Dames Don’t Care

by Peter Cheyney

  I get in the car an' start off. I reckon I have gotta move plenty quick otherwise some of Daredo's pals may get around an' find him an' he might decide to start something else. I would like to take this Luis Daredo along too, but you gotta realise that this guy is a Mexican an' I do not want to start any complications, so I reckon I will take a chance about him not startin' anything when I have gone.

  I tread on it an' get ahead as fast as I can. I pull on to the main road leadin' to the State intersection an' pretty soon we pass the spot where Luis is lyin' in the cactus without any pants. I take a peek behind an' look at Paulette. She sees him too, an' in spite of everythin' she has to smile. That guy certainly did look a sight.

  After a bit the road gets better an' we whiz, an' pretty soon we pull on to the State road to Yuma.

  The day has started an' the sun is comin' up. I start singin' Cactus Lizzie which, as I have told you before, is a song that I am very partial to.

  I reckon that I have got to do a hundred an' fifty miles to Yuma, an' I wanta do it quick.

  There are two-three things that I have gotta fix down there pronto, because if the ideas that I have got in my head are right there is plenty goin' to start happenin'.

  I light myself a cigarette, an' I throw a look over my shoulder at Paulette. She is lyin' back in the seat with her hands, with the steel bracelets on 'em, in her lap.

  "One for me, Lemmy," she says, smilin'.

  I light a cigarette an' lean back an' put it in her mouth. She nods her head. I turn around again.

  "You know, Lemmy," she says after a bit. "Aren't you taking a bit of a chance? I imagine you are holding me as a material witness, but I have yet to know the authority on which a Federal Agent can handcuff and take an American woman out of Mexican territory just because he thinks that she may have important evidence. Because that's all you've got on me. I'm just a material witness. You can't bring charges against me for attempting to shoot you, because I'm entitled to shoot any man I find in my house at night."

  She takes a puff at her cigarette.

  "I think that I'm going to make things very difficult for you, Lemmy," she says.

  I look at her over my shoulder.

  "Look, Paulette," I say. "You can take a pull at yourself an' don't talk hooey. I don't give a durn about your takin' a shot at me. An' I ain't takin' you back as a material witness or anything else like that, so don't start tellin' yourself what you're goin' to do to me, because you're takin' yourself for a ride, honeybunch, an' I'd hate to see you disappointed."

  "I see," she says. "Then if I'm not a material witness, an' you're forgetting about the shooting, may I be so curious as to ask just for what you are taking me somewhere for?"

  "OK, honey," I tell her. "Here it is. I'm takin' you back to Palm Springs just because I wanta take you there, an' when I get you there I'm chargin' you with first-degree murder."

  I give her another cigarette over my shoulder.

  "I'm chargin' you with the murder of Granworth Aymes on the night of the 12th January," I tell her, "an' how do you like that?"

  CHAPTER 12

  HOOEY FOR TWO

  IT Is eleven o'clock at night when I pull the car up outside Metts' house in Palm Springs.

  Paulette seemsta have settled down a bit. She has also got the idea that she is gain' to make a big sap outa me before she is through.

  I stuck around at Yuma for a coupla hours because I wanted to telephone through to Metts an' tell him one or two things so that he wouldn't be too surprised when I showed up an' I also had a spot of business to do over the 'phone with the Mexican authorities at Mexicali an' another spot with the New York Office. I stuck around there for a bit so's Paulette could get her hair done, an' also so that we shouldn't arrive at Metts' place at Palm Springs before night because I have got an idea that I don't want anybody to see Paulette. I am goin' to keep her nice an secret for a bit.

  I hand her over to Metts in his sittin' room.

  "This is Paulette Benito," I tell him, "an' I am chargin' her with first-degree murder of Granworth Aymes. I'd be glad if you'd book her on that an' hold her pendin' extradition to the State of New York. I think that maybe two or three days in the lock-up here would do this dame a quite lotta good. It might sorta get her mind nice an' peaceful so's she feels like talkin'."

  "That's OK by me," says Metts.

  He rings the bell an' tells a cop to get through to the Police Office an' have a sergeant take Paulette along an' book her. He says that she is to be held incommunicado pendin' further instructions.

  Paulette just stands there. She is lookin' fine. She has got her hair done very nice like I told you at Yuma, an' she has got a swell suit on an' ruffles. She looks like she would have to take two bites to eat a lump of butter.

  She smiles at me an' Metts.

  "Very well," she says. "You have it your own way now, Lemmy, but believe me I'm going to make the Federal Service too hot to hold you before I'm through with you. And I insist on a lawyer. I'm entitled to one and I'm going to have one. Any objections, or are you going to twist the legal constitution of the United States to suit yourself?"

  "That's OK by me, Paulette," I tell her. "Mr Metts here will get a good lawyer sent around to you in the morning. An' then what? I reckon you an' him can have a great time together while you tell him how you didn't kill Granworth. But you ain't goin' to be sprung. You ain't goin' to get no bail or get outside the lock-up until I say so, so you can bite on that an' like it."

  She smiles at me. She shows her little white teeth an' I don't reckon I have ever seen such pretty teeth except maybe Henrietta's.

  The copper comes in to take her.

  "Au revoir, Lemmy," she says. "What a cheap fiatfoot you are! You didn't really think that I'd fallen for you, did you?"

  "Me - I never think at all where dames are concerned," I crack back at her. "I just let them do the thinkin'. Well, so long, Paulette. Don't do anything that you wouldn't like your mother to know about."

  The copper takes her away.

  I tell Metts just as much of the works as I want him to know, an' I tell him just how I am goin' to play this thing from now on. Metts is a good guy, an' he has got brains, an' he sees that what I am doin' is the only way to play this job. So he cuts in an' says I can rely on him the whole durn way.

  After which he gives me a wire that has come through from the 'G' Office in New York.

  An' when I read it do I get a kick or do I?

  I told you that I sent a wire to the New York 'G' Office before I went inta Mexico. In this wire I sent 'em a list of the clothes that Henrietta was wearin' on the night of the 12th January when she went into New York to see Granworth, an' I asked the New York Office to check up with the maid Marie Dubuinet and the night watchman an' ask 'em if they could identify these clothes as bein' Henrietta's. Well, here is the reply:

  Reference your wire. The maid Marie Dubuinet now employed by Mrs John Viaford, New York, definitely identified clothes as being part of outfit packed by her for Mrs Henrietta Aymes when proceeding to Hartford, Connecticut stop. James Fargal night watchman at Cotton's Wharf identified hat and fur coat as being those worn by the woman who got out of the car which afterwards drove over wharf edge with Granworth Aynzes in driving seat stop. Both these identifications absolutely positive.

  So there you are, an' I reckon that I have now got Henrietta placed in this job all right, an' I guess that when I have told this sweet dame just what I am goin' to tell her within the next few hours then maybe she is goin' to get such a surprise that she will not be quite certain as to whether she is standin' on her arm or her elbow.

  It is now twelve o'clock an' Metts an' I go into a huddle an' we work out just what we're goin' to do now. Metts asks me if I was serious when I said that he could get a lawyer for Paulette next mornin', an' I say I do not mind if she has twenty-five lawyers because I reckon that when I'm through with her she won't even need one of 'em.

  I then have a drink with him after which I go
down an' get into the car an' start off for the Hacienda Altmira. It is a swell night an' while I am drivin' along I get to thinkin' what a lot has happened since the first time I was on this road. Life's a funny thing whichever way you look at it or even if you don't look at it.

  Pretty soon at the end of the main street I come to the Hot Dog dump. I get out, go inside an' get myself a cup of coffee. The two swell wise-crackin' dames in their white coats are still issuin out the eats an' the old dame they call 'Hot Dog Annie,, just as high as she was on the first night I saw her, is sittin down at a table eatin' a hot dog with the tears runnin' down her face.

  The redheaded dame looks at me with glowin' eyes.

  ''Gee, Mr Caution,'' she says, ''we was tickled silly when we heard you was a 'G' man. We remembered the first night you came in here an' started pullin' a lotta stuff on us that you came from Magdalena in Mexico. Gee, it must be a swell job bein' a 'G' man."

  I drink my coffee.

  "It ain't so bad, honey," I say, "an' then again it ain't so good. But you be careful or else I might get after you."

  I give her a naughty look.

  "Yeah?" she says, "I reckon I wouldn't mind. I guess it wouldn't be so bad bein' pinched by a guy like you."

  "That's as may be, honey," I say, "but the sorta pinch I got in mind for you is one that you do with your fingers! I'll be seem' you."

  I finish my coffee an' I go on my way. Drivin' along the desert road I get to thinkin' about Henrietta. I wonder how she has liked stickin' around the Hacienda under the supervision of Periera. I remember how she went for me the last time I saw her down at the police station when I got the description of her clothes from her an' when I wouldn't let her smoke. I reckon I ain't goin' so good with Henrietta, which makes me grin a bit more. Another thing is I think that before I'm through with her tonight she's goin' to hate me worse than I was poison. Still I have had dames dislike me before now.

  Pretty soon the Hacienda comes in sight. The neon lights outside are twinklin', but there is only a few cars around. It looks like they are havin' an off night. I park the car an' walk in the front entrance an' standin' by a hat room on the right talkin' to the dame who checks in the hats is Periera. He grins when he sees me.

  "Buenos noches, Senor Caution," he says. "I am ver' glad to see you some more. Everytheeng has been very quiet around here, and the Senora Aymes - eef you want to see her you find her up een the card room."

  "That's swell," I tell him. "You're a good guy, Periera, an' I reckon you've been useful to me. Maybe I'll find some way of makin' it up to you."

  "They are all up there, senor," he says, "Fernandez, and Maloney-the whole lot of them. But don't you pay for any drinks. Anytheeng you have here is, what you call, on the house."

  I go into the dance room. There are not many people there an' the band is sittin' around lookin' like bands always do when there ain't nobody to listen to 'em. I walk across the floor an' I start goin' up the steps that lead to the balcony.

  When I have walked up a few steps I remember that this is the place where I found Sagers' silver shirt tassel. I stop for a minute and look around.

  You remember I told you that this balcony runs right round the wall of the Hacienda Altmira. It is about eighteen to twenty feet off the ground. At the top of the stone steps where I'm standin' is the card room. Next to it way down the balcony is the room where Henrietta took Maloney after Fernandez had socked him one. Farther down in the corner is another room an' there are two more rooms leadin' off the balcony on my right-hand side.

  I go up the stairs an' inta the card room. There are about twelve people in there. Fernandez an' Maloney an' four other guys are playin' poker at the centre table, an' the rest of 'em includin' Henrietta are standin' around watchin'.

  When I go in Henrietta looks up. She sees me an' I give her a grin. Her face freezes an' she turns her back on me.

  "Well, well, well, Henrietta," I say to her, "you don't meanta say you ain't goin' to say good-evenin' to your old friend Lemmy?"

  "I've told you what I think of you," she says, "and I'll thank you not to talk to me. I hate the sight of cheap policemen."

  "That's OK by me, baby," I tell her. "Maybe before I'm through with you you're goin' to hate the sight of 'em some more, an' if I was you, Henrietta," I go on, "I wouldn't get too fresh because I can make things plenty tough for you."

  There is a sorta silence. The guys playin' poker have stopped. Everybody is lookin' at Henrietta an' me.

  Maloney gets up.

  "Say listen, Caution," he says. "I reckon you've got your job to do, but there's two ways of doin' it, an' even if you are a Federal Agent you don't have to get rough with Mrs Aymes."

  "You don't say," I tell him. "OK. Well, if you want it that way, you have it. Fernandez," I say, turnin' to him where he is sittin' shufflin' the cards through his hands an' grinnin', "I guess you can do somethin' for me. Downstairs outside you will find a coupla State policemen. Bring 'em up here, will you?"

  "OK," says Fernandez.

  He gets up an' he goes outa the room. Maloney looks serious.

  "What's the matter, Caution?" he says. "You goin' to make a pinch?"

  "Well, what do you think, Maloney?" I tell him. "That's my business, makin' pinches. What do you think I've been kickin' around here for gain' into this an' that if I wasn't goin' to pinch somebody sometime?"

  He don't say nothin', but he looks very serious. I give myself a cigarette an' while I am lightin' it the door opens. Fernandez an' Periera come in, an' behind 'em are two State cops, the guys who have been waitin' downstairs for me like I fixed with Metts. There is a helluva lotta atmosphere in this room. Everybody is waitin' for somethin' to break. There is a little sorta smile about Fernandez' face as he sits down at the table again an' starts runnin' the cards through his fingers. I turn around to Henrietta.

  "Mrs Henrietta Aymes," I tell her, "I am a Federal Agent an' I'm arrestin' you on a charge of murderin' your husband - Granworth Aymes - on the night of January 12th last at Cotton's Wharf, New York City. I'm also arrestin' you on a charge of causin' to be made an' attemptin' to circulate two hundred thousand dollars' worth of counterfeit Registered United States Dollar Bonds, an' I am handin' you over to the Chief of Police here at Palm Springs to be booked on those charges an' held pendin' extradition for trial in the State of New York."

  I turn around to the cops.

  "OK, boys," I say. "Take her away."

  Henrietta don't say a thing. She is as white as death an' I can see her lips tremblin'. Maloney steps forward an' takes her by the arm. Then he turns to me.

  "Say, this is tough, Caution," he says. "This ain't so good. I thought...

  "Impossible," I tell him, "you ain't got anythin' to think with. But if you want to be the little hero you can go back to Palm Springs with Henrietta."

  "Thanks," he says, "I'd like to do that."

  He goes out with Henrietta an' the cops go after 'em. I turn around to Periera.

  "I wanta talk to you an' Fernandez," I say, "so I reckon you'd better close this dump down an' get these people outa here, an' you two go back to your office where we can sorta discuss things over."

  Periera an' Fernandez an' the other guys go outa the room. After a minute downstairs I can hear people packin' up an' clearin' out. I go over to the sideboard an' I give myself a shot of bourbon. I stick around for about ten minutes, an' then Periera comes back an' says everything is OK. He says would I like to go along to his office, we can talk easier there. I follow after him along the balcony, an' we go into his room. Fernandez is sittin' at the table drinkin' a highball an' smokin' a cigarette. He looks up as we go in.

  "Well, Mr Caution," he says, "it's turned out the way I thought it was going to turn out. I always knew she done it. Have a drink?"

  I tell him yes. Periera hands me a cigarette an' lights it for me.

  "I reckon I have played it the only way I could play it," I tell 'em. "It's stickin' outa foot to me that this dame Henrietta was
the woman who got outa that car, started it up again an' sent it over the edge of the wharf, but I wasn't certain of that till tonight. I got a wire from New York tonight that tells me that the maid Marie Dubuinet an' the night watchman on Cotton's Wharf identified them clothes she was wearin'. That's good enough for me an' it ties the job up."

  "An' you reckon she done the counterfeitin'?" asked Fernandez.

  "No," I say, "she didn't do it, but she got somebody else to do it for her. Who that is I don't know, but maybe when I talk to her tomorrow mornin' down at the jail, she'll feel inclined to do a little real talkin'. Maybe she can make it a bit easier for herself."

  Fernandez gets up an' pours himself out another highball. This guy is lookin' pretty well pleased with himself.

  "I'm surely sorry for that dame," he says. "I reckon that she has got herself inta a bad jam, an' one that'll take a lotta brains to get her out of."

  "You're tellin' me," I say, "but you never know where you are with dames. Say listen, Fernandez," I go on, "what was the big idea in you callin' yourself Fernandez an' comm' out here after Aymes died?"

  He looks up an' grins.

  "I hadta do something," he says, "an' I'd met Periera here, before, when I was out here a year ago drivin' Aymes. An' I call myself Fernandez because it don't sorta hurt so much as my real name - Termiglo."

  He gives me a fresh sorta look.

  "Anything else you'd like to know?" he says.

  "Yeah," I tell him. "The night Aymes died you wasn't on duty, was you?"

  He stubs out his cigarette.

  "No, I wasn't," he said. "I was just stickin' around. So what?"

  "Oh, nothin'," I tell him, "but I thought that maybe you could let me know where you was. I suppose you musta spent the evenin' somewhere an' I suppose that somebody musta seen you."

  He laughs.

  "Sure," he says. "If you gotta know I took Henrietta's maid, Marie, to the movies. I didn't know I hadta have an alibi."