Lily at Lissadell

by Judi Curtin

  But it was too late for that. My hands were shaking as I tried to gather up bundles of clothes.

  ‘Miss Maeve, may I come in?’

  I didn’t wait for her to answer. I dropped the bundle of dresses and ran into the dressing room, where I hid behind a tall screen.

  ‘Yes, you may come in,’ said Maeve, and I heard the door opening.

  For a minute there was no other sound, then Mr Kilgallon spoke again.

  ‘I heard some strange noises. Is everything all right?’ He sounded more worried than angry, but that might change if he saw me all dressed up like a lady.

  ‘Everything’s perfectly fine, thank you,’ said Maeve. ‘I’ve been playing dressing up. My friend Stella is in London, and until my cousins come from England, I have no one my own age to play with.’

  ‘You poor little girl.’ I had to peep from behind the screen to make sure that it was still Mr Kilgallon. His voice sounded all soft and soppy, nothing like the way he usually spoke to the servants.

  ‘The days are very long and I get so lonely all on my own,’ said Maeve.

  I smiled. Maeve’s mother might have been an actress, but I couldn’t imagine that she was better than this girl.

  ‘Your room is rather untidy,’ said Mr Kilgallon. ‘I’ll send one of the maids up.’

  Now I had to cover my mouth to hide a sudden fit of giggling. What would he say if he knew that one of the maids was already there, all dressed up in velvet and lace?

  ‘No, thank you,’ said Maeve. ‘No need. I’ll have it tidy in no time – it will give me something to do.’

  ‘If you’re sure?’

  ‘I’m very sure. Thank you. Goodbye.’

  I heard the door closing, and I waited a minute before tiptoeing into the bedroom.

  ‘All’s clear,’ said Maeve. ‘Now give me a hand with this or I’ll be here all night.’

  Chapter Seventeen

  That night Nellie and I stayed up late, practising her reading. She was doing very well, and could already read quite a few words. I was tired, though. My eyes kept closing and once or twice I actually fell asleep, but I couldn’t say anything. Nellie was so enthusiastic, and I didn’t want to spoil it for her.

  In the morning I was exhausted. ‘I don’t know what’s got into you, girl,’ said Mrs Bailey, the second time she had to correct me for missing patches when I was polishing the big dining table. ‘You are normally so reliable, but this morning, I don’t know where your head is.’

  I knew where my head was. It was all mixed up with memories of my fun morning with Maeve, and my late night of teaching Nellie.

  In the afternoon, there was a big pile of mending to be done, so Nellie and I settled down with our sewing baskets. I had always liked sewing, and now that Nellie and I were friends, it was even nicer. We were chatting happily when Lady Mary came in.

  ‘Lily,’ she said. ‘I wonder if I could have a word?’

  ‘Yes, Lady Mary,’ I said, resting my sewing on my knee, and waiting for her to continue.

  ‘Not here,’ she said. ‘Please follow me.’

  As I stood up, I could feel my knees shaking. She must have heard about me wearing Countess Markievicz’s clothes. Was she taking me outside so she could fire me? If she let me go without a letter of recommendation, I’d never find another position. My family would go hungry without the extra money I was bringing in. Denis and Jimmy would have to leave school. The little ones …

  I looked at Nellie. She gave me a small smile, but I could see she was worried too.

  I followed Lady Mary along the corridor and up the big staircase. It felt like the longest walk of my life. Why couldn’t she just fire me and get it over with? Was this walk part of my punishment? We went along an upstairs corridor, and into the small room she used for writing letters. She walked to the window, and I couldn’t take it any more.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Lady Mary,’ I said. ‘I’m truly very sorry, and it won’t happen again.’

  She turned towards me and smiled. ‘What are you sorry for?’

  I put my head down. Was she teasing me?

  ‘Lily, have you done something wrong?’

  I’d only done what Maeve had told me to do, and maybe that was wrong, but if Lady Mary didn’t know about it …

  ‘I don’t think so – but since you brought me here I was afraid you were cross with me.’

  ‘Not at all,’ she said, turning back to the window. ‘I brought you here because one of these curtains is damaged, and as you are the best needleworker in the house, I thought perhaps you could mend it for me?’

  I was so relieved I felt like jumping up and down on the table, but that might not have turned out well, so I put my head down. ‘Of course, Lady Mary,’ I said. ‘I’ll get my things and start at once.’

  ‘Oh, and there’s something else I wanted to mention to you. Did you know that Lady Georgina set up a needlework school some years ago? It was for the women on the estate, so they could learn a skill, and earn some extra money.’

  ‘No, Lady Mary, I didn’t know that. It was nice of her.’

  She continued. ‘Maybe one day you’d like to––’

  ‘Show some of my needlework to the ladies in the school? Oh, Lady Mary, I would love to do that.’

  My mouth was running away with me, but Lady Mary was giving me a funny look, so I stopped talking.

  ‘I’m sorry if you misunderstood me, Lily,’ she said.

  ‘I was only joking,’ I said with a forced laugh.

  ‘I was going to suggest that one day you might like to chat with Lady Georgina about the school,’ she said. ‘You know – learn a little bit about its history. She likes to talk about it.’

  ‘That would be very interesting,’ I said. ‘Thank you, Lady Mary.’

  Now I felt foolish. I wasn’t a schoolgirl any more. No one wanted to praise me and say what I great girl I was. No one cared about my good work unless they were going to wear it or sleep on it.

  This was very awkward and embarrassing. I didn’t know what to say, and it looked as if Lady Mary was struggling too.

  Suddenly she smiled. ‘I have an idea,’ she said. ‘You know we have a home industries show in the riding school every summer?’

  ‘No.’ I didn’t like to say that I didn’t even know what a home industries show was, but maybe she guessed from the blank look on my face.

  ‘It’s a competition. People like yourself exhibit things.’

  ‘What kind of things?’

  ‘All kinds. They exhibit heads of cabbage, bunches of parsnips, pots of honey – that sort of thing.’

  I didn’t understand. ‘But where would I get cabbage and parsnips? And if I did get them, I wouldn’t be bringing them to a show, I’d be bringing them home to my mam for the dinner.’

  Lady Mary laughed. ‘That sounds very sensible to me. The vegetable categories are aimed at farmers – they are very competitive about that sort of thing, I believe. For you I was thinking of the sewing exhibits. There are competitions for the neatest embroidery and the best item of ladies clothing and the best child’s dress, and more besides. There are prizes too – three shillings for first prize in every section.’

  ‘Three shillings!’ I forgot about my embarrassment as I thought of all the lovely things I could buy with three shillings. Then I put my head down. I didn’t need another stupid dream that was never going to come true. How could my sewing be good enough for such a competition? Where would I get the fabric and the threads?

  But it was as if Lady Mary could read my mind. ‘Your sewing is the neatest I have ever seen, Lily,’ she said.

  ‘But…’

  ‘And in the cupboard under the attic stairs there are yards and yards of fabric that are never going to be used. Feel free to take whatever you wish. Actually, why don’t you come with me now and choose something for your first project?’

  I followed her along the corridor, and she opened a large cupboard I’d never noticed before. As Lady Mary had promised, the shel
ves were stacked high with fabric, all neatly folded.

  ‘Oh, my,’ I said, wondering what Mam would say if she could see so much fabric in one place.

  Lady Mary pulled out a piece of yellow cotton. ‘What do you think of that?’ she asked.

  ‘I … I don’t know what to think,’ I said, as I stroked it. ‘It’s so soft, and so beautiful.’

  ‘Then it’s yours. Perhaps you would like to make a child’s dress first?’

  ‘Of course, Lady Mary. Is it Miss Bridget you’re thinking of? Will I make a dress for her?’

  ‘That’s very sweet of you, but Bridget has more dresses than she has days to wear them. I believe you have little sisters?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Well, then. Why not make some dresses for them – as practice? The show isn’t until next August, so you have many months before you need something to submit.’

  ‘Oh, Lady Mary!’ I couldn’t say any more. Already I could picture little Winnie and Anne’s faces if I were to make them dresses from this fine fabric. They’d be the prettiest girls in the whole parish. I’d never actually made a whole dress before, but that was only a small detail. Mam could help me with the first one.

  ‘Thank you so very much,’ I whispered.

  ‘You are most welcome – and please, help yourself to anything else you need from this cupboard – no need to ask. I will be very happy to see it put to good use. Now I will leave you, as Sir Josslyn and I are going to Sligo shortly.’

  She had turned away when I remembered that I had something to say to her too.

  ‘Lady Mary,’ I said. ‘There’s one thing – about that Christmas present you generously said you would buy me.’

  ‘Yes? You wanted a doll, didn’t you? I haven’t got it yet, I’m afraid.’

  I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. If she’d already bought it, then it would have been rude of me not to accept, but now I knew I had to do the sensible thing. I spoke quickly, not giving myself a chance to back out.

  ‘It’s just that … I’ve changed my mind. A doll would have been very nice, but I realise now that what I really want is a pair of strong boots for the winter – if that’s all right with you.’

  She looked carefully at me. ‘Boots don’t seem like a very exciting present for a girl of your age – and you were so sure that you wanted a doll.’

  What could I say to that? Lady Mary was being nice, but she seemed a million miles away from me. Could she ever understand that poor girls like me were so different to her pampered darlings in the nursery? Didn’t she see that I’d been confused between what I wanted and what I needed?

  ‘I’m sure,’ I said. ‘Thank you very much.’

  ‘As you wish. Now hold out your foot so I can see what size it is.’

  I did as she asked. ‘You look about the same size as me,’ she said. ‘And that will help me when I’m shopping. I’ll buy you a nice pair of boots, I promise.’

  ‘Thank you, Lady Mary,’ I said, and I hurried away before she could see the tears in my eyes.

  * * *

  I was on my way downstairs after repairing the curtain when Maeve found me.

  ‘Hello, Lily,’ she said. ‘It’s painting time.’

  We went to her room, and I put my sewing basket on the floor in the corner.

  ‘Will I put on the blue dress again?’ I asked, too nervous to even consider trying anything else.

  ‘Actually I’ve changed my mind. I don’t feel much like painting today.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said, feeling disappointed as I walked towards the door. ‘I’d better go back downstairs. Mrs Bailey will––’

  ‘No. Wait.’

  ‘You’ve changed your mind again? That was quick.’

  ‘I haven’t changed my mind,’ she said, laughing. ‘Portrait painting isn’t for me. I can see that now. Maybe another time I will try landscapes, or I might paint one of the horses. But you don’t have to leave.’

  ‘I think perhaps I do, Maeve. I would dearly love to stay here all day chatting to you, but I’m not free like you are. I have work to do. If anyone discovers that you aren’t painting, then I have no reason to be here.’

  A sly smile came over her face. ‘But I might do some painting, if the mood takes me. I’ll set up the easel, and you can sit there in your usual place.’

  I smiled too as I saw what she was doing. ‘So, I’ll just stay in my uniform then?’

  ‘Yes. If I decide to paint, your uniform will do very well.’

  So Maeve set up the easel and paper, picked up a paintbrush she had no intention of using, and we chatted happily for a long time.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Next morning Nellie and I were tidying the drawing room as usual after breakfast. I was already tired after cleaning all the bedrooms and dressing rooms.

  ‘I could cry,’ I said, as I gathered up a bundle of newpapers. ‘Every single day we tidy this room a couple of times, and as soon as we’re finished, the family messes it up, and then we tidy it again – and again – and again. It seems like such a waste of time. If they kept the room tidy, you and I could have an extra twenty minutes in bed every morning.’

  ‘So you’d like if the family kept every place tidy?’ asked Nellie.

  ‘Yes, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘Maybe not. If they didn’t make a mess, we’d have no jobs. That might not be so bad for you, but if I had to go back to the …’

  She didn’t finish the sentence. I looked up and saw that there were tears in her eyes. Suddenly I understood something for the first time – Nellie was still terrified of being sent back to the workhouse. The fear was like a huge black cloud following her around. I was only working at Lissadell because Mam needed the money, but for Nellie, it was all she ever wanted, and she was afraid of losing it. I suppose everyone’s dream is different.

  ‘Oh, Nellie,’ I said as I gave her a quick hug. ‘You don’t have to worry about going back to … to that place. You’re the best and most loyal worker in all of Lissadell. Even if anything happened that you had to leave – but I know it won’t – you’d find another position in no time.’

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘I know so. I understand that you’ve had a terrible time, but that’s over – forever. You’ve come so far, and who knows what wonderful things lie ahead for you?’

  Suddenly Nellie gave a big smile, and I felt proud that I’d been able to cheer her up so easily.

  ‘Dog!’ she said.

  ‘Where?’ I asked, looking around. Had one of Sir Josslyn’s dogs been in here all the time? If it was a hairy one that would mean extra work for Nellie and me. Then I realised she was looking at a newspaper I was carrying.

  ‘Let me see,’ she said, taking it from my hand. She lay the newspaper on the table, and pointed proudly at the word ‘dog’ in an advertisement.

  ‘Look,’ she said. ‘I read the word by myself. I’m reading the newspaper.’

  ‘So you are,’ I said.

  The she was sad again. ‘But it’s only one word. I bet you could read the whole paper from front to back.’

  ‘Maybe,’ I said, not wanting to boast that I’d been able to read the Master’s newspaper since I was eight years old. ‘And anyway, soon you’ll be able to do the same. Here, I’ll help you with this line. Read after me: Good hunting dog wanted.’

  Nellie was just starting to say the words when the door flew open. I quickly folded the newspaper, and the two of us stood there, looking guilty. Luckily it was only Maeve.

  ‘There you are at last, Lily,’ she said. ‘I’m very bored today so I’ve come up with a plan. I thought the two of us could go to the beach.’

  A day at the beach sounded very nice, except for a few problems. I was supposed to be working, and also it was December!

  ‘I know it’s December,’ said Maeve, as if she could read my mind. ‘But it’s a lovely day and I’m fed up of being inside. I understand that you have work to do, but I’ve already spoken to Mrs Bailey and she says you may be exc
used. I need you to help me find a nice location for my first painting of the sea.’

  I was getting to know how Maeve’s mind worked, and I was fairly sure she had no intention of even thinking about painting, she just wanted someone to spend time with. Once again I felt sorry for her. Even when she was with her granny and the rest of her family, there was something lonely about her, as if she were a bit lost, and didn’t properly belong anywhere. Sometimes I wished that I could be rich like Maeve, but I wasn’t sure that I’d actually like to swap lives with her.

  ‘All right,’ I said. ‘Let’s go to the beach.’

  ‘Excellent. Have you been to Rosses Point before?’

  Once Daddy borrowed a pony and trap to take our family to Rosses Point. Winnie was only a little baby, so she slept the whole day long, but the rest of us had the time of our lives. We swam in the sea and played in the sand dunes, and we had no dinner, but Mam brought bread and cake and lemonade for us and we ate until we thought we were going to burst. Even though it was summer, we didn’t get home till dark, and Daddy had to carry the little ones to bed and in the morning Jimmy thought it had all been a dream. Daddy died a few months after that, so it was a happy memory and a sad one all at the same time.

  ‘Actually, yes I have been to Rosses Point, Maeve,’ I said. ‘But why are you asking me that?’

  ‘Because that’s where we’re going.’

  ‘But when you said we were going to the beach I thought you meant Lissadell Beach, the one at the end of the garden. Rosses Point is miles and miles away. Even if we start walking now …’

  ‘We’re not walking all the way there, silly – we’re going in the motor car. Now hurry up, Albert is bringing it round and I don’t want to keep him waiting.’

  I was so excited I wanted to jump up and down and scream. Me – in a motor car! This was the best thing that had ever happened to me. What would Denis and Jimmy say when they heard?