Collected Works of Gaston Leroux

by Gaston Leroux

  Nathalie clung to his arm.

  “Stay, and go and join Hardigras,” she said in an undertone.

  He gently released himself for he knew how devoted she was to him and how much it pained her to speak in this way to him.

  “Men are all crazy,” she added.

  At last he was able to get away. It was with a smile on his face that he appeared at the police station and, with the summons in his hand, asked to see the Chief Commissary of Police. Orders had been given. He was at once shown in, not to the Chief Commissary, but to M. Bezaudin. For all his philosophy, M. Bezaudin was beginning to harbor towards Titin the somewhat harsh feelings that Inspectors Souques and Ordinal had long entertained.

  When some hours after the trouble had occurred the bride’s guardian and her promised husband in a towering rage called at the police office — which Inspectors Souques and Ordinal had just left after being treated like regular blockheads — the Commissary made no attempt to soften their indignation. He shared it.

  “This Titin ought to have been put in prison long ago,” exclaimed the Prince. “He had already threatened to kill me if I married Mlle. Agagnosc.”

  “You ought to have told me so,” said the Commissary.

  “Ought I to tell you also that Titin and Hardigras are one and the same person.”

  “No!” said M. Bezaudin.

  “You knew it and yet you failed to arrest him,” shouted Supia.

  “Well, M. Supia, you requested Titin to arrest Hardigras, and I was waiting. In reality, I wasn’t sure of anything.”

  “What are you going to do now?”

  “Why, I am going to ask Titin to tell Hardigras to give us back the bride.”

  “I’ve had enough of it,” roared Supia. “You must arrest him and put him in prison.”

  “Very well, I am quite willing,” agreed M. Bezaudin. “I’ve no fancy for him any more than you, you know. Ah, I’d like to tell him to go to the devil. He is causing me no end of worry. Everything I said just now to Souques and Ordinal who promised to be answerable for him and still were silly enough to let him go, is nothing compared with what I have personally had to put up with.

  The District Commissary does not often fly into a rage. But this time I thought he was going to throw me out of the window pending my dismissal. Let’s arrest this confounded Titin, then.... And we’ll say no more about it.”

  “Yes, yes, and the sooner the better,” agreed Supia, furiously.

  “The ruffian is utterly unscrupulous,” said Hippothadee. “We know it,” burst out the Commissary, “and Mlle. Agagnosc must take her chance.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Supia, nonplussed.

  “I mean that since he has such a hostage as Mlle. Agagnosc in his hands, a fellow like Titin will know how to make the most of it. But as you want him to be arrested, let’s arrest him. It shall be done to-night or to-morrow. He has no need to lie low. It is sufficient for him to have got Mlle. Agagnosc safely hidden away. But let’s show him we’re not the sort of men to shrink from these considerations. To prison with Titin come what may to Mlle. Agagnosc in the hands of Titin’s friends, who won’t hesitate to avenge him!”

  “It’s monstrous. Do you think he is capable of such a crime?” gasped Supia.

  “I think he is capable of any crime,” yelped Hippothadee. “I have never seen anyone more headstrong than that young fellow.”

  “But he is in love with Toinetta.”

  “Oh, you know nothing of love, M. Supia,” roared Hippothadee. “Titin is the kind who would rather see Mlle. Agagnosc dead than the wife of another.”

  “That’s how men in your country look at things perhaps,” rapped out Supia, disconcerted.

  “Yes, sir, and they call such men heroes.”

  “A nice thing! What an age to live in! Here’s a man who has robbed me and carried off your promised wife. Do you call him a hero!”

  “Gentlemen, I am sorry to interrupt this little argument,” broke in M. Bezaudin, “but I should like to know what you have decided....”

  “You are always asking us what we want done,” said M. Supia, irritably. “But it’s for you, once for all, to act upon your own responsibility.”

  “Very well, I will sign a warrant for his arrest.”

  “No, don’t do that,” protested Hippothadee. “Above all else we want to save Mlle. Agagnosc — to part her from Titin. Well, first of all, get her away from him.”

  “It’s not so easy as you may imagine,” said M. Bezaudin, “but after all, it’s one thing that we must try first. For that reason I must not arrest Titin...

  It was as a result of this conversation that Titin was “invited” to call at the police station. He found the Commissary seated at his desk. M. Bezaudin was on the point of lighting a cigarette. He seemed to remember that Titin also smoked, and offered him his cigarette case. Titin helped himself, thanking him with a nod, and producing his pocket lighter in his turn, handed it to the Commissary.

  “Why are you smiling, Titin?” he asked.

  “What about you?”

  “Allow me, but it’s for me to question you.”

  “That’s true, and I will answer you right away. I was smiling because I know what you’re going to ask me.”

  “I’m glad of that,” said the Commissary, laughing, “for if that is so, we shall not be long in coming to an understanding. Well, what was I going to ask you?”

  Just then the telephone bell rang, and M. Bezaudin with a word of apology took up the receiver.

  “Hullo! Hullo!... What?... What do you say?... Pistafun!... Oh, you don’t say so.... No! It’s out of the question.... Why, they are mad.... Run them all in.... All of them.... No.... Don’t put them with Pistafun!”

  The Commissary hung up the receiver.

  “Your friends are making themselves very disagreeable as was to be expected,” he said.

  “What friends?”

  “Tantifla, Aiguardente, and Tony Bouta.... They want us to give up Pistafun. It seems they’re kicking up a devil of a dust about it.”

  “They are decent fellows and won’t desert their pal in his hour of need,” said Titin.

  “They asked for Pistafun to be set at liberty or to be imprisoned with him. I didn’t want to go against the wishes of these worthy fellows, and so the four of them are in jail! It is the best thing for all of us.”

  “Not for me,” said Titin.

  “Why not?”

  “I will tell you presently.”

  “Meantime as you are so well informed, tell me why I sent for you.”

  “To ask me to restore Mlle. Agagnosc.”

  “Well, you do play the game. So you admit carrying off the bride?”

  “I admit nothing of the sort. M. Ordinal will tell you that he did not leave me during the whole of the incident. Everyone could see us together at Camousse’s restaurant at the very moment when Hardigras drove off with Mlle. Agagnosc.”

  “Allow me. At that time M. Ordinal saw nothing at all because your friend Pistafun had locked him up in some room.”

  “That does not agree with Pistafun’s version of the matter.... I’m not surprised that M. Ordinal was hustled and found some difficulty in getting away seeing there was such a great crowd at Camousse’s. Pistafun is very indignant at the treatment he received after assisting, once in a way, the police. I know him. He will never do it again! As to his friends, how could they be other than incensed by such injustice? And you nab them! Really, I’m surprised you haven’t arrested me before now. You are only asking for trouble to-day. And that’s not like you, let me tell you.”

  “You are making me out either better or worse than I am, my dear Titin. Pending an agreement between us I sent for you so that we might understand each other. Do you know where Mlle. Agagnosc is?”

  “How should I know? I’m not Hardigras.”

  “But Hardigras may tell you....”

  “Possibly.”

  “Do you know him?”

  “No, but I
have a friend who knows him. It seems he is not a bad sort. I may as well say at once that I’ve made arrangements to meet him. I have a great regard for Mlle. Agagnosc, and don’t want anything to happen to her. On that matter we are in agreement.”

  “Look here, Titin, if you have a great regard for Mlle. Agagnosc you will arrange for her to be taken home to her guardian this evening. Her reputation depends upon it. Her honor depends upon it. Have you thought of that?”

  “I have thought of it and also of this: No worse calamity can happen to a girl than to become the wife of Prince Hippothadee. Are we still agreed?”

  M. Bezaudin greatly perplexed, was silent. Titin rose from his chair.

  “What are you going to do?” asked the Commissary quickly.

  “I’m off. I can do nothing more here, now that we are no longer agreed. I’m off, unless you’re going to have me arrested.”

  “You know quite well that I’m not going to have you arrested; otherwise who will get into touch with Hardigras?”

  Titin bent over him.

  “You know yourself that the Prince is a scoundrel and Supia not much better, and this marriage an infamy.”

  “Why did she accept him?”

  “She won’t accept him again,” cried Titin, his eyes all aglow with delight.

  “Ah, you know that!” exclaimed M. Bezaudin, laughing loudly. “So you have already seen Hardigras!”

  “Well, yes, I have seen him. There!” Titin could not help blurting out. He bit his lip until the blood came, and flushed. His joy as a lover had carried him off his feet and he had given himself away like a child. M. Bezaudin having scored did not dwell on his victory. He held the whip hand for the moment and kept it.

  “If she won’t accept him again what have you to fear on her account?”

  “Everything,” returned Titin. “Granting that she returns to her relatives and says she doesn’t wish to marry Hippothadee, she will be none the less under the thumb of these people for some years. She is but a child. She will end by giving way.”

  “Then it means that she is not in love with you,” said M. Bezaudin, ruthlessly.

  Titin grew pale. He made no answer either because he had nothing to say or lacked the strength to utter a word.

  “Titin, my friend, you are on a very slippery path.... But there is some hope for you. You are a better chap than you make yourself out to be. The people round here have spoilt you because they have been too fond of you. Take care! You will allow yourself to be involved in matters which will turn everybody’s hand against you. When a man claims to be his own master, his own judge, when he puts himself above the law, a time comes when he stumbles and falls. And then he is trampled under foot.

  ... Titin, my friend, listen to me as a Commissary of Police. It is none too soon. You have played the fool long enough as it is. I will even go so far as to say that you no longer have the right to do so because you are in love and perhaps also because you are loved. Send back Mlle. Agagnosc to her relatives at once if you are an honest man.”

  “Mlle. Agagnosc shall be with them this evening,” said Titin in a voice broken with emotion.

  “Thank you Titin. I know you better than all the others, believe me. One of these days, perhaps, we shall become good friends. By Jove, don’t take on like that.”

  “Hang it all, I’m not!” protested Titin, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “This confounded Bezaudin — I beg your pardon sir — can do what he likes with me!” Just then the telephone bell rang again. With a gesture of impatience M. Bezaudin snatched up the receiver.

  “What?... Again?... Did you not put them in prison as they asked.... Yes.... Well, what then? They’re smashing up everything.... They want their Pistafun. Well, put them all together.... Give them a pack of cards and tell them to stop worrying us.”

  M. Bezaudin hung up the receiver.

  “Your friends are very troublesome,” he said.

  “More than you think, sir, for they are only just beginning. If I were in your place I should get rid of them at once. It would be safer. You can’t imagine what these fellows are capable of doing when they get together and are supposed to be playing a quiet game of cards.”

  “Still you wouldn’t wish me to release Pistafun?”

  “They want to be all together, and I would rather see them together outside than inside.... And then I will tell you my mind — one good turn deserves another. I know Hardigras. He won’t agree to give up Mlle. Agagnosc unless you release his Pistafun, Aiguardente, Tantifla, and Tony Bouta.”

  “Are they, too, friends of Hardigras?” asked M. Bezaudin, smiling.

  “Rather! Hardigras can’t do without them. He can’t play bowls without Pistafun.”

  “I perceive more and more that Hardigras’s friends are your friends,” said M. Bezaudin, signing an order for the release of the four friends.

  “What conclusion do you draw from that?”

  “That I shall be ‘slanged’ by Ordinal, and you’ll end by getting me put on the retired list,” said M. Bezaudin, showing Titin the order for release.

  “There will always be a room for you at Mme. Bibi’s — if that’s any consolation.”

  When Titin had left, M. Bezaudin dropped into his seat with a feeling of unspeakable satisfaction.

  “Whew! I had him.”

  Just then a messenger informed him that Prince Hippothadee and M. Supia were waiting to see him. When they learned that Mlle. Agagnosc would be home again that evening they were loud in their congratulations. The Commissary declared that it needed very few words from him to bring about this result.

  “Titin is not such a bad fellow as you think.”

  “Perhaps you’re right,” said Supia. “And as to that, I should like to have a word with you in private. Will you allow me, my dear Hippothadee?”

  “Why, of course, my dear Supia. I’ll go and tell the good news to Mme. Supia, who is worrying herself.”

  “My dear Commissary,” began M. Supia, when they were alone. “I shall end by thinking like you that we were greatly mistaken in Titin. But tell me, did it occur to you, when you were together, to suggest to him that old idea of yours which, perhaps, is not such a bad one after all?”

  “What idea are you referring to?”

  “What! Have you forgotten it? It was a question of promising Titin to pass the sponge over the past if he would restore the more important articles, particularly the furniture, which it amused him to take away from Bella Nissa.”

  “But it was Hardigras who took the things.”

  “Good lord, wasn’t it Hardigras who carried off my ward, and isn’t it Titin who is sending her back to me?”

  “I agree. Hardigras does so exactly what Titin wishes that I might, of course, have said a word in passing and settled the Bella Nissa affair; but I had already arranged with him about Mlle. Agagnosc. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

  “Fix this up for me and you won’t regret it,” urged M. Supia.

  “If this matter can be fixed up, I will see to it for you apart from any question of gratitude.”

  “It can be fixed up. It will be easier than arranging Mlle. Agagnosc’s return which you managed so well.”

  “I don’t agree with you. I was able to persuade Titin in that matter because it concerned the honor of his old playmate. But in your affair I fear I should meet with many difficulties. I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but that youth hates you.”

  “Do you think it will last?

  “Hang it, you must ask Hardigras that question.”

  “Look here, M. Bezaudin, I will tell you how you can arrange this business.”

  “I’m listening,” said M. Bezaudin, who had rarely seen M. Supia in such agitation, and asked himself: “What am I going to hear now? What piece of blackguardism is the old pirate going to drag out this time?”

  At last Supia made up his mind to speak:

  “I know why Titin has a grudge against me. When he was in the army, I made
a deal over Mme. Bibi’s land. Oh, it was a small matter. But then she was very keen on her little place, the confounded old woman. On the other hand, it interfered with my plans. You understand, it obstructed my view. At last I got hold of her land. She didn’t gain anything certainly, and she didn’t lose either. It was hardly worth anything. On returning to the district Titin let himself go in very strong language. Now that we know for certain that Hardigras and Titin are one and the same person, the whole thing comes back to my mind. Mark me, Titin would never have robbed me, probably, if I had not....”

  “If you had not robbed him,” said the Commissary completing the sentence.

  “You are very severe, Bezaudin. You were not so severe upon Hardigras. Anyway, you now see what happened. The whole thing has been done by way of retaliation.”

  “Reprisals.”

  “Do you say that — you who represent the law?”

  “No, I certainly don’t say it. But Titin says it — granting of course that Titin is Hardigras.”

  “Let’s make an end of it. Please tell Titin that if he restores what he has taken, and promises to stop these Hardigras games, I will give back Mme. Bibi’s land. It will be child’s play for you to carry through this little affair. Can I rely on you?”

  “I will repeat our conversation to him, and hope we may be satisfied with the result.”

  At six o’clock that evening the Supia family and Prince Hippothadee were together in the Managing Director’s office at Bella Nissa. The two men were impatiently waiting for Antoinette’s return. Mme. Supia and Caroline displayed much more composure. Caroline in particular was in no hurry to see the future Princess of Transylvania. And, indeed, in her heart of hearts she was still hoping that Titin would keep his Toinetta for good and all.

  At last the bell rang. Almost at once the maid came in and announced:

  “Mlle. Agagnosc!”

  They all rose to their feet and hastened to meet her. But they were amazed to see standing before them a lovely child clad in the old-time costume of the country which is still to be encountered occasionally in remote parts of the mountain districts.

  “Well, don’t you recognize me? Did you expect me to come back in my bride’s dress?”