The Vexation of Vampires (Penny White Book 5)

by Chrys Cymri

  ‘England!’ the gathering shouted back. The declaration was picked up and spread through the camp. ‘England! England! England!’

  Morey leapt up to my free shoulder. ‘Oh, dear. Do you think you should tell them about all the rain?’

  ‘Magister! Magister!’ A young voice cut through the chanting. A young girl, who looked no older than Katherine, pushed her way through to the front. ‘Magister, please, come to Maxence. He be stuck between a change!’

  Elthan spun away from me and hurried over to a metal box which hulked in a far corner of the tent. One hand reached down his shirt, and he pulled out a large black key. The crowd drew back as the vampire opened the lock and lifted up the thick lid. His hands reached inside and pulled out a brass coloured flask.

  The metal lid clanged back into place, and then the magister strode from the tent, Geffrai two steps behind. I hurried after them, Morey clinging to my shoulder as I lengthened my strides.

  We headed past tents and a herd of tethered goats. A few vampires called out to Elthan, but he merely shook his head and kept up his fast pace. My legs started to ache, and I had to breathe through my mouth, but I was determined not to lose him. I still had too many questions to ask.

  Several of the strange horses had gathered at the edge of the camp. I felt my steps slow. Their heads shifted between horse and human, and some of them had hands instead of hooves at the ends of their legs. Fingers gripped and pawed at the long grass.

  One body sprawled out across the ground. Elthan dropped to his knees and handed the flask to Geffrai. I ignored the pounding in my head and forced myself to come alongside the younger vampire.

  A sound which blended whinny and scream emerged from the prostrate figure. I rubbed my eyes, but the blur remained. The being was neither horse nor human, or perhaps he was trying to be both. The upper torso was of a muscular human, arms thrashing around his horse head. The lower body was the hindquarters and legs of a grey horse. The long tail whipped across Elthan’s arms as he lowered his hands onto the struggling figure.

  Several bats fluttered around us, squealing in high-pitched excitement. The magister leaned back and raised his voice. ‘Children! Leave us! You know how dangerous this be! Even the fumes of letherum can change you!’

  The pups lifted away, fleeing to the tents. ‘Don’t worry,’ Morey told me, keeping voice low. ‘Letherum only affects weres. We’re both safe.’

  I was torn between curiosity and concern. Concern won. ‘What about Elthan? And Geffrai?’

  ‘They’re already in bipedal form. They’ll be okay.’

  Geffrai removed the flask’s cork stopper and handed it back to Elthan. The magister upended the container and dribbled thick yellow liquid on the horse head, down the torso, and across the hindquarters to the tail. A smell like a mixture of pressed garlic and sharp vinegar rose into the air. Then he returned the flask to the younger vampire.

  The horse-human shuddered. His features shifted. The chest deepened, sprouted grey hair. The arms stretched out into legs, the hands thickened into hooves. And, in less than a minute, a horse lay under Elthan’s hands.

  ‘Rest,’ the magister told him. ‘Sleep.’ The vampire rose to his feet and glanced over at Geffrai. ‘We need to increase the dose we be giving to Maxence.’

  The younger vampire shook his head. ‘The dose be already high.’

  ‘No choice have we.’ Elthan rubbed his hands against his grey trousers. ‘Not ‘til he be at the Guild.’

  ‘The Guild?’ Morey asked. ‘Do you mean the Guild of St Raphael?’

  ‘That be the one. You know of it?’

  ‘I had a month’s placement with Father Llewellyn, the chaplain there, when I was in the seminary.’ Morey looked at me. ‘The Guild takes in not-weres.’

  ‘Which,’ I pointed out, ‘no one has explained to me.’

  ‘What explaining be you needing?’ Geffrai demanded. ‘You did see with eyes of your own.’

  ‘Not all weres are able to control how and when they change,’ Morey explained, keeping his voice low as he eyed the horses still standing nearby. ‘You’ve just seen what that looks like.’

  ‘And that stuff, the letherum, helps them to stop changing?’

  ‘Yes,’ Morey said. ‘But it works differently on each species. Sounds like it fixes vampires into biped mode, and were-horses into horse mode. It’s only used in the direst cases.’

  ‘But wouldn’t it be a good thing, to be in only one type of body?’

  The nearest horse snorted. ‘Ydych chi'n siarad amdanom ni? Rŷm ni’n gallu’ch clywed chi, chi’n gwybod.’

  ‘Sorry,’ I quickly apologised in Welsh. ‘Of course you can hear us talking about you. And yes, you’re right, that was very rude of us.’

  Elthan stroked the bay’s neck. ‘Of your kindness, Hadrien, grant Penny your pardon. She be a one-face, a being trapped forever in only the one form. There be no malice in her words, only misunderstanding.’

  The response by Hadrien took me a moment to translate. ‘My sorrow for your inability to shift form. I now understand your bitterness.’

  I stared at the human-faced horse, unable to think of a suitable response.

  Elthan gave me a reassuring smile. ‘We thank you for visiting our camp. You brought with you the welcome of England. Tell to your superiors that we bring the best of ourselves to your country. Glad they will be, to open hearts and homes to our colony.’

  Sue Harkness had only asked that I find out why vampires were travelling to England. It wasn’t my job to try to dissuade them, even if I could have brought myself to say something which would have removed the hope shining in Elthan’s eyes. ‘I’ll tell them that,’ I said cautiously.

  ‘And come by again.’

  I had the sinking feeling that Sue might very well ask that of me. But I forced myself to give him a smile. ‘Thank you.’

  We had obviously been dismissed. The vampires started back to the camp. Morey had once again slipped around to my back. When he deigned to climb to my shoulder, after the tents were several hundred yards behind us, I asked, ‘Why do the not-weres bother you?’

  ‘You spend a month at the Guild,’ Morey replied, ‘and you see how you like it.’

  I shuddered. ‘Just this morning was enough, thanks.’

  A dragon uncurled from the ground as we approached. The green-black scales shimmered in the noon sun as Raven turned his elegant head in our direction. ‘Direct to your car, magnificent Penny? Or we could seek out another adventure, if the gryphon is at all like his son?’

  Morey’s feathers ruffled. ‘What do you mean by that?’

  ‘He took Jago and me on a visit to some merpeople,’ I said. ‘Interesting, but not dangerous. Raven, what happened to the tacsi dragon?’

  ‘I sent her away.’ His jaws opened in a soundless laugh. ‘Really, Penny, you know I don’t like you flirting with another dragon.’

  ‘I don’t flirt with any other dragon,’ I snapped. Then I flushed as I realised what I’d said.

  Raven chuckled. ‘Your coat is at my feet. If you’d like to climb up, I’ll take you both back to England.’

  Chapter Seventeen

  ‘But he’s my friend,’ I told Morey as I drove us away from Newton. The flight had been uneventful, and Raven left us after reminding me that he was a better flyer than any tacsi dragon.

  ‘If he’s your friend, then he needs to honour your commitment to Peter.’ Morey’s claws were digging deep into the passenger seat. ‘Friends don’t flirt with women who are engaged to be married.’

  ‘This is Raven we’re talking about. Flirting is like breathing to him.’

  ‘He only flirts with you,’ Morey said. ‘I’m grateful for the help Raven has given us in the past. I’m not saying that you should abandon all contact with him. But you need to establish some boundaries, before there are any misunderstandings and someone gets hurt.’

  ‘Speaking of boundaries,’ I said, ‘I wonder what Sue Harkness plans to do when I tell her that the
colony is determined to cross over to England. There’s not much the British government can do, is there?’

  ‘All they need to do is shut off Nenehampton Cathedral.’

  ‘They’re vampires. They’ll just change into bats and fly out.’

  ‘Only the pups can change,’ Morey reminded me. ‘The adults sacrificed that ability by eating solid food. The colony can be rounded up and shipped back. The pups would go with them. A child won’t abandon a parent.’

  ‘Even if the parents tell them to?’

  ‘I can’t imagine any circumstance which would lead a parent to do that.’

  We were approaching the last villages before the outskirts of Northampton. The rain had eased, but water still sprayed from tyres and collected in dips in the road. I consoled myself with the thought that several layers of dirt would have been washed off my ancient Ford. ‘So you don’t think there’s any chance of the colony being granted the right to stay in England?’

  ‘I can imagine what the minister would say,’ Morey replied. ‘If you let one lot in, then word gets back, and the next colony comes over. And the next and the next after that. I should think the government has enough on its hands with Brexit. That’ll be her attitude.’

  Both Skylar’s VW and James’ BMW were on the drive, so I had to park on the road. As my umbrella had been lost somewhere in the thin place at Newton, Morey dashed through the drizzle to land under the shelter of the storm porch. I pulled on my jacket and walked more slowly to the house. My back had started to ache from, I assumed, the tacsi dragon’s clumsy landing.

  We entered the house to the warm smell of fish and chips. My stomach rumbled. When I reached the kitchen, Morey was already tucking into the chips lying abandoned on Skylar’s plate. Clyde and Jago were at James’ elbow, chewing on portions of their own.

  ‘You should’ve texted me,’ James said as I stared hungrily at the leftovers. ‘I could’ve picked up some for you.’

  ‘And how could I know you were going to the chippy?’ I asked. ‘Telepathy?’

  Skylar giggled. ‘I don’t think that’d be a good idea, actually. James tells all sorts of jokes I don’t think a vicar should hear. Although they’re really, really funny. And I’ll have to go to see my confessor soon and tell her that I laughed at all of them. He’s really funny, James is. I could listen to him all day.’

  The look on my brother’s face was one I’d never seen before. Embarassment, pleasure, and a vulnerability that made him seem both older and younger than his twenty-three years. ‘I guess I’d better go,’ he said with a slight stutter. ‘I have a meeting in Milton Keynes this afternoon with a potential investor.’

  ‘For the pottery you bring over from Caer-grawnt?’ I asked, walking over to the kettle to make some tea.

  ‘We’re hoping to expand. Maybe bring in some timber products.’ James turned back to Skylar. ‘If the mill in Caer-grawnt can move onto higher value items, Lord Willis will increase the workers’ pay.’

  Skylar nodded. ‘And so more kids can go to school? I think that’s wonderful. All children deserve an education, so they can improve their chances and the lives of their families. What you’re doing is fantastic, James. Don’t you think so, Penny?’

  ‘It’s fantastic,’ I agreed. ‘Is your assembly plan ready for me to look at yet?’

  ‘It’ll be done this afternoon.’ Skylar rose from the table, and gave James one last smile. ‘See you tonight?’

  ‘Wouldn’t miss it.’

  A moment later both of them had vacated the room. And left their plates and mugs on the table for me to clean away. I stifled a sigh and carried their lunch remains to the kitchen bin. Then, armed with a strong cup of tea and a cheese sandwich, I returned to the table.

  Clyde’s body was pulsing with orange and his tentacles weaved around his head. Jago raised his crest, then said, ‘Uncle Clyde wonders why James likes Skylar so much. He didn’t think she’d be his type.’

  Morey grunted. ‘I didn’t think James was picky enough to have a type.’ He pointed his beak at Jago. ‘Don’t you get any wrong ideas from that man.’

  ‘What sort of ideas?’ the younger gryphon asked.

  I hid my smile behind my mug as Morey spluttered. ‘I’ll tell you when you’re old enough.’

  ‘Me,’ Clyde said. ‘Tell.’

  ‘Seems only fair,’ I agreed. ‘You do the boys, I’ll do the girls.’

  Morey glared at me. ‘Clyde isn’t either.’

  ‘Or he’s both. Anyway, he’s asked you, not me.’

  The phone started to ring. I washed down a mouthful of sandwich, and hurried to the study. ‘Penny White speaking.’

  ‘Reverend White? Please hold for the Right Honourable Sue Harkness.’

  ‘Oh, her,’ Morey said as he landed on my desk. ‘She’s quick.’

  ‘Penny, hello,’ Sue’s voice came down the line a moment later. ‘Good trip?’

  I found myself checking the room for cameras. ‘Yes, it was. How did you know I was back?’

  ‘Oh, we have a tracker app on your iPhone.’ There was a pause, which I did not fill with laughter, so Sue inserted a chuckle instead. ‘If you weren’t in, I would’ve tried again later. What did you find out?’

  ‘That they’re decent people who only want a chance to improve their lives,’ I said. ‘They don’t feel they can live in the type of country Lloegyr’s becoming, and they think England is the answer.’

  ‘Why can’t they live in Lloegyr?’

  ‘Seems they used to fly from one region to another when the races kept themselves separate. But now that so many are flocking to towns and cities, the colony finds this more difficult.’

  ‘In other words, the vampires used to be able to feed freely because their victims couldn’t easily fight them off. Now that the population is beginning to become more centralised, they can resist having their blood sucked.’

  I found myself floundering at the disdain in her voice. ‘The adults are on a solid diet, now.’

  ‘And do they obtain their food by fair means or foul?’

  ‘I saw a lot of them making things to trade. Ironwork, weaving, that sort of thing.’

  ‘So they want to come to our country, and expect us to provide them with food and shelter?’

  ‘That’s not how they put it,’ I said defensively. ‘They want to contribute as well.’

  ‘Oh, yes, a colony of undereducated vampires could do so much for our economy.’ Her sigh was long and exaggerated. ‘I wish Lloegyr had a real government, instead of this hotchpotch they’ve thrown together. I’ll have to talk to at least four representatives to even get something started about this. But, many thanks Penny, your report has filled in some gaps. This isn’t the only colony which appears to be making their way to Llanbedr, and I had some hopes that they might be planning to settle in the city. Are they heading towards the cathedral?’

  ‘Yes, to use the thin place there.’

  ‘There’s a crossing between the two cathedrals? That’s very useful to know. I thought they might only be seeking sanctuary. Thank you for that information.’

  I didn’t need Morey’s shake of the head to know that I’d spoken too quickly. ‘What will you do?’

  ‘I’ll be sending one of my team to talk to the local police. Thank you again, Penny. By the way, I’ve made some arrangements with your wedding reception venue.’ She cut off my attempts to demur. ‘It’s the least Her Majesty’s Government can do. If I don’t speak to you before then, I hope you have a wonderful day.’

  I put the phone back into its cradle and looked down at Morey. ‘I have a bad feeling about this.’

  ‘Work on it later,’ the gryphon advised. ‘You’re needed in the garden. The manticore is back, and the snail sharks look rather hungry.’

  I bit back a rude word. At least the rain had finally stopped. I stomped outside, Morey settling on one shoulder, and Jago landing on the other. Clyde slipped past, hurrying to join the snails lined up around the end of the garden.

>   The manticore slowly lifted his head as I planted myself a few feet away. ‘Philip, I thought we’d agreed that you’d stay in Lloegyr.’

  Seconds trickled by as he chewed. Long weed stalks straggled across his dark beard. Why, I wondered, did a human face on a horse make me feel ill, but on a massive lion with a scorpion’s tail it only seemed natural? Finally, he swallowed, then said, ‘Not sure. There good. Here good too.’

  ‘Over there is better,’ I said cheerfully. ‘Lots more room.’

  ‘No pesky fences to navigate,’ Morey added.

  ‘And more adventures!’ Jago said. ‘Lots more adventures!’

  Philip stared at the small gryphon. ‘Don’t like adventure. I think. Haven’t tried it. Don’t think I’d like it.’ He lowered his head and went back to grazing.

  ‘That’s the problem with porous boundaries,’ Morey said. ‘You can’t control what comes through.’

  ‘“Good fences make good neighbours”,’ I said.

  ‘“Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,”’ Morey replied. ‘But, in the absence of Robert Frost, this one wall we’ll have to mend ourselves.’

  ‘Once we have a manticore safely on the other side.’ I raised my voice. ‘Philip, we’d really like for you to go back to Lloegyr. Don't you miss the moors? And the gorse bushes?’

  The manticore nipped at a bush, then looked at me. ‘Nice rocks for itchy back.’

  ‘Much better than here,’ I agreed.

  ‘Snails there, they like me.’ He turned his shaggy head from side to side. ‘These snails, not so much.’

  Hunger was twisting green and brown through the snails’ bodies. My fear was that the snail sharks might like the manticore for all the wrong reasons. ‘Then let’s get you back to those other snails.’ And I obviously needed to fit in another trip to the poultry section of my local supermarket.

  Clyde grumbled, but he escorted Philip back through the thin place. At least this time, his return wasn’t marred by a fall into decaying manticore droppings.

  ‘I’m off to get your group some food,’ I told Clyde as I carried him back into the house. ‘But we need to close off the crossings. Goodness knows what else might wander through.’