Dames Don’t Care

by Peter Cheyney

  "So she drives off an' she comes back with the rest of this stuff - 195 thousand dollars' worth of Registered Dollar Bonds in denominations of fifty thousand, twenty thousand, ten thousand, five thousand, an' one thousand dollars, with the usual interest bearing coupons that go with them.

  "In the meantime Krat, the manager, has been on to me about this an' after she has left the stuff at the bank, I go over an' look at it. The whole durn lot is counterfeit, but the job has been done so well that you have to have one helluva look before you see it.

  "Well, there is the story. The same day I put the report through to the State. I suppose they pass it on to Washington an' you get the job. What are you goin' to do? Do you think she was in on this game? Do you think that she an' this husband of hers got this stuff made before he killed himself?"

  "I wouldn't know, Chief," I say. "Nothing matches up in this deal. I've handled some screwy jobs in my time, but I don't think I've ever got one quite like this, an' maybe it won't be so hot for her before I am through with it."

  "One of them interestin' things, huh?" he says.

  "Yeah," I tell him. "An' how! It's one of them funny ones - you know, nothin' matches up, but as a case it's durned interestin'. Here's how it goes:

  "This guy Granworth Aymes an' the dame Henrietta Aymes have been married about six years. He is a gambler. He plays the market an' sometimes he makes plenty dough an' sometimes he's scrabbin' around for the rent. They do themselves pretty well though; they live in the Claribel Apartments, New York, an' they are heavy spenders an' put up a good front. They are supposed to be plenty happy too, in fact this Claribel Apartments dump is just another little love nest, an' you know how they usually end up?

  "OK. Well, at the end of last year this Granworth Aymes gets a hot tip. He plays it up well an' believe it or not the deal comes off. He muscles in on a big stock-pushin' racket an' he walks out of it with a quarter of a million dollars profit. The boy is now in the money.

  "Well, it looks like he has a meeting with himself an' he comes to the conclusion that he's had enough of bein' up an' down on the market an' for once he is goin' to be a sensible guy an' salt down some of the profits. So he pays fifty thousand dollars into his checkin' account at the bank and with the other two hundred thousand bucks he buys himself that much worth of US Registered Dollar Bonds. He brings 'em along to his downtown office an' he makes 'em up into a parcel an' seals it down an' he calls his lawyer on the telephone an' tells him to legally transfer the Dollar Bonds to his wife Henrietta Aymes. He says that if it's her money then they'll be all right in the future because she is a careful dame, an' will stick to the dough an' not let him go jazzin' it around.

  "The lawyer guy gets a bit of a shock at hearin' Granworth talk like this, but he is pleased that he is gettin' some sense, an' he draws up a deed of gift to Henrietta Aymes an' the deed is registered an' the lawyer then hands the bonds over to Henrietta, an' the bonds he handed over was OK, they wasn't phoney, they was the real stuff.

  "All right. Well, Granworth is on top of the world, ain't he? He's got a swell wife - because they tell me that this Henrietta is one swell baby-he's got fifty thousand dollars in his checkin' account. He don't owe no money an' everything is hunky dory.

  "An' it looks like Granworth is learnin' some sense. He plans to buy some more insurance. He is insured on an annuity policy at this time with the Second National Corporation an' he waltzes along an' he says he wants to take out additional insurance. He wants to pay a down premium of thirty thousand dollars. They examine him for health an' they find him OK. They give him the new policy, but there is just one little snag.

  "Two years before this guy Granworth Aymes has tried to bump himself off. He tries to commit suicide by jumpin' in East River. He'd been havin' a bad time an' was broke an' didn't like it. He was fished out by a patrolman.

  "Havin' regard to this little thing the Insurance Corporation make a proviso in his policy. The proviso says that, havin' regard to the fact that he has tried to commit suicide on a previous occasion, in the event of future suicide on his pan the policy is nullified. They will pay on anything else but not suicide.

  "Got that? Well, everything goes along OK an' he makes a bit more dough on the market, an' on the 12th January this year he does another little deal that nets him twelve thousand. He has got forty thousand dollars in his checkin' account at the bank, no debts, a wife with two hundred thousand Dollar Bonds an' is in the best of health accordin' to the Insurance examination of a few months before. So what? So just this. He goes an' commits suicide. Can you beat that?

  "On the evenin' of January 12th he is workin' late at his office with his secretary, a guy named Burdell. His wife is stayin' in Hanford, Connecticut; he has fixed to go out to a party with some guys he knows, an' this Burdell guy says he was plenty excited about something.

  "He packs up at about eight o'clock an' rings through to the garage for his car. He helps himself to a big drink, says good-night to the Burdell bird an' scrams. Burdell says he was lookin' a bit strange when he went outa the office.

  "He used to drive a big grey-blue Cadillac - a car you worldn't forget. At ten minutes past nine he is seen by a wharf watchman drivin' the car down to Cotton's Wharf which is around there, an' while this guy is watchin' him Granworth drives the car into a wooden pile, bounces off an' goes over the edge into East River.

  "Next mornin' they yank the car out. Granworth is smashed up pretty good. They get him along to the morgue an' Burdell is telephoned for an' comes along an' identifies him. In his pocket, inside his wallet is a note sayin' that he is feelin' funny in the head an' that he reckons he had better take this way out an' to give his love to his wife an' say he is sorry for what he is doin'.

  "All this stuff comes out at the inquest, an' his wife is brought back an' is knocked out by the news, an' they bury this guy an' that is that.

  "All right. They clear up his business affairs, an' after everything is fixed up Henrietta reckons that she will come out here an' give herself a holiday at the Hacienda Altmira which was a property Granworth had bought when he was out here two years before an' leased to this guy Periera who calls himself the manager out there. She goes off, an' she hands over Granworth's office business to the secretary Burdell, because Granworth had said one time that he would like him to have it

  "All right. Well the Aymes dame comes out here, an' she brings with her about five thousand dollars that was what she got after probate was fixed out of Granworth's checkin' account, an' I suppose she brings out the two hundred thousand bucks in Dollar Bonds. The next thing is that Washington is advised by the State here that a phoney Bond has been slipped over by her an' that she has got another 195,000 dollars' worth of phoney Dollar Bonds, an' they put me on the job.

  "I do a little bit of delvin' around an' I get the shorthand notes of the inquest an' get the dope that I have just told you. I check up with this Burdell guy, an' he confirms everything, includin' the fact that this Henrietta was a durn good wife an' a swell dame to get along with; that she was too swell for a piker like Granworth.

  "Meantime, I reckon that it will be a good thing if somebody keeps an eye on this dame out here. So I get Sagers put on the job. He gets orders to get along here an' fix himself a job out at the Altmira somehow an' just case out the situation out there. He told me all he knew tonight an' it wasn't much. So there we go, an' what do you know about that?"

  Mens scratches his head.

  "I reckon that's durn funny!' he says. "It looks as if somebody had got the original real Bonds off her an' slipped her the phoney stuff in their place."

  "Maybe," I tell him, "an' maybe not. Listen, Chief," I go on, "you tell me something. When this bank manager Krat found out that the first Bond she tried to slip over was phoney, who did he tell besides you?"

  "Nobody," he says. "He told me that he hadn't said a word. He was the guy who found out that the Bond was screwy an' he told the boys in the Bank to keep their traps shut an' say nothiri' to anybody
. He said that it would be a federal job an' the least said the better. Naturally, I ain't told a soul. I reckoned a federal agent would be along here pretty quick an' I never talk."

  He looks at me old-fashioned.

  "Say," he says with a sorta snarl, "you don't think...

  "I don't think nothin'," I tell him, "but I'm just askin' you to get a load of this. I got my instructions to handle this job ten days ago. I was in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I ease right along to New York, an' park myself at a hotel dump I use on East 30th Street. The second day I was there somebody sent me a note with no signature on it. This note said that I would probably do a durn sight better for myself if I was to get out to Palm Springs an' take a look around the dump where Mrs Aymes was stayin', that I might find some interestin' letters there.

  "Well, I was lucky. Sagers tipped me off about this place tonight, an' I went over there. There wasn't anybody around an' I had a look around an' I found the letters. They was hidden in a book with the inside cut out - you know, Chiet the old stuff-an' these letters show that things wasn't so good between Henrietta an' Granworth as the world believed. More than that they show that she wasn't in Connecticut the night he bumped himself off. She was in New York, an' she'd gone there to have a show down with him. An' how do you like that?"

  He whistles.

  "That's a hot one," he says, pourin' me out some more bourbon. "Maybe there was something screwy about that suicide of his. Maybe she bumped him somehow. Women can get like that sometimes."

  "You're tellin' me," I say, "an' what does she bump him for? Does she bump him because she's found that the two hundred grand in Dollar Bonds is phoney, huh? Does she find that out an' get annoyed with him? That would be a motive all right, but I reckon that if she knew the Bonds was fake she wouldn't have been such a mug as to try an'cashoneinona bank. She'd have tried a fast one on somebody who wasn't so wise as a bank guy."

  I shake my head.

  "I can't get it," I say. "It's not so hot."

  He grins.

  "Dames is funny things," he says. "They do all sorts of screwy things - even the best of 'em."

  I sink the bourbon.

  "You're tellin' me," I say. "I know 'em. Dames don't care. Once they got an idea they just do something tough."

  "Yeah," he says. "So what are you goin' to do?"

  I grin.

  "Well, Chief," I tell him, "I'll tell you what I ain't goin' to do. I ain't goin' to run around here fiashin' a tin badge an' shoutin' out loud that I am a Federal Agent. I am goin' to check in at the Miranda House Hotel, an' I'm going to keep up the front that I am from Magdalena, Mexico, that I come here to tip Sagers off about comn' into the money, an' that I am goin' to stick around here for a bit an' take a little vacation.

  "Tomorrow night I am going out to this Hacienda Altmira. I am goin' to get next to these guys. If they want to play faro, then I'm playin'. I'm goin' to get next to this Henrietta dame an' stick around until I find out what the hell this dame is playin' at an' whether she is on the up an' up or is just another female chiseller who has tried to pull a fast one.

  "I gotta find out who bumped Sagers an' why. I gotta try an' get next to somethin' solid about these phoney Bonds, because, right now, it looks as if nothin' makes sense."

  "OK by me," he says. "An' I reckon you don't want me or the boys interferin' around at the Hacienda?"

  "You're dead right," I say. "Say, is this place as lousy as they say?"

  He shrugs.

  "It's just one of them places," he says. "We've had plenty complaints from guys who've lost their dough there. Gamblin's illegal an' we put up a raid now an' then just to amuse the children, but what's the use of tryin' to stop people playin' faro or shootin' crap for big dough if they're built that way? Ten months ago some guy is found out on the desert away back of the Hacienda. He'd been clubbed till he looked like a map of Europe an' he was good an' dead. Plenty people said he'd been done at the Hacienda after they took him for his dough, an' I tried all I knew to get a case goin' but I couldn't make it, I couldn't prove a thing."

  "OK, Chief," I say an' I shake hands. "Now I reckon I ain't comm' to see you any more. It's no good you an' me being seen around together. But if I want to contact you I'll call you. If you want me I'm at the Miranda House an' I'll be using the name of Frayme - Selby T. Frayme of Magdalena, Mexico."

  I scram. I get the car an' drive over to the Miranda House an' check in. Then I go up to my room an' drink some coffee an' read the three letters again. But I still can't make any sense outa this thing.

  One little thing is sorta stickin' around in my mind an' that is this. I would very much like to know who the guy was who sent me that anonymous letter sayin' I should find these three letters out here at Henrietta's dump. I wanta know who this guy was, an' I am goin' to guess once an' take a shade of odds that I am right. The only guy mixed up in this business who mighta known that I was stayin' on East 30th Street would be Langdon Burdell, Granworth Aymes' secretary, an' maybe I am goin' to talk cold turkey to this guy pretty soon.

  But even if it was him, how did he know that the letters would be out here at the rancho? An' how did he know that Henrietta had taken 'em?

  Another thing is that I have always found this ferretin' out business comes hard. Nothin' in this 'G' game is easy. An' I found them letters too darn easy. Maybe I was meant to find 'em.

  I go to bed because, as I have told you before, I am a great believer in sleep. If the tough guys an' dames was to stay in bed more instead of rootin' around raisin' hell generally, 'G' men could take time out for eatin' cream puffs.

  I am wonderin' what this dame Henrietta is like. They say she is one swell baby. Well, I hope they are right, because if I have gotta pinch a dame I would as soon pinch one who is easy to look at.

  You're tellin' me!

  CHAPTER 3

  HENRIETTA

  NEXT DAY I just stick around. In the afternoon I ease along to the telegraph office an' I send a code wire to the "G" Office in New York askin' them to let me have a list of the servants an' people employed by Granworth Aymes at the time of his suicide an' their locations right now, that is if they can find 'em out.

  I have got a sorta hunch about this Aymes suicide. It looks to me like there is something screwy about it, an' if I can dig up anything that is goin' to help me along, then I reckon I am goin' to dig.

  The main difference between the sorta things that you read about in detective fiction an' the things that happen in real life is that the real life things is always a dum sight more strange than the ones in the book. No writin' guy ever had the nerve to write a story that he knew was true-nobody woulda believed him; but in the books there is always a bunch of clues that the crook leaves lyin' about just like they was banana skins for the dick to slip up on.

  Me - I always follow my nose an' just go right ahead. That's my system. I don't believe what anybody tells me on a case till I've checked on it, an' even then, like as not, I still don't believe 'em.

  One snag is that the New York coroner who was responsible for the inquest says that Granworth Aymes committed suicide, and it ain't any business of mine to go gumshoein' around bustin' that verdict wide open unless it's got some direct bearin' on the counterfeit business. You gotta realise that I am a Federal Agent an' it is not my business to check up on police work or try an' prove that they are wrong - not unless I have got to.

  At the same time I reckon that I will do some delvin' because it stands to reason that the counterfeitin' of these Dollar Bonds mighta been done in more than one way. First of all somebody might have pinched the original certificates an' substituted the counterfeit ones after they had been handed over to Henrietta Aymes. This coulda been done without Granworth knowin' anything about it, or else it coulda been arranged by him an' done with his knowledge, although where this woulda got him I don't know.

  Then Henrietta mighta got the counterfeit stuff made after Aymes was dead, thinkin' that she had a better chance of passin' it than anybody els
e just because everybody knew that Aymes had given her the regular bonds. But even if this was so you woulda thought she wouldn't have been such a mug as to try an' push one over on a bank. Anybody will cash a Registered Dollar Bond if they've got the money, an' there was plenty of other places she coulda tried first

  Supposin' that she is tryin' a fast one. Well, where are the original certificates an' who's got 'em?

  I can't help thinkin' back of my head that there is some connection between the counterfeitin' business an' this schrnozzle that is goin' on between Henrietta an' Granworth over this woman just before he dies. It also looks very screwy that Henrietta was aimin' to go an' see him on the day that he bumped himself off; an' here is another littie thing that I cannot understand: - The New York police told me that at the inquest on Aymes, Burdell, his secretary, an' the other servants workin' in the Aymes' apartment all said that Mrs Aymes was away in Connecticut until after the suicide, when Burdell sent her a wire an' she came back pronto so's to be at the funeral.

  Anyway, I reckon that I will take a look at this Henrietta as soon as I can, an' maybe she an' me can do a little talkin' an' see if we can get some of this business straightened out.

  Sittin' on the veranda outside my bedroom window, drinkin' a mint julep, I get to thinkin' about Sagers. I am tryin' to find some reason why some guy shoulda bumped him off. Nobody could know that there was any connection between Sagers an' me, an' the act we put on at the Hacienda Altmira the night he got his was watertight. Nobody woulda suspected that he was reportin' to me while he was doin' that big makin' friends act.

  So it looks to me like somebody out at the Hacienda thought that Sagers knew a durn sight more than he did, an' when he blew along an' said that he had come into this money an' was scrammin' they thought they'd better make a certainty of him an' give him the heat. Even so I reckon he was shot in a funny sorta way.

  The way he was lyin' on those stairs looked to me that he was comm' down 'em when he was shot. There was a powder burn round one of the bullet holes where he was shot in the stomach an' that particular shot was fired at pretty close range-about four feet away I should think.