Beyond What is Given

by Rebecca Yarros

  The door opened and Grayson walked in, gym bag in hand. He took off his cover and signed in, but I kept my eyes on the desk. “Samantha.”

  I shook my head. There was zero chance of us getting into it here.

  He sighed and went to the locker room.

  “You could, you know, speak to him,” Avery called out.

  “Do you want me to slip a pack of pencils into Grady’s backpack?” I answered quietly enough that only Avery heard me.

  Her mouth flopped open.

  “I thought not.”

  She stuck out her tongue, and then moved on to the next machine a little further away.

  I ripped open the envelope as soon as she was out of sight and unfolded my transcript.

  What. The. Fuck. My grades freshman year were fine, all normal, but the transcript showed me failing classes in my sophomore year, when I knew for a fact I’d pulled straight A’s until fall of my junior year. Not that all were F’s. Some were D’s, or incompletes. These were wrong.

  No wonder I wasn’t getting in.

  I flipped the page to see the attachment I’d dreaded. My stomach dropped, and my cheeks burned like everyone in the gym knew what I’d done.

  Disciplinary Report: Samantha Fitzgerald.

  One count of assault against a teacher, November 2014

  One count of misconduct regarding an academic grade, November 2014

  One count of plagiarism, September 2014

  One count of cheating on a final exam, May 2014.

  I blinked. It had been doctored. Altered on purpose.

  Roaring filled my ears, and embarrassment was no longer the issue. Oh no, I was going to rip apart the person who did this to me. Harrison. That cheating asswipe. He’d have access to the system to change my grades. He’d told me I’d never be rid of him.

  I hopped on the computer and booted up my email, going straight to the spam file. There were four more suspicious emails. All with the subject lines of universities I’d applied to. The first three called me a whore, told me I’d never be rid of the shame of what I’d done.

  “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know,” I muttered and opened the last one.

  Little Whore—

  Haven’t you figured it out yet? There’s no hope, and the harder you press, the more joy I have ruining your future the way you ruined my life. Why didn’t you stay here, where I could watch over you? In case you really are as stupid as I figure, I’ll make it clear. For every application you send in, your past becomes a better reflection of you. One little F at a time.

  Stop trying.

  “Asshole,” I whispered, and closed out the email.

  Grayson walked out of the locker room and shot me a longing look before heading to the weights.

  For a split second, I debated telling him.

  If anything, he’d kill Harrison, end up in prison, and I’d be to blame for ruining his life, too. Put that in your miracle-coma-girl movie.

  No. I could do this myself. I couldn’t lie down anymore and pray my grades from here would outweigh what was clearly becoming an unusable transcript. I didn’t even have a way to dispute the grades.

  I tried the online system to pull my old report cards, but I’d been locked out, which didn’t surprise me. I closed out the program and rolled back in my chair.

  My eyes automatically drifted to where Grayson was lifting.

  The muscles in his arms bulged with every rep, and my mouth went dry thinking of all the times he’d lifted me like I weighed nothing. All the times he’d held me against a wall while he worked my body into frenzy. I looked at the mirror so I could see his face in the reflection, and my lips parted. He was staring right at me, and his eyes said he’d seen me watching, and he liked it. The single arch of an eyebrow told me all I had to do was say the word and I’d be up against the lockers.

  But I wasn’t right for him. I couldn’t even keep my bedroom clean, and I knew that drove him nuts. Hell, if I were as organized as Grayson, I’d have hard copies of my report card in order of date-received all filed away.

  Like my mother.

  I pulled out my cell phone and dialed.

  “Hi, baby girl.”

  “Hey, Mom. I’m at work, so I can’t chat, but I have a quick question for you.”

  “Fire away.” Her curt tone told me she was still at work.

  “Do you have hard copies of my report cards from UCCS?” I held my breath.

  “Of course. Do you need them?”

  Thank you, God. “Yes. Do you think you could scan them for me?”

  “I’ll get it done tonight. Love you.”

  “Thank you, Mom. I love you, too.”

  We hung up, and I spied Avery wiping down the same piece of equipment she had been for the last ten minutes, staring at Grady as he used the leg machines.

  “Avery?” I called out gently, and cringed when she fell forward, distracted. She caught herself before she hit the ground, but her face flushed scarlet.

  “What’s up?” she asked at the counter.

  “How good at computers are you really?”

  She smiled slowly.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Sam

  I shifted in my seat as my English teacher droned on. Maybe it was that I hated literature? Not reading it, but analyzing it. Math was easy. A problem, a solution, bingo, done.

  “I think it’s about staying faithful,” a deep southern drawl to my left answered the question I hadn’t heard.

  “And what’s the overall lesson learned?” the professor prodded.

  “That you’re rewarded for staying true,” a girl answered behind me.

  “Until your husband is killed and you’re married off like Penelope,” I muttered.

  “Good point, Ms. Fitzgerald. So if staying true isn’t the lesson, what is?” He raised his clichéd glasses up his nose.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe not to piss off the gods. Not to make choices that bring you more suffering than fate has doled out, because then they just keep it coming.”

  And then they fuck with your transcript.

  “And what happens when you obey the gods? Is there still suffering?”

  They wake up your boyfriend’s comatose girlfriend just to watch the drama.

  “There’s always suffering,” a guy answered ahead of me. “But it’s how you deal with it that matters.”

  “Interesting point.”

  The discussion droned on until the professor dismissed us. I gathered my books and exited with the crowd. The sun stung my eyes as I made my way into the parking lot.

  “Sam.”

  I pivoted to see Grayson leaned up against one of the support pillars, looking good enough to eat in that uniform. “What are you doing here?”

  He brought his hand from behind his back and handed me a small bouquet of flowers. “Grayson.” I sighed and took his offering. I brought them to my nose and then lightly stroked the blue and white petals. “How did you get Rocky Mountain Columbine?”

  “State flower of Colorado, right?” he asked.

  I nodded. “I love these.”

  “Yeah, I remembered.” He gave me a shy smile that shattered my walls.

  “Thank you, but shouldn’t you be flying?” It was already ten a.m.

  “Yeah. We’re in academics right now.”

  What? He was skipping academics?

  “Then you’d better go! You’re going to be in a ton of trouble.”

  “I don’t care. I’m going to prove to you that I’m not leaving. If that means meeting you out here every day after class to show you that, I’ll do it. I probably can’t afford to overnight the flowers every day, but I can be creative.”

  My fingers tightened on the delicate stems. “You can’t. You’ll lose your spot on the OML, get set back a class, or kicked out of flight school if you miss too much. You know that. You won’t get North Carolina.” Everything he’d been working for would be thrown away.

  His jaw flexed twice, and then he shook h
is head. “I don’t care. I want to be where you are, and if you can’t believe me, then I’ll have to prove it to you. I’m not leaving you, Sam.”

  “What about Grace?” I whispered.

  He looked away and back to me. “I don’t know. I’ll tell her about us the next time I see her. I’m being as honest as I can with you, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’ve lived without Grace for five years, and I’m thrilled to have her back. She’s my best friend. But I don’t think I could live without you for five days. Hell, it’s been like twenty-four hours and I’m already on my knees here.”

  A smile spread across my face. This was Grayson, who’d pulled me out of my self-destruction and stayed with me after he knew my darkest secrets. He had faith in me, wasn’t it only fair that I return it?

  “Okay.” I nodded.

  “Okay, you’ll trust me? Or okay, I’d like to see you out here every morning?”

  I knew it was against the rules, but I leaned up on tiptoes and pressed my lips to his, nearly knocking his cover off his head. “Okay, I’ll believe in us.”

  He lifted me off the ground and kissed me with far more tongue than he should have in uniform. I was definitely not complaining. “Get your butt to class, now, Grayson.”

  “I’ll see you at home?” There was still something shaky in his voice.

  “I’ll be there, I promise.”

  He stole another quick kiss with a smile that could have dropped any of the panties on campus, because it was certainly about to drop mine. “Go!” I lightly pushed him, and he backed away grinning before turning to sprint to his truck.

  Gods, fate, suffering be damned, I loved that man.

  “Hey honey, would you take the potatoes out of the oven for me?” Grayson called from the backyard as he flipped the steaks.

  “Sure thing, sugar-lips!” Jagger called back, and Paisley smacked his chest with the back of her hand.

  “I think he meant me.” I laughed and opened the oven. Sunday night family dinners were my favorite part of the week. I only wish Ember lived closer so she could be here.

  “Hey, don’t ever doubt our bromance, Sam. We’ve come a long way in the last year. He even speaks in multiple-syllable sentences now.” He saluted me with his open beer as I pulled the potatoes out and set them to rest on the stovetop.

  “No more grunting, either,” Josh added, offering me a beer.

  I shook my head, not wanting to stress out Grayson. We’d been back to our state of normal for a week and a half, and it was glorious. I hadn’t moved into his room yet, but I slept in his bed every night. Our bed.

  Other than the random phone calls and texts, which I did my best to maturely swallow, we were just…us. It was this beautiful bubble that I couldn’t help but feel was about to pop. Once a pessimist, always a pessimist.

  “I think we’re ready,” Grayson said, putting the steaks on the table to rest. Josh brought over the salad, and I popped the potatoes onto a serving plate. I was midway to the table when Grayson’s phone dinged with another text message. My stomach clenched, but I ignored it. Or at least tried to.

  His brow furrowed as he typed back.

  “What’s up?” I didn’t really want to know, but I had my best supportive-girlfriend hat on.

  “It’s Grace, she was just asking what I’m up to.”

  “Do you have a drink?” I asked, skipping right over the part where I daydreamed I took his phone and crushed it into a million tiny pieces.

  “Do we have sweet tea?” he asked, not looking up.

  “Coming up.” I poured us two glasses and set them at the table.

  “Do we what?” Grayson said aloud.

  “Hmmm?”

  “Grace wants to know if we have two extra seats for Sunday night dinner?”

  Everyone’s head snapped to Grayson, and then to the door when the bell rang. No way. No fucking way. Grayson met my eyes with a panicked look, and as my stomach fell to the floor, I felt myself systematically shutting down.

  Maybe there were more responses than just flight or fight. Maybe shut-down-and-deny was a viable option. “You’d better get that,” I said.

  He nodded and left the room.

  I sat on the side next to Grayson’s seat, while Jagger and Paisley took up the side to our left. His hand took mine from where they were playing with the silverware and gave it a soft squeeze. If Jagger wasn’t even being sarcastic, we were headed for a hell of an evening.

  “Holy shit, you’re standing!” I heard Grayson exclaim.

  “Not for long,” a sweet voice responded.

  “Help her out, Gray,” another voice snapped, and my hand gripped Jagger’s.

  “Parker?” Paisley asked softly. I nodded, and she sighed. “I suppose I should grab the extinguisher in case you accidentally set her on fire. I’ll also provide the lighter.”

  Jagger snorted and kissed her on the cheek.

  Grayson’s head popped over the half wall, and everything inside me turned ice cold, froze, and shattered. In his arms, with her dainty hands wrapped around his neck, was Grace. She wore a white sundress, and with her hair twisted and braided up like that, their goofy smiles, and the way he carried her… I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Grayson Masters. Holy shit, I was going to be sick.

  “Breathe,” Jagger whispered under his breath.

  I’d seen the possibility of her beauty while she lay comatose, but Grace awake was far more than I could have imagined. Her tiny feet kicked lightly and her smile was infectious and full of such joy that I knew I was totally screwed.

  I couldn’t even bring myself to hate the woman who would steal away the man I loved.

  “Hi,” Grace said, looking us all in the eye. When she reached me, her eyes widened for a split second before she spoke. “Thank you for letting us barge in on you like this.”

  “It’s no trouble. I’m Paisley, and you must be Grace,” Paisley responded, southern manners to the rescue. “Grayson, why don’t you settle her at the table?” Her chair creaked on the floor as she pushed back and headed to the cabinet.

  “Where do you want this?” Parker asked, pointing to a small suitcase. “Mia said you have a thing for this peppermint-mocha coffee creamer she made us bring.”

  Grayson smiled. “That’s for Sam, actually.”

  “I’ll take it. Thank you, Parker.” I wound my way around the table to take the suitcase from her.

  “Wow, I didn’t realize you were still living here, Sam.”

  Oh, her claws were out. “Parker,” Grayson growled as he settled Grace into the seat closest to his on the corner.

  “Not for long,” Parker whispered in my ear, and then skipped over to Grayson and gave him a hug. “I’ve missed you, Gray!”

  “You are tougher than this, and that man worships everything about you, Sam,” Paisley said, squeezing my hand as I put the creamers into the freezer.

  I nodded, unable to say anything.

  “So let me guess who is who?” Grace asked as Paisley set places in front of her and Parker. “You must be Jagger, and you’re Josh.” She turned, sending me a kind and curious smile. “So you must be Sam? Grayson’s other roommate?”

  Paisley was wrong. I was so not tougher than this.

  “Actually, Grace,” Grayson started, sending me a smile, but I shook my head. I wasn’t going to destroy this girl at the dinner table. That was a private conversation for them to have. His face fell, and I dropped my eyes, skimming past him to take my seat.

  “What?” Grace asked.

  “You know he thought she was a guy when she first moved in,” Josh supplied. “He didn’t realize she was a girl until he met her.”

  Grace’s mouth popped open in a perfect O. “What happened?”

  I gave my first genuine smile. “He basically implied that I was sleeping with these two”—I pointed to Josh and Jagger—“and then I slipped off the counter and fell.”

  “She’d been standing on it to reach the coffee,” Grayson explained, dishing food o
nto her plate. “I’ve since moved the coffee lower, of course.”

  “You weren’t hurt, were you?” she asked.

  “No,” I said softly as he took my hand under the table. “Grayson caught me.”

  She turned a soft smile on him. “Good. He’s got good reflexes.”

  Even though it was my hand he was stroking, the smile he gave her made me feel like I was intruding on an intimate moment. I didn’t see a cheese-grater, but it felt like one was shaving down my heart a little more with each passing second.

  “It’s so good to see you guys side-by-side,” Parker cooed. “It’s like high school all over again!”

  Grayson stroked his thumb along my palm and dropped my hand to put food on his plate. “Yeah, except that it’s not, Parker.”

  She cut into her steak with quick, angry motions.

  “Sam?” Grayson asked. “Did you want some steak?” He held out the plate.

  “What’s wrong, did you lose your appetite?” Parker asked so sweetly she would have given a dentist cavities.

  I took a piece just to spite her.

  “So this was a long drive for you ladies to make on the fly,” Josh said, breaking the silence.

  “We flew, actually,” Grace offered. “I wanted to see Gray and his new life, and Parker was kind enough to bring me. We cleared everything with the doctors, of course.”

  “So you’ve planned this for a while?” Jagger asked.

  Grace looked from Parker to Grayson. “For about a week now. Parker said you’d like the surprise, Gray. She said you’d been down lately.”

  “I’m always glad to see you, Grace,” he answered.

  “Good, because you’ve got us for three whole days!” Parker finished.

  Kill me now. Right now. Lightning strike me dead.

  “I figured I could take the couch, and Grace could bunk with you?” Parker flashed Grayson a smile.

  I sputtered mid-sip of my tea, and Grayson took it from me while I coughed. “Are you okay, Sam?”

  I nodded, still hacking. “Wrong pipe,” I managed.

  Paisley’s hand peeked above the table, brandishing the blue bic Grayson used to light the grill. She shrugged when I laughed softly.

  “Parker is kidding. We wouldn’t dream of putting y’all out. We saw a hotel down the road. We can stay there.”