Redeeming the Marquess

by Beers, Laura

  “I should have assumed.”

  “On a good note, people came up to congratulate Ellie on her pending nuptials.”

  “Is that so?” He leaned back in his chair. “How did Ellie handle that?”

  “She responded to each person graciously, just as I knew she would.”

  “That pleases me.”

  “The ton might not act so favorably to her when she calls off the wedding,” his mother said with a pointed look.

  “I know, and I already told you that I would marry her.”

  “But, do you want to marry Ellie?”

  Roswell shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing,” he replied. “After all, it would be a marriage based on friendship, and there is attraction on my part.”

  “Is that what you seek? Friendship?”

  “It is more than I deserve from Ellie.”

  Harriet sat on the chair in front of the desk. “Why do you say that?”

  “I’m afraid I cannot tell you, Mother.”

  Her face softened. “Do you want to know what I think on the matter?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “No,” she replied. “You do not.”

  “Then proceed,” he said with a wave of his hand.

  “I fear that you don’t believe you are worthy of being loved,” she remarked, “which concerns me greatly.”

  “It matters not.”

  “But it does,” she pressed. “A marriage should be built on friendship, but there can be so much more joy in the union if you would but trust yourself to be vulnerable.”

  Roswell frowned. “You don’t know what you are asking of me.”

  “I know about your late-night meetings with Ellie in the library, dear,” his mother said. “You have not been as discreet as you thought.”

  “Nothing untoward occurred,” he rushed to assure her.

  “I know, but you may want to keep your voices down in the hall,” she teased.

  Roswell nodded. “Understood.”

  His mother smiled. “It pleases me what you are doing for Ellie, but it is time for you to recognize that this marriage is for you, as well.”

  “In what way?”

  “These past few years, you have been cantankerous and insufferable,” his mother replied. “You are not the man you are supposed to be.”

  “I’m sorry that you feel that way,” Roswell grumbled.

  “But it all changed when Ellie arrived,” his mother said. “Even though you fought hard to deny it, you changed for the better. In fact, your whole persona changed.”

  “In what way?”

  “You started smiling again, and I even heard you talking about hope and whatnot with Ellie,” his mother explained.

  “I am not disagreeing with what you are saying, but you must remember that this engagement is not real.”

  “Then make it real.”

  “How?”

  “Convince Ellie to marry you.”

  Roswell ran his hand through his hair. “I’m afraid that is an impossible feat,” he said. “You saw her reaction when I said I would marry her if her reputation suffered as a result of our ruse.”

  “You were rather a boor about that.”

  “What would you have me do, Mother?” he asked. “Run to her and tell her that I can’t live without her?”

  His mother gave him an amused look. “I wouldn’t lead with that, but you could definitely work that into the proposal.”

  “I won’t do it.”

  His mother stared at him for a long moment. “Fine,” she said, putting her hands up. “Forget I said anything.”

  “Truly?”

  “It is your life, and I will respect your decision,” she replied, rising.

  He eyed her with apprehension. “What game are you playing?”

  His mother smiled. “I do not wish to intrude, but I did ask Ellie to wait for you in the garden.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “I thought this conversation might go very differently, so I thought it would be best to be prepared.”

  Roswell pursed his lips together. “You planned this whole thing.”

  “You don’t want to keep Ellie waiting, do you?” she tossed out as she walked towards the door.

  “Blazes,” he muttered under his breath as he rose. His mother knew exactly what she was doing, and it was infuriating that she had been one move ahead of him this whole time.

  “You may want to mind your language around Ellie,” his mother warned as she departed from the room.

  Roswell left the study and headed towards the door that led to the gardens. A footman opened the door and followed him outside.

  He stepped onto the footpath and saw Ellie sitting on the bench near a small pool. His boots crunched on the gravel as he approached her, alerting her to his presence.

  Ellie turned towards him, and a shy smile played on her lips. “Did you wish to speak to me, or was it just a ploy to get us together?”

  “I’m afraid my mother tricked us both.”

  “At least I am in good company.”

  He sat next to her on the iron bench, their shoulders brushing up against one another. “How did you enjoy shopping with my mother and sister?”

  “It was quite eventful,” Ellie shared, her smile intact. “I was informed that my fiancé punched Lord Worthington in the middle of Old Palace Yard.”

  “This is true,” he replied.

  She nudged him with her shoulder. “I hope you hit him really, really hard.”

  “I did.”

  “That pleases me,” she responded, her smile broadening into a grin. “Did you knock some sense into him?”

  “I doubt it, but it is a pleasant thought.”

  She glanced over at him. “Thank you for standing up for me.”

  “That is the job of any good fiancé.”

  “But we both know that you are not truly my fiancé.”

  Roswell reached over and encompassed her hand. “That doesn’t mean I would let anyone make disparaging comments about you,” he said. “You must know that.”

  Ellie turned her attention towards their entwined hands. “I am grateful for all that you have done for me.”

  “You don’t have to keep thanking me.”

  “But I feel as if I must.”

  “I am not doing these things so you can become indebted to me,” he said, his voice low. “I’m doing these things because I care about you.”

  “As a friend,” she rushed to add.

  “Yes, because I’m afraid that is all I can give you right now.”

  She met his gaze, her green eyes holding him transfixed. “But what if I want more from you?”

  “You don’t know what you are asking of me,” he replied as he drew closer to her. “I am not the man you think I am.”

  “I can’t imagine that to be true,” she murmured.

  He sighed and leaned back. “I have done something terrible, and I fear you will judge me harshly after I tell you the truth of it all.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because,” he hesitated, “I killed a man.”

  The moment the words left Lord Bideford’s mouth, Ellie knew there was more to the story than what he had just said. He stared at her with such anguish in his eyes.

  “Perhaps you should start from the beginning,” she encouraged.

  He released her hand and rose, walking a short distance away. “It is a night I have tried to forget, but I’m afraid it is imprinted on my very soul.”

  She remained silent, not wanting to rush him.

  Lord Bideford turned back to face her with a pained look. “It was a little over three years ago,” he started, “and I was residing at our country estate. I had gone into the village to drink at the pub with a few friends, and I’m afraid to admit that I drank much more than I had intended.”

  He hung his head as he continued. “As I stumbled home, I heard a woman’s cry for help, coming from inside a barn just off the main
road,” he said. “I ran inside to assist her and found a man forcing himself on her.”

  “How awful,” she murmured.

  Lord Bideford’s jaw clenched. “I felt rage building up inside of me, and I ran towards them. I grabbed the man by the shoulders and dragged him off her.” He paused. “A fight ensued, and I rammed my shoulder into his stomach, and he fell backwards.”

  He grew silent and looked away for a long moment. Finally, he spoke, but his words were filled with anguish. “When the man fell, he hit the back of his head on an anvil stored in the barn. He died instantly.”

  Ellie let out a gasp as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth.

  Lord Bideford’s shoulders slumped, and he looked bogged down by the weight of his confession. “The magistrate sided in my favor, and even praised me for being a hero,” he said, “but I wasn’t a hero to that man’s family.”

  “Does your family know?”

  “Charles does, as did my father,” he replied. “I am unsure if my mother and Emma have ever discovered the truth, since I paid off both families to keep it quiet.”

  “I see.”

  Lord Bideford’s eyes were moist. “I keep replaying that night over and over again, wondering what I could have done differently. How I could have prevented that man’s death.”

  “And what have you come up with?”

  “I’ve come up with nothing,” he said, his voice rising.

  Ellie rose from the bench and stepped closer to him. “Could that be because you did nothing wrong?”

  “But I did,” he insisted. “I killed that man.”

  “He left you little choice,” she said. “He could have run off, but instead, he stayed and fought with you.”

  “I shouldn’t have gone into that barn.”

  Ellie placed a hand on the sleeve of his blue jacket. “If you hadn’t, just think what would have become of that poor woman.”

  “I know, but nothing seems to take away the gnawing guilt inside of me.”

  “I can’t even imagine what you have gone through, but his death truly wasn’t your fault,” she asserted. “It was a terrible accident.”

  “That I caused.”

  “No, that man caused it by forcing himself on that woman,” she stated. “You just ended it.”

  Lord Bideford shook his head. “You are wrong. What I did was unforgivable.”

  “Passing by that barn and ignoring the woman’s screams would have been unforgivable,” she insisted. “You did nothing that needs forgiveness.”

  “I wish I could believe you.”

  Ellie took a step closer, tilting her head to look up at him. “You are exactly what I thought you were,” she said. “You are an honorable gentleman.”

  “How can you stand there and say that to me?” he asked, his brow furrowed. “After everything I just said to you?”

  “Was there more to the story that you left out?”

  “No.”

  “Then I stand by my statement,” she remarked. “The man’s death, albeit tragic, should not be on your conscience.” She lowered her voice to emphasize her words. “You are a hero to the woman that you saved. Just as you are my hero for saving me from Lord Worthington.”

  Lord Bideford stared at her as though gauging her sincerity. “Do you mean that?”

  “I do.”

  “How is that possible?”

  Ellie offered him a tender smile as she removed her hand from his sleeve. “I am sorry for what you were forced to endure, but it is time for you to forgive yourself and move on.”

  “I’m afraid it’s not that easy.”

  “It can be,” she said. “Sometimes the hardest thing to do is learning to forgive ourselves.”

  Lord Bideford’s eyes searched hers. “Do you honestly believe I can be redeemed for what I have done?”

  “I am still standing here, aren’t I?” she asked. “Besides, nothing heals the past like time can.”

  “But it has been three years, and I still remember those events as if they were last night.”

  “Then you must find something new to dwell on.”

  “Such as?”

  A playful smile came to her lips. “You could purchase a dog.”

  “A dog?” he asked in disbelief.

  “It will keep you company in bed, and no one can be sad with a dog around.”

  His lips twitched. “I am not so sure about that.”

  With a bob of her head, Ellie said, “No, it is a fact.”

  “Is it?” he asked, amusement in his voice.

  “Yes, I looked it up in the book of facts,” she joked.

  “I didn’t realize there was such a book.”

  “There is, so we should probably stop talking about it.”

  Lord Bideford leaned closer to her. “Can I see this book?”

  “I’m afraid it is impossible.”

  “Why is that?” he asked. “It isn’t invisible, is it?”

  “Of course not. What a ridiculous notion,” she replied, feigning outrage.

  A charming smile came to his lips. “I must contend that there is, in fact, no book of facts, and you are just making this up as you go along.”

  Ellie returned his smile. “What gave me away, my lord?”

  “Quite frankly, that was the most ridiculous conversation I have ever had,” he said, “and I loved every minute of it.”

  “I am pleased to hear that.”

  Lord Bideford leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for what you said,” he murmured, his warm breath on her cheek. “It has given me a lot to think on.”

  “I’m glad,” she responded, “because you deserve to be happy.”

  “As do you, Ellie.”

  It wasn’t the first time he had said her given name, but this was the first time that he said it in a way that was oddly intimate.

  He took a step back and offered his arm. “I believe it is time for us to dress for dinner.”

  Ellie placed her hand into the crook of his arm. “Thank you, my lord.”

  Glancing over at her, he said, “I don’t ever want to hear you say ‘my lord’ again. My name is Roswell, if you don’t mind.”

  “I would like that, Roswell.”

  He gave her an approving nod. “I like hearing my given name from your lips.”

  As she allowed him to escort her back inside the townhouse, Ellie was pleased that he had confided in her, and found that her respect for him had grown immensely. She had meant it when she’d called him her hero.

  In that moment, she realized that she loved this man.

  18

  With the sun streaming in her window, Ellie laid in bed as she thought about Roswell. He had claimed her heart, but would he ever return her affection? It was evident that he held her in some regard, or he would never have confided in her.

  How she had grown to care for this man! How could she not? Roswell trusted her enough to be vulnerable around her, revealing his greatest secret. She knew he was struggling with his past, and she loved him even more because of it.

  A knock came at the door, breaking her from her reverie.

  “Enter,” Ellie ordered.

  The door opened and Mary stepped in. “Good morning,” she greeted, closing the door behind her.

  “Good morning.”

  “I trust that you slept well.”

  “I did,” she replied.

  Mary reached into the pocket of her uniform. “A letter came for you this morning.”

  “Wonderful,” she said. “My mother must have written me.”

  Ellie sat up in bed and rested her back against the wall. Mary walked over and handed her the letter, which she eagerly unfolded.

  Meet me outside at noon or else your mother will suffer a horrible accident resulting in her death.

  Come alone and tell no one.

  Ellie gasped as she dropped the letter onto the bed. She had no doubt as to who wrote the letter—Lord Worthington.

  “Is everything all right, miss?�
�� Mary asked as she watched her with concern.

  “Yes,” Ellie quickly replied. “Thank you for asking.”

  “You look rather pale,” Mary commented.

  Ellie mustered up a smile. “I must put rouge on my cheeks, then.”

  Mary didn’t appear convinced, but fortunately, she let the matter drop. Instead, she walked over to the armoire. “Would you care to dress for the day?”

  “I would,” Ellie replied, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

  Mary retrieved a pale pink gown with a square neckline and held it up. “I thought this dress would look splendid on you today.”

  “I agree.”

  Her lady’s maid walked over to the settee and draped the dress along the back. “But first, let’s pin up your hair.”

  Ellie rose and walked over to the dressing table. She sat down, her mind reeling with the contents of that note. What was she going to do? She couldn’t very well meet with Lord Worthington alone; but if she didn’t, he would make good on his promise and kill her mother. She had known that Lord Worthington was disreputable, but she never thought he would stoop to such evil means to get what he wanted.

  She barely acknowledged Mary as she started brushing and pinning her hair back in an elaborate chignon.

  “I can’t help but notice that you seem rather preoccupied,” Mary remarked.

  “It is nothing to concern yourself with,” Ellie responded dismissively.

  Mary stepped over to the settee and picked up the dress. “Shall we dress you, then?”

  A short time later, Ellie left her bedchamber and headed for the breakfast parlor. She stepped into the room and was disappointed to see that Roswell hadn’t come down for breakfast yet.

  Thorne approached her. “Lord Bideford asked me to give this to you,” he said, extending her a folded piece of paper.

  “Thank you,” she replied as she unfolded the note.

  Ellie,

  Regretfully, I will not be joining you for breakfast this morning, but I do hope my surprise will more than make up for it.

  Yours Truly,

  Roswell

  Ellie found herself smiling at the contents of the note, and she couldn’t help but wonder what Roswell was about. How could she not love a man who was as attentive as he was? Frankly, she wished that he was here right now. He would know what to do.