by Susan Gnucci
“Sorry about that. My wife simply hasn’t been able to set foot in Katie’s room since this all happened. And she won’t let any of us touch anything in it either, so it’s hard for her to let a…” he paused and corrected himself, “to let someone she doesn’t know go in it.”
“I understand. I don’t want to upset her. Maybe I should come back another time.”
“No, no. If she was in her right mind, she would want this; I can assure you,” he said with a sad smile. “Please come with me, and I’ll show you to Katie’s room.” He led her down a long hallway and opened a door into a sunlit room on the west side of the house. Pausing at the threshold as if unsure of entering himself, he stepped aside to allow Tess access. “Please take your time. And please handle anything you like. If there’s anything you want to ask about, just come and get me. I’ll be out back with Brett.”
Tess thanked him and tentatively entered the bedroom. As she did so, she experienced the strangest feeling, a momentary sense of guilt – not at the thought of violating someone’s privacy, but more like the uneasiness of walking over someone’s grave. Shaking off the feeling, she slowly circled the room and came to stand at the window that overlooked the back yard. Out on the patio, Katie’s little brother stood beside a rather large wooden hutch holding a flop-eared rabbit, his face buried in its fur. Almost as though he sensed her staring at him, the little boy lifted his head and made eye contact. His open, guileless expression unnerved her, so much so, she flinched and moved out of his line of sight.
Tess tried to concentrate on the room before her. It was painted a bold purple colour – obviously the girl had wanted to make a statement. A single bed stood against one wall, and a large closet occupied the entire length of the opposite wall. Gently prying open one of the doors, Tess took note of the assortment of shoes, sneakers, sandals, and boots. She was amazed at how many pairs there were. It put Leah to shame. The other side of the closet was knee-deep in a teenage girl’s wardrobe – tank tops, sweaters, jeans, T-shirts, belts, etc. Inside an alcove opposite the window, a custom-built desk was strewn with a wild display of notebooks, sticky notes, make-up, jewellery, and an assortment of other knickknacks.
One thing Tess did find surprising was that the room lacked any of the typical teenage posters of boy bands and tween heartthrobs. Instead, the posters adorning the walls depicted horses, many of them fanciful creatures with long flowing manes galloping through fantasy worlds. A large table stood in the middle of the room neatly laid out with all manner of craft supplies meticulously organized into jars and baskets. Tess traced her hand lightly over the items and closed her eyes…nothing.
‘Please let me help you, Katie,’ she thought desperately. ‘Let me give your family some closure.’
Some twenty minutes later, Tess stood at the front door saying her goodbyes, promising she would help in any way she could with the investigation. As she turned to leave, she hesitated. Part of her simply wanted to walk out the door and not assume any further responsibility for this family’s anguish, and yet, another part of her wanted to be able to offer some hope, however false. And so, she asked, “Mr. Bishop. I mean, George. Do you have anything of Katie’s that was special to her? Anything you could lend to me for a while?” Tess felt like a fraud asking such a question when she knew in her heart it was not likely to yield any result. Not only was she emotionally attached to McLean, she was now emotionally connected to this family as well. Once out of her mouth, however, the words could not be taken back.
Comprehension dawned on George, and when it did, his whole face lit up. “Of course. No problem. Please wait here. I’ve got to go down to the basement, but I’ll only be a minute.”
While waiting for him to return, Tess struggled with a myriad of conflicting emotions. To have witnessed his smile was worth it, but she knew she was only prolonging their pain in the long run. She waited several minutes in silence pondering her predicament before she spied Katie’s little brother peering at her from around the corner of the living room. His unsophisticated attempt to catch her attention was not only amusing, it was endearing.
“Goodbye, Brett. It was nice to meet you,” she called out to him.
Considering her acknowledgement an invitation, he entered the foyer and scrambled up onto the bench seat by the front door where he sat assessing her from his perch. Finally, he asked her a simple question – “Can you catch the bad man who hurted Katie?”
His question caught her off guard, causing her to wince and look away. In doing so, she discovered George standing at the top of the basement stairs, slightly out of breath. She could not discern whether he was embarrassed by his son’s pointed question or whether he needed to hear an answer himself, for he simply stood staring at her. Tess felt torn. She didn’t want to lie, but neither could she tell the whole truth. Kneeling down in front of the little boy, she replied, “I don’t know if I can, Brett, but I want you to know I will really, really try. OK?”
Nodding solemnly, he seemed satisfied with her answer.
George cleared his throat conspicuously and stepped forward to place a small white box in Tess’ hand. She naturally assumed it would contain a piece of jewellery, but when she opened it, she gasped at the delicate beauty of the object inside. Lifting it carefully by its pink ribbon, she held it up in front of her. It was a hand blown glass angel, the type of ornament that typically adorned a Christmas tree.
“We have two other children besides Katie and Brett,” George explained. “There’s Jake who is ten, and Amanda who just turned twelve. We’ve had a Christmas tradition in our family from the time the kids were born where we buy them a special ornament to hang on the tree on Christmas morning. Sandra puts a lot of thought into finding something unique for each child every year. We figured once they were out on their own, they would have a whole set of ornaments to decorate their first Christmas tree.”
He pointed to the glass angel in her hand. “This was Katie’s first ornament on her first Christmas morning.” Turning the angel over to reveal a small sticker on the underside, he proceeded to explain, “See – the ‘K’ stands for Katie and ‘1994’ was the year she was born.” He was smiling broadly now with the simple pleasure of that memory.
“Thank you, George. Thank you very much. I promise I’ll keep it safe,” Tess assured him, incredibly touched he would entrust it to her care.
“I know you will,” he replied, gently taking the ornament and setting it back in its box. As he guided her out onto the front porch, his voice took on an apologetic tone. “Sandra’s been so insistent about seeing you, but when the time actually came today, I’m afraid she just kind of…fell apart.”
“It’s OK. I understand.”
He reached out to gently touch her arm. “I want to thank you for coming, and more importantly, I want to thank you for sparing her what I’m sure you know. I’m…I’m sorry you have to live with that.” He regarded her sadly, and she was humbled beyond measure by the fact he would worry about any burden she might be carrying when his own was so monstrously heavy.
DECEMBER
As winter settled in, it brought with it the seasonal wind and rain storms that often lashed the coast for days on end. Being on the southern tip of Vancouver Island, Victoria’s climate was similar to that of its close neighbor – Seattle, Washington. Winters were inundated with rain, punctuated only occasionally by clearing skies. Snow was a rarity, and as a result, the city virtually shut down when there was any accumulation as it was ill-equipped to deal with plowing and sanding. Children were always delighted at such a turn of events because it usually resulted in a snow day (or two) from school. A snowfall rarely lasted more than a few days; however, so despite the inconvenience and calamity it brought, it was tolerated by most Victorians with good humour as a temporary predicament.
By mid-December, it had been weeks since Tess’ visit with Katie’s family, weeks of sitting and staring at Katie’s glass angel, of meditating in order to relax herself, of staring at the police s
ketch; all to no avail. And Tess had purposely kept her distance from McLean during all of that time in order to concentrate. It saddened her to keep putting off his phone calls and updates, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to confide the complete truth to him.
Despite her lack of success, Katie’s father insisted she keep the glass angel for the time being on the off-chance it could produce something at some point. Tess was surprised the Bishops hadn’t pressed for another meeting, particularly since the mother had been so out of it at the previous one. What she didn’t know, of course, was Mrs. Bishop had suffered a nervous breakdown and was now in the care of her sister on the mainland.
On stormy nights, Tess would sometimes bundle up and walk out to the breakwater, Leah often accompanying her in companionable silence. Staring out at the angry waves, Tess had to wonder how Katie’s family would cope with the approaching holiday season. That had to be hard. That first Christmas. What on earth was there to celebrate? How did you ever make such occasions normal again? Sadly, she surmised a family never really could.
Rather than head down east for Christmas to visit her parents as she sometimes did, Leah chose to stay instead with Tess, attempting to distract her with delicious meals and treats, and Tess loved her all the more for her effort. All the same, it was a strained, sad holiday as there didn’t seem to be much cause for celebration.
And so the Christmas season passed, and Tess was frankly relieved to be done with it. By month’s end, her involvement in the case had all but died down, and without many other leads, the investigation gradually stalled. Tess was sorely depressed, not only at her failure to channel, but also at effectively driving McLean away, for she knew he had gotten the wrong idea about her lack of contact. It pained her, the thought of not being able to get to know him better. She’d never felt this way about any man before – it baffled her to discover her feelings were both thrilling and frightening at the same time.
As the New Year approached, Tess could only pray it would somehow bring resolution to a case that was haunting them all.
It always puzzled Tess why she never had any sightings with those closest to her. Never once was she able to pick up any kind of impression from either Emmy or Leah. She finally chalked it up to her emotional connection with them as there didn’t seem to be any other explanation. And because of this, she never knew about Emmy’s cancer until it was too late. Tess had been only nineteen at the time, having just finished her first semester of university.
Emmy had been a smoker for many years, starting in her youth when it was considered fashionable, but she’d kicked the habit upon retiring, choosing at that point to live a healthier lifestyle. It was a shock, therefore, when a nagging cough in the fall of her 79th year was diagnosed as lung cancer. She chose not to tell Tess right away, preferring instead to allow her ward time to adjust to the start of her first year of university. Both Tess and Leah had moved on to university together - Tess pursued Astronomy while Leah chased her dream of being a writer. After high school graduation, Leah’s parents moved back east, but Leah had been adamant about staying in Victoria. It had become her home. So it only made sense to invite her to move in.
At first, it wasn’t difficult for Emmy to explain away her condition because she often came down with colds. Having had pneumonia as a child in the days before antibiotics, she was prone to chest problems (although even that had not dissuaded her from smoking for many years). And both Tess and Leah were so busy with their university courses, it was only natural they were less attentive than usual. It wasn’t until Leah made a comment about Emmy’s weight one night at dinner when Emmy realized she couldn’t hide her condition much longer. But she brushed off the comment all the same, declaring she was simply attempting to shed some unwanted pounds.
The fatigue was hardest to hide as everything tired Emmy out. On many occasions, she was caught napping when the girls came home from classes. She tried to make light of the situation, simply chalking it up to her age, saying, “Wait until you’re turning eighty, my dear. We’ll just see how spry you are then!”
When her fatigue worsened, Emmy was forced to break the news. Above all else, above all the worry and fear over her own imminent demise, was the overriding anguish of having to leave Tess. They had been blessed with nine wonderful years together. Emmy remembered all too well the fragile child who had come to her all those years ago. If she closed her eyes, she could still see the poor wee thing curled up in bed as though to protect herself, her little face locked in a pained expression even in sleep. More than anything else, Emmy wanted to spare her any more grief. And so, instead of telling Tess first, she confided in Leah and enlisted her help.
It was perhaps the most difficult thing Emmy ever had to do – to tell Tess about her condition. In some ways, it was even harder than receiving the news of her diagnosis. One night after dinner when all three women were sitting around the kitchen table enjoying a glass of wine, Emmy chose her moment. Bracing herself, knowing the devastation her news would undoubtedly impart, she simply stated, “Tess, I haven’t been completely honest with you about something. I’m afraid I’m sicker than I’ve led you to believe.”
Tess looked at her with a quizzical expression.
“There’s no easy way of saying this…” Emmy seemed fixated on her hands, wringing them like a nervous child. “I have lung cancer.”
Tess immediately looked over at Leah, as though willing her to deny what had just been said, but her good friend simply hung her head. Struggling to digest the news, Tess shook her own head slowly back and forth and moaned in disbelief. “No! No!”
Leah rose quietly to stand behind Tess, gently rubbing her friend’s shoulders in an attempt to massage the pain away.
“How long have you known?” Tess finally spoke.
“A few months,” Emmy confessed.
“A few months? But why didn’t you tell me?” Tess asked in an anguished voice, one that sounded years younger than her age.
“I couldn’t, Tess. I just couldn’t. You were so excited about university. You were just starting your life. How could I tell you something like that? You’re nineteen, and yet, you’ve gone through more pain than most people experience in a lifetime.” Emmy regarded her with a sad smile.
“But have you done anything? Chemo? Radiation?” Tess fought to keep her emotions in check.
“Tess, it’s terminal. I have no intention of prolonging the inevitable or of putting you girls through a protracted illness where I would just become a burden,” Emmy declared. Witnessing the anguished look on her ward’s face, she gently added, “I need you to respect my decision on this.”
Tess reached out to clasp Emmy’s hands in her own, pulling them up to her face and rubbing them against her cheek. “I can’t lose you, Emmy. I just can’t.” She began to weep.
“Now you listen to me, young lady.” Emmy waited for her ward to calm down and then extricated her hands so she could pat Tess’ lovingly. “You’re going to be just fine. You’re all grown up now. You’re strong, Tess. I know you are. And Leah is going to help you. She’ll be here for you.”
Leah bent down to wrap her arms protectively around her friend. “That’s right, Tess. You won’t have to go through this by yourself. I’ll be here with you.”
The look Tess gave her best friend was one of sincere appreciation. Stoically, she then turned her attention to the problem at hand. “How long?” she asked bluntly.
Before Emmy could respond, she launched into a coughing fit that forced her to double over, prompting both women to rush to her aid. They patted her back soothingly and talked her through the worst of it. Several minutes later, after she had finally caught her breath, Emmy admitted, “It’s advanced. The doctor said six months at the most.” She hadn’t sugar-coated her response, knowing instead that laying out the honest truth was the cleanest, easiest thing to do.
Tess gasped and leaned into Leah. “Oh, Emmy. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I could have failed to notice. I’ve been
so busy with school and everything…” There was a long moment of silence before Tess knelt down before her guardian, settling herself on her knees in much the same way she did when she was a child. Smiling sadly, but determined to put on a brave face, she spoke in a resolute voice, “Here I am being selfish and you’ve got to face this…this terrible thing. We’ll be here for you, Emmy. Me and Leah. We’re going to help you through this. And I’m going to be OK. I don’t want you to worry about me. Promise?”
APRIL
He had been able to tamper his need over the long winter months after his failed attempt to abduct the young prostitute the previous fall, but by the time spring rolled around, he was restless with agitation. Although he was confident the police sketch had not produced a link to him, he still felt compelled to hunt afield. And so, he returned to the mainland on his days off to search for a potential victim. Although he was an extremely careful hunter, he was beginning to chide himself that he was perhaps being too picky.
He sighed in frustration as he reclined in the driver’s seat of his car on the ferry ride back to Victoria after yet another unsuccessful hunt in Vancouver on a particularly warm spring day. During the hour and half ride to and from Vancouver, he always remained in his car on the car deck, preferring the dark solitude of its confines to the hustle and bustle of the crowds up on the passenger decks. Drivers were allowed to stay in their cars during sailings, so some people took the opportunity to catch a quick nap or sit with an anxious pet.
Closing his eyes, he fell easily into a light sleep, lulled by the sway of the ship as it entered the rough waters of the strait. Only moments later, he was jolted awake. At first, he couldn’t quite believe it. He could sense her. This knowledge – that she was on the very same ferry sailing with him – so unexpected and so thrilling as it was, left him feeling almost faint. He had to close his eyes and take several slow, deep breaths in order to calm his racing pulse.