Lane One: Seduction

by Justine Elvira

  She's quiet and I know she's waiting for me to say something, but I'm stunned silent by her revelations. She had a rough childhood. Here I am, hating everything about my parents and my life, when I was handed everything to me with a silver spoon. My parents may be assholes, but at least I had endless resources handed to me.

  "Did you go back to the convent?" It's the only question I can mange to think of as I'm still trying to process all that she's told me. Cassie was almost raped. No wonder she has body image issues.

  "No. They'd just make sure I was assigned to another foster home and I was never going back to live with another set of strangers again. I lived on the street for a while. I met another girl named Lucy who was around my age. We'd work odd jobs during the day, just so we'd have enough to feed ourselves for the week. Then at night we'd break into one of the local churches in whatever town we were in and spend the night. Ever since my upbringing with the nuns and convent, the church has been a part of me. It was the only place I ever felt completely safe."

  "Where's Lucy now?" I've never heard Cassie talk about her before tonight.

  "I don't know. One day she ran into an old friend of hers. She left me at the church that evening to go meet up with him and she never returned. I looked for her every day. Weeks went by, but it was like she just disappeared. As hard as it was, I had to start thinking about my future. I couldn't keep wasting my days looking for her when she most likely left town willingly."

  She's playing with the hem of her shirt again and I'm beginning to realize this is another nervous habit of hers. "She was my only friend, Theo, and she just left me. She didn't even say goodbye. It's hard to think highly of myself when everyone in my life finds it so easy to leave me."

  "Cassie," I whisper, reaching out to comfort her by touching her knee. "Please don't think like that. You were handed some shitty cards in life but that doesn't mean you weren't wanted. It just means the people put in your path were undeserving of someone like you."

  "You don't get it. You can't possibly comprehend what my life was like and I'm glad you don't have to, but I'm envious of your innocence to it. You grew up with both parents, money and entitlement. You have no idea what it's like to feel unwanted."

  I laugh, releasing her knee and stand up from the sofa. Her words hit a vulnerable spot somewhere inside me. What she's describing is exactly what I felt.

  "I may have grown up with both parents, money and entitlement, but that doesn't mean I was wanted. My nanny and housekeepers raised me before my parents finally sent me to boarding school where I met Chris. They didn't have time for me, they still don't. The only reason I see them on Sundays is so that I can spend some time with my ailing grandmother, otherwise I wouldn't subject myself to the verbal abuse from my father every week and the indifference from my mother."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't realize." She's so soft spoken and I instantly regret throwing all my bullshit at her. She was in the middle of opening herself up to me. I could have spared her the details about my parents.

  "Don't be sorry, Cassie. I just need you to know that sometimes having parents in your life doesn't make it any better. It just means you're rejected every day in person, instead of just by their absence."

  I sit back down on the sofa so that I'm as close to Cassie as physically possible without being on top of her. "What happened after you stopped looking for Lucy?"

  She shrugs her shoulders. "I realized I needed to start thinking about my future. I didn't want to live on the street for the rest of my life so I settled down in a town called Bloomington. It's a couple hours south of Chicago. I worked in the kitchen of a diner during the day and stayed at a few of the local churches at night. When I turned eighteen I started a course at the local community college to get my GED. It took a while but I finally got it and then I started thinking about college.

  "That's when I came up here to Chicago. There were more opportunities for me here, but I soon realized that physically attending college every day would be close to impossible. I didn't have a car or money to afford public transportation every day. For the first few months I just worked odd jobs again and continued to stay in churches. Then I found Matt's uncle’s church.

  "At first it didn't feel any different than any of the other churches I'd stayed in, but a week after staying there I came in one evening and Matt was there. He caught me breaking in. He was upset, but eventually let me stay the night. The next night I snuck in and a blanket and pillow were laid out on the first pew. I was instantly on guard–nervous that another person was still in the church, but then I saw the post-it on the pillow. It said 'Something to make your sleep a little more comfortable'.

  "Matt had caught me, but instead of kicking me out he was inviting me stay at the church with that kind gesture. It was the first time I felt like anyone had looked out for me. A few weeks later Matt started visiting me in the mornings.

  "Matt isn’t a religious man but he adores his uncle and helps him however he can. I got to know Matt and we became friends. He's the one who set me up with courses through an online college. I didn't have a computer so I'd walk to the nearby library and use their computers and resources. I got to know the librarians and they helped me however they could. I have less than a year of schooling left and I'll have my bachelors. I still go to the library, but Chris and Molly frequently let me borrow their laptop."

  I'm on information overload. I love learning all these new things about her but I don't know what to take from all of it. I had no idea her life was anything like this. She always seems so happy when I see her, and working for Chris and Molly must have given her an endless amount of resources. So why does she still stay at the church?

  "Why do you still stay in the church if you have an apartment and a room at Chris's house?"

  "I... um... actually, I don’t have an apartment. I just tell Chris and Molly that so they allow me to leave at night. I'm so grateful for them and for giving me a place to stay, but sometimes comfort comes before a roof over my head and I feel the most at home inside a church."

  Huh. She feels the most at home in a place that I've always felt like breaking out of. The minute I step inside a church I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, like everyone inside is looking at me and judging me. Like they can see right through me to the greed, lust, and endless amount of women I've fucked.

  Cassie's determination to get an education is inspiring, especially when it was so easy for me to receive a great education.

  Something's bugging me though. Chris pays her well to be Alyssa's nanny. She doesn't have an apartment to pay for or utilities, and she sure as hell isn't making payments on that shitty car she used to drive, so where does all her money go? She’s not like most of the women I date and spending her money on designer fashion. I'd assume she was saving it if it wasn't for the fact that when her car broke down she told me she was broke. So what exactly does she do with her money?

  "I'm sorry if this is crossing the line, but Chris must pay you well, and you don't have an apartment to pay for, so where does your money go?"

  She stands up abruptly and looks around the room, probably trying to escape my intrusive question. I shouldn't have asked her that. It was too personal. I'm about to apologize when she surprises me by answering my question honestly."

  "I donate it. Some goes to the Catholic Church, some goes to the soup kitchen, and the rest goes to providing warm clothing to the homeless. I only keep enough money to survive. Where's your bathroom?" she asks, bouncing up and down like a child who waited too long and now can't hold it. It's surprisingly adorable to watch, but I'm not oblivious to the fact that she changed the subject, clearly uncomfortable talking about how charitable she is.

  I direct her to the washroom just outside my bedroom. When she closes the door I enter my dark room, forgoing turning the light on and just sit on my bed, absorbing all the details of her life that Cassie has freely told me tonight.

  I wasn't expecting anything that I heard. I had no idea she was homeless, or t
hat she donated almost all of her money, or even that she put herself through school. She's so much stronger than she gives herself credit for. She should be extremely proud of making it through all that she's endured in life and coming out on top. Her inner strength makes her that much more sexy.

  As I'm running through all the details in my head there's another thing that’s bugging me. Her mother was a druggie that was willing to give her up, but where is her father? Does Cassie know? Has she ever tried to look for him? Isn’t there a possibility that the man who shares her DNA has no idea he has a little girl out there? Or maybe he was a fucked-up druggie just like Cassie's mom and Cassie's better off not knowing who he is.

  I wonder if his name is on her birth certificate? I could have one of my guys look into it and see what he comes up with. Cassie wouldn't even have to know.

  "Theo!" Cassie calls out from the hallway. I stand up from the bed and walk over to the wall, flicking on the bedroom light.

  "I'm in here," I call back before sitting back down on my king size bed, the grey comforter bunching underneath my legs. She walks in and looks around the large room. I'm slightly embarrassed that there aren't any personal touches to the room or decorations. There are no photos on the neutral walls. It's just a bed, a chaise and double nightstands on each side of the bed. Oh, and let's not forget the mirror on the ceiling.

  Don't judge me. I'm a man and I like sex. I'm proud of that fact and the only thing better than fucking is being able to watch yourself reflected back at you.

  Cassie hesitates by the doorway before walking inside and sitting down next to me on the bed. Her hands are shaking and when I look up at her face I can see just how uncomfortable she is being in my room.

  "This is where I sleep. It's no wooden pew in a church, but I think it's comfortable," I tease, attempting to break the ice with some humor. She doesn't laugh but a hint of a smile pulls up at the corner of her mouth.

  "Have you ever slept on a pew? They can be very comfortable," she responds back. The visible tension in her body releases as I watch her shoulders fall.

  Cassie's on my bed and it's the only thing I can focus on.

  When she agreed to come to my place to talk, the last thing I expected was to have her on my bed. Sure, I've imagined her on my bed a hundred different times, in a hundred different ways, but she was always naked in those dreams. Now that she's actually on my bed with me, completely clothed, I don't know what to do.

  This should come naturally to me. I've had a different woman in here almost every night since I bought the place six years ago, but with Cassie I feel like an inexperienced teenager, unsure of my next move. If we were to actually have sex, I'd probably come too soon, too. That's how wound up she gets me.

  "Do you want to go back in the living room? We can put a movie on?" I have thousands of movies to choose from on my digital library, even movies that are still in the theater.

  Instead of answering me, Cassie scoots closer to me on the bed and places her hands on my chest. Her palms glide up my body and wrap around my neck as she leans in, closing her eyes as her lips brush against mine. Her forwardness stuns me because I'm usually the one initiating any physical contact between us.

  I kiss her back–my lips massaging hers as my hands reach out and grab her curvy waist. I slip my hands underneath her t-shirt and massage the smooth skin of her hips. Her lips continue moving against mine and the feeling is pure bliss. With each kiss I let my mouth linger a little longer on hers, my tongue licking her lips, silently begging for entrance.

  I pull her on top of me until she's straddling my hips on the bed. This is my favorite position to have her in. She should always sit like this when we're together.

  My cock hardens underneath her and when her core makes contact with me she parts her lips, whimpering erotically. I take full advantage and slip my tongue in her mouth. Cassie bites down gently and I groan as her teeth skim across my tongue.

  I can't help but imagine her doing the same thing with my cock in her mouth. I'd grab her hair, holding her in place as I fucked her mouth, her wet lips providing the right amount of suction as I came down her throat.

  Just thinking about it has my cock hardening more. I could cut through steal with this thing.

  Cassie starts to move her hips against me, simulating sex, as her tongue greets mine in a slow tango. My hands on her hips guide her against me, pushing her down against me as I thrust my hips forward, rubbing my length against her harder and harder.

  Her breathing quickens as she pants, "That feels so good, Theo."

  Her words encourage me to continue as I thrust faster against her. Her lips separate from mine and her head falls in the crook of my neck. Her breathing is labored against my skin as she moans and groans, trembling while grinding harder against me. She's searching for release and I'm more than willing to give it to her.

  My left hand moves up her torso, my fingers skimming her skin softly and leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. I reach her bra and let my hand slip underneath one of the cups. Her nipple is hard as I take it between my thumb and index finger, pulling then pinching.

  "Yes," she groans, her hips moving faster against my denim-covered cock. I could come right now in my pants.

  Like I said. I feel like a fucking teenager.

  A part of me wants to stop this, flip her over on her back, and then strip us both naked so we can finish this properly. The other part of me wants her to come just like this. We have all night to continue this naked.

  I palm her tit, squeezing her flesh before continuing to tease her nipple. My right hand abandons her waist, moving up her body to give her other breast some attention.

  That was all she needed. She licks my neck before biting down on my flesh as she screams out her release against my skin, thrusting against me as she comes. Her hips slow their movement and I bite my lip to distract my body from the release my dick so desperately needs.

  I don't want to come in my pants after dry humping like a couple fifteen-year-olds.

  Her breathing begins to even out as she lifts her head from the crook of my neck. Her eyes are glazed over and her face is flushed. She's looking down between us staring at where our hips meet.

  "That was..." She trails off, unable to decide on what to say to describe what just happened between us.

  "Incredible. Mind-blowing. So fucking good that we should try it again naked, Theo," I tease, ready for her to agree on any of the above options. She stills on my lap and then looks up at me with big smoldering eyes.

  "Um... incredible. Let's go with incredible," she replies, moving off my lap. Her knee makes contact with my cock and I groan with discomfort.

  My dick is always in pain around her.

  Cassie sits next to me, looking straight ahead at the wall in my bedroom. She's quiet as the room fills with an uncomfortable silence.

  How did we go from being so intimate one minute to practically strangers the next?

  I turn towards her on the bed and tuck a piece of her loose hair behind her ear. "You okay?"

  She turns her head and looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes I love. "Yeah, I'm great."

  "Spend the night with me," I murmur, laying my cards out on the table. I don't want her to leave, not after what we just experienced together. Watching her fall apart above me was such a turn on. The best aphrodisiac and I don't want this night to end.

  "Theo, I can't."

  "Why not? Neither of us has work tomorrow."

  "I'm…" She hesitates. I'm not sure what she wants to say and I don't think she knows either. "I'm not what you want."

  Is she crazy? She's exactly what I want. She's the only thing that I want.

  "Cassie, let's not do this again. You're beautiful," I whisper huskily, leaning in closer to her on the bed. "I want you. I've wanted you for so long now."

  "I'm a virgin, Theo," she blurts out, staring at me intently.

  Holy. Shit.

  Those are the last four words I would have
ever expected coming out of her mouth. I replay our time together the last couple weeks. We've shared a few moments overcome with passion, and every touch and kiss was incredible. She seemed experienced. Now she's telling me she's never had sex.

  A sexless life is unfathomable to me.

  "How old are you?"

  "What?" she asks, confused by my reaction to her news.

  "I just don't understand how you've never had sex."

  "I'm twenty-four."

  Twenty-four? Shit. I had been having sex for over a decade by the time I was twenty-four.

  "Dragging my hand through my dirty blond hair, I contemplate what to do. I can't have sex with her now. I have no desire to be any woman's first time, no matter how much I'm interested in her.

  But I want her. Even as I'm telling myself not to touch her, I can't help but imagine being the first one to slide into her tight pussy.

  "Why haven't you had sex yet? Why have you waited?"

  I'm suddenly wondering if she's one of those women waiting until marriage. I’m not sure how religious she is, but by what I know about her and her comfort with the church, she must be somewhat religious. Maybe she's waiting until there's a ring on her finger.

  Fuck. If that's the case I need to forget all the fantasies I've had about the two of us. I'm never getting married. A walk down the aisle just so I can be in an unhappy marriage doesn't interest me.

  "After what happened to me I didn't trust men. I've never been loved and I've definitely never trusted anyone enough to get that part of me, but there was always a part of me that feared a man would come along one day and just take it from me. So I ate my feelings and hid my body underneath baggy clothing. Food made me happy and it wasn't until I was twenty-two that I realized just how big I allowed myself to get."

  "So it's not for religious reasons. You're not, like, saving yourself, are you?"