The parking lot was almost empty.

  “She wasn’t feeling well. Maybe she took a walk for some fresh air,” Teresa suggested.

  “What the?” Marcus said.

  Aaron stared at his bike and the empty space beside it.

  “You gave her your keys,” Teresa said.

  “No, you gave her my keys,” Marcus corrected.

  “She can’t drive a standard,” Teresa said.

  “Apparently she can.”

  “She’s not here now, so why don’t the two of you stop fighting.” Aaron handed Teresa the spare helmet. “She probably went home. Marcus, you stay here in case she comes back.”

  “Why do I have to stay?”

  Aaron pointed at Teresa. “Cause she’s a girl.”

  “That’s so sexist.”

  If she’d really been in trouble, he would know, wouldn’t he? She always had connected with him in the past; this time wouldn’t be any different. Aaron revved the engine. Teresa climbed on behind him, and they were off, leaving Marcus standing in the empty spot where his Jeep used to be.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  The Camaro let out a menacing cry as it sped around the Jeep. Quinn cringed at the middle finger that appeared in the Camaro’s window.

  “Fuck you, too!” she screamed at the dust left in the wake of the speeding car. “As if he cares.” Quinn trembled as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Get a grip. Crying isn’t going to get you out of the middle of this intersection.” She turned the key in the ignition and grabbed the stick shift.

  Turn around. Take the Jeep back. Tell them everything.

  The fat, yellow-eyed demon materialized on her headrest. “They’ll hate you.”

  No.

  “Call you crazy.”

  No.

  “Yes.”

  Not Teresa.

  “Especially her.” Two more fiends popped into being on the passenger seat, listening as their leader poured on words of persuasion, nodding their angled, bony heads in agreement.

  “You don’t even know her,” Quinn argued.

  “We know everything. We know all of them.”

  “But you told me to leave!” Quinn said. “You were threatening me. This is all your fault.”

  Their grinding, metallic snickers filled the car.

  “Go away!” Quinn screamed.

  “You stole Marcus’s Jeep.”

  “I had to get out of there.”

  “You did it on purpose.”

  “I had no other choice. You made me!”

  Tears cascaded down Quinn’s cheeks, twin waterfalls of confusion and frustration.

  “Did we?”

  “They’ll understand.”

  “Will they?”

  “I think.”

  “Or will they hate you? Better to lie.” The demon
stroked Quinn’s hair with pointy, onyx claws.

  Her phone buzzed in her pocket, sending shockwaves of vibration down her thigh. Aaron? Reese? They would have noticed her missing by now. Answer it and tell them everything. No, they would hate her if she told the truth. Even Reese. That was the demon talking. She shook her head. She and Reese had always shared everything, and she was sick of hiding from her best friend. What about Aaron? He had trusted her with his secret. Confiding in him would be so easy. The way he looked at her, like he saw through her damage, saw the Quinn she wanted to be. He could never hate her.

  “I can’t.” Tremors seized her hand as she dug in her pocket. Pain raced up every nerve as the demon sunk its claws into her flesh. She whimpered and tried to squirm away, but the demon pushed a strange fog through the ends of the talons, like a syringe, working its way through her skin, invading her veins, eating away her resolve, possessing her. Maybe the demons were right. She should stop fighting them and start trusting them. They were only trying to help.

  “Don’t answer. You’ll make things worse. Trust us. One tiny lie won’t hurt them.”

  “Or me.” Her head lolled to the side.

  “That’s right. Trust us.” Dozens of beasts filled the back seat, whispering, urging her to listen, intimidation in their yellow eyes.

  “And if I trust you?” One single tear slid down her cheek.

  “We can help you.”

  “How?”

  “Listen.”

  More voices filled the car, bringing Quinn under their spell. They would always be with her now, on the fringes of her mind, hiding in the shadows, watching, and waiting. She could never outrun them. And why would she want to? They were her only friends, the only ones she could really trust.

  “Tell them you felt sick.”

  “I needed to go home.”

  “That you didn’t want to disturb them.”

  “I didn’t want to disturb them. Yes,” Quinn repeated in a trance.

  A black SUV sped past, horn blaring, startling Quinn. The beasts retreated, leaving her alone in the Jeep, if not in her head. In her rearview mirror, she saw one, bright headlight moving toward her. A motorcycle. Quinn slipped the Jeep into first. The Jeep sped forward, outrunning Aaron, outrunning the truth, leaving them both in the dust for the comfort of a lie.

  ***

  Quinn fumbled in her purse for her house key. She swiped beads of sweat from her forehead with the back of her sleeve, dropping her keys into a puddle of darkness.

  “Dammit!” She groped around the porch with no luck. The gold key ring shimmered in the wake of one headlight, turning into her driveway. Quinn grabbed it, jumped up, and shoved the key in the lock.

  “Come on, come on. Don’t stick now.” The headlight flicked off as the dead bolt clicked. She turned the knob and shouldered the door open, slammed it, and locked it behind her.

  Quinn held her breath, as footsteps ran up the driveway. She crouched on the tiled entry. She couldn’t face them. Not Teresa, not Marcus, and not Aaron. No, not Aaron, never again. He knocked. Quinn didn’t move. The knock intensified, louder, more urgent. Quinn remained motionless. He’d go away if she didn’t answer.

  “Quinn, I know you’re in there. I saw you on the porch when I drove up.”

  Quinn pressed her face against the glass blocks. A distorted face stared back at her, hand over his eyes to block the outside light.

  “Come on, Quinn, I need to talk to you.”

  Quinn wiped tears from her eyes with the hem of her shirt. Turning on the foyer light, she cracked open the door. “What do you want?” She tapped her fingers on the metal handle and glared at Jeff.

  “I’ve been texting and calling you all night. I was worried.”

  “Just go.” Quinn tried to shut the door, but Jeff blocked it with his foot.

  “I really need to talk to you.”

  Quinn stomped on his foot, but his leather cowboy boot took the impact. “Well, I don’t need to talk to you.” She tried shoving the door again.

  Jeff shoved back. “I broke up with Kerstin.”

  “Why do you think I care?” Quinn’s tone was icy. She’d been waiting months to hear those words, and now they meant nothing.

  “Look, I know I hurt you, and I don’t blame you for being angry.”

  “Oh, I’m more than angry.” She leaned against the door, defeated, as a demon settled on her shoulder.

  “We were friends once, best friends. I didn’t know who else to go to.” Jeff shoved his hands in his pockets, imploring Quinn with those irresistible brown eyes.

  “Let him in.”

  Quinn stiffened as the demon morphed into smoke and probed its way into her ear. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead as she fought their influence.

  No. You got what you wanted. I left Aaron. Leave me alone.

  “Let. Him. In.”

  “You should’ve thought of that before you dumped me.” Quinn scratched at her ear and pulled on the ends of her hair, but the demon’s words lashed at her resistance. Swaying her to their command. She opened the door.

  “Q.T., I’m sorry.” Jeff followed her into the kitchen. “I blew it with you …”

  “Don’t you dare call me Q.T.!” she yelled over her shoulder. “Only my friends and family call me that, and you are neither.”

  Quinn pulled a loaf of bread from the box on the counter and took out two slices. What she really wanted to do was claw at her own skin and beat her head against the wall until the demon expelled itself from her body. But she couldn’t do that, not with Jeff watching, so she kept her hands busy. Jeff took his usual seat on the left side of the island, but instead of resting his elbows on the counter, his hands stayed shoved in his pockets.

  Quinn grabbed a jar of peanut butter from the pantry. Unscrewing the red plastic lid, she stirred the creamy contents with the end of the knife, its metal scraping plastic as she tried to steady her hands. Silently she worked, and silently he watched, his stare never straying from her.

  “You want a sandwich?” Quinn asked.

  “Sure.”

  “We don’t have any grape jelly. We stopped buying it after you dumped me. You’ll have to suffer strawberry.” Quinn opened the jar, piling a glob of the red goo on the knife and plopping it onto the other piece of bread, masking her fear and anxiety under a blanket of anger. Jeff wouldn’t know the difference.

  “I wish you wouldn’t use the word dumped. It sounds so, oh I don’t know … bad.”

  “Well, let’s see. How did you breaking up with me feel? Oh, I don’t know … bad. Seems to me, dumped describes it perfectly.” Quinn slammed the knife onto the bread, splitting the sandwich into two clean halves.

  She’d been mooning over him, putting him on a pedestal, while he paraded Kerstin in front of her nose. Aaron had been there for her, and she pushed him away, time and time again for Jeff, for a guy who cheated on her. Hell yeah she was angry, at the demons, at herself for leaving Reese and Aaron, for the lies she would tell them if they asked. And Jeff, sitting in her house, telling her he’d broken up with Kerstin. A little too late.

  “Fine, if you want to call it dumped, we’ll call it dumped.” Jeff eyed the knife.

  “Don’t worry. I don’t think a butter knife would do much damage.” Quinn handed Jeff half the sandwich, careful not to let her fingers brush his.

  “You always did make the best PB and J,” Jeff mumbled with a mouthful.

  “Yeah, well, whoever said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach got it all wrong. The way to a man’s heart is having big boobs. Big boobs equal no dump.” Quinn balled her fist, her anger no longer a mask. All the things she’d really wanted to say to him over the last two months spewed out.

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Jeff slammed the half-eaten sandwich on the table.

  Quinn turned her back on Jeff and started to unload clean dishes from the dishwasher. “That’s because you never clued me in.” Quinn slammed the cabinet door. “You ca
me home from summer vacation and ignored my calls. When you did call, it was a cryptic ‘uhhhh we need to break up,’ and the next thing I know, you’re dating Kerstin.”

  She spun around to face him, anger full throttle, words on stun. “Oh, and did you tell me about Kerstin? No. I heard it through gossip queen Ami on the first day of school. ‘Sorry to hear about you and Jeff, Quinn. Sorry he dumped you for the bloodsucker Kerstin. What? You didn’t know he was dating Kerstin? He’s been dating her for weeks.’ God, what an idiot I was.” Quinn slumped over the island, head cradled in her hands.

  “I’m ready to talk about it now.” Jeff reached his hand over the island and grabbed Quinn’s.

  A long silence followed as Quinn let his familiar touch quell her anger. The demon quieted at his touch. It wanted her to be with Jeff, it liked Jeff. She tried to imagine life like it used to be, but the image of Kerstin and Jeff kissing haunted her.

  I can’t go back. I love Aaron.

  “Aaron is lost to you.” The demon pressed the thought into her mind.

  “What’s there to talk about? We can’t go back.” Quinn pinched the bridge of her nose.

  Shut up. He loves me. I can make him understand.

  “Love?” The demon laughed.

  “Kerstin was a big mistake. The way I treated you, even bigger. I’ll always be sorry for it. Kerstin’s history. I dumped her last night.” Jeff moved behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

  “You loved Jeff once too. Or did you forget how you pushed Aaron away every time you thought Jeff was watching.”

  Quinn went stiff at his touch. “Why did you dump her?” She jerked away, whirling to face him. “No, what I really want to know is why did you dump me? After all we’ve been through?”

  “It’s complicated.” He rubbed his temples. “I couldn’t face you after what I’d done. I had to make it right, somehow. I convinced myself to let you go, it would be better that way. I tried, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Jeff reached for her, but she slapped his hand away.

  “You don’t love Aaron. How could you? If you did, you wouldn’t have left him tonight. If he meant that much to you, you wouldn’t be here with Jeff.”