Destructive Silence (The Destructive Series)

by L. U. Ann

  “Ah-huh,” I prompt her to continue.

  “When Lucas left to go to the bathroom, Caine grabbed my hips bringing me closer to him. I tried to pull away. I swear I did, but before I knew it, the bastard’s lips were on mine and he was trying to make it kissalicious. It was a fucking brash move for the pig.”

  “What? Are you serious?” I yell, forgetting I’m at work. “Unfuckingbelievable!” I mutter quietly, with shock settling into my chest.

  “I’m sorry, love. I don’t want to upset you, but you need to know. He was acting weird all night before this stunt. Afterwards, I pushed him away and walked out. Lacey, I couldn’t stand to be there another minute.”

  “Does Lucas know?” I ask, watching customers shuffle in and out of the store, all seemingly happy and enjoying themselves.

  “No, I didn’t tell him. They were both drinking and I’m sure that was the root cause of the dumbass behavior. I had to tell you. I just couldn’t keep something like that from you. I’m worried he isn’t staying true to his promise, bestie,” she cries and I can hear the sniffle in her voice. “If you want me to tell Lucas, I will. He was confused about why I left without saying goodbye, and I told him I wasn’t feeling well.”

  “No, I understand. I’ll... I don’t know Becca. What the hell? Why did I take the prick back?” I ask confused.

  “I don’t know, love. I’m sorry. Will you call me if you talk to him? I’ll even come over if you need me,” she says and I assure her I’ll be fine. I’m not mad at Becca. There is no way in hell she would deliberately do something like this. What the fuck? Would Caine have gone further if it were someone else? Why would he make a move on my best friend knowing how tight we are?

  I’m deep in my thoughts when I feel my body catching up from doing too much with the move and work. My back is hurting and I begin having cramps. I glance at the clock as I see my sister walk into the store to relieve me. I completely lost track of time. I talk with her a little bit about the apartment. Caine is already home when I arrive and he greets me at the door. How the hell do I broach the subject about Becca? “Hey baby.” He kisses me tenderly and attempts to deepen it when I flinch from a sharp pain in my side that takes my breath away.

  “What the hell is wrong?” he asks pulling us to the sofa, wrapping me in a blanket and propping my feet up.

  “It’s nothing honey, just some cramping.”

  “Dammit Lacey, you’re working too much and you need to speak to your parents about reducing your hours, or I will,” he says angrily.

  “Caine, I’m behind the counter most of the day. It’s not a hard job, plus mom is getting ready to have surgery on her neck and needs my help. I’ve already promised them I would step up and take on more hours until she has recovered.”

  “That’s bullshit Lacey. You’re pregnant and you can’t be on your feet all day. You are always sticking up for your family and doing what they want you to do. When are you going to stop putting them first?”

  “Caine, I’m not putting them first. I’m also not on my feet all day and lots of women out there work harder than I do while they are pregnant. I can sit behind the counter whenever I need to. Please stop worrying about me working. The cramps are probably from all the lifting I was doing during the move and not from work. Relax honey,” I say trying to tame his temper.

  “Whatever,” he says dismissing his anger. “Listen, Lucas and the guys are going out tonight and invited me. Are you okay if I go?” Shock is probably written all over my face. He’s really going to leave while I’m cramping? Holy shit! I was not expecting this.

  Exhausted from the week, I wasn’t in the mood to argue so I told him it was fine. He left about an hour later. Okay, fine, go have your fun. When did I start walking on eggshells around him? Why do I, when I’ve worked so hard to get my dignity back after what happened with my uncle? I wake up around three in the morning when Caine finally makes it home. He pulls me towards him to snuggle and says, “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier. You pushed my buttons and made me so angry.” My breath hitches from his morphed words, and it takes me a good half hour to find solace in his arms as I drift back into slumber.

  I wake up to the most annoying sound in the world – my alarm clock. I hit it several times before I finally get out of bed. By this time, Caine is practically pushing me out so I’ll turn the alarm off and he can go back to sleep for another hour. What a prick!

  I feel a lot better today. So far, I’m not having any cramping. I think I just needed rest to recoup from a long week. Time is flying by today. After lunch, Caine calls. “Hey baby,” he says when I answer.

  “Hi yourself, are you at work?” I think about whether I should talk with him about what he did the other night, but I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to ask him about the Becca thing now. He’s been getting so angry lately.

  “Yeah I’m here. I just got off the phone with Lucas. He’s invited me to a party tonight.” What the hell? Is he going to be going out every night? Is he going to kiss someone like he tried with Becca? Is Caine cheating again?

  “Um... I was kind of hoping we could have a night in together. We haven’t been able to spend much time together and I miss you,” I tell him guiltily.

  “Oh baby, we can do that any night now that we live together.” Rendering me speechless to argue, we hang up. I have resolved myself to spending another night alone while he goes out partying.

  I’m on my way home from work and an accident blocking most of the highway lanes keeps me from getting home at the usual time. We’ve been in the apartment for about a month now and things haven’t gotten better. It’s nothing like I originally thought it would be moving in together. Caine is always drinking and gets mad at me over the simplest things. I’ve settled into the fact that I will do whatever it takes to keep the peace for the baby. Finally walking through the door just before seven, I face a very pissed off Caine. “Sorry I’m late. There was an acci–”

  Caine interjects after swallowing his swig of beer. “I was hoping to spend some time with my wife before I went out tonight,” he asserts with anger all over his voice. “And where the fuck is your phone?”

  “Er,” I pull it out of my purse and see twelve missed calls from... shit! “I must have it on silent from work. I never heard it. There was an accident, I’m sorry. Anyway, you could stay home tonight for us to spend...” He puts his hand up stopping me.

  “I already talked to you about this Lacey. I’m going out with the guys and I’ve been sitting here waiting over an hour for you to get home.” I give him a sad smile. He walks over and I hope he is going to pull me into a hug. A hug I desperately crave right now. “What the hell are you smiling about?” He slaps me across the face. Oh no, no, no. Please no!

  I immediately begin to cry, as I’m unsure of anything anymore. We stare at each other until my eyes burn from the stare, and then I try to explain why I was so late. “Caine...” I try to say more, but he attempts to shut me up by putting his hand over my face. I can hardly breathe since my nose is stuffy from crying. I start to squirm, needing more air, when Caine pushes me over and slaps my rear. Hard! What the hell?

  “If you are going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like a child.” He continues to spank me as if I had been a defiant tot.

  Once I was able to push away from him, I said, “Do not ever lay another hand on me!” I need to go upstairs and get away from him. I lock myself in our bedroom and collapse on the bed. There is no sense in arguing because he is going to pin me as the bad guy no matter what. I can’t have his friends showing up with me looking like this. Although, it probably doesn’t matter because there is no way I’m leaving this room until after he’s gone. Feeling exhausted from everything, I get ready for bed. I feel like I’m losing the fight I once held. Caine somehow has created this Lacey who can barely stick up for herself or is scared to. When did I allow this to happen? Oh God, he’s his mother!

  Lucas and the guys show up about forty-five minutes later to
pick him up. They didn’t bother keeping their voices down. I could hear how giddy Caine was about going out tonight and it made me uncomfortable. He probably continued drinking after I came upstairs.

  Becca calls about ten minutes after the guys leave. I answer with her voice immediately pushing through the receiver.

  “What up bitch?” she asks.

  “Nothing, just getting ready for bed,” I tell her, too tired to say much more.

  “Why are you sniffling? Did you confront Caine about the other night at The Cellar?”

  “No, it’s fine. I’ve been yawning and it’s making my nose run.”

  “Lacey, I call bullshit. What the hell happened to make you cry?” she asks worriedly.

  I tell her about our argument over me getting home from work late. I didn’t dare tell her about Caine slapping or spanking me. She would pull a ‘Lorena Bobbitt’ for sure. Plus, she doesn’t need to worry about that. Her focus should be on her classwork and her relationship with Lucas. Not her fucked up friend who managed to get knocked up, married, and who now wants to leave.

  “Well, I hear the guys are going out again,” she’s says sarcastically.

  “Yeah, they left a few minutes ago. Listen, Becca, I’m really tired and just want to go to sleep. Can I call you tomorrow?” I ask.

  “Sure bestie. I love you,” she tells me, before hanging up.

  I try to push away my insecurities about Caine’s behavior. I wish I could have a do-over because I certainly wouldn’t have married him. I wonder what the hell has gotten into him. He has completely changed since moving in together. I didn’t ask for us to live together. Why is he acting as if I’ve trapped him? I wonder if he’s been talking with his mother and she’s feeding him baloney about our relationship; I wouldn’t put it past her. Eventually, sleep overtakes me as I contemplate my relationship with Caine. I wake up around two to a noise. Thinking it’s Caine, I start to drift off to sleep, before I shoot out of bed, nervous I didn’t unlock the bedroom door. If he finds it locked, he might take last night’s incident up a notch. Why did he hit me? I don’t understand because we were only having a heated conversation, well, a one-sided conversation, and then he slaps and spanks me? Another noise startles me and I go downstairs to see if Caine is okay. Surprise, surprise. No Caine. It is our neighbors coming in from wherever they might have been this evening. I head back to bed and try to go back to sleep. I begin to worry as the clock reads three... three-thirty... four-thirty. I pray something didn’t happen to him. We don’t have our home phone hooked up yet, so I immediately grab my cell phone. There aren’t any messages. I send him a quick text asking where he is. I contemplate going out and looking for him but worry that I will fall asleep driving. A little after five this morning, Caine walks through the door. Seriously what excuse could he have?

  “Caine?” I ask groggily.

  “It’s me; go back to sleep baby,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “Lucas wouldn’t leave; that’s why I’m home so late.” With a deep sigh he continues. “I’m sorry for earlier. I had a bad day at work. I love you. Can we try to have a better evening tonight?” He kisses my cheek and pulls me in tighter against his body. I’m sorry. Did I miss something?

  “You should’ve just left him with Becca. He would have been fine, since he is dating her after all, and the party was at her house.” I feel his body tense behind me. I know Caine isn’t telling me the truth. I worry he was with someone. He stayed at the party because someone must have sparked his interest. Someone who wasn’t pregnant, who didn’t tie him down, and who is all the things I’m not. For heaven’s sake, why hasn’t he tried to have sex with me the past couple of weeks? I thought it was the stress and now I wonder if there is someone else.

  After worrying about Caine half the night, I didn’t fall back asleep for a while. My alarm clock sounded. For the love of God! I need to be at work in two hours and I’m scheduled to close the store. It’s going to be a long day.

  I fight my heavy eyelids for most of the day. Caine comes by the store to talk to dad about some stuff. I wonder if he is sniffing around to see if I told anyone about him slapping and spanking me. About an hour later, he pulls me into a hug and asks what I am doing tonight. Hmm... Why does he want to know or why does he care? And then it dawns on me! I ask, “Caine where are you going?” Now it’s all too clear.

  “I had so much fun last night that I want to go out again.” Wow! Another disappointment to chalk up on the ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ board! I guess he hasn’t gotten his fun out of his system.

  “Lacey, have my friends called?” Caine asks, walking back into the store after spending about an hour perusing the mall.

  “If they call, I will tell you. Where is your cell phone anyway?” I respond irritated.

  “It’s in the car, dead. I forgot to charge it this morning and left the vehicle charger in Lucas’ car.” Nice! “So, do you have plans with Becca?” he asks again. Does he want to see Becca, or does he remember what he tried to do and is worried about her talking to me?

  “No Caine. I’m tired and just want to get some sleep. I think we need to have a talk whenever you can find time out of your busy schedule.”

  “Oh okay.” He knows I’m upset and holding onto a grudge from last night.

  “What time are you leaving?” I ask, wondering if I’m going to get any sleep, or if I am going to be up all night worrying until he comes home.

  “Um, I’m not really going anywhere. I just wanted to see how you’d react to me going out again.” He smirks. Whoa... talk about cruel. Why would someone deliberately upset someone to see how she would react? This not only affects me, but our baby too.

  Caine knows how much I love going out dancing. He knows it bothers me that I had to give it up. For me, the reprieve is worth it while I have the little blimp cooking inside of me. Most of my friends are partying and living the high life while I’ve removed myself from that scene. Getting pregnant right out of high school is hard and most definitely frowned upon. I can’t stand the pity of my friends or the looks their parents give me. I know I messed up and we’re now a statistic. My social circle is gone, except for Becca. Her parents, like mine, didn’t like the idea of me pregnant at such a young age, but they didn’t ostracize me. Becca’s parents embrace it and are supportive of my decision to keep the little guy. I wonder what I could have done differently. Abortion was strictly out of the question. Did I really need to marry this man? What the hell happened to the Caine who was begging me to give him another chance? Could I have raised the baby by myself? I wish I could just run away with the baby without Caine ever knowing about him or her, but then what’s done is done. There is no going back and I can’t run away now. Where would I go? He would probably call the police on me for leaving with his baby. He would do it just to hurt me at this point. I can only make things better for the little one inside of me and for myself from this moment on.

  I walk through the door and feel a sigh of relief; the shower and bed are calling my name. Caine follows behind me. “I’m going to get a quick shower,” I tell him.

  “Come here, I want to show you something first.” I follow him into the kitchen where a huge bouquet of flowers sits on the counter with a note sticking out of the top. “Go ahead and read it.”

  “Oh my, they’re beautiful.” I smile, taking in the dozen different colored roses and flowers. I pull out the note, careful not to mess up the arrangement and it reads ‘Lacey, I’m so sorry for the way I behaved last night. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I love you more than anything. Love always, Caine.’ My eyes water from the sentiment and I tell him, “I love you too,” without taking my eyes off the bouquet.

  “Hey, shh... come here. Please don’t cry. I want to make you happy.” He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a hug. I nod into his shoulder. He rubs my back and we stand for what feels like hours with my little bump between us. Pushing his hands into my hair and pulling my head back, his lips find mine. He gently kisses me, taking h
is time. Moments later his lips move, searching for more access, starving for a taste, as he flicks his tongue out to request entrance along the seam. He groans. Oh God! The kiss deepens with our tongues swirling and I relax against him. He sucks on my bottom lip, igniting flames in the pit of my stomach. His hands begin to explore, sweeping me up into a generous state of happiness. Happy tears fall from my eyes as my heart begins to heal from the massive heartache that was last night. He is apologizing and is showing regret. I know he is sorry and needs me to forgive him. I raise my hands to his back to remove any shadow of distance between us. Caine pushes me against the wall, realizing my little bump is getting in the way. He grabs my hand. “Come with me.” He ushers me upstairs to our room.