Destructive Silence (The Destructive Series)

by L. U. Ann

  “This is our gate.” He breathes. “Let’s have a seat until they call our section.”

  “Oh, okay.” We sit down with our hands still together. I need to get some things off my chest before I lose the nerve. Like what are the sleeping arrangements or what have you told your parents about our relationship? For God’s sake, I didn’t want anything to do with him two weeks ago, and here I am sitting next to him, holding his hand. The touch of his calloused hand does something to me, making every second harder to keep him at arm’s length. “Caine, I...”

  “Lacey, please hear me out. I’ve missed you so much. I am excited to have you here with me.” He pulls our interlaced fingers to his mouth, kissing them. Oh God! I feel the threat of tears. After meeting him at the coffee shop and going over everything he said in my head, I began to believe he wants this: our relationship, and soon to be little family, to work. I smile faintly and take a deep breath. My internal thoughts are battling the mixture of feelings going through me. I want him more than ever right now, but he cheated and I need to remember that for the sake of my dignity. He is so damn sexy and willing to support his child and me. But can I forgive him? Is it possible to forgive and forget?

  Caine turns to look at me and must sense my uneasy thoughts. “I’m not going to press you into doing anything you don’t want, but I think you need to know that I want you. I will always want you, and now that you are carrying my child, it just seals the deal for me,” he says effortlessly. Fuck! I can only nod, because if I talk, my body will deceive me and I will act on impulse. And we all know where that got me before.

  Thankfully, I am able to take a nap for most of the flight since I haven’t been sleeping much with the anticipation of this trip and the stress over the past week. Flying has never appealed to me, so if I can sleep myself into oblivion, I jump at the chance. Caine nudges me and kisses my forehead, waking me from my beautiful dream where I was far away from all this drama. Oh my, that feels nice. What a great way to wake up. “Baby, we just landed,” he says in that deep voice of his. Shit, I’m in trouble. I look out the window and see that it’s raining. If the weather is any indication for the emotions going through me, we should be expecting severe thunderstorms. I am not looking forward to the reaction that Caine’s mother is going to have when she finds out I’m pregnant. We haven’t spoken much about what I should expect from his family, only that he wants to tell them our news together, tonight. This is not what I had in mind. What if they think I trapped him? What if they question whether I truly am pregnant? What if they hate me? Will they also hate my baby? Does my child need them? NO! He or she doesn’t. If they are not going to be supportive, then I don’t need them around my baby, or me.

  Once we get off the plane, he grabs my hand again, and leads us to the car rental booth. He’s renting a car so we won’t be dependent on anyone to get us around during our stay. I hope Caine’s tendency to get possessive is not resurfacing. I’m nervous how this trip is going to end if that’s the case. I can only handle one step at a time, and if I’m truthful with myself, he doesn’t have the option to be a caveman just yet. I’ve reconsidered this trip too many times to count. I’m here now, and I need to settle my nerves before I come face to face with his mom.

  “Lacey, are you okay?” Caine asks, bringing me back to reality. I nod, worried my voice will waiver if I speak. He smiles and turns back to the rental car agent who is handing him the keys. We find the car parked in the garage and I try to help with luggage, but Caine insists on loading the car. For heaven sakes, he isn’t going to let me do anything while I’m pregnant. Once he has everything packed in the trunk, he turns to me. His heated gaze takes me back to our underlying chemistry. Oh God! He steps forward, looking at me with dark eyes, and tilting his head as if attempting to read my thoughts. His mind is fondling mine, releasing the lustful feelings that I’ve missed the past two weeks. Caine lifts his hands to cup my cheeks and seeks my eyes for what resides behind them. He lowers his head to caress my lips with his. His lips are soft, and soothe an ache within me, and he pushes harder seeking entrance, and acceptance. Overcome by my emotions, I allow them to take over, and forget everything else. I’ve missed him so much and need this. His lips feel so good and oh my, he takes me deeper, pushing me against the car. His kiss turns urgent, with him rubbing his excitement into me. I cannot protest, with a need for him that is so bad, it hurts. I give him everything and don’t hold back. He has my body and soul. How could I deny him? I try to relay everything I’m feeling in this kiss.

  Caine pulls back and rests his forehead on mine. “Baby, I love you so much,” he says breathlessly.

  “I love you too.” Damn, I am full of hormones.

  “We better go before I do something I’ll regret,” he states, leaving me grieving the loss of his closeness. I need him so bad. Wait, what the hell just happened?

  We drive through the resort town of Panama City where his parents live. The rain has stopped, and now the humidity is determined to push its own boundaries. Thank heavens we are only visiting. I don’t know if I could stand staying any longer than necessary around his mom, even though I’m sure I could find some place to escape with all of these tourists littering the town. We are shacking up with his sister, Sam. She is getting married in the fall and her bridal shower is in two days. That happens to be the reason for our visit. Caine felt it was better if we stayed with his sister. I met her in December, but never made it to her apartment. She seemed nice, but I don’t know her very well. Sam is charging us eighty dollars to stay at her place. Hysterical! Who the hell charges family to stay with them?

  We’re pulling into his parent’s driveway and it doesn’t look as though much has changed since Christmas. Caine parks and we both get out at the same time. I meet him in front of the car. He grabs my hand and pulls it to his lips. I start to worry again about our sleeping arrangements tonight, as I’m holding onto the little restraint I have left with a thin thread. The sexual tension between us is almost unbearable. I just need to keep reminding myself that he cheated on me and maybe I will get through this with my dignity intact. Maybe.

  Caine’s mom comes barreling out the front door to hug her son. Nice, she completely disregards me. Once he pulls away from his mom’s hug, he turns to me, “Mom, you remember Lacey.”

  “Oh yes, I remember.” Excuse me? “Hello Lacey,” she replies dryly, barely making eye contact. Bitch!

  “Caine, come inside; you have a couple people waiting to see you. Did you eat dinner?” she asks him, completely ignoring me.

  “No, Lacey and I haven’t eaten dinner,” Caine tries to include me in the conversation. “We were thinking of getting a quick bite after we unload our stuff at Sam’s.” He tries to dismiss his mother’s lack of social skills.

  “Oh, okay. If that’s what you want,” she says. What he wants? As if lady! I can see she senses something not too pretty going on between Caine and me. It’s more than the pregnancy, I’m sure of it. I wonder if Caine can feel it too. This woman could be Cruella De Vil’s twin and partner in crime.

  “Mom, we were hoping we could talk to you and Richard before we head over to Sam’s. We’re both tired and would like to unwind,” he throws out.

  “Sure honey, but it wasn’t too long of a flight from Maryland. Why do you need to unwind?” she asks, taking a quick moment to look at me. Bitch!

  “I’ve been working a lot of hours this past week and I’m tired; not to mention, Lacey has a lot going on, too.”

  “Sure thing, honey. Let’s go inside and catch up.” She leads us into her home. I’m getting sick to my stomach, waiting for the other shoe to drop, because I know Caine’s mom is going to flip. I don’t think this stress is good for the baby, so maybe I can escape future torment using the baby as an excuse. Oh bad mommy, Lacey. I gasp at the word... Mommy. I haven’t even thought of myself becoming the word ‘mommy’. Oh my God!

  “Hey Caine,” his stepdad, Richard and brother, Edward, greet him with me right behind. “Hello
there Lacey, it’s great to see you again,” they say almost in unison. I blush, turning towards Caine, and catch his mom rolling her eyes. What the hell? “Sit, you two must be tired from the trip.” Richard smiles. He has always been nice to me, but I get the distinct feeling what you see is maybe not the truth. He is extremely religious and even wears a large cross and beads around his neck. I hope he practices what he preaches. I cannot stand people who claim to be all holy and don’t act accordingly. It pisses me off.

  “We’re good. We wanted to stop by and see you guys before we go to Sam’s tonight, and we kind of have some news to share,” Caine says, giving me heartburn.

  Julie raises her eyebrows. Ugh, I don’t like her. “What is it that you would like to share Caine?” she asks.

  Caine looks over at me and grabs my hand, squeezing it for reassurance. “Well, um. Lacey and I wanted to tell you that um, we’re um, pregnant.” He finally got the words out. The table goes silent.

  Julie, of course, disrupts the silence first. “Caine, are you sure it’s yours?” OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD... sorry God! I see red. What am I, a tramp? I never cheated on him. The nerve of her!

  “Mom!” Caine shouts. “Of course it’s mine. Lacey isn’t like that!” He pauses, gathering his thoughts. “I think you owe her an apology,” Caine insists. I sink further into my chair from the shock of her words. Julie’s eyes grow wide at her son’s temper turned towards her. Richard and Edward are silent, afraid to say anything. I can’t blame them because I don’t want to say anything either. Thank God, we aren’t staying here; I would be running to the airport if that were the case. I look down at my pretty sundress and play with the hem, waiting for this to be over.

  “Caine, do not raise your voice to me in my house, son,” Julie responds, making me sicker to my stomach. “Lacey, I would like to ask you the same question. Is this child Caine’s?” She waits for me to deny it. She eagerly waits for me to free her son from such a ginormous obligation.

  Fuck that. “Yes, Julie. The baby is his. For your information, Caine has been the one and only man I have ever slept with,” I retort, hoping she hears the underlying message. Tramp.

  “Lacey, I think it’s time for us to go.” Caine stands, bringing me to my feet. He nods to his stepdad and Edward before grabbing my hand to lead me to the car. “Maybe we’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he says over his shoulder as we walk out.

  “Caine! Wait Caine,” his mom pleads.

  “No mom. I won’t have you talking that way to Lacey. I don’t know what stunt you are trying to pull, but she isn’t like that. Lacey has never once been unfaithful. If you want to know what is going on between us, I’m the one to blame. I was stupid and cheated on her. She never did anything wrong. I am doing everything I can to help save our relationship,” he shouts. Oh WOW! I guess he sensed it, too.

  “Well, if you cheated on her, maybe there is a reason why you did such a thing, sweetie,” she says innocently.

  Oh, I have had my fill of this lady and something snaps inside me. “Julie, I’m doing everything I can to be respectful of you in your home, but I refuse to let you compare me with yourself. I’m not you. I didn’t whore around from guy to guy.” I bring one finger to my mouth and tap as if I’m trying to think. “Let’s see, what number marriage are you on?” Julie takes a long stride towards me and slaps me across the face. Fuck, that stings! Caine rushes to stand between us. I cannot believe she just slapped me.

  “Mom, we’re going. Let’s all cool off and maybe talk tomorrow.” Caine ushers me into the car with his mother muttering something. I’m trying my hardest to ignore it. Caine's mother is an alcoholic. She spends most days coping with a bottle in her hand. She wasn't the best mother to Caine or his brother and sister. I pray I'm nothing like her. I don’t think I will be because the mom who raised me is nothing like Julie. Oh no, my mom is going to flip if she finds out that Julie slapped me. And then it dawns on me. Caine didn’t really stick up for me when we were inside. Is he mad with the way I spoke to his mom?

  I can hear Caine say something to his mom as he walks around the back of the car. I can’t make out what his words from the muffled sounds, but honestly, I don’t care, because I’m so ready to go home now. He slides in his seat, starts the car, and looks over at me with sad eyes. “Lacey, I’m sorry my mom did that. I wish you wouldn’t have egged her on like that though. Did you really have to say those things?” he asks. Seriously Caine? This entire trip is becoming more of a clusterfuck by the moment and I’m already wishing it were over.

  I look at him in shock, thinking he couldn’t have just spoken those words. “Caine, I’m sorry if you aren’t happy with the way I spoke to your mom, but she needed to be put in her place. You had already told her I don’t sleep around and she continued to press the issue. I’m sorry if it hurt your feelings, but I’m not sorry for what I said to her. The way she treated me tonight was uncalled for. My parents would never treat you that way,” I rant, turning my head to look out the window. We are driving along a stretch of beach. I miss walking along the shoreline. Having grown up near the beach, I always enjoyed listening to the tide bringing the water to greet and tickle my feet, only to pull away as if playing a game. It’s very soothing, and at the moment, I am missing how it allows me the opportunity to think without the chaos of others thoughts, pressures, and expectations.

  About ten minutes later, we are pulling up to an apartment complex. “This is where Sam lives,” he tells me. “If you’re hungry, we can walk over to the strip and get something to eat after I put our bags away.”

  “Sure, that’s fine,” I answer, emotionally exhausted.

  “Lacey, please baby.” He turns to me. “I’m sorry about my mom. I love you. Let me try to make you feel better,” he begs and I nod, too tired to do anything else. Caine steps out of the car and grabs our bags. I follow him up the stairs to Sam’s third floor apartment. We knock, and within seconds, Sam opens the door pulling Caine and me into a hug. Well, at least one family member doesn’t mind being around me.

  “I’m so glad you guys are here!” she screeches. Oh my, it’s a mini Becca. I wish she were here with us. She would have hit Julie with her verbal Becc-lish language, slapping her into next year. The thought makes me smile. Shit, I’m going to hell.

  We step out for a bite to eat, catching up with Sam. I like her; she has a great personality and speaks animatedly. “So, big brother, how’s life going in Maryland?” she asks, taking a large bite of her burger. Oh how I wish I could eat like that and keep my figure. Shit, she doesn’t know I’m pregnant. I am praying she doesn’t react the same way as her mother. Oh my God, I still cannot believe that woman slapped me!

  “It’s been good.” He looks over at me as if asking permission. I give him a slight smile. What the hell are we going to do? Wait for his mother to inform the universe that I’m pregnant and did it on purpose? Oh, and it might not be his child. Bitch! “Lacey and I would like to tell you something.”

  “What, are you guys getting married?” she asked a little too excited for my mood.

  “Um, well, not exactly, at least not yet.” He turns to me again as if placing the blame on me for us not getting married. Watch it buddy! “We’re pregnant and I’m trying to talk Lacey into marrying me so that I can take care of her and our baby,” he tells her, never returning his gaze to his sister.

  Sam whistles. “Did you tell mom?” I nod.

  Caine says, “Yeah, she didn’t take it that well.”

  “She can be such a bitch sometimes. Lacey, don’t worry, honey. She was probably drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.” Sam tries to comfort me. Drunk... thinking clearly... OH. MY. GOD! Isn’t that what Caine did to me? Please God, do not let him be like his mother!