So Different

by Robinson, Ruthie

  “It’s a great day. Want to walk?” she asked.

  “Sure.”

  They set off, exchanging mostly small talk on the way. At the restaurant they placed their orders and found a table outside. Tiffany took a seat, admiring Adam up close. She was interested, but he hadn’t been the night of the derby. He seemed to have been preoccupied that night with that skater or more like entranced with her body. She’d watched his eyes as they soaked up the skater who was basically naked, half dressed on a good day. Women like her were good for some things, but not the kind that lasted.

  She’d waited a while before getting in touch with Michael. She didn’t want to seem too aggressive, because sometimes you needed to play it cool. She’d read the rulebook. She knew how to run a game.

  “The food here is good. Thank you,” she said to Adam, as he set her taco salad down before her. He had gotten the lunch special—enchiladas and something heavy was the only way she knew to describe it.

  “So how is working at your dad’s office?” she asked, running a hand through her hair. She flipped it—a maneuver she had mastered by age ten—tilting her head to the side, giving him her best whatever-you-say-is-gold look. She added a little bit of sexiness, not a lot, just a little—just enough to entice.

  “It’s good. Busy,” he said.

  “Been back to the derby?” she asked.

  “Yeah, I have. It’s an interesting sport.”

  “It is,” she said, tilting her head again.

  “Have you been anywhere else since you’ve been home?” she asked.

  “Not really,” he said.

  “I’ve got to get you out then,” she said and proceeded to bring him up to speed on the nightlife, sporting events, and all things entertainment in Austin. He listened as she went on and on, caught himself checking his watch twice.

  What had he been thinking, going to lunch with her? Mariah had the I-want-more look in her eyes now. He knew it was all a matter of time before she brought up the where-are-we-going question. He’d been there before with many a woman, many times before Jamie, and he wasn’t ready to go there again. What to do with Mariah? He didn’t want to stop seeing her, but he didn’t want another relationship.

  He looked up. Tiffany had gotten quiet. He hadn’t heard a word she’d said.

  “Sorry,” he said and smiled. “Work,” he added, to explain his lack of attention.

  “I understand. You’ve been filling in for your dad. That can be hard,” she said. They spent the last few minutes talking about his plans; he didn’t have any, but was content to play dentist here for a while. They put their trays away and walked back. At the door to his office building she gave him her card, her cell number on the back. He gave her his number, watching as she inputted it into her cell.

  “Call me. Maybe we can catch a movie soon,” she said.

  “Sure,” he replied, watching her walk away. Okay so he had developed a fondness for Mariah—thought she was fun and funny, but that didn’t mean he wanted her in his life more. He turned and went inside. Work beckoned.

  * * *

  “ENJOYED LUNCH,” he read in his text from Tiffany. That was quick.

  “ME 2,” he typed.

  “CALL ME,” she responded.

  “I WILL,” he texted back.

  He would ask her out soon, he decided while sitting in his office. He was also trying to decide if he should go to practice tonight. Mariah had fallen for him, he could tell, and it was forcing him to re-evaluate his relationship with her again. They’d moved on after her questions that night, proceeded as if nothing had been discussed between them since then, both doing their usual routines. She left for home around midnight and he let her leave.

  It was so much simpler this way. No expectations other than sex, derby talk, and watching TV. Why did it have to change?

  He didn’t want to let her go, which was worrisome in and of itself. Something that had started out as simple sex was coming to mean more to him. So he decided to skip practice tonight, rationalizing his guilt away. His skipping tonight would be a good thing for them both. It would show her what she would miss if she continued to push while simultaneously letting her know that he wasn’t serious about her.

  He’d go by and have dinner with his parents instead. He hadn’t been over in a while. Hell, they were gone most times now, one trip after another. His dad was really taking advantage of his time off, hanging out with his other dental retiree brothers. Having settled on his evening plans, Adam called his parents.

  * * *

  “He’s not coming?” Lisa asked.

  Mariah shrugged. “We don’t have any commitments. If he stops by and I want to go, we go,” she said, trying to make light of what his not showing up meant. She had laughed, joked, and been her normal self at practice, or at least she hoped she had. But her glances at the door, no matter how well camouflaged, hadn’t escaped her team’s notice. They offered up varying looks of pity. She hated that.

  Later on after practice she made her way to her car, slowly, her delay giving him one final time to show. He hadn’t, and she wondered how to interpret his actions. This was the first time she actually wished she could call him; maybe she should stop by his house. She debated with herself for ten minutes before finally starting her car and driving home.

  * * *

  The following night Adam and Michael sat in a booth at one of the higher-end bars. He’d wanted a break from women, any woman, so he’d agreed to meet Michael for drinks. Jamie would have been right at home here. He used to be, too. This place wasn’t as loud as Pinky’s. It wasn’t as rough, either; it was full of wine, imported beer, cocktails, and impeccably groomed women in heels and short, expensive dresses. He knew the type, dated it often. It was so very different from Mariah.

  “So have you heard from Tiff?” Michael asked.

  “Yes. She came by the office Tuesday. We walked down to the taco place on the corner for lunch.”

  “She must really like you. She’s not your tacos-on-the-corner type of female,” he said.

  Adam didn’t reply.

  “How’s our derby girl? Maybe the better question is how is her hip?” he asked, laughing. “She is something,” he added.

  “Yes, she is,” he said.

  “So…”

  “So nothing… we’re just kicking it, hanging out, keeping it simple,” he said.

  Michael nodded. “Is it going to interfere with Tiff?”

  Adam shrugged. “You know I’m really not ready for more with anyone, right? Tiff, Mariah, anyone—and I think Tiff is looking for marriage,” he said.

  “Maybe, maybe not.” Michael laughed at Adam’s look of skepticism. “Okay, she’s approaching the ‘marriageable’ deadline,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. “You two could hang out with us. I’m still dating her cousin.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Maybe. We grew up together. I could do worse,” he said.

  “Take it from me, dude, worse is not what you should be considering in a wife. Trust me on that one.”

  “You should call Tiff anyway. What do you have to lose? She is a nice woman, good job, good family, comes from money; all the things you used to admire. Forget Jamie—one fluke—don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Don’t forget you want to be with someone that has the same values as you, same likes, same dislikes, same goals,” he said.

  “So how about you? How’s work? Heard you’ve opened up a new shop,” Adam said, turning the conversation to another topic besides women. Michael started in with his business and Adam sat back and listened. Michael owned a chain of cell phone repair shops; had started it in college, working out of the dorm, and it had now expanded to three, or was it four, shops in the city.

  * * *

  Second week in June

  Adam sat alone at the corner Taco Post for lunch the following day. He looked at his cell, responding to the ding that indicated he’d received a text. He scanned the message. It was from Tiff. Not surprised. She h
ad texted him often since their lunch date.

  “DINNER TONIGHT?” it read.

  He thought about it for a second, about today being Thursday, his normal day for Mariah, and decided to skip practice again. He typed in YES, WHERE? before he could change his mind. THE ITALIAN EATERY, she responded. He knew the place, downtown. She texted that she’d meet him there after work for dinner.

  THAT WORKS, he typed and sat back, regretting it already. Mariah still bothered him. He should stop seeing her, but he wasn’t ready to yet. He just needed a little space to try to see if she was something he could pass on. His alarm sounded and he headed back to the office.

  * * *

  He went home after work to shower and quickly changed into something more appropriate for dinner and drinks. He was out the door thirty minutes later. He entered the popular restaurant with its black and white tiled floor and lots of hip red, green, and black furnishings. What was up with women and expensive restaurants? Why did it have to be all chrome and a white tablecloth before it was considered a date; the better question was why was he bothered about it now?

  He located Tiff, sitting alone at the bar, her profile nice. She was dressed simply and what he knew women considered elegantly. Plain was the way his sister viewed it, but she was into tight and bold, as she liked to describe herself.

  “How many in your party?” a young woman asked. She was polished to perfection.

  “Two, but I see her sitting at the bar,” he said.

  “Would you like to eat there? Shorter wait time,” she said.

  “Okay, sure. I may come back if we change our minds,” he said.

  “Sure,” she said and gave him a smile.

  He walked over to Tiff, who glanced up as he approached.

  “Hey,” she said, her smile wide. She was a very pretty woman, he mused, really noticing her for the first time. “Glad you could make it,” she added.

  “Do you mind if we eat at the bar? The wait here can be really tiresome,” she asked.

  “No, not at all,” he said, and took the seat next to her. She moved her purse to the floor.

  “What would you like to drink?” she asked.

  “A glass of wine, same as you, is fine,” he said.

  He watched her order another glass for him and glanced over at her, impressed. “So how was your day?” she asked.

  “Fine. You?”

  “Fine.”

  “Tell me what it is you do again?” he asked.

  “I work for the state. Accounting. I prepare the budget for the state.”

  “Sounds cushy and safe,” he said. “Safe in a good way. You’ll always have a job.”

  “It used to be, but nobody’s safe anymore. I’ve managed to survive. My job is demanding, particularly before a legislative session where the state’s budget has to be approved,” she said. He nodded, trying to recall his state’s civics course.

  “I’ve spent many a late night preparing for a legislative session. Long hours, aren’t bad while you’re single, but not so much when you have kids,” she said. “I hope to stay home after I get married and have children.”

  “That’s good,” he said. They ordered dinner and he asked her a few questions. He listened, managing to avoid answering most of her probing, personal questions. They finished their drinks and moved on to dinner. They were now sitting drinking coffee and sharing a dessert, which he mostly ate. She’d taken a couple of small bites. He’d checked his watch often; inconspicuously he hoped. It was near 10:00, and Mariah would be long gone by now. He turned his attention back in to Tiff, working to stay tuned into her.

  * * *

  Mariah stood near the counter. It was 10:00 p.m. Closing time. After Adam hadn’t showed, she didn’t feel like going home, so she decided to stop in and talk to her brother, see if he’d gotten any of his waitresses to quit. She was feeling bummed at not seeing Adam. It had been a week, and she was trying to figure out what his absences were telling her. Hell, as if she didn’t know.

  “Mariah.”

  She turned and walked over to Joshua, who stood at the register.

  “Time to close. Lock the door for me,” he said, moving his fingers over the register, opening the money drawer. He’d take it back to his office, count it, and get it ready for deposit in the morning.

  “What are you doing here, anyway?” he asked in his way of getting directly to the heart of anything. “Isn’t this your night to hang out with the dentist?”

  “He had something else to do tonight,” she said.

  “Sorry. It’s been a long time, since high school, that you were really interested in a guy.”

  “It hasn’t been that long, and it’s nothing,” she said.

  “It has to be something. You’ve been seeing him for what, two months now? And I’m hurt that you haven’t introduced him to me.”

  “It’s not serious. I only save the serious ones for you.”

  “Then you are in a drought, seriously. I can’t remember the last time you introduced anyone to me. You need to get out more.”

  “When do I have time for that? It’s you, the derby, you, the restaurant, my day job…”

  “Those are all your choices.”

  “You are not a choice. What am I supposed to do, not help you?”

  “You’re making time for him. You make time for what’s important to you,” he said.

  “And you’re what’s important to me, my numero one priority. And why the lecture, anyway?” she said, still standing at the front door.

  “You’ve done enough for me. You need to do something for you, for your life.”

  “Not this conversation again. I’m happy with where I am, all right. I’ve got you, my friends, my job. What else is there?”

  “A man to share your life with would be a start.”

  “This from the man who hasn’t met a woman he didn’t want to sleep with and then send on her way. Women live out perfectly good lives without men in them, every day. Did you know that?”

  “It’s you we’re discussing, and you want something different than me, so don’t change the subject. And I had that, once. Sarah was the one that checked out, remember? But that’s neither here nor there. That’s me, my story. It doesn’t have to be yours,” he said, closing the drawer of the register.

  “It’s the same. People are the same,” she said. “There are lots of Sarahs in the world, and not all of them are female. The ones who only signed up to love the dream. Adam’s probably a lot more like Sarah, wanting to marry the pretty picture. His last fiancée was very beautiful, very socially acceptable, and that’s not me. At all. So, beyond Tuesday and Thursday, I don’t much think he’s interested in more. I know that. That’s why I don’t bring anyone to meet you. The ones I want don’t want me. You don’t remember high school, when I was always the odd girl out. And I still am.”

  “You don’t have to be.”

  “Yeah, I do. It’s me, the odd one out. I can’t change that. I’d better go help Jacob in the back,” she said, pushing away from the door.

  “Think about giving the dentist a try. That is all I’m saying. See if you and he don’t have something more than sex in common,” he said.

  “Sure,” she said, walking toward the back.

  “Mariah,” he said.

  “Hey, I’m not the problem. I’m willing to try. Just don’t think he will be,” she said.

  Joshua listened to her steps as she walked away from him. Mariah’s head was as hard as stone sometimes. He moved over to find his cane, which was hanging on the wall next to the register. He grabbed it, tucked the cash drawer under one arm, and made his way to his office down the hall.

  * * *

  Third week in June

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Good & Plenty said as they watched Adam walk in to practice the following Tuesday night. Of course all of the women were standing next to her, and those that weren’t skated over quickly. The girls against him. She appreciated them most times, now included, but
she also wished she’d been alone. She didn’t want anyone privy to her and him.

  “Yep,” she said, going for nonchalant.

  They all stood there and watched him as he took his usual seat near the door. Dee skated over to them. “Come on you bitches, no time for gawking. On the track. We’ve got work to do,” she barked out, giving Mariah a wink.

  Mariah was grateful for the start of practice. She would have loved to be here alone with him, to not have everyone and their opinion thrust into her decision. She turned and joined in with her teammates, tuned into the process of moving around the track. She had always loved to skate, to become lost in her own world, a break away from reality.

  Tonight’s practice was short since they were done with the season. Mariah skated a few more laps after practice, wanting her teammates to clear out before she had to face Adam. She wanted that meeting to be private.

  She walked over to sit, pulled off her skates, and pulled on her boots. She watched as he sat there watching her. She had no idea what he was thinking. She stood up, pulled her bag over her shoulder, and headed to the door.

  “Decided to come back?” she asked, stopping near him as he stepped up to meet her.

  “I did. I missed you,” he said, getting into step beside her as they made their way out into the night. It was silent between them as they made their way to Mariah’s car parked next to his.

  She unlocked her door, opened it, and threw in her bag.

  “Will you stop by?”

  She was silent for a minute, eyes trained on the ground, deciding. “Why should I?” she asked.

  He stepped closer to her and her eyes lifted to gaze into his. He leaned towards her, placed a kiss on her lips. His hand went to the back of her head, holding her in place as he kissed her deeply; she responded, as needy as he. A few minutes later he removed his hand and pulled back and they stood for a second, staring at each other.

  “Come by. I missed you,” he said and kissed her again.

  “I don’t know,” she said as she slid into her car, started her engine, and pulled away, watching him standing there as she drove away. God, what to do? She ran her hand over her face and sighed. She glanced in the rearview mirror and he was still watching. She would go home, shower, and then decide.