Dark Song

by Feehan, Christine

  I am very sorry, Ferro. I have been alone for so long and had to be so careful of my thoughts that it is automatic for me to compartmentalize. I think of my mind like a beehive and place different thoughts in these little cells. I do not hide things from you on purpose. I would not do that. I turn to you when I know I cannot take any more.

  “I do not understand, Elisabeta. I have full access to your mind, yet I do not see these cells you have hidden. Why?” He was careful to keep a neutral tone. He wasn’t angry with her and didn’t want her to think that he was. This misunderstanding was on him. That didn’t negate the fact that he had to see these hidden compartments and always have access to them in case she was “bruised and battered” again.

  I had to keep Sergey from seeing into the places of my mind I didn’t want him to see. The same with any of his brothers or cousins, just in case one found out about me. I hid the tiny cells in the walls so they appeared perfectly normal, as if they were part of the structure of my mind. I had centuries to perfect the images and to keep them from ever being given away. Even the healer did not discover them when he repeatedly inspected my mind. There was a hint of satisfaction in her voice.

  “Elisabeta.” He swept his hand gently down the long, thick braid of her hair. “Just the fact that you deliberately kept this part of you safe from the healer meant you not only remembered these compartments hidden from anyone looking, but you wanted them to remain hidden. I understand you hiding them from Gary and even the other ancients. But your lifemate? From me? What is your reasoning?” He kept all reprimand from his voice. He feared he already knew the answer.

  She turned her head to look up at him over her shoulder, her dark eyes wide. There was overwhelming emotion in her eyes and his belly did a weird roll. His heart clenched hard in his chest. He was looking at love. Drowning in it. Swamped in it. He felt it surround him. She was both wonderful and terrifying to him. For a moment he was looking into her soul. She was so unbelievably compassionate she was beyond his comprehension. She’d been given to him. Somehow, the universe had entrusted her into his care.

  Her long lashes fluttered. She turned her head to stare back at the laughing, joyful men and women, at the children celebrating a hard-won victory she’d been such a big part of.

  “You didn’t want me to know.” He said it for her. “You pushed yourself as hard as you could until you were so uncomfortable you could barely take it, and you didn’t want me to know.”

  Elisabeta ducked her head. You hurt inside, Ferro. When you think you are not shielding me enough, you hurt inside. When you do shield me, you compare yourself to the vampire. There is no winning for you. I do not like it.

  “You cannot do that, piŋe sarnanak,” he reprimanded.

  I have every right to take care of you, Ferro. You are my lifemate.

  There was surprising strength in her voice. He had done that. He had given her that strength and confidence. He sighed. “Woman, you make no sense. The things I am concerned about, such as whether or not I am holding you back when I should push you to stand on your own—like tonight, among all the Carpathians who have come to celebrate with us— you stay silent about. But this, when I am adamant, you oppose me.”

  Not oppose, Ferro, she denied, her voice and mind soft. I will discuss that more with you, but tonight . . . I have given this much thought. Lorraine and Julija are both very powerful women in different ways. They express that power differently. Because they express it differently does not take away from either of them. The way I choose to express my power will not take away from what or who I am.

  “That is true, sívamet. You are an extremely powerful Carpathian.”

  I cannot be anything but who I am. My nature is not like either Julija’s or Lorraine’s, and although I admire both of them, I am fine with who I am, thanks to you. I will most likely be uncomfortable around many people and I accept that, again, thanks to you. The point I am making, Ferro, is crawling into your mind and hiding away is where I need to be sometimes. It is where I feel safest. You are not forcing me to go there. You are not holding me prisoner or keeping me dependent. I try to hold out because I think it is what you want for me and I even know it is good for me, but it is not always what I want.

  He shook his head, dropping his hand to her neck, beginning a slow massage, not really for her, but because he had to do something. Anything. She was killing him. She tried to hold out as long as she could, waiting until she felt bruised and battered, and then hiding that from him in the little compartments in her mind so he wouldn’t feel bad.

  “You are not going to do that anymore. We are making a new rule. You do not hide anything from me, even if you think it will upset me. Is that understood, piŋe sarnanak?”

  Yes, Ferro. She answered immediately, no hesitation, which meant she would obey him.

  He bent his head to brush a kiss along her earlobe. “You will allow me access to all parts of your mind. Every hidden little cubicle.”

  He felt her reluctance. How can I protect you?

  He bit her earlobe in sheer frustration. I protect you.

  Should it not go both ways?

  There was genuine confusion in her voice and that touched his heart. It was impossible not to want to sweep her into his arms and carry her off where he could be alone with her.

  “Yes, but not at the expense of your health. You are never to push yourself to the point of feeling bruised or battered or where you think you have to hide how it is affecting you from me. We need to be able to communicate, Elisabeta. I know that expressing your feelings is difficult at times for you, but it is necessary.”

  She was silent for a few moments and then she capitulated. Then yes, Ferro, I agree. I will make certain you know where all the various walls I put up with the little cells on them are so you have access to any information I accidentally store there.

  “Thank you, Elisabeta. Traian and Joie are making their way over to us. Are you good with that? I can get us out of here.”

  He felt her straighten. Again, she tilted her head back and gave him a smile meant only for him. It was genuine, lighting her eyes. “I can talk to them for a few minutes.”

  Her heart had begun to accelerate and he gently slid his hand down the length of her arm to her wrist, rubbing his thumb over her pounding pulse to remind her to match the steadier beat of his.

  “Traian, Joie,” he greeted. “I see you both remember how to dance.”

  “Barely,” Traian admitted. “It’s all Joie. She has to keep the steps in her mind and I just do what she tells me. She makes me look good.”

  Joie burst out laughing. “That’s not true. He’s a really good dancer. Very smooth. Tariq is good, too. Did you see him with Charlotte?”

  Ferro answered for them, sparing Elisabeta every chance he could, while she nodded and smiled, her fingers digging into his arm. “It was impossible not to notice. I think everyone watched them. I suppose that is why he owns a nightclub.”

  Traian flashed a little smile at his sister. “Who would have thought, Elisabeta, that a Carpathian would own a nightclub someday? If they had told us that when we were children . . .”

  “We would not have known what anyone was talking about,” she finished.

  Traian and Joie burst out laughing.

  Ferro tightened his arms around his lifemate. Just that small little effort was difficult for her, but he could feel her happiness. Elisabeta was glad she’d made the effort because her brother and Joie were extremely happy that she’d spoken to them, even joked with them.

  “Several of the ancients went out to the forest by the lake hunting Cornel and Dorin, but they were long gone,” Ferro informed them, to take pressure off his woman. “They cleaned up the traps and put the forest, meadow and lake to rights again so any campers or hikers would not get caught. There were creatures beneath the ground that had to be burned out, and those venomous guardians in the trees were difficult to fully purge, but without guidance from their creators, the brethren were able to d
estroy them.”

  Traian nodded. “Tariq feared it would be extremely difficult. He has said he wants that lair as well as the one beneath the city to be watched all the time. Josef is setting up remote cameras, but even that will not be enough. Tariq wants both lairs to be regularly patrolled.”

  “Will you be taking Josef back with you when you return to the Carpathian Mountains?” Ferro asked.

  “I have agreed to escort him once he has completely updated Tariq’s system and made certain there are no traces of the infection or any other virus the vampires might have planted.”

  “You allowed him to kill the vampire with you. He used himself as bait and then the two of you worked together to dispatch the creature,” Ferro said. He kept his tone strictly neutral. “The boy has clearly had some experience, but do you think it is a good idea for him to be facing vampires when he does not have the physical strength required? He obviously has the mental strength. And he follows instructions.”

  “I agree he shouldn’t be involved in battles,” Traian said. “Josef is . . .” He glanced at Joie, a little at a loss for words. “He never seems settled. He travels extensively. He lives for a short period of time with his adopted parents but he never stays long. He seems restless. They think of him as difficult. His best friend, Skyler, says he’s lonely and lost at times.”

  Ferro nodded. “I would agree with her. I would like him to stay here, even for a short while. The brethren would work with him on his skills. He could work with us on catching up with technology, minus the infection.”

  Traian narrowed his gaze suspiciously. “Is there something you know that I do not in regard to Josef?” He looked from Elisabeta to Ferro. “I like the kid and I feel responsible for him. If there’s a problem, I’d like to know about it.”

  Elisabeta took a breath. Her hand came up to her throat, her fingers stroking for a minute, as if she were coaxing words to come forth. “There are memories in him that are disturbing. Things that have made him think less of himself.”

  “There is no place in our world for jealousy.” Ferro gestured toward the children flying the dragons. The sounds of laughter drifted down from the sky, blending with music and the conversation of the adults. His gaze followed the rainbow dragon little Jennifer sat on with Josef’s arms tight around her, sparkles falling all around them. The little girl clung to him, laughing so hard she looked as if she might fall right off the back of the dragon. Josef didn’t look in the least uncomfortable with glitter adorning his hair as the child scattered more of it into the air.

  “That is so,” Traian agreed. He didn’t push Ferro to get on with it. He simply waited to see where the ancient was going with his observations.

  “When jealousy is continually displayed to the point that it undermines the confidence of a sibling or adopted sibling, it could be a potential problem later on. The Malinov brothers were very jealous of the Dubrinsky family. They were also jealous of the Dragonseeker lineage. Xavier was jealous of the Carpathian people’s longevity. Jealousy leads to darkness, Traian.”

  Ferro kept his eyes on Josef. The boy whispered in Jennifer’s ear and then the rainbow dragon swung its head around and dove over the brown dragon. The little girl giggled hysterically and tossed handfuls of glitter into the air over Danny and Andor. Danny laughed and pointed, covering Andor as best he could. Andor laughed with him and indicated they needed to try to get away because his twin was coming at them from the other direction and there was no doubt she had just as much glitter as Jennifer. The orange dragon was trailing sparkles like a rainbow.

  There was no jealousy there. The children played and laughed together. Another dragon, this one green, leapt into the air from the ground. There was a young girl of about twelve or thirteen, with a wild mane of hair, on its back, ducking under the trails of glitter to follow after Josef and Jennifer.

  Bella and Lourdes, now adept at flying their dragons in spite of their young ages, also rose, although seated behind them were Tomas and Lojos. Already both Carpathian hunters were doused in glitter. Neither seemed to mind as they rose into the air on the backs of the red and blue dragons. Emeline flew a golden dragon with brilliant emerald eyes, her daughter, Carisma, in her lap as they took to the sky with the other dragons. Dragomir flew protectively beside his wife and child in the form of a black dragon.

  Laughter, music and glitter swirled in the air along with the powerful sweep of dragon wings. It was such a different sight than Ferro had ever seen, and sharing it with Elisabeta was particularly enjoyable. He could feel her happiness spilling into his mind. I love this, Ferro.

  I do, too, Elisabeta. There are a few things to like about this modern century after all.

  I didn’t realize dragons were part of the modern century.

  He shared her laughter, although his face was an expressionless mask. His joy was for his woman alone.

  Traian sat for a long time in silence, watching the aerial show above them, as did many of the other adults. Joie held his hand, her head tipped back, but her gaze was on Ferro’s face, and then it shifted to Elisabeta.

  “Elisabeta, is Josef at risk? Has someone deliberately put him in harm’s way?” She asked the question very softly.

  Ferro felt his lifemate go very still inside. She shifted her entire being into him, allowing him to shield her.

  “That calls for a conclusion Elisabeta cannot possibly give you. Perhaps if you word your question another way, she will be able to answer you directly. Otherwise, you will have to be satisfied with my interpretation.”

  “Yes. Of course. Josef seems very lost to me. Have you discovered a reason for this, Elisabeta, when you were working to rid him of this infection? Did you come across information that might aid us in helping him gain self-esteem?”

  Elisabeta moistened her lips. She glanced uneasily up at Ferro.

  You do not have to answer, piŋe sarnanak. I can do it for you. She was very uncomfortable.

  This is invading Josef ’s privacy. He would not want these things exposed. He did not even say this to his best friends, Skyler or Paul.

  “She is reluctant to reveal anything she found in his mind that he has chosen not to tell anyone himself. She regards that as an invasion of privacy, which it is.”

  Joie nodded. “That is true. I would not want you to reveal anything in my mind, so I perfectly understand. I have to ask one more thing. Do you believe he is at risk because of what you found in his mind?”

  Elisabeta bit her lower lip and once more glanced up at Ferro. He takes chances. Too many, Ferro.

  “You already know the answer to that, Joie,” Ferro said gently, not putting pressure on his lifemate. “You and Traian would not be watching him so closely. Traian was not happy that he insisted on setting himself up as bait, yet he couldn’t deter him. You both are already worried about Josef.”

  “But we don’t know why he’s the way he is. No one knows with perhaps the exception of Elisabeta,” Joie said. “And you, Ferro.”

  “You cannot ask us to reveal his secrets when you would not want us to reveal yours,” Ferro said.

  Traian nodded his head. “He is right, Joie. As much as we would prefer to know, we have no right to invade his privacy. I do wish you could come to the Carpathian Mountains, even if it was for a little while, Elisabeta, and see home. You might not remember it, but it truly is beautiful. I want to show you all of our old haunts, the places you used to love to go.” He sent a quick smile to Ferro. “She loved the forest.”

  “She still does,” Ferro said.

  “I loved the memories you shared with me,” Elisabeta said. “I will treasure them, Traian, and take them out often and examine them.”

  Her brother smiled at her. “I’m grateful you’re alive and I could give you back some of home. Showing them to you in my mind isn’t the same as walking trails with you in the mountains or forest.”

  “I do love being in the forest,” Elisabeta admitted.

  “As far as Josef is concerned,” Traian co
ntinued, “it might be best to leave him here.”

  “Mikhail wanted him escorted home,” Joie pointed out.

  Traian sighed. “That is so, although leaving him gives us an excuse to return to see Elisabeta.”

  Elisabeta turned her head to look at her brother. “You never need an excuse to come to see me, Traian.”

  “Or perhaps Elisabeta and I will escort Josef back to the Carpathian Mountains,” Ferro said. “We can bring him to you. That would give her a chance to see these places you speak of, Traian.”

  I think it would be a good thing to go there, Ferro, Elisabeta said. I would love to see the Carpathian Mountains again, and perhaps even the monastery, but that is where the Malinov piece for the council is hidden. Cornel is aware of it, although he does not know exactly where it is located. He will try to recover it. I am uncertain exactly where it is, either, only that it is not here in the United States.

  When did you remember this bit of information? Ferro tried to keep the challenge out of his voice. Knowing where the Malinov membership piece was was huge. She should have told him immediately.

  Just now. When Traian talked about going home. I caught a flicker of it in Ruslan’s mind. I could not catch the exact place, but if I am there, it is possible I would be able to find it.

  “I would very much like to show Elisabeta the place she was born,” Traian said. “It would be a fair exchange to lend you Josef for a short while and then you bring him back to us. I can get word to Mikhail and ask him if this is permissible.”

  “I think that would be more than fair,” Ferro agreed, resting his chin on the top of Elisabeta’s head. “It will also give me a chance to meet the prince. Perhaps some of the brethren will travel with me as well so they can meet him, too.” He could make up his mind about swearing his allegiance. It seemed that many ancients believed in the prince.