Honor 05 - Honor Reclaimed

by Radclyffe

  Valerie, or Claire, as Cam had known her when they'd shared a clandestine relationship, also wore a dressing gown. Hers was black satin and gave her willowy form the glint of obsidian honed to a razor's edge. Cam felt the pull of a familiar ache deep in her groin, a visceral memory of talented hands and a torturous mouth, and she shrugged the unwanted response away with an impatient jerk of her shoulders.

  Valerie smiled, but while Diane's smile was always playfully seductive whenever she detected the slightest reaction from Cam, Valerie's was sad. "I guess we're all a little surprised."

  Cam looked questioningly from Diane to Valerie just as Diane cast an inquisitive glance at first Valerie, then Cam.

  "Valerie is marooned here for a few days until the cross-country flight situation gets straightened out," Diane said. "She's, ah, using the guest room."

  "Yes," Valerie added, her cultured voice completely composed. "Diane has been very gracious with her hospitality."

  "I was wondering if I could have a few minutes of your time," Cam said to Diane. "Alone, if you don't mind."

  "My, that sounds very officious." Diane's smile suddenly disappeared and she took a step forward, curling her fingers tightly around Cam's forearm. "Blair's all right, isn't she? I spoke with her on the phone earlier—"

  "She's fine," Cam said gently "She's still at the residence."

  "Oh, but I bet that she hates that."

  Cam grinned. "You could say that." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Valerie studying her intently. She wondered what it was Valerie hoped to see, because it was no secret that she and Blair were lovers. What else was she looking for? "I'm really sorry to barge in on your evening."

  "Believe it or not, we were on our way to bed even though it's only eleven." Diane sighed. "The last few days have just been... unbelievable. I'm drained."

  "I'm sorry. I can come back in the morning and we can talk then."

  "Where are you staying?"

  "I was planning on checking into one of the hotels."

  "What about your apartment?" Diane asked curiously.

  "No room service," Cam said, seeing no reason to point out that if someone was watching Blair's apartment, they would be watching hers as well. For the time being, she preferred to avoid anyone's scrutiny, friend or foe. She'd taken special precautions driving to Diane's after dropping off Savard to ensure that she hadn't been followed. No one knew she was in the city, and she preferred to keep it that way.

  "Then stay here, because there's nothing available in the city in the way of hotel space. Too many stranded travelers. The couch is comfortable enough, and I can promise you good coffee in the morning."

  Cam shook her head. "I've already disrupted your evening."

  "Don't be silly." Diane leaned up and kissed Cam chastely on the cheek. "Stay. And give Blair my love when you talk to her."

  "Thanks. I'll just grab my overnight bag from the car."

  Diane handed her a spare key that she retrieved from a glass bowl on a nearby secretary. "I'll see you in the morning."

  "Good enough," Cam said. When she met Valerie's eyes and saw the question in them, she returned her gaze evenly. "Good night, Valerie."

  "Sleep well, Cameron," Valerie murmured before turning away.

  When Cam returned to the apartment, she changed into a T-shirt and boxers and stretched out on the sofa. Then she speed-dialed a DC number.

  "This is Blair Powell."

  "Hey, baby," Cam said softly as she closed her eyes and imagined Blair's face. "I miss you."

  "You know, Commander, sometimes you say the most wonderful things."

  Chapter Nine

  Friday, September 14

  C am stood on the small balcony outside Diane's living room, watching the occasional headlights cut curving swaths through the trees of Central Park five hundred yards away. It was two a.m., and she couldn't sleep. When she'd said good night to Blair, she'd closed her eyes, hoping that the sound of Blair's voice would carry her into the night. Sometimes, just imagining Blair by her side was enough to settle her mind and dispel the lingering worries and concerns so that she could rest. That hadn't been the case tonight, despite the fact that the oversized sofa was comfortable, just as Diane had said, and that Diane had covered the broad surface with a fine-weave cotton sheet and left a down pillow for her. Behind closed eyes, Cam lay awake running the probabilities as to when and where the next strike might come.

  She had been trained to expect the unexpected and to respond to the unanticipated with a combination of skill and instinct, and her instincts had always been accurate. It had been her instinct that had saved Blair three days before, and her instincts now told her that the danger was still much closer than anyone suspected. What bothered her was that she could no longer clearly envision the enemy or predict their weapons. She wasn't certain whether she should expect another armed assault, or another kidnapping attempt, or a car bomb. Not knowing what shape or form the threat might take, she felt the urgent need to prepare for everything. Sleep was a luxury she could not afford, so she finally got up, pulled on her jeans, and walked barefoot outside in her T-shirt. The cool night air felt good on her face and neck.

  A few minutes later, the glass doors behind her slid quietly open, but she did not turn. When the distinctive scent of Monyette Paris drifted to her on the tail end of a breeze, she recognized who approached. Even so, the whiskey-warm voice sent a tremor down her spine. Her stomach tightened, and she closed both hands around the railing, the muscles in her forearms bunching with tension.

  "Couldn't sleep?" Valerie asked as she moved close to where Cam stood leaning against the heavy wrought-iron balustrade.

  "No." Glancing sideways, Cam took her in. Valerie would be naked beneath the black dressing gown, she knew, and Cam didn't need the moonlight to envision the swell of her breasts and the long sensuous curve of belly as it gave way to the smooth arc of hip. She'd run her hands over that body countless times and felt the sweet slide of passion-slicked skin on her own. The tangle of limbs, the swift rush of pleasure, and the cries of release—hers and Valerie's rising as one—were only a brief memory away. "You?"

  Valerie shook her head. "I fall asleep, and then I dream." She shrugged. "And then I'm awake." She moved as if to touch Cam's shoulder, and then stopped. "Do you mind the company?"

  Cam breathed in slowly, tasting the unbearably tantalizing mixture of perfume and desire. The last time she had stood on this balcony in the night, the woman beside her had been Blair, and she remembered the soul-deep longing and near-crippling hunger she'd had for Blair then. She looked at this woman—could feel the heat of Valerie's mouth on her body—and knew that she'd never wanted Valerie the way she wanted Blair. Wanted her then, wanted her now— would want her, always. The fist of arousal that had gripped her when Valerie first appeared released its stranglehold on her, and she was free. "No, I don't mind at all."

  "Diane doesn't know about us."

  "I know."

  "Is it going to be a problem if she finds out?"

  Cam shifted until she could watch Valerie's face. "A problem for whom?"

  Valerie smiled. "You always were so careful, Cameron. For you, for Blair."

  "Blair has known for a long time."

  "Oh, I know. I was looking into her face the exact moment she understood." A small smile skittered across Valerie's mouth, transforming the perfect symmetry of her face for an instant, making her seem less flawlessly beautiful and more vulnerable. "I could see her struggle with her anger, knowing that I had touched you. I watched her win that battle. She's quite a remarkable woman."

  "Yes."

  "And you love her." Valerie was watching Cam just as intently as Cam watched her.

  "With everything in me."

  "You would, of course." Valerie settled her fingertips lightly on the top of Cam's hand. "She knew.. .Blair.. .that I was in love with you, but she also knew on some instinctive level, even that first night, that you did not love me."

  "Valerie—"<
br />
  "No," Valerie said quickly, curving her fingers over the edge of Cam's hand now, "you don't need to explain anything, Cameron. I always knew what you felt and what you didn't. You were always very honest about that."

  "I'm sorry," Cam said, "for using you, nevertheless."

  "Using me?" Valerie laughed, a deep genuine laugh. "Oh, hardly. You have no reason to apologize for the pleasure that we shared. That was our agreement, and anything beyond that was my responsibility." She took her hand away and turned to face the park, her shoulder resting lightly against Cam's. "I really shouldn't be here."

  "Why are you?"

  "I don't know," Valerie said pensively, reaching up to tame a stray lock of blond hair that the wind had whipped into her face. She pushed it impatiently behind her ear, the movement inadvertently exposing the pale, slender column of her neck, as if beckoning a kiss. "I could have found somewhere else to stay, or hired a car and driven into the country for a week or so. But when everything happened—when the entire world suddenly tilted, the first thing I thought of was Diane. So I called her, even knowing that I shouldn't."

  "Why shouldn't you, Valerie?" Cam asked quietly. They'd had a liaison for almost a year, and for part of that time, Cam had been Blair's security chief. And during that time, there had been two attempts on Blair's life. Cam knew with absolute certainty that she had never divulged one single piece of information involving Blair or her security, but everyone in her life, everyone in Blair s life, was a suspect now as far she was concerned. And Valerie—Claire—remained a mystery on many levels.

  "Oh, so many reasons." Valerie shrugged and laughed again, this time a small, self-deprecating sound. "I could strike some platitude such as she deserves better, which is absolutely totally true, or I could mention that her friendship with Blair might be damaged—"

  "Blair will handle it."

  "Yes, I imagine she will. But I wonder if Diane will when she learns that Blair knew about my relationship with you and didn't tell her."

  "You can't ever know how anyone is going to react. You just have to go with what you feel."

  Valerie turned, leaning a hip against the railing, and regarded Cam seriously again. "Philosophy, Cameron?"

  "No, just lots of mistakes."

  "Diane and I aren't sleeping together."

  "Yet?"

  Valerie moved her head from side to side. "I don't know about that."

  "But you're here."

  "Yes." Valerie sighed. "And now so are you. I heard you get up and come outside. I lay there thinking about the last time we were together. You wanted to make love to me that night, and I didn't let you. I regret that."

  "Things have changed." Cam's voice was gentle, and she didn't move away when Valerie leaned toward her. There had been too much between them to turn her back.

  "Yes, but.. .sometimes it just takes one last time to put the past to rest." As she spoke, Valerie slid her hand under the bottom of Cam's T-shirt and pressed her palm to Cam's abdomen. She made a small sound of pleasure when Cam's muscles twitched at her touch, and she slowly smoothed her fingers lower, turning her hand to edge her fingertips under the waistband of Cam's jeans.

  Cam clamped her hand over Valerie's wrist through the T-shirt and stopped the caress. She'd gotten wet at the first touch. "There won't be another time."

  Valerie, her mouth close enough to Cam's to kiss, stared into Cam's eyes for a very long moment. "God, you always did have exquisite control."

  Cam grinned and withdrew Valerie's hand from beneath her shirt. She released her wrist, then let out a pent-up breath. "Sometimes looks can be deceiving."

  "Perhaps." Valerie edged away, putting space between them. "But your message is quite clear. I won't make another pass."

  "Thank you. Because you're a beautiful woman, and very desirable, and I happen to be completely in love with someone else."

  "I knew that well before you did, Cameron," Valerie said with a soft smile. "I just wasn't certain how you'd handle it, and never really had the chance to find out. Now I know."

  "What about Diane?"

  Valerie closed her eyes for a moment. "I wish I knew. It's been so long since I've had an uncomplicated feeling for a woman, I don't know if I can recognize one any longer."

  "I know what you mean."

  "I believe you do." Valerie traced her fingers along the edge of Cam's jaw and then turned toward the apartment. "Remember tonight, Cameron. Remember that in this moment, there was nothing between us but the truth."

  Cam watched Valerie open and close the glass doors and disappear into the darkness beyond. There was more to be said. Or perhaps confessed. Of that she was certain. As she turned back to the night, she wondered when she would find out what other secrets lay between them.

  *

  Valerie stepped carefully across the dark living room by the aid of memory and the slivers of moonlight that hinted at the shapes in her path.

  "We should talk," Diane said quietly, rising from her seat in the corner opposite the balcony. "I hadn't meant to spy, but I heard you get up. I was worried that you'd had a nightmare."

  "A nightmare?"

  "You do, you know. You cry out in your sleep. The first night," Diane said as she joined Valerie in the archway that led to the hallway and the bedrooms beyond, "I got up and opened your bedroom door. You were moaning and thrashing under the covers. I didn't know if I should wake you or not."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

  Diane shook her head. "You don't need to apologize."

  "But you didn't wake me."

  "No. I walked to the side of your bed, and then I realized that you were naked and I just looked at you. I looked at you and I wanted to touch you, and then I knew I needed to leave."

  "Diane," Valerie murmured, grazing her fingers down Diane's arm without thinking.

  "I saw you outside with Cam. I couldn't hear what you were saying, but I didn't need to." Diane gently withdrew her arm from Valerie's grasp. "Blair Powell is my best friend."

  "Blair knows," Valerie said quietly.

  "I need to, too."

  "Yes." Valerie sighed. "Let's go to your room."

  Valerie followed Diane down the hallway and into the master bedroom suite. She waited while Diane opened the drapes enough to provide illumination for them to see one another. Diane did not turn on a light, and Valerie was grateful—their pain would not be exposed in the harsh clarity of lamplight, but muted by the forgiving luminosity of the moon. She sank down on one end of the small love seat that faced the floor-to-ceiling windows in the sitting area and waited to speak until Diane joined her.

  "Cameron and I were...involved...for close to a year," Valerie said immediately, seeing no reason to pretend that the discussion was about anything else. "It's over now."

  "It didn't look like it was over." Diane's voice held no hint of censure, only an undertone of sadness. "Of course, you don't owe me any explanation."

  "I do." They were inches apart, and Valerie wanted to touch her, as if her flesh could somehow instill in the other woman a belief in the truth of her words. "I'm here, in your home, and I do owe you an explanation."

  "I wondered why you hadn't responded to my"—Diane laughed— "not-so-subtle hints that I was interested in you. I hadn't thought to ask if there was someone else. Foolish of me-"

  "That wasn't the reason that I didn't respond," Valerie said quietly. "And I wanted to."

  "Is it because of.. .Cam?"

  Diane stumbled over the words, and Valerie knew that it hurt her to say them. What surprised her was that it hurt her to hear Diane's pain. "I'm sorry. No. It was because I wanted..." She stopped, considered carefully what she was about to say. "I wanted to be sure you never regretted anything that happened between us, And I knew that could never happen until I told you about Cameron."

  "Were you going to?"

  Valerie hesitated. "I don't know. It's not just me involved."

  "You said that Blair knows. So I assume she knew the night of the gall
ery showing?"

  "Yes."

  "And you're still alive? Amazing."

  "Blair knows her lover."

  "Any woman can be tempted," Diane said bitterly. "Believe me, I know."

  "Tempted, yes—but anything more than that is not going to happen with Cameron Roberts."

  "But you want it to." Diane wrapped her arms around her body just below her breasts, as if to ward off a chill. The room was warm. "I could see from across the room how much you wanted her."

  "I did, yes." Valerie drew one leg up onto the sofa so that she could turn and look directly into Diane's face. "I did want her, out there just now. When we ended things, there was a part of me that hadn't said goodbye. I wanted to say goodbye tonight." She extended her arm along the sofa back until her fingertips almost touched Diane's shoulder. "Now I have."

  "Is it that easy?" Diane did not move away or lean into Valerie's touch.

  "I've just accepted what I've known for a long time. So in a way, yes, it was easy."

  "All right."

  Valerie stroked Diane's shoulder and then pulled her hand back. "There's something else that you should know. About when Cameron and I were together."

  "No, there isn't. Whatever it was or wasn't is none of my business." Diane caught Valerie's hand as she was about to move away. She clasped Valerie's fingers between her own and rubbed her thumb back and forth over Valerie's knuckles. "Why did you come here Tuesday night?"

  "To be with you. I don't know why, but I wanted to be with you now. I.. .needed to be with you."

  Diane nodded. "I'm glad."

  "There are other things I haven't told you," Valerie said quietly.

  "There always are."

  Chapter Ten

  T his is Cameron Roberts. I'd like to speak to the chief of staff, please."

  "It's 4:30 in the morning, ma'am," the polite male voice informed her. "I'll be happy to take a message."

  "You might want to check your priority list before you do that." Cam heard a rustle of papers. When the duty officer spoke again, he sounded as if he were standing at attention.

  "I'll put you right through, ma'am."

  "Thank you. Scramble it, please."