Blue Anesthesia

by Daniel Lidman

  If I’m lucky, I might find an object that I can use as a weapon.

  As he started running in the opposite direction, he saw the outline of a shadow in the distance, approaching him. Axel ran into the first corridor on his right, hearing the distant footsteps draw closer. It felt like he had entered nothing, as if the world around him had been erased. He tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness, blinking over and over; still, he saw nothing but the color of black. He put his arms in front of him, resembling a zombie, and started to walk forward. He was too afraid to run, in case he might bump into something. Axel’s hands touched a solid surface; soft, as if Axel ran his hands through the fur of a sheep. Beneath all that fur—a sharp, rocky stone. Already, Axel had met a wall, coated with dust. It dawned on him that this wasn’t a corridor, but a small room.

  He gasped for breath, mentally exhausted. He tried to think, but the scratching of the beetle disturbed his thoughts. He reached into his mouth with his hand, trailing it across his upper gums. He felt the first stages of a healing process as the tip of his finger ran across seemingly dry wounds. Moist flesh stuck to his finger as he reached the middle of his upper gums. With his other hand, Axel began to pound at the side of his head, trying to draw out the beetle. A bump raced across his upper gums. He pinched it with two of his fingers; using his nails to dig into the gums, almost losing his grip as blood began to pour, turning the grip slippery. Axel applied relentless effort. The tip of his nails broke through flesh, touching the shell of the beetle. Flesh surrounding the bump began to break apart, and then let loose. Axel clasped the beetle. Insect legs stung against his fingers. He brought the beetle out of his mouth. He couldn’t see what it looked like, in the dark, and a part of him was appreciative of that. Axel ran his tongue over drops of blood, sweeping them up from his bottom lip, back into his mouth. They were thick, encased in meaty strings. He swallowed them with the rest of the blood in his mouth; a sip of warm, metallic tea.

  He squeezed his fingers together. Insect legs squirmed and then stopped. Warm, sticky liquid ran down his fingers, settling in the wrinkles of his palm. Axel used the rough fabric of his jeans as a napkin.

  The beetle is dead, he thought with fresh mental air. Thank God for that.

  He turned around, wiping the rest of the blood from his mouth onto his sleeve. He walked with increased speed toward the narrow corridor. Haunting footsteps were no longer distant.

  They were close.

  He stepped out of the room, into the lighter dark of the corridor, darting toward the fifth lightbulb. He saw Humphrey stand on the edge of the fifth lightbulb’s perimeter. His lower half stood inside of the light, and the rest hid in the dark, like a story-teller with a flashlight beneath his chin.

  In the dark, his eyes were empty of color. They looked as they had on the night when he peeked into Axel’s room. Now, however, Axel saw their insidious details.

  “The best thing about having a guest over is that you can control his movement. You can lock certain doors, keeping him away from spaces not meant to be seen. That’s fun, wouldn’t you say?”

  “If you come any closer, you’re dead.”

  “I don’t think so, crabby.” Humphrey played peek-a-boo with the light, leaning in and out of it, giggling.

  Axel tightened his fists. “C’mon.”

  “You are here for one purpose.” Humphrey pointed at Axel with his hand and arm in the light; the rest of him was still in the dark. “If you do not fulfill that purpose, and fail to deliver me The Valuables by means of fighting back, escaping, or killing the beetle, then I will forget about you. And target the one with the glasses.”

  Thoughts gnawed in Axel’s head. His words were wrapped in terror. “What are you talking about?”

  “Susanne wears glasses, does she not? Your sister wears glasses. And, do you know what that tells me, crabby? Giving the fact that she’s related to you?”

  Axel said nothing.

  “It tells me that she’s hiding something behind those glasses. Glasses have additional functions besides simply improving vision, wouldn’t you say? They’re also used for protection. What is she protecting, crabby? Does she store The Valuables inside of her eyeballs? Does she store The Valuables inside of her white, glistening eyeballs, which are an exact replica of your shiny, white teeth?”

  “How…how did you find her?”

  “The internet is a wonderful place. It allows me to be part of your world from a distance. You didn’t really think that I would be unprepared, did you?”

  Humphrey took a few steps forward. Axel saw how dust floated around his image, making Humphrey appear as a corpse from an ancient cellar. “So white,” Humphrey said in a mocking tone. “So mean,” he finished in a whisper of vengeance.

  “YOU LAY OFF HER YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

  Axel’s fury made him take a few steps forward. But he saw an image, freezing him in place. Humphrey’s eyes met Axel’s with the swift of a predator smelling prey. His pupils extended to adjust to the light, turning his eyes black. They were absent of any glimmer; as dry as the dust surrounding them. They were as empty and dark as the room Axel had come out of. If the beetle had molded itself with a human, this is what it would look like.

  “What are you going to do, crabby?” His voice wore no emotion. “Your body is weak. You’re in the arms of fear, and it has rendered you unstable, without confidence. Are you going to take a chance, and dance with me? Are you going to risk your sister’s life? What if I have a scalpel on me? How would you know, crabby?”

  “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!”

  “But you know that I cannot do that. You carry The Valuables, crabby. You have the beetle inside of you. Strange, wouldn’t you say? The world is going to be changed for the better by the very thing that humans despise the most—an insect.”

  Humphrey stood directly beneath the lightbulb now. The dark corridor behind him was a fitting background. “We can forget all about this, crabby. We can wait for the beetle and The Valuables, together. Your sister will never be harmed if you follow my lead. What do you say, crabby? Take my hand and I’ll let you experience blue anesthesia as I originally intended before this mess. Before we go, you can use the restroom.” Humphrey’s blue glove screamed in its fabric as his hand extended.

  Axel looked at the inviting hand. Humphrey was right: Axel was weak and overwhelmed with emotion. And what if Humphrey did indeed carry a scalpel or another kind of weapon? Surely he must’ve thought of a way to defend himself. Anyone would arm themselves with a weapon if they kept a personal prisoner, a risk. An attempted escape would be obvious. Axel wouldn’t gamble his sister’s life on simple chance. All odds were against him here, except one. Axel knew something that Humphrey didn’t: the beetle is dead. Axel no longer carried what Humphrey called The Valuables. He wouldn’t find out about the beetle. There had been times when even Axel didn’t know where the beetle was. It was a small insect, which hid under his flesh. It could hide from all the flesh up toward his nose, and then extend to the spaces within his left and right cheek. If Axel had trouble finding the beetle, then Humphrey would, too. And the deep wound, which appeared when Axel ripped off flesh along with the beetle, would fit right in with all the other wounds.

  Ever since the beetle had been planted in Axel’s mouth, Humphrey had never searched for it—not once. He believed in patience, and that the beetle would crawl out on its own. And why did he believe that it was always there without ever checking? Because Axel had said it was there, and acted as if it was, and so it had. Humphrey couldn’t understand or process jokes. Would the same go for lies? Would Humphrey have just as hard of a time processing and understanding them?

  Only one way to find out…

  All Axel knew right now was that the chances of Humphrey finding out about the beetle were much slimmer than the chance of Axel winning a brawl. This wasn’t about Axel anymore; this was about his sister, Susanne.

  Axel reached for Humphrey’s hand, grabbing it. And in that moment, Axel gained t
he will to live. Not for himself, but for his sister.

  Chapter Six

  The Verse-of-U

  1

  Like a man in an adult stroller, Axel laid on a hospital bed, casting his eyes up at the blue sky. He was in an outside area, surrounded by huge stone walls.

  Whatever this place was, Axel thought. They didn’t want people escaping.

  At the feet of the wall, were the dead remains of flowers, hunched over in their last breath. Grass from the underworld poked out of cracks from a walkway of cement. Although the things around him were dead and unappealing, the sky was as beautiful as ever. Part of him wanted to move around, but Humphrey had chained him to the bed. And, he supposed he had gotten enough exercise for today.

  Humphrey stood beside him. His surgical mask had been taken off, and placed on the side of the bed. Warm sweat surrounded the part of Humphrey’s face where the mask had been, glistening in the light of nature. He looked like a kid who had shoved his face in pizza, covering half of it with grease.

  A raven chirped in the distance. Good. Quiet and awkward moments with people were bad enough but quiet and awkward moments with Humphrey Windrill were on a whole other level. White clouds moved across the sky, and if this had been a date, Axel suspected he would’ve told Humphrey what his interpretations of these clouds were. He managed a small smile, which broke the silence. Humphrey let out a deep breath and reached for his surgical mask.

  “Beautiful, wouldn’t you say?” Humphrey asked, glancing up at the blue sky.

  “Yeah,” Axel agreed.

  “You smiled, crabby; you’re experiencing blue anesthesia.”

  Axel said nothing. He broke his eye contact with the sky and looked at Humphrey with a questionable look. Humphrey felt Axel’s eyes upon him.

  “Anesthesia is a medical term. It means that you’re in a state of temporary relief, away from pain. That’s what you feel when you look up at the blue sky. It captures not only your stare but your thoughts. It soothes your mind and turns your thoughts to the same color of blue. It’s blue anesthesia, crabby. Have you ever noticed how good the color blue is?”

  “Well, yeah, I suppose,” Axel said with slight hesitation, thinking of blueberries.

  Humphrey painted a smile. “Not only is our sky blue, but our ocean is blue. Our food comes from the ocean, and before planes were invented and bridges were built, the ocean was our only way of exploring. Humanity was brought together because of blue. We sang our songs of triumph and victory whilst sailing blue. When the sun is shining with warmth, making people the happiest they will be all year, what color is the sky, crabby?”

  “Blue,” Axel replied.

  “That’s right, crabby. And where do the people go on that warm, summer day? They travel to the beaches. Where the ocean is?”

  “Blue,” Axel said again, starting to feel strange.

  Humphrey went on. “The protectors of our world, the police, wear blue. Why do you think that out of any color, they decided to wear blue?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “They wear blue because the blanket of our sky is blue. The blanket was laid upon the world by the Verse-of-U, protecting us from the evil of other realms. We are the children of the Verse-of-U, and all of us share one big, blue blanket.”

  Axel struggled to stretch within the tight jaws of the chains. “What about the night? When the sky is black? If blue is the color of warmth and protection, why are we still safe when the sky is black?”

  Humphrey laughed. “When do most crimes take place, crabby?”

  “At night,” Axel replied.

  “Uh-huh. Most crimes take place at night because the blue color of the sky is gone. You see, a blanket is a part-time thing. We only use our blanket at night. When we wake, we don’t carry them with us at all times. It’s the same thing with the blue blanket of our sky. The blue blanket is also a part-time thing. Even almighty power needs to recharge and rest, crabby. But that’s no problem for us because we have been granted with the ability to sleep. And, once again, when do we sleep?”

  “We sleep at night.”

  “Precisely,” Humphrey cheered. “We sleep at night to fast-forward until the sky is blue again. That’s when we feel safe. Most of us work when the sky is blue; most of us do our daily chores when the sky is blue, and most of us are at our happiest when the sky is blue. It’s not a coincidence, crabby. Blue anesthesia is a real thing. It’s the work of the Verse-of-U, and we should follow our protector rather than our protector’s protector, which in this case is our society. Because, really, how good is our society at protecting us when it comes down to it?”

  Axel thought of his current situation. He bellowed laughter. “It fucking sucks at protecting us, that’s for sure.”

  “Not only that, crabby, but it fails at protecting a handful of us. Even when society doesn’t worry or care about the miserable souls in other parts of the world, they still fail to protect their own people. Society doesn’t care to protect all souls; it only cares to protect the ones born on its own soil. Unlike the blue blanket, which covers all of Earth, society’s blanket only covers small parts of the world. And that’s why, crabby, I follow the blue sky, and the Verse-of-U. They protect all of humanity. And since I have high morals and care about humanity as a whole, I choose to follow what’s right.”

  Axel was once again puzzled by the logic in Humphrey’s speech. Humphrey mentioned morals. Now that was a joke if Axel had ever heard one.

  Axel returned to his original plan of acting friendly with Humphrey, but this time, with a twist. Instead of Humphrey killing Axel at the climax, Axel would have to kill Humphrey, if it ever came to that. Although, even after everything Humphrey had put Axel through, he didn’t want it to come that. Axel suspected that if they were to struggle for their lives in a heated battle, Humphrey would win, for Axel would hesitate at the delivery of the death-blow; afraid of what might gush out.

  He would act friendly with Humphrey until Humphrey’s guard loosened, as the original plan intended, and then he would make his move. Axel hoped that once he gained Humphrey’s full trust, an opportunity would present itself where he could knock Humphrey out, search for the keys, and escape. He would then somehow reach the nearest phone as soon as possible, call his sister, and in return, she would call the police for her own protection, as well as the others in his family. Axel prayed that Humphrey wouldn’t find out about the beetle before then.

  “How did you learn all of this, Humphrey?”

  “A raccoon taught me this true way of life.”

  Axel burst out in wet laughter. He looked to Humphrey, somehow expecting Humphrey to laugh with him, but he didn’t. Axel stopped laughing, pretending to have a coughing fit, instead.

  “A raccoon taught you all of this?”

  “Yes, crabby, a raccoon taught me all of this. Not only that but this raccoon also smoked cigarettes.”

  “Speaking of which,” Axel said. He stopped for a second, sliding his jaw to the side in a thinking manner, considering if he should ask or not. When he realized that it would look worse if he stopped talking entirely, he decided to ask. “Why do you call me crabby?”

  Humphrey looked like a man who had been asked why the sun shines. His eyebrows wrinkled around his surgical mask. “It’s quite simple. You’re sad, crabby. I noticed it the first time I saw you in that diner. I’ve been around enough sadness to know when I see it, believe me. Just as happiness shows in a smile, sadness shows, too—in the eyes.

  “Unlike dolphins, which surround the blue surface of the ocean, crabs exist at the bottom, where it’s black. That’s why you’re a crab; you’re at the bottom. Besides, crabs move quite comically, and you’re a comedian.”

  The wind turned from a whisper to a choir of melody, touching skin with the context of sound. It communicated with fabric, and fabric returned the greeting with sounds of hollow flapping.

  “It’s talking to us,” Humphrey said. “The Verse-of-U is talking to us!” He waved an excited hand.
“HELLO, KIND PROTECTOR OF ALL CHILDREN AND SOULS!” He turned to Axel. “Say hi, crabby!”

  Axel’s hand waved, stale as stone. “Hello,” he said in melancholy.

  “Alright,” Humphrey breathed. “Better not overstay our welcome, huh? If you overstay your welcome, people might get tired of you.”

  “Don’t I know it,” Axel said, as Humphrey went behind the bed, giving it a slight push.

  “And we wouldn’t want the Verse-of-U to get tired of us, would we, crabby?”

  The world has been tired of me for months now, Axel thought. It wanted to get rid of me. And for a long time, I shared that thought and was tired of myself. But, I suppose we’re in an abusive relationship now because I’m no longer tired of the world. He smiled, thinking of Susanne. He felt the wind caress the first hairs of his mustache with a cold breeze.

  And I plan to stick around.

  2

  The memory of the blue sky and the touch of wind repeated in Axel’s head. He was back in the dark room. Maybe it was just his imagination, but Axel felt positive that the chains were tighter now. No worries, he thought, and leaned his head backward. He had stretched his legs enough during his escape attempt, and he felt more comfortable now. The previous hours he had spent chained to this chair felt like they never even happened. Of course, he still carried the cruel reminder of what Humphrey had done to his mouth. There were many times when Axel wished his tongue would perish. It was uncomfortable to the point of frustration to constantly feel the wounds in his mouth, along with the strings of flesh, now dry like beef jerky. His mouth had gone from a slaughterhouse, providing fresh, bloody meat, to a corner store, packed with dried meat. Some of his wounds were gritty, and running over them with his tongue was like licking a dry rock with a few pinches of sand.

  The strings of flesh hanging from the roof of his mouth had now shrunken, as well. As they started to dry, they spiraled upwards with wrinkles, leaving more space for his tongue to levitate in. Axel didn’t like the feeling of his tongue touching those strings of flesh; it reminded him of licking dry grass, or hay.