by Allie Adams
Kathryn moved in and immediately went for her phone. Spencer held his arm out to block her.
“Spencer! You bastard! Give me back my phone!”
“Sounds like she's pissed,” Becker pointed out.
Spencer tossed a glance her way. Those eyes, so icy blue, narrowed in on him. “You have no idea.”
“Should I call Rand if I need to reach her? Or will you actually let her carry on an entire conversation before you bully your way in?”
He cursed and closed his eyes. This was just getting better and better. “She's on vacation.”
Becker sighed, obviously irritated. “I don't have any idea who broke into her apartment if that's what you're so worried about.”
“Just being careful. If Rand needs to reach her, have him call her cell. We'll keep it with us.”
“Us?”
Spencer stole a glance at Kathryn, who seemed to be just as interested in that word as Becker. He riveted his gaze to her as determination settled into his very soul.
“I'm not leaving her side until this is over. All of it.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
Kat caught herself shoving her fingers through her hair. A nasty habit she picked up from the man sitting in the single chair by the rickety table instead of staying in the bathroom where he promised he would, staring at her with that unyielding gaze. “Why won't you tell me?”
“It's nothing.”
Another nothing. That would be seven nothings, four never minds, and six glares as answers.
Kat gave up. After grilling Spencer for nearly an hour on what he and Travis talked about she let out a frustrated huff. She did her best not to look at him, but her eyes betrayed her on several occasions. More than once Spencer caught her and she had to dart her gaze away.
Why was he doing this? She'd given him no reason to stay with her, not after the way she'd treated him. And she'd given no signs that she planned to be nice any time soon. Yet he remained by her side and vowed to stay there.
If he did this to try to somehow redeem himself, he'd have to do more than stay. It was too late. Sure, she'd get over this broken heart much the same way she'd recovered from the last one. Hearts were resilient. No matter how many times he'd broken hers, it always came back for more.
“Fool,” she mumbled, belittling herself.
“What was that?”
Kat looked at him, then lowered her eyes and shook her head to dismiss her comment. Other than the Bible in the bookstand, they had nothing to read. The TV didn't work. Neither did the heat. It was safe to say this motel classified as a dive. She braced herself for the appearance of cockroaches at any moment.
She didn't plan on getting much sleep tonight. Her nerves refused to settle. Having Spencer just sitting there in that chair, staring at her with those intense eyes, didn't help. It made her want to throw a pillow at him. But, since she used the only one as a cushion behind her, she decided against it.
Kat lifted the covers and peeked under to make sure there weren't any unwanted guests already occupying the bed. Not seeing any, she slipped under the thin blanket to warm up. Lowering her head, she stole a glance at him beneath her lashes.
He had his arms tightly crossed in front of him. He slouched down and cleared his throat before closing his eyes. Kat couldn't believe it. He was actually going to attempt to sleep in the chair.
“What happened to sleeping in the tub?”
He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her. Her body jolted in response to the way he captured her with his gaze. “Believe it or not, I think it's warmer out here.” He sighed deeply. “You can see your breath in the bathroom.”
“Well, the poor excuse for a blanket doesn't help much either.” She closed her eyes, but something mentally ate at her and she opened them again. Spencer still sat there, slouching a bit more. “Do you want half the bed?”
He took the invitation and made his way to the bed. She swallowed down the ball of nerves sending her heart into palpitations. The mattress dipped down as Spencer sat. She heard his boots hit the floor, then felt the bed even out. Without warning, he curled up behind her, spooning her and pulling her to him. She didn't protest.
“This doesn't mean anything,” she said in clarification.
“I know,” he answered, and said nothing else.
“I mean, I didn't feel right having you sit in that chair trying to sleep. We've slept next to each other lots of times.”
“Relax, Kathryn. I'm not going to attack you. Sleeping next to each other may actually save us from both slipping into hypothermia.”
She shivered, more from his nearness than the cold.
Spencer slid closer and pulled at the blankets. “Do I get any of these?”
Kat released the blankets she had bunched around her. He tugged and a wave of coolness washed over her body as the air touched her. Slowly, ever so carefully, she scooted closer until the heat from his thigh sank into her skin. It was enough to stop her teeth from chattering. She closed her eyes.
“I'm sorry,” he offered after he shut off the lamp. “I never meant to hurt you.”
She closed her eyes against his words. He'd said them so many times, but never had they resonated more than now with his tone, so thick with emotion and filled with regret. She knew the feeling.
And she believed him. Still, she couldn't bring herself to forgive him that easily. “But you did.”
“I know. I can't change that. But I will promise you. I'll find a way to make it up to you.”
She didn't doubt that for a minute. “I'm scared, Spence.”
He rubbed her arm before squeezing her shoulder. It felt so good just to have him touch her. “I know, baby. We'll get through this. We have to.”
Did he mean the death threat? Or everything combined? It didn't matter. For tonight, she just wanted to feel his arms around her. She needed his arms around her. Wiggling closer, she hoped she didn't have to say anything.
He picked up on her actions and turned her to face him. He brushed a large hand over her hair and rolled her even closer. She curled into him, fitting perfectly as always.
When she took a breath to point out that this, too, meant nothing, he stopped her with a single finger across her lips. “Sleep. We'll have time to fight tomorrow. For now, let's enjoy the silence.”
“Okay,” she whispered and snuggled against his chest. Despite everything they'd been through, that they were going through now, she mouthed I love you before drifting off.
Morning came swift. A content sigh escaped her lips as she stretched. Spencer's arms enveloped her, making her feel safer than she'd been in a while. Everything about her warmed and when she looked into his eyes, her world was whole again.
It took a few seconds for reality to settle into her conscious. And then she jumped so far out of the bed she landed a good three feet away. “Oh, God.”
He threw her a puzzled look and pushed onto his elbows. After he let out a loud yawn and groan, he groaned and slowly sat up, then swung around and slipped on his boots. He stood, stretching his arms high above his head. As he turned, she caught a slight glimmer in his eyes that wasn't there last night.
She dropped her gaze and tried to appear nonchalant as she said, “Thank you.”
“For?”
“For being here with me.”
“You're welcome. I don't like how thin you've gotten. We're going to get some food in you.”
“I'm not hungry.”
Taking a step toward her, he pinpointed his heated glare on her. “Even for some of my cooking?”
Her mouth immediately started to water. “I already told you that I wouldn't go back to your house with you.”
“Then the next hotel we get will have a kitchen.” His matter-of-fact tone annoyed her and engaged her silver tongue before she could stop it.
“I'm not playing house with you.”
His shoulders collapsed as he held her gaze. The hardened expression he'd been wearing faded, replaced by deep lines around his eyes. �
�Christ, woman. Do you think that's what this is?”
“I don't know what this is,” she snapped, tired of the constant bickering between them.
He narrowed a hard glare on her. Shaking his head, he then turned away. “Get your shoes on. Let's go.”
“Can I at least take a shower first?”
He rested his gaze on her face. It remained there for what seemed an eternity, taking in every inch of her. His features softened as he nodded.
“Thank you, my captor.” She spun on her heel to head for the bathroom. Before she could make it to the door he stood there blocking her way.
She expected him to yell. She prepared for him to give her some glare to burn her on the spot. What she didn't expect was the softness in his voice and the tenderness in his touch.
He brought a hand to her cheek and brushed his thumb under her eye as he gazed deep into hers. “I know you blame me for every bad thing that's happening to you right now and probably everything that's ever happened to you. If you can't forgive me, fine. But I really wish you would.”
He looked down, then brought his gaze to hers again. They were darker, stormy with emotion. “This is the last time I'm going to ask for your forgiveness. Just—” He stopped and covered her lips with his finger as she took a breath to protest. “Just think about it. Don't say anything right now because it will probably be something we'll both end up regretting.”
His sincerity amazed her. She'd never heard him speak like that before. Her body betrayed her as she warmed to him. Before her body could abandon all common sense, she scooted past him and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Her hands shook. How could he do this to her? Not only did he make it impossible to hate him, but excruciating to resist him.
* * * *
After two nights in that dive that shouldn't even classify as a one-star hotel, Kat broke down and begged Spencer to take her back to his house. When he grinned triumphantly, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd found the worst possible hotel just so she'd break.
She waited as he scanned his house. Her nerves flipped, both from the threat on her life that had forced her into hiding and the fact she was about to step foot back into this house for the first time since the Green search.
She sighed. Kat wished Spencer had never given her that receiver. At least then she could go on living her ignorant, blissful life. They'd still be together, she'd still have her beloved Xterra, and her life wouldn't be in danger. Well, technically, it would. She just wouldn't know about it.
“All clear,” he whispered. She jumped at the sound of his voice. The past few weeks really had her nerves raw.
She followed him inside. It still smelled the same. Oiled wood, distinctively male, and much better than what they'd been living in.
“You remember where everything is, don't you?” Spencer's voice startled her. This time he gave her a reassuring smile and ran a hand up and down her back. “Relax. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.”
She nodded, wishing to God she could believe him. She then followed him into one of the spare rooms and glanced around. She'd never been in this room for more than to change the sheets when they'd had a guest.
“Keep your door open.”
She dropped her bag on the bed and looked at him. “Why?”
“Just in case.” He curled a hand into a fist, then leaned up against the doorframe and slowly thumped the side of his fist against the wall.
When his dark gaze rested on her, she melted to the bed, her strength gone. His eyes were so somber and clouded with worry the lump in her throat expanded.
Fear clouded his gaze and shadowed his expression. If something scared the impervious Spencer Allen that much, she knew the danger had to be greater than she could have possibly imagined. It took a hell of a lot to get to him.
She closed her eyes, forcing out the terror that had been a constant companion since leaving her apartment. She couldn't let Spencer see her scared. He needed her to be strong. She owed it to him.
He sank onto the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. “I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”
“You keep saying that,” she pointed out, her voice muffled against his shoulder. “You can't promise something like that, Spence. You can't be with me twenty-four hours a day. You have a job. I don't know how you got away with not reporting in for this long.”
He drew in a quick breath. “Weber and I had an arrangement.”
“What sort of arrangement?”
“It's not important.” His voice, so somber, sank into her already exhausted senses. He brushed her hair out of her face before running his hands down her back. The touch felt so therapeutic she let out a soft whimper. “He knows I won't leave your side. As long as you're with me, Kathryn, you're safe.”
Physically, maybe. But emotionally, she treaded in dangerously deep waters. She'd vowed to hate him forever, to never trust him again. Yet here she was, trusting her life to him and allowing him to comfort her. And her heart betrayed her by expanding with such intense love it blinded her.
“Are you okay?”
“Under the circumstances,” she stated in a much steadier voice than she felt. “I'm okay.”
He held her gaze. She wanted to look away, but those captivating gray eyes always had the power to hold her at bay. “Are you?”
Kat tried to deny the pulsing knot that had formed in her stomach. When it rose to her throat, she swallowed tightly. His eyes bore into her, deeply imploring as he studied her. They were simply captivating with the way the light reflected in them.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he started off, his words barely audible.
She finally found her voice. “The right thing would have been to tell me.”
“I realize that now.”
A burning tear melted down her cheek. Her lower lip quivered as her breath hitched. Swallowing over and over, she tried to ward off the emotional breakdown she knew lingered just below the surface. She was so tired of crying.
“Don't cry, baby. Please. Tell me what I need to do to make this right.”
Her words crashed through her defenses before she could stop them. “I just want everything back to where we were. Can we do that?”
“I'm trying.”
A mix of emotions inundated her. Hurt. Hunger. Lust. He offered his hand and she took it.
Swinging around, her heart thundered when her gaze landed on his. It would be so easy to collapse on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms and not feel anything but sweet rapture. If only temporarily. She look at him. His gaze flicked to the bed and back to her.
And then his eyes darkened to almost black, reaffirming her belief that he needed this as much as she did. The touch of someone who cared, who knew how to comfort each other.
“Spence?”
“Kathryn.”
Heated desire replaced her nervous uncertainty. She just wanted to feel loved, wanted to forget this waking nightmare. She wanted his hands on her, pleasuring her, allowing her body to feel something other than absolute depression and fear.
Kat scooted toward him and pushed her bag to the floor. This wasn't a good idea. She knew it. He knew it. But her body had other ideas. Lifting a hand, she hesitated before resting it on his cheek.
He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. “As much as I'd love to ravish you until this nightmare passes, it won't solve anything.”
“I don't want you to love me.” Her voice wavered. She knew how pathetic she sounded begging like this, but she desperately wanted to temporarily escape. “Fuck me, Spencer. Take me away from all of this, if only for a little while.”
He searched her eyes for a painful eternity, clearly debating his decision. When she drew a hand down and squeezed the bulge between his legs, he sucked in a hissing breath.
“Fuck me. Don't love me.” She squeezed harder.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her wrists together. “It won't fix this.”
/> “But it will help me forget. Please, Spencer. Fuck my pain away.”
“Jesus,” he rasped. Leaning forward, he nipped at her neck with sharp teeth and then licked at the tender flesh to cool it down.
Her body jolted to life with fear and heated lust. He slammed her to him and smashed his mouth down on hers. This kiss, hungry and desperate, conveyed exactly how she felt. His tongue, hot and wet, plunged deep inside her mouth, invading her recesses, her senses.
There was nothing gentle about the kiss, and she didn't want there to be. She wanted it rough, wanted it angry. Pulling her wrists out of his grasp, she then weaved her hands in his hair to hold his lips against hers.
With a sense of urgency, he unzipped her sweatshirt and threw it aside, then did the same with the shirt. Lowering himself down, he pushed one cup of her bra aside and exposed her rock hard nipples.
“Simply beautiful,” he growled right before taking it into his mouth. The scrape of his teeth against her sensitive flesh had her so wet the moisture soaked her panties. So hot. So moist. He sucked greedily on one while he kneaded the other.
She couldn't stand it. Reaching behind her, she unsnapped the bra and threw it across the room. Pulling him with her, she stretched out on the bed. He moved with her, switching his mouth to the other aching nipple in mid-descent. Delivering little nibbles across her chest as he unfastened her jeans, he then pushed them down her hips.
“Sweetheart?” He lifted his head and peered at her, his eyes even darker as they filled with hunger and urgent need. His need clearly betrayed his final attempt to stop this as he slid a knee between hers and parted her to him.
As her answer to his unasked question, she stroked his hardened cock through his jeans, petting him like she would a snake about to strike. “I want to feel you inside me.”
“Holy Christ,” he rasped and raked his teeth across her bottom lip, sending delicious chills across her skin. She got him started by unbuttoning his pants with her other hand, never slowing her stroking him through the material.