On The Way Down

by Fox, Ella

  Even with the hurried goodbyes we’d had to speed to the airport. First, we dropped Harry off at McCarran for his first-class flight back to LA. I was jealous that he got to fly on a regular-sized plane, and told him so. Knowing that I had to get back on the jet made me anxious, but not as bad as how I’d felt on the first flight. I took a nice deep breath of fresh air before I climbed that last step and went straight to my seat without looking around in order to avoid the walls-closing-in feeling, but it was a vast improvement from the Friday flight.

  Nolan chose to sit at the front by himself, mostly because he’d asked for a trash can to be left on the seat next to him just in case. Garrett and I sat in the same seats we’d occupied on the way to Vegas, which meant we were side by side. As soon as I was belted in, I blew out a breath and relaxed into the seat as I reminded myself that I’d be back on solid ground in about an hour.

  I tensed when the stairs were brought up, but I didn’t go into full-on panic mode. I stopped thinking about it entirely when Garrett reached out and took my hand in his. Just like the night before, our fingers intertwined as if they’d been created solely for that purpose.

  He looked watchful but relaxed when he smiled at me. The way he looked at me made my nipples harden, and my heartbeat quickened as well.

  “Good weekend?” he asked.

  I squeezed his hand and smiled back at him. “The best. I had such an amazing time. Thank you, Garrett.”

  “It was my pleasure,” he answered, his voice husky.

  We sat just like that, hands clasped, for the entirety of the flight. As each second passed, I grew a little more confident in Goldie’s certainty that Garrett had feelings for me. I just hoped those feelings would remain once the movie wrapped and we weren’t seeing each other every day.

  Chapter Fifteen

  July 1998

  “Look at you studying,” Jewel cackled. “You should put the book down and enjoy these last few hours of freedom, little girl. After tomorrow you’ll be out of a job, a Jaguar, and that pitiful little crush you’ve developed on the overgrown douchebag.”

  Her barbs hurt far more than they should have. After a summer of avoiding Jewel as much as possible, she was suddenly around far too much for comfort. Something had happened between her and Alan within the last ten days. I knew that for two reasons. One, because he wasn’t around, and two, because she would not stop asking me what I’d said to him. It bothered me that I was able to tell her, honestly, that I hadn’t said a word. I’d wanted to but had been too much of a goddamn coward.

  Whatever the reason behind their breakup, it had nothing to do with me. My bet was that he’d seen beyond her performance and had realized what a piece of shit she was. Jewel had a gift for lying but inevitably, she always showed her true colors. Cold-blooded predators could only hide their true nature for so long. Something always gave them way.

  I still talked to Alan frequently and he was as nice as ever, so whatever had happened hadn’t affected his opinion of me. At least there was that.

  It pained me not to tell Jewel to fuck off but I focused on the homework on the table in front of me and ignored her little jabs. I’d passed a few more classes and once I finished the paper I was working on, I’d only need four more to earn my diploma. That meant I’d need to see a guidance counselor at school in order to be transferred over to continuation school, something I was hoping I could do without Jewel getting involved. I’d be eighteen by the time school started up again so if all went as planned she wouldn’t realize until it was too late for her to stop it.

  I startled when Jewel slammed her hand on the table. “Don’t you dare ignore me!”

  Dammit, I thought, we’re really doing this. We’d been fighting like cats and dogs for months but this was next-level anger. I was stressed out enough about my life without her getting involved.

  Garrett had been acting weird for days and that wasn’t ideal considering I was already freaking out about losing him once filming wrapped. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at her. There were only ten more days until I’d be on the Santa Monica beach with Goldie and Tia. I could survive anything for ten days.

  “What can I do for you?” I asked, my voice as calm as I could make it.

  “We’re leaving bright and early Saturday morning. Have you been packing? Will you be ready to go?”

  I somehow managed not to roll my eyes. She already knew the answer to that. “Yes, I’ve been packing. Don’t worry, I’ll be ready to go.”

  “See to it that you are,” she hissed, “because I’d have no problem driving off and leaving you in this godforsaken hellhole.”

  My eye twitched as I glared up at her. Knowing that I wouldn’t get anything else done until after she went to bed, I shoved my work into my notebook and slammed it shut. Standing, I pushed in my chair.

  “Off to cry about how tough your life is?” she taunted.

  That was it—she’d hit my last nerve.

  “You know what, Jewel? You can take your terrible attitude and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. I only came here because you forced it, remember? If you’d like to leave me behind now, go right ahead. It’s not like I want to stay with you.”

  I saw the instant that she snapped because I knew that rabid everyone-must-suffer expression all too well. I started to back away, but I didn’t get far since she grabbed my arm and yanked me toward her. I instinctively tried to pull back, but she held firmer.

  “You ruined everything!” she bellowed.

  There was no time to respond. Between one breath and the next, she tackled me to the linoleum floor and punched me in the face. My arms moved frantically as I tried to knock her off me, but she was punching and slapping me so fast and so hard that I couldn’t get a hold of her.

  “What did you tell him? What did you tell him? What did you tell him?” she screamed.

  “I didn’t tell him anything! Get the hell off of me,” I yelled.

  She screeched something unintelligible as she fisted my hair, lifted my head, and slammed it into the floor. It was done with such force that I felt my brain rattle in my head. Understanding that I needed to do whatever it took to get away from her before she really hurt me, I brought my arm back, made a fist, and punched her in the face. I didn’t hold back even a little. She yowled in pain as she dropped to the floor beside me, cursing and yelling about how I’d regret ever putting a hand on her. By that point I was done. My head was pounding and my face felt like I’d fought Evander Holyfield. I wanted to leave but knew I couldn’t drive—not with the way my head felt. I hopped over her, raced up the stairs, and slammed and locked my bedroom door behind me.

  I could barely see the phone through my tears as I dialed Garrett. I didn’t care anymore about protecting Jewel—I just wanted out. He answered on the second ring, and when I told him I needed help, he lost it. I couldn’t even tell him the details because at that moment, Jewel started banging and kicking at my door.

  “Open this fucking door you little cunt!”

  “Please,” I whimpered into the phone. “She’s lost her mind.”

  “Don’t let her in,” he yelled. “I’m on my way.”

  I knew she’d break the door down long before he arrived—he was twenty minutes away, and even if he drove well over the speed limit, it would take at least ten. When she got into a rage, Jewel didn’t quit until she got what she wanted. She’d never attacked me as brutally as she had down in the kitchen, but then again, she’d never been that angry with me, either. My brain was foggy but I was with it enough to suspect that she was on something.

  I curled up in a ball against the door, hoping my weight would hold it. She just kept going, kick after ridiculous kick. All the while, she screamed and cursed about what she was going to do to me once she got the door open.

  “Just stop!” I croaked.

  “Fuck you!” she screamed before she kicked harder. “I know you ruined this for me you sniveling little bitch!”

  I heard commotion outside, followe
d by the sound of wood splitting. A few seconds later I heard Jewel scream, and then there was a thud. I figured it was Garrett, until I heard the word police. I listened as they cuffed her, and only moved when an officer knocked and told me everything was okay. I rose to my knees, opened the door, and then froze when I found four police officers staring down at me. The next thing I knew I was pitching forward face-first into a sea of darkness.

  * * *

  The feeling of something whisper-soft moving back and forth over the back of my hand woke me up. My mouth felt like I’d swallowed a pound of sand and something about the smell in the room turned my stomach. Opening my eyes, I turned my head and blinked dazedly as I tried to get my bearings. The white drop ceiling and tan walls with a horrific peach undertone were unbearably sterile. The fluorescent lights made everything too bright and I winced at the way it made my head throb.

  Reality hit me in waves. First, I realized I was in the hospital. Next, I remembered Jewel on top of me, landing blows on my face like a crazy person. I’d called Garrett and he’d clearly sent the police, but other than opening my bedroom door for them, I remembered nothing. When the soft sensation of something on my hand started again, I turned to my right and found Garrett seated on a chair at my side. His eyes were closed and his head was resting on the mattress up against my waist. He had a loose grip on my right hand and what I was feeling was his thumb drifting back and forth against my skin. I wanted to stay still and let him sleep, but I was so desperate for water that I had no choice. I’d barely moved before his head popped up. Eyes bleary with exhaustion, his face rigid with tension, he looked scared to death.

  “Fuck, baby,” he choked, “I’m so glad you’re awake.”

  I winced as I licked my lips. “Can I have some water?”

  He jumped up and ran around the bed to where a cart with a pitcher of water and a plastic cup sat. After he filled the cup up and put a straw in, he came back to my side and held it up to my lips.

  “I’m not sure you’re supposed to drink that much. You should probably slow down,” he cautioned.

  I didn’t care whether his advice was sound or not—I needed that water, so I drank the whole thing. I wanted more immediately but when I asked for more he told me to wait a few minutes to make sure I didn’t upset my stomach.

  I grumbled as he took the cup and set it down on another small table next to my bed. “Am I okay?” I asked.

  His eyes flashed with furious-looking fire. “Yes, but you’re damn lucky that’s the case. And frankly, so is Jewel. That bitch needs to be thanking her lucky stars this didn’t get any worse.”

  I’d never seen Garrett so intense about anything. He wasn’t just upset—he was furious. Since I didn’t know how to respond to what he'd said, I changed the subject.

  “How long was I out?”

  He looked at his watch and grimaced. “Two hours and fifteen minutes, give or take.”

  “Was I out because I have a concussion?”

  “They ran a ton of tests, and everything checks out. The doctor says you passed out because you were overwhelmed both physically and emotionally. The bruising on your arms and face is developing and will be worse in the morning, which is the primary issue right now. Other than that, you’re okay.”

  I couldn’t help wondering what had happened to the person responsible for my hospital stay.

  “Jewel?”

  Garrett’s jaw clenched. “She was arrested. I don’t know yet what will happen from here but they found a vial of cocaine in her pocket so I’m hoping to hell they’ll throw the book at her.”

  I’d sensed she was on something, so there was no surprise in finding out I’d been correct. As for the other, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to happen to her, but I knew we couldn’t live together again.

  “Why didn’t you tell me she was abusive?” he asked.

  I looked away. “It’s never been this bad before.”

  “She’s never touched you before?” he asked suspiciously.

  I grimaced. “I didn’t say that—I just said it never got this far. She used to get physical when she got angry but once I got big enough to fight back, she stopped. Tonight she brought it back with a vengeance and then took it to a whole other level.”

  If looks could’ve killed, Jewel would’ve been on fire in her cell. He looked like he wanted to snap her neck. “What about Goldie? Did she know any of this?”

  I shook my head. “No. Jewel was smart enough to control herself around Goldie and I didn’t want to rock the boat so I never said anything.”

  He looked relieved to hear that Goldie didn’t know, but he was clearly still livid about Jewel.

  “Goldie was stunned when I called and told her what happened—I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t selling me a line of bullshit. Whoever knew this and did nothing can go fuck themselves,” he spat. “If you ever went to school with bruising and it wasn’t reported, I want to know. Anyone who let you down will be dealt with by my lawyers.”

  I’d never seen Garrett angry. I was stunned by how angry he was on my behalf, but also touched by his level of concern for me.

  “There was no one. You know me, Garrett. I never wanted to draw attention to this.”

  He looked devastated. “I knew your relationship with her was bullshit,” he rasped. “I’ve known since the day in my Jeep when I realized you called her Jewel instead of Mom. When I addressed the issue head-on, you lied to me. I knew it, and you knew I wasn’t fooled. We should’ve talked about it long before now.”

  I sighed as I leaned back into the stiff hospital pillow behind my head. “Please don’t take it personally. The only person who knows the truth is Tia. Other than her, I kept it all locked up inside.”

  He frowned and shook his head. “You should have let people in. Thinking of you dealing with this on your own for all of these years makes me sick.”

  I reached out and set my hand on his arm. “If it had always been like this I would’ve reported her. If you believe nothing else, believe that. I wanted to go live with Goldie—I’d have turned Jewel in in a heartbeat, but nothing she did was enough to get me out from under her thumb.”

  He sighed as he took my hand from his arm and linked our fingers together. “You’re out from under it now,” he said.

  One way or the other, I definitely was. No matter what I had to do, I couldn’t live with Jewel again.

  “What happened when you talked to Goldie?” I asked.

  I hated that she’d been dragged into it. No matter what Jewel did, at the end of the day she was Goldie’s daughter. Although my grandmother had never, not even once, made me feel as if I was a problem, I didn’t believe her. The priority of any parent was their child—not their grandchild.

  “She was devastated,” Garrett answered bluntly. “She wanted to get into the car and come right then and there but I talked her out of it because it will be quicker—and safer—if she flies.” He looked down at his watch before he continued. “She’ll be here in about two hours. Getting an emergency pilot took Alan longer than he thought it would, but it’s still going to get her here quicker than if she had driven.”

  My stomach sank like a stone as the realization of how much a last-minute charter would have cost. A few days before I had come across the bill for the flights we’d taken the weekend of the Pearl Jam concert and the figure was astronomical. It was the equivalent of a full year of tuition at a university.

  “I hate that you felt like you had to do that,” I choked. “It’s too much money and I never want to be a burden.”

  “You aren’t a fucking burden,” he growled. “Besides—I’m not the one paying for it.”

  Unless she cashed in a big chunk of her savings or sold the house in an hour, there was no way in hell Goldie could afford it.

  “Who’s paying for it?”

  “Alan.”

  Shock froze like a deer in the headlights. “What?”

  His jaw ticked as he stared at me. “Trust me, he owes you.”

>   “For what?” I asked incredulously.

  “For breaking up with that unstable cunt before the filming was over,” he spat. “I fucking begged him to hang in there for your sake. He tried, but after two weeks of that he said he couldn’t stand to look at her. Being stuck with her day in and day out was too much. I knew she’d take it out on you—that’s why I’ve been having you work late—but I never thought she’d do this. This whole time I assumed she was just a bully and an ignorant bitch. If I’d known she was abusive, I’d have gotten you out of there long before now.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You can’t be mad at him, Garrett. None of this was his fault.”

  I’d never seen him look as angry as he did right then. “If he’d waited just a few more goddamn weeks you’d have been safe.”

  “That’s not true,” I countered. “I was going to continue living with her until I finished high school. No matter when Alan broke up with her, I’d still have been in the crosshairs. You can’t blame the actions of someone like Jewel on a man who never meant me any harm.”

  “You were never going back to live with her once you turned eighteen.”

  That was news to me. “I wasn’t?”

  “No,” he rasped. “I was trying to wait until you were legal but that’s blown to shit now.”

  My pulse elevated at his words. “What happens when I’m eighteen?” I asked.

  “You’ll be an adult and I’ll be free to show my hand.”

  The thundering of my heart in my chest was so extreme I was certain he could hear it. “What does that mean?”

  When he looked into my eyes, I saw zero doubt or hesitation. “I’ve wanted you since day one but I’m not Elvis or Jerry Lee Lewis. Age matters. Until you turn eighteen, my hands are tied but in ten days, there’s no reason for me to stay away. I’ve had my eye on that finish line for months.”