A Knight in Atlantis

by Diana Bold

  He shuddered, having never actually allowed that word to enter his mind before. Raped? Rape was something that happened to women, was it not? And it had not been like that, never that easy. There had always been the illusion of choice, and perhaps that was what he had struggled with the most.

  “I was a prisoner, thrown in a dungeon. I thought I would die there. But then Sa’id plucked me out to be his personal slave. I went with him willingly enough at first, Rhoswen. He cleaned me up and fed me. He promised me answers. He promised me all matter of things….”

  She pressed her lips against his temple. “You were young. You were curious. He took advantage of you.”

  He swallowed convulsively. “At first, he fulfilled his promises. He taught me astronomy and alchemy, allowed me access to his vast library. In the evenings, he would share his opium pipe, while the women of his harem entertained us.”

  He flushed a bit, remembering the varied sex acts he’d witnessed. Beautiful women, kissing and stroking each other. The opium had dulled his arousal somewhat, leaving him in a dreamlike state of bliss.

  “It shocked you,” she whispered softly, no hint of judgment in her voice. “But you could not help but be intrigued. You wanted to know what it would be like, to lie with such beautiful women.”

  He cast her a quick glance beneath his lashes, surprised by her matter-of-fact tone. “I soon realized that while I was watching them, he was watching me. But by then I had become addicted to the opium and nothing really mattered anymore. I just wanted to drift in that pleasant haze.”

  “He seduced you. When you were at your most vulnerable, he touched you. At first you didn’t even know it was his hand that stroked you.”

  “Bloody hell.” He shoved away from her, scrambling to his knees, his chest heaving as though he had run a long distance. “I do not want you to know these things. I cannot bear it.”

  “Nothing that happened was your fault,” she whispered, pressing against him, refusing to let him put the distance he needed between them. “You did what you had to do to survive. I’m glad you did, Sebastian, because if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been at Hawkesmere to help me. I would have never met you or found out what an amazing man you are.”

  To his horror, he realized he was crying. Harsh, wracking sobs he could not seem to control. He tried once again to pull away, but she hung on with stubborn determination.

  “Oh, Sebastian. It’s all right, darling. It’s all right. I hate what was done to you, but I love you all the more for having survived it.”

  Love? The word stymied him, made the emotions breaking apart inside him even harder to contain. He had never expected this, that she would say the word he wanted so badly to hear, especially not when faced with his weakest moment.

  Crushing her against him, he buried his face in the soft skin between her neck and shoulder, holding her as the wave of emotion slowly subsided.

  Rhoswen hugged Sebastian tightly, wishing she hadn’t pushed him to reveal this to her. She’d hoped to help him put the horror of his past behind him, but feared she’d just made him relive it all.

  She’d never seen a man a cry before and had no idea how to handle it. He tried to hide it from her, but his pain only added to his allure. She loved that he was able to show his emotions this way. Compared to the cool, distant men she’d known in her past, his emotional depth was very appealing.

  She hadn’t meant to tell him she loved him, wasn’t even sure he’d heard her, but she wasn’t sorry she had. For a woman who had never felt very deeply, her feelings for Sebastian were both frightening and exhilarating.

  Pulling back the blankets, she coaxed him to lie down beside her once more, then snuggled up beside him, loving the way it felt to be in his arms. The thought of having this every night crossed her mind once again, and she swore she’d find a way for them to be together for more than the next twenty-four hours. She wanted Sebastian, even if it meant giving up Atlantis forever.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Sebastian and Rhoswen slept. When they awoke, the starry sky of the night before had been replaced by the bright lights of day.

  For a moment, Sebastian just blinked, trying to orient himself. Somehow, the people of ancient Atlantis had found a way to change their environment from night to day, probably in an attempt to give some sort of measurability to the interminable days below the Surface.

  “Amazing, isn’t it?” Rhoswen shifted beside him, pushing herself up on one elbow and giving him a luminous smile. “I still don’t know how it works after all this time.”

  “Fairy magic?” he suggested teasingly.

  She leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss. “I’m so glad you let me come with you. I wouldn’t have missed last night for anything.”

  Would you choose me over Trevelan? He wanted to ask, but did not want to spoil the moment. Last night, she had said she loved him. If only he could bring himself to believe her. If only he could make himself let go of his doubts.

  “I am also glad,” he admitted. “Though I hope the rest of our trip goes this smoothly. I do not want to put you in any danger.”

  “You’ve already made me promise to stay in the tower,” she reminded him. “I’ll be fine.”

  He cupped her face in his hands, staring into her beautiful eyes, willing her to understand how serious he was. “You have to promise me that at the slightest hint of trouble you will go back to Atlantis without me — without Trevelan, if need be. I cannot do what I must if I have to worry about you doing something stupid and heroic.”

  “Stupid and heroic?” She shook her head and gave a soft laugh. “You’re a fine one to talk. You’ve been doing stupid, heroic things since I first met you.”

  He ignored her jab and held her gaze. “Promise me, Rhoswen. I am serious.”

  “All right,” she whispered, her attempt at levity fading. “I swear I won’t do anything to put myself in danger. The last thing I want to do is distract you.”

  “Thank you.” He gave her a long, lingering kiss but managed to bank the explosive passion she always roused within him. They had spent far too much time here already. He pulled reluctantly away and offered her a tender smile. “Shall we get dressed and try to find the secret tower entrance?”

  “I suppose we must. But I’d rather stay here with you. I love you, Sebastian.”

  He would rather stay here, too. He had no illusions about the dangers that lay ahead. His chances of doing everything he needed to do were slim, and the temptation to linger, to prolong this little slice of heaven before his inevitable trip to hell, overwhelmed him.

  If only they could forget Trevelan, forget the dying people of Hawkesmere and spend the rest of their days here in Old Atlantis. Given enough time, he knew he could rebuild the ancient city to some of its former glory. These rock and stone dwellings would never be as comfortable as the apartment she had left behind, but they were far better than Hawkesmere.

  They could forge a life here. The temptation to do so took his breath away. But as he gazed down into her beloved face, he knew her love for him would not survive such selfishness. Giving her one last, lingering kiss, he pushed to his feet and began to dress.

  Suddenly subdued, Rhoswen followed suit. Her movements were jerky—angry even. For a moment, he did not know why, but then he realized he had been so caught up in his mental anguish he had not reciprocated her last statement. More importantly, he had not responded to the one she had made last night in the heat of the moment.

  He opened his mouth, words of love on the tip of his tongue, then closed it regretfully. Was it worse to say the words now, when she would feel they had been forced, or not say them at all?

  Before he could decide, she finished dressing and started packing their things away. It seemed the moment had passed.

  Melancholy, he searched through his pack until he found their bundle of food. He offered her a chunk of soft, white bread to break her fast, and then hurriedly ate his own, impatient to be on their way since there seem
ed to be no other way.

  Ten minutes later, they were hiking down another tunnel, this one on the far side of the settlement from where they had entered. It angled slightly upward and Rhoswen’s compass had determined they were headed in Hawkesmere’s direction. But she had not said more than a handful of words to him since they had finished eating, and he knew he had hurt her.

  He wanted to fix the rift, but did not know how. In a matter of hours, it might not even matter anymore, but he did not want to leave things like this between them. Gathering his nerve, he reached out and caught her arm, turning her to face him.

  “You know I love you, don’t you?”

  She looked up at him, and her eyes filled with tears. “No,” she whispered. “I don’t. How could I? You never said. Not even once.”

  He cupped her face in his hands, overwhelmed with tenderness. “Do you think I would have risked my brother’s wrath if I did not love you? Do you think I would be going to rescue the man who might take you away from me forever if I did not love you?”

  Her tears spilled over, making silvery tracks down her pale cheeks. “There’ve been times I was sure you did, but every time I thought I was certain, you pulled away.”

  “I do not wish to love you,” he admitted hoarsely. “I do not wish to feel this way. The thought of losing you frightens me far more than the thought of dying at my brother’s hands.”

  “Don’t say things like that,” she cried. “Everything’s going to be fine. You won’t lose me. If you want me, I’m yours. Somehow we’ll find a way.”

  “Do you swear?” he asked, afraid to hope. “Do you swear to stay with me, no matter what happens today?”

  “Of course.” She flung her arms around him and hugged him tight. “That’s all I want. That’s the whole reason I wanted to come with you. I didn’t want to say good-bye to you. Not now, not ever.”

  “Rhoswen, my love. I never thought to find someone like you. I never thought I would feel like this. Loving you scares the hell out of me, but I would do anything not to lose this. To keep you.”

  “And I, you,” she whispered. “I love you, Sebastian. Only you. Always you.”

  He held her awhile longer, all the tension and guilt of the last hour fading away. He had done the right thing by telling her. In fact, he had never been so sure of anything in his life. No matter what the day held, he now knew he had done everything possible to put things right between them.

  After a long moment, he pulled reluctantly away. “We have a long way ahead of us. We should keep going.”

  She nodded and brushed away what he hoped were happy tears. “You’re right, of course. But I needed to hear you say that. I needed it more than you can ever know.”

  He gave her a tender smile. “I think I needed to say it even more than you needed to hear it. I have never said those words to anyone before, you know.”

  “Neither have I,” she said softly.

  For a few seconds, they just stared at each other, then she laughed and grabbed his hand, pulling him forward. For a long time, nothing more was said. They continued their trek, hand in hand, down the seemingly endless tunnel.

  As they walked, Sebastian mentally reviewed his plans, such as they were. Before, he had approached Trevelan’s rescue with fatalistic resignation, never truly believing he would survive the attempt, but now he had the promise of a future to look forward to.

  Somehow, he must succeed not only in freeing Trevelan, but in making it out of Hawkesmere himself. He briefly entertained the idea of forgetting about the medicines he had brought, but knew he could never live with himself if he did.

  Perhaps his concern for his fellow man had been late in coming, but his love for Rhoswen had opened his eyes to the world around him. It would be a betrayal of what she had come to mean to him, of the man her love had made him, were he to turn his back on the people of Hawkesmere now.

  He tried to imagine Simon’s state of mind once he had returned to Hawkesmere. Had his brother considered the threat eliminated or had he placed the guards on heightened alert? Had he moved Trevelan back to the dungeons or left him in the tower room where he had been taken to convalesce?

  Miranda might know and she was the only one he trusted enough to ask, but she dwelt outside the castle walls. Seeking her out would negate the advantage of the tunnels.

  No, he would just have to take his chances and depend on his knowledge of the castle’s myriad hidden passageways. The tunnels had been built to provide escape routes for the lords and ladies of Hawkesmere. Hopefully they would shield him from discovery as he navigated Hawkesmere’s walls.

  “You’re quiet,” Rhoswen said, after a long while. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Just making plans.” He shrugged. “Helping Trevelan escape is either going to be relatively simple or damned near impossible. I will not know until I get there.”

  She squeezed his hand in an obvious attempt to offer comfort. “I’ve been thinking, too. I hate that I had to ask this of you, hate that my actions make it necessary to try. But I want you to promise me something now.”

  He cast her a quick glance, suddenly wary. “Of course. Anything you want.”

  “Promise me you won’t take any unnecessary risks. Promise me if, as you say, rescuing Trevelan is damned near impossible, you won’t attempt it. Come back to me, and we’ll try to come up with a different plan.” She stopped and grabbed his other hand, forcing him to stop and meet her earnest gaze. “I won’t lose you both.”

  He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. Her concern for his safety erased the last of his doubts about her feelings for Trevelan. “All right. I promise I will be careful.”

  She searched his eyes for a long moment, as though trying to ascertain the truth behind his words, then finally sighed and started walking again.

  They continued on in silence for what seemed an eternity. Rhoswen had wilted visibly, and he was about to suggest they stop and rest for awhile when the tunnel finally came to an abrupt dead-end. A deep pool of steaming water blocked the path in front of them, and beyond that lay a solid stone wall.

  “This can’t be right,” she muttered, turning around in a circle as though another way would magically appear. “This can’t be the end of the tunnel.”

  He released a low curse of frustration. He had been skeptical of this hidden entrance to the tower all along, but after seeing Old Atlantis he had allowed himself to believe he had somehow overlooked something that had literally been right in front of him for years. Now they had apparently wasted nearly two whole days chasing something that was not there.

  She sank down on one of the stones that rimmed the pool and buried her face in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispered miserably. “I really thought it was here. It should be here.”

  Frowning, he sat his pack down on the tunnel floor and surveyed the pool with sudden interest. She was right. This did not make sense. They had headed in the right direction, the history books claimed a tunnel existed, and he could not imagine the people of Old Atlantis had dug for miles just to end in a hot spring. Especially when there was one inside the tower.

  “The entrance is here,” he assured her. “We just have to find it.” Slipping out of his tunic, he waded into the pool and crossed to the far side where he examined the stones. They must make up the backside of one of the walls of the tower’s hot springs.

  He was certain there was some sort of hidden mechanism here, like those he had found other places in the tower. But after ten long minutes of running his hands over every inch of the wall, he still couldn’t find it.

  “Maybe it’s beneath the waterline,” Rhoswen offered helpfully.

  He gave her a quick grin, impressed by her suggestion. That would explain why he had never found it. “Will the lightstick work under water?”

  She nodded and tossed him one. He gave her a reassuring smile and dove beneath the surface of the pool, shining the light across the stone until he found what he was looking for. About thr
ee feet down there was a passageway chiseled out of the rock, an underwater tunnel. Did it lead all the way through to the tower?

  He came back up for air, taking several deep, cleansing breaths.

  “Did you find anything?” Rhoswen leaned forward, excitement shining in her bright eyes.

  “I think so. There is a tunnel down here. I am going to try to swim through to the other side.”

  “All right,” she answered, a sudden note of worry lacing her voice. “But be careful.”

  He smiled and took another deep breath, then dove swiftly through the water, using one hand to hold the light and the other to guide himself forward. It cannot be much farther, he assured himself, as his lungs began to burn. Just a few more feet and he would break through to the other side.

  But five feet stretched to ten, and then twenty. The tunnel seemed endless, and he had come too far to turn back. If he did not reach the other side soon, he was not going to make it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Five minutes ticked slowly by as Rhoswen watched the pool for any sign of Sebastian. Her heart thundered in her chest, and her anxiety grew with each passing second.

  Where was he?

  At first, she calmed herself with the thought that he had taken a few minutes to catch his breath on the other side. But as the minutes passed interminably by, she became convinced something had happened to him.

  The tunnel had been abandoned for ages. It could have collapsed or become blocked by debris. What if he had become trapped and been unable to turn around? Panic skittered through her veins as the surface of the pool remained placid.

  Without conscious thought, she pushed to her feet and stripped down to her undergarments, keeping her gaze locked upon the water. When he didn’t appear by the time she was done, she grasped the other lightstick and dove into the pool.

  If something had happened to him, she had to know. She couldn’t just sit passively in the tunnel and wait.

  She found the passageway right away and pushed herself through it, shining the light ahead of her in a desperate attempt to see either the end of the tunnel or some sign of Sebastian. After she’d gone at least thirty feet, her panic intensified.