Billy Sure Kid Entrepreneur Is NOT a SINGER!

by Luke Sharpe

  Def initely Sure

  MY NAME IS BILLY SURE. Right now I’m sitting at my workbench at the World Headquarters of SURE THINGS, INC. Across the room—which used to be the Reyes family garage—sits my best friend and business partner, Manny Reyes. Manny and I make up Sure Things, Inc., the world’s only inventing company run by seventh graders—or so we thought.

  We recently discovered that a company named Definite Devices also exists, and it is also run by two seventh graders—Nat Definite and Jada Parikh. And not only do they exist, but they were working on an invisibility invention at the same time as us at Sure Things, Inc.!

  As you can imagine, that was kind of a problem. But Manny, being the genius chief financial officer (CFO) he is, worked out a deal. We all agreed to jointly release an invisibility kit produced by both Sure Things, Inc. and Definite Devices—the DEFINITELY SURE INVISIBILITY (AND ANTI-INVISIBILITY) SPRAYS.

  Before our two companies agreed to work together on that one invention, Nat did her best to try to steal Manny away from me—and from Sure Things, Inc! She wanted him to work with her over at Definite Devices, because . . . well, the obvious answer is that Manny is a brilliant CFO, businessperson, marketing genius, computer whiz . . . but it’s MORE THAN THAT.

  Nat has a crush on Manny!

  “That is the most beautiful spreadsheet I’ve ever seen, Manny,” Nat says, her face glowing. (Oh yeah. Because we’re technically partners and all, she’s sitting at the World Headquarters now too.)

  Jada, who Manny agreed to train as the CFO for Definite Devices, scrunches up her face.

  “How can a spreadsheet be beautiful, Nat?” she asks. “It’s just a series of numbers and projections and—”

  “Anything Manny does is beautiful,” says Nat.

  See what I mean?

  “So, Jada,” Manny begins, doing his best to ignore Nat, “as you can see, we’ve placed the sprays in a few high-end specialty stores.”

  “To generate early buzz on social media,” Jada adds.

  “Exactly,” Manny replies. “So by the time we release it to the major chains—”

  “—people will be waiting in line to buy it,” Jada finishes.

  Jada’s really smart. Like . . . Manny-smart.

  Just then a noise comes from Manny’s phone.

  Ping!

  “Looks like we have another incident of someone using the Definitely Sure Invisibility Spray to cut a line,” Manny says, frowning. “Last week someone used it at a movie theater. Now in a theme park.”

  “That’s not good,” I say. Then I get an idea. “Maybe the next batch of sprays can make kids who try to cut lines grow REALLY BIG ELEPHANT TRUNKS! Temporarily, of course.”

  “Great idea, partner,” Manny says. “That could make using the rides really hard!”

  I might be imagining it, but I think he emphasizes the word “partner” so that Nat and Jada notice.

  “All right, that’s enough work for today,” Manny adds with a smile.

  I think what Manny really means is, You should go home now, Nat.

  Nat frowns. But she can’t complain, because she has been here for hours. She and Jada pack up and leave.

  I’m just about to do my best Nat imitation a few minutes later, (“Manny, you are so, so funny!”) when Briiiiing! Briiiing! My phone rings. I don’t recognize the number.

  I pick up the phone, hoping it has nothing to do with Definite Devices. Don’t get me wrong—I’m happy there are other kids out there who are working on their dreams. I’ve just kind of had enough of them for today.

  “Hi, Billy?” comes a voice through the phone.

  Hmm. It doesn’t sound like Nat or Jada!

  “Is this a good time to talk?” she asks, pronouncing every syllable clearly in a British accent. “It’s Gemma Weston.”

  Gemma . . . Weston?!

  She’s only the most famous movie star in the whole world!

  TV or Not TV

  “UH, HEY, GEMMA, HOW ARE you doing?” I say, thinking instantly that I sound like a major dork. I just so happen to be speaking to one of the world’s biggest celebrities, and here I am, saying things like “uh, hey.”

  “I’m well, thank you,” Gemma replies. “I still think about the fun we had filming Alien Zombie Attack! ”

  Okay, explanation. Not too long ago, Manny, Emily, and I were extras in Gemma’s film Alien Zombie Attack! as part of an agreement to let Sure Things, Inc.’s hovercraft invention be used in the film. While there, Emily and Gemma became close friends. And I hadn’t realized it, but I’m now on a first name basis with Gemma Weston too!

  “That was pretty fun, Gemma,” I say. “I had a really good time making that movie. So, what’s up?”

  “If you remember, I told you that I’d love to work with Sure Things, Inc. again,” Gemma says excitedly. “And the chance to work together has just come up! I’ve been asked to host a new TV show called Sing Out and Shout. It’s airing live this weekend. It’s a singing competition show.”

  “A singing competition show,” I repeat. “Is it okay if I put you on speakerphone, Gemma? I’m at the Sure Things, Inc. office now, and I’d love to have Manny listen in.”

  “Absolutely!” Gemma says.

  Click. Her voice fills the open air.

  “Hello, Manny! I was just telling Billy about a singing competition TV show I’m hosting. We are looking for celebrity contestants and celebrity judges, and I thought that you two might be interested,” Gemma explains.

  CELEBRITY JUDGES?!

  Did the mega movie star Gemma Weston just call me a celebrity? I mean, tons of kids know my name because of my inventions and all that—but enough to be called a celebrity by an actual celebrity . . . that’s a whole other level of cool!

  “So, what do you think?” Gemma asks. “Can I count on you two to help me out this weekend?”

  Manny and I exchange looks. The weekend is only a few days away. I’m ready to pipe up and scream YES!, but Manny looks a little concerned.

  “Can you give us a second, Gemma?” I ask. I put the call on mute.

  “What’s the matter?” I ask Manny. “We always have a good time when we go on TV.”

  “Billy, I don’t love being in the spotlight,” Manny says. “Every time we’ve been on TV before, it’s you who’s been interviewed. I only agreed to be in Alien Zombie Attack! because we were dressed as zombies. And for our Next Big Thing show, I was promoting Sure Things, Inc. But for me personally to be on TV—I just don’t know. . . .”

  Huh. I never realized that Manny has a little bit of stage fright.

  “But that’s the beautiful thing about this show,” I explain. “We won’t be in the spotlight. The celebrity singers will be. And so this becomes awesome publicity for Sure Things, Inc., just as we are promoting the REALLY GREAT HOVERCRAFT TOY and the INVISIBILITY KIT. And all this, Manny, will be hosted by a big movie star!”

  Okay, I guess that was all really Manny of me to say. Manny is usually the one to push publicity on me, but I think this makes sense. Also I really want to work with Gemma Weston again. I wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but I might have a teeny-tiny crush on Gemma Weston, although it’s nowhere near as big as the crush Nat has on Manny.

  Manny thinks for a moment, then smiles. I can see him warming to this idea.

  “Well, when you put it that way . . . ,” he says. “All that publicity. Yeah, let’s do it. After all, what can happen?”

  “Score!” I shout.

  I quickly touch my phone’s screen to unmute us.

  “Well, that was fast,” Gemma says.

  “Yeah, it didn’t take long for us to figure out that this is a GREAT IDE
A. Manny and I would love to be on Sing Out and Shout. Sign us up!”

  “That’s fantastic, Team Sure Things, Inc.,” she says. “I just know you two are going to have a great time. And also, one request?” she asks. “Please invite Emily to the show on my behalf. I really miss her. And it’s strange—lately it seems that her phone is always off. That’s not like Em at all.”

  I really wasn’t kidding when I said Emily and Gemma are close friends.

  She’s right, of course. Emily’s phone has been off. That’s because she’s been grounded. Remember when I said we were extras on Gemma’s film? Well, we weren’t supposed to be—a few weeks ago, Emily stole my hovercraft invention and crash-landed at the studio. Dad let us be in the movie, but after Emily’s little bout of—you know—STEALING my hovercraft—he grounded her “for life.” I don’t think he’s too serious about the “for life” sentence, though, because later he said that if she is as nice as she can possibly be and does ONE NICE BIG THING for everyone in the family, she will be ungrounded.

  But until then, no phone. I’m not going to tell Gemma that. Despite the fact that Emily and I don’t always get along—did I mention that she’s my big sister?—I don’t need to embarrass her.

  “I’ll definitely relay the message, Gemma,” I say.

  “Great. Thanks. I’ll send you the schedule for the show soon. See ya, Billy and Manny!”

  “Bye, Gemma,” Manny and I say in unison.

  Bye, Gemma. How cool is that!

  I stand near the door with a huge smile on my face. That’s when I notice something—it’s really late! I hardly noticed the time passing with everything going on today at the office.

  “Uh, I should go home now,” I say, feeling a little foolish, standing there in a daze because I just got off the phone with Gemma Weston. “See ya tomorrow, Manny. Come on, Philo!”

  My dog, Philo, who always comes with me to the Sure Things, Inc. office, follows me out the door. I hop onto my bike and head for home.

  At home I run into Emily in the upstairs hallway. Or at least, I think I run into Emily. It could also be a FLAMINGO. Or a TINY, FLUFFY DOG. Or an OSTRICH. But since none of those options really make sense, I decide it’s Emily wearing a really strange-looking hat. The hat has three flowers growing out the front and a statue of a bird with its wings spread open on the back.

  This? This has got to be Emily’s next “thing.” My sister has always had a “thing,” like speaking with a British accent, or wearing glasses with no lenses, or apparently wearing a hat that makes her look like a flamingo-dog-ostrich hybrid. Thankfully, Emily’s things are gone as quickly as they come. And for her sake, I’m hoping this one goes fast.

  “You’re never going to believe who called me today,” I begin, doing my best not to laugh.

  “Dad?” Emily replies. “Saying I’m ungrounded and can have my phone back?”

  “Sorry, no,” I say. “It was Gemma Weston!”

  Emily’s expression immediately changes. “She called you? Why did she call you?”

  “She asked Manny and me to be on her new TV show. Isn’t that cool?”

  Emily’s eyes flash. Emily is Sure Things, Inc.’s VERY OFFICIAL HOLLYWOOD COORDINATOR, so technically, booking a TV show falls into her realm of business at Sure Things, Inc. But I think she’s so upset about her phone—or maybe she’s so tired from wearing that heavy hat all day—that she doesn’t say anything.

  I continue. “And Gemma invited you to come to the TV show as her special guest, too,” I say. “But it airs this weekend . . .”

  “No! That does it!” Emily screeches. “I have got to get out of this grounded-for-life punishment by then!”

  She storms into her room and slams the door shut.

  You’re welcome, I think.

  Making Things Write

  AT DINNER I’M ABSOLUTELY BUZZING about the TV show. I just hope that Mom has convinced Dad to order in food tonight.

  My dad is great. He’s a fabulous father and a pretty good artist (even if “pretty good artist” means he loves painting close-ups of Philo’s tongue). What he is not, however, is a good cook.

  I sit down at the table. Oh no, I think. The Sure family silverware is out. That means we aren’t using plastic silverware, which means Mom probably didn’t order in. . . .

  “Good news,” Dad announces as he sits down. “I made a brand-new dish—roasted kale roots casserole with caramel syrup and cottage cheese! I thought it up myself!”

  I certainly can’t imagine anyone else thinking it up. And, as always, I’m thankful for Sure Things, Inc.’s GROSS-TO-GOOD POWDER. It does exactly what it sounds like it does—makes gross food taste good—and it’s kept hidden in the salt shaker at the family table so we don’t hurt Dad’s feelings.

  A few seconds later Emily comes downstairs and sits next to me. She’s wearing a new hat with multicolored feathers sticking out in every direction.

  Philo takes one look at Emily’s hat, groans, and runs behind the couch.

  Dad places the casserole dish onto a square metal trivet on the table. Without saying a word, he globs his creation onto each of our plates. Mom, Emily, and I all reach for the salt shaker containing Gross-to-Good-Powder at the same time.

  “I think I might make this dish the subject of my next painting,” Dad announces.

  I look down at the casserole. It’s pretty goopy. I don’t know much about art, but it looks like the FARTHEST THING FROM ART to me.

  “I’m so proud of you, Bryan,” says Mom. “Tons of people showed up for your art show, and their reactions were wonderful.”

  “I bet it was funny watching those artsy folks debate what they were looking at, while you knew it was really a painting of Philo’s nose!” I say to Dad.

  “As long as they enjoyed the paintings, they’re allowed to think whatever they like,” Dad says. “That’s the beauty of art. Each person has his or her own interpretation.”

  How can you not know you are looking at a dog nose? I think. But I don’t say anything.

  As if to change the subject, Mom turns to Emily and me. “How were your days?” she asks.

  “Great, actually,” I say, answering first. The more I get to talk, the less I have to eat. “I got a phone call from Gemma Weston!”

  “Wow!” says Mom. “Em, didn’t you two really hit it off when you shot that vampire movie?”

  Emily looks at Mom. I can’t figure out if the tortured expression on her face is because she wasn’t able to get Gemma’s call directly or because Mom can’t tell the difference between vampires and zombies.

  “Zombies, Mom,” says Emily, brushing feathers out of her eyes. One feather pops loose and floats down, landing in her dinner.

  “The movie was about zombies,” Emily continues.

  It’s silent for a second.

  “Right. Zombies, of course,” Mom says. She turns to me. “So what did Gemma want?”

  I fill everyone in on the details of the Sing Out and Shout TV show.

  “That’s fantastic, Billy,” says Dad. “Another TV show—my son, the TV star!”

  I see a sly smile spread across Emily’s face. I can almost see her brain working. If she slips in something fast about going to the TV show too, Mom and Dad might forget she’s grounded!

  “You left out the best part, Billy,” Emily says. “My close friend Gemma has personally invited me to go to the show as her SPECIAL GUEST. Isn’t that exciting?”

  Yup, I saw that one coming.

  But unfortunately for Emily, Mom is a spy—which means she picks up on every detail.

  “You, young lady, are still grounded,” Mom points out. “Remember?”

  Emily sighs. “How could I forget?” She mumbles under her breath.

  “You still have one nice thing to do for Dad, and then your punishment will be over,” Mom says.

  “I just wish there was something I could help Dad with,” Emily says, looking down at her food and noticing the feather on her plate for the first time. “I can’t
exactly help him cook. We all know our . . . cooking preferences . . . are, um, different.”

  Nice save, Em. I was wondering where she was headed with that.

  Dad, who seems to genuinely want to help Emily out, stops shoveling his dinner into his mouth and scratches his head. I can almost see his brain working as he searches for something nice Emily can do for him.

  “I’VE GOT IT!” he exclaims a few seconds later. “Em, why don’t you help me write the thank-you notes to the people who came to my art show? I was going to type them all, but a handwritten card is just so much more personal. And thankfully, I kept a list of everyone who came!”

  Emily looks up excitedly.

  “Sure, Dad!” she says, her whole mood instantly brightening. “So that means when I’m done, my grounded-for-life status is finished?” Truthfully, I’m wondering the same thing. Did she really get off so easy?

  Mom and Dad shrug.

  “I don’t see why not,” Mom says.

  “You can get started on them tonight,” says Dad cheerily. “Only FIVE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-TWO thank-you notes to go!”

  Pen Pal

  I’M AT THE OFFICE THE next day when I get an e-mail from Gemma, outlining the details for Sing Out and Shout. Which is pretty good, considering the taping starts in two days.

  Manny joins me as I open the e-mail.

  “Okay, it looks like the show is going to be a three-day extravaganza, broadcast live on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday,” I say.

  We dive into the meat of the e-mail:

  Hey, Billy and Manny, I am so excited that you have both agreed to take part in Sing Out and Shout. As a reminder, Sing Out and Shout is a reality show where celebrities who aren’t famous for their music compete to see who is the best singer! Here are the rules:

  Six celebrities will compete. Two celebrities will be sent home after the first night, two after the second night, and on the third night the remaining two contenders will sing a duet, but only one will be crowned the Sing Out and Shout champion.

  Sing Out and Shout will be judged by three celebrity judges as well as viewers at home (home viewers will send in their votes through text message).