Dark Song

by Feehan, Christine

  “I want more. I do. But I want to go slow and know I can handle what we do. It was so frightening and exhilarating at the same time. I did not have any control at all. I could have done something wrong. I did not know what I was supposed to do, and I do not want to make a mistake. I thought I might study books, or perhaps take the information out of your mind?” The very last was a question delivered very timidly.

  He should have known she was worried about not pleasing him in some way. He bent his head and dropped a kiss on top of her thick silky hair. “Sex isn’t about control, sívamet. When I have my mouth between your legs, I want you to let yourself fly. To just feel. You do not have to think, only feel the sensations I am giving to you.”

  She tilted her head to look up at him, a small frown on her face. “You had control. When you were in my mouth, I felt you holding back.”

  He nodded, proud of her for daring to say what she had observed. “That is true, but only because I could hurt you. I could damage your throat if I go too deep. I could frighten you. You are new to these things and I want to be cautious until you know what to expect, what you like and do not like. I want you to enjoy everything you do to me when you are doing it, not fear it. As we grow used to one another, I will hold back less and less. It was difficult. Your mouth, the way you are, the things you do to me, make it difficult to keep control, but I want always to make certain that you are safe.”

  “I love to give you pleasure, Ferro.”

  He tightened his arm around her. “I know you do, Elisabeta. I love to give you pleasure as well. We are lifemates, so bringing pleasure to one another is a mutual need. I want to be the one to teach you these things, not have you learn from a book or an instruction manual. It gives me enormous pleasure to have you follow my instructions.”

  Just the thought made his cock hard, the blood running hot and pulsing with desire. He let her feel that response where his erection lay so tight against her body. All the while he continued to massage her scalp and nape, keeping that soothing pressure with his fingers, wanting her to realize he was proud of her for having the courage to discuss her fears and needs with him. He always wanted truth from her, just as he was willing to give it to her.

  “We have many risings to learn these things together, Elisabeta, and I am looking forward to every one of them. Just as you learned today that anticipation can make the end result so much better, if we do not rush, if we wait until you are fully ready, then when we do come together, the wait will have been worth it.”

  “I never want to disappoint you.” She pressed her face back to his chest, first kissing him with her soft lips and then touching the tip of her tongue to his skin, tasting him.

  Just the small sensation nearly drove him mad all over again. He wanted to bury his mouth between her legs, but she was still concerned— turning what he’d said over and over in her mind. He could scent her arousal as she did this, so he needed a distraction. He took a step toward the interior of the forest, her hand in his, signaling they were going to work on other things.

  “It would be impossible for you to disappoint me, piŋe sarnanak, most assuredly when it comes to matters of sex. When we return home after practicing flight, we can revisit this conversation. I have not had my fill of your delicious taste, but that is for later. I will let you think on that. Anticipation, after all, is good for you.”

  She squirmed. “I think you said that on purpose.”

  “Most assuredly I did. You made me wait.”

  She gave him a small, enigmatic smile that sent a heat wave rippling down his spine. Ferro brought her hand to his chest, right over his beating heart, as they walked deeper into the forest. He didn’t want her to think about how uncomfortable shoes felt on her feet, or how awkward walking might be. And he desperately needed a respite from all thoughts sexual.

  “You are truly magic, sívamet. You have wrapped me around your little finger. I assure you, that is very difficult to do. Before you, I made everyone I came into contact with uneasy. Now, I think they regard me as a cub instead of a wolf.”

  She flashed him a smile, a genuine one that lit her eyes. He felt the amusement in his mind as well. “I do not think that is quite true. Even I do not think of you that way. You can be quite intimidating when you choose.”

  He brought her hand up to his mouth, keeping his strides slower and even, an exact match for hers. Kissing her knuckles, he returned her hand to his chest. “Perhaps, but that is just to make certain you know I am in charge.”

  Elisabeta laughed. Aloud. The sound was melodious. Beautiful. He half expected to see birds flocking around them. She had a way of touching him inside with her lyrical notes. Stroking nerve endings so gently. He didn’t know how she did it, but she was always so in tune with him. He would have to be careful if he ever was hunting the vampire. He would become a danger to her if he was injured in any way.

  “I believe you will never have to worry that I will forget you are in charge, Ferro,” she assured him, her tone soft and loving.

  His heart turned over. She didn’t seem to mind in the least his dominant personality. “Piŋe sarnanak, do you have any ideas at all about how the others are getting this infection? The children? The older couple? Young Josef? And our ancients? I have thought of this endlessly and turned every possibility over and over in my mind. There does not seem to be a connection between them. Sandu has never been near the older couple. I asked him. Liv was infected but not Valentin, her lifemate, and he stays close when he can stand it.”

  Elisabeta, as was her way, didn’t answer immediately. They were close to the coolness of the deeper trees. Already, Ferro could hear the welcome of the creatures as they approached. He had managed to distract her from the unfamiliar weight of shoes on her feet and the awkwardness of walking. She hadn’t stumbled once. Now, instead of panicking when asked for her opinion, she was giving it thought, trying to fit pieces together as he had done.

  “There is a connection, Ferro,” she said, a small hesitation in her voice. “We just have not seen it yet. We will. We have to. I found it interesting that Danny and Amelia had extremely heavy burns in comparison to everyone else. I expected that the little ones would not have much, and they did not. Tariq had more than Sandu. Josef more than both of them. If we figure out the why of that, we will figure out how they are being infected.”

  His woman had been working on the puzzle as well, and she was quick and intelligent. Gary, he knew, was looking into the memories of each of those who had the burns, but none had been touched by a vampire. None had encountered a creature of any kind, psychic or otherwise, who might have infected them.

  “I do not like that you are the only one who can resolve the situation. It forces you to be called every time there is a problem. If it is one with one of the ancients, the potential for danger is enormous. It is dangerous enough even with the children. I know Charlotte and Tariq are fearful for Genevieve. They cannot protect her from them during the day. They will check the children to ensure they are free of this infection before they retire, in the hopes that if they are re-exposed, the burns will be far less and she will not be so much at risk.”

  “I presume she was checked as well.”

  “She was. There was not even the slightest scoring on her.”

  “Genevieve is very brave.”

  He stopped walking once they were on the edge of a small clearing. It was very small, surrounded by trees and bushes. A narrow stream ran off to their left, moving over rocks, winding through the trees, making its way through the groves of trees toward the lake. He kept her in the trees, conscious of her battle with open space.

  “No one is around, piŋe sarnanak. It is just the two of us. We are going to practice shifting. For me, you will always be my little songbird. Your voice is magical. You have music in every note. I hear you when I sing to you each rising. When I call to you to come to me, I know you. That part of me, the only part that is not hard and battle-worn, feels the melody in you. I thought teaching you
first to fly would give you a sense of freedom you have never known and that a bird would come the easiest. You have lived life in a cage, as some birds have done. I want to open that door for you. I also thought perhaps seeing through the eyes of a bird rather than the human eye, you would not have the same trouble looking at the world around you.”

  Once again he wrapped his arm around her waist and locked her to him while his other hand moved to the back of her head to soothingly run his palm down her braid. “There are no expectations, Elisabeta. If you find you cannot do this, we will try another rising.” He poured truth into his tone so she would hear he meant it.

  She leaned into him and daringly ran her palm from his belly to his chest. There was a hint of possession in her touch he doubted she knew was there. Already the threads between lifemates were adding to the building confidence she had in him.

  “I want to do this, Ferro, so much. I thought about it all the time when I was in that cage. I knew I had been taught, but when I tried to remember, I felt such pain. My head would explode and sometimes there would be blood everywhere and I would wake up in the cage with the vampire over me and I could see he was worried and angry with me. I wanted to disappear. Fly away. Fade away. But it never happened.”

  “Gary and I have taken down the barrier that he constructed to stop you from accessing your memories without pain, sívamet, but Sergey erased most of your memories, and what he couldn’t, he scarred over and distorted so you would not know truth from lie or be without fear. That was why you were so afraid of meeting your birth brother.”

  “He really took everything from me.”

  Her sorrow made him want to weep. Again, there were no tears on her face, but deep inside she wept for her lost relationship with her brother, especially after knowing he had spent centuries looking for her.

  “The vampire tried to take everything from you, Elisabeta, but his success is up to you. You can establish a relationship with Traian and his lifemate if you choose. Traian is not only willing, but he wants it. He will follow your lead. The vampire did not steal my soul from you in all the centuries he had you. Your trust in me is growing faster than even I thought possible. He cannot take our bond from us. You are intelligent and an asset to not only me but our people as well, and he cannot take that. I could go on and on, but we do not want to lose one more moment of the night to him, do we?”

  Elisabeta tilted her head up to him and his heart stuttered for just a moment at what he saw there. She looked at him with reverence, with a kind of worship he didn’t deserve. “No, minan hän sívamak, we do not. Please teach me to shift into a bird and learn to fly.”

  She’d called him her beloved. She had not done so before. Strong heart, yes, because he was her warrior, but this was different. So very different. It was the way she said it in their language. That tenderness in her voice. She couldn’t hide the way she felt about him or the love creeping into her heart for him. For the first time he had real hope that she might love him as he was and they would really find their way together so in the end, when she became strong and confident, she would choose him, choose to stay with him.

  “Just like when you open the earth above your head or you are dressing yourself, you must pay attention to detail. I will have an image in my head. I want you to take that image and study it from every angle. Put it in your head and make certain you see it all. You are good with details, Elisabeta, meticulous about them, but anyone, when they are eager to try something, can get overexcited. Take your time. Eventually, even shifting will become automatic to you, but this is the foundation and it must be solid.”

  Ferro waved his hand, covering the ground with a soft, furred mat, and sank down, drawing her with him. She faced him, closing her eyes, concentrating. He felt her moving in his mind, finding the small Western Screech Owl. The owls mated for life and almost always used tree cavities to nest in. During courtship, the male called to the female with a song, and when a lady accepted him, they sang back and forth in a duet, getting closer and closer until they found each other. Throughout the various seasons of the years, the male continued to sing to his chosen lady, as he intended to sing to Elisabeta.

  The Western Screech Owl was particularly fierce when it came to protecting its nest and young, as he was certain his Elisabeta would be in spite of the fact that she thought herself timid. He didn’t want her fighting vampires at his side. He would definitely forbid such a thing, but he wouldn’t want her to be so terrified that the creatures could easily kill her and their children should he be away. Knowing her, he doubted if that would be the case. She was beginning to see her power, and although her voice might bring peace, he knew he could teach her to use it as a weapon.

  “Look at the facial disk. Note every feather. The colors. Pale brownish gray. The lines are subtly dappled and darker in waves. The rim is very dark, not protruding much, with pale speckles along the edge. Because the eyebrows are slightly paler than the surrounding plumage, they do not show as well, but you cannot forget they are there. Take a good look at the eyes, Elisabeta. They are round, wide, bright yellow. You will be amazed at what they can see. The smallest rodent on the forest floor.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “You are not going to make this so real that I am going to have to eat a mouse, are you?” There was a hint of laughter in her voice.

  In spite of the fact that he was feeling a little anxiety over her first time at attempting to shift—it could be dangerous—he shared the moment of happiness with her. She’d had so few, and they were both learning.

  “You will have to learn to hunt, but fortunately, it isn’t unusual for owls to miss prey, so that looks natural.”

  “That’s a relief.”

  There was such vehemence in her voice, he found actual laughter rumbling in his chest. She joined him before they both sobered, and he went over the details of the Western Screech Owl with her several times, just to make certain she had all the features stored in her mind.

  12

  I’ll be the bright star, in the dark hour of night;

  When you’re feeling lost, I will be your light.

  Ferro was the most exacting taskmaster in the world. Elisabeta had successfully shifted into the female owl dozens of times, spread her wings, hopped around and shifted back without one mistake, only to be told to do it again.

  Is there a part where the owl actually uses her wings? She never would have dared to ask him had she been in human form. The little owl hopped more and more into the open, stretching her wings, getting used to the new shape, the feel and size of the bird.

  The male owl called to her with his song. He sounded mellow and calm, just the way Ferro always sounded. Elisabeta felt the female owl’s immediate response, the pull toward the male. She wasn’t in the least annoyed with the male. She wanted to be with him. She hopped closer, singing back to him.

  He spread his wings and took to the air, not high, just flying in a low circle along the ground, calling to the female to follow him. The female hopped several times, wings spread wide. Nothing happened.

  Let her fly, Elisabeta. Be the owl. Let her fly.

  Elisabeta turned what her lifemate said over and over in her mind. She was making the actual act of shifting and flying far too complicated. Ferro was telling her that in the form of the Western Screech Owl, she was the owl. She became the owl, and she had to be that female with all the instincts of the bird. She had to let go of Elisabeta just as she did when she entered another Carpathian who was in need in order to heal them.

  The male owl sang to her again. She loved that he called the female with song, just the way Ferro called to her every rising. Her lifemate had chosen well for her first shifting. She identified with her owl. The song resonated with her. She let it carry her closer to the male. The female fluttered her wings and sang back, calling out to her mate. She spread her wings and lifted into the air.

  Triumph nearly had her tumbling to the ground, but she steadied herself and followed the male in a low, sweeping
, very tight circle in the clearing, right next to the tree line. The owl flew in absolute silence, the wingbeats soft, steady and rapid. The strokes were fast at five beats per second. The wind ruffled the feathers, adding to the feeling of absolute freedom.

  Are you good? Do you want to go higher?

  Elisabeta had been concentrating on how it felt to fly. She let herself look at the world through the eyes of the owl. Her hearing was excellent, so much so that she heard the cry of a mouse at least half a mile away. But it was her vision that shocked her. Turning her head, she could see everything in the owl’s world so clearly. She expected to feel sick and disoriented, but she was the owl, that beautiful little female flying for the first time in a whole new world, experiencing true freedom.

  I am good. So good, Ferro, thank you for this.

  We are going to go just a few feet higher, circle once and go back down.

  His voice was very firm and held a hint of command she dared not disobey. She didn’t mind in the least. She knew he was determined that nothing go wrong this first time, and he wanted to assess her to make certain she was fine. She was. She knew she was and she would continue to be. She hoped he would allow her to practice more, but if he thought she was going too fast, she would be disappointed, but she would accept his decision.

  The male rose higher into the air, and she followed, rising several more feet off the ground so they were a good fifteen feet up. She took in the blades of grass, the beetles and cicadas, a small frog that sat on a rock a few feet from one of the trees. She was beginning to distinguish creatures now, prey the female owl would hunt. All too soon they had completed the circle and returned to the starting point. The male glided easily to the ground. Her landing wasn’t quite as smooth, but she managed not to tip over and fall on her beak.