Back to Before

by Tracy Solheim

  Ginger suppressed a shudder. She desperately wanted Diesel to hug her, but he let out an explosive sigh instead. “You’re right about my needing to assert myself around my dad, but my relationship with him is not like the one you had working with your mother. He’s a tyrant. I had hoped to spend the next few weeks enjoying my work a little before he put the thumbscrews to me. Now I’ll be constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure every detail is in order.”

  She opened her mouth to say something, anything, just as Lori barged into the room. Her eyes were red and her face deathly pale. Diesel grabbed for Lori and wrapped his arms around her. “Tell me he’s not coming here,” she cried into his shoulder.

  “Shh,” he said, stroking her hair. “My father has never in his life paid attention to the staff. He won’t see you.”

  Lori gulped a sob. “I can’t let him,” she choked out.

  “And just to make sure, Ginger will be serving at the inn that day.” Diesel shot Ginger a chilling look over her head.

  Ginger didn’t bother suppressing this shudder.

  What had she done?

  * * *

  “Have you seen Ginger?” Gavin stopped Audra and her husband as they ambled toward the buffet set up on the veranda.

  “Not in a while,” Audra said, concern causing her forehead to crease. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, sure, I just wanted to coordinate tomorrow’s schedule with her.” It was as likely a scenario as ever for a lie. He waved them over to the table of food while he headed into the inn. Something was off.

  A strange tension seemed to be consuming the people closest to him tonight. Miles had been a bear since he arrived, obsessed with Lori and finding out everything he could about her. His brother had followed the poor woman around all afternoon as she prepared for the party, the air practically crackling whenever they came within five feet of each other. But Gavin didn’t have time to ponder the ramifications of their exchanges, he hadn’t seen Ginger since her crazy announcement earlier and he had an odd feeling things hadn’t turned out as she wanted. The savage look on Diesel’s face as he led her inside had him worried.

  Rounding the corner toward the kitchen, he nearly bowled over his mother and the sheriff. The tension between the two of them was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. With a brittle smile pasted on her face, his mother had spent the better part of the afternoon and evening avoiding Lamar, as far as Gavin could tell. Apparently, he’d just stumbled upon their moment of reckoning.

  “Gavin.” Was that relief he heard in his mother’s voice? He’d agreed not to interfere with his mother’s decision, but he wouldn’t let the sheriff browbeat her, either. Eyeing Lamar, he asked his mother whether she’d seen Ginger.

  “Not in the last half hour.” She looked to Lamar in question.

  The sheriff returned Gavin’s gaze with a stony one of his own. “She was headed out toward the garden house, both dogs in tow, a few minutes ago.”

  Gavin transferred his gaze between the two of them. He really didn’t want to ask. “Everything okay here?”

  “Yes,” Lamar and his mother said at the same time.

  He wasn’t sure he believed them, but he was even less sure he wanted to be involved in a lovers’ quarrel involving his own mother. Not to mention the fact that he wanted to find Ginger.

  “Okay, then you two play nice.” His mother’s strained laughter followed him down the hall and out the door.

  “Gavin!” Mrs. Elderhaus’ voice stopped him before he’d made three strides across the lawn toward the garden house. “I know you’re really busy right now with the show and whatever it is you’re doing up in Wilmington.” She hesitated as she tried—and failed—to wink at him. “But one of the bedroom windows is stuck. You know I hate turning on the AC before the official start of summer. Can you come by and see if you can work your magic on it?”

  “Sure, Mrs. E,” he said, trying not to break his stride or he’d be agreeing to mow the lawn next. “I’ll try and swing by on my walk with Midas tonight.”

  He was stopped twice more, agreeing to drop by both the Java Jolt to take a look at their awning and the Knot a Care in the World salon to check a faulty light switch, before he finally reached the garden house. Midas and Tessa were acting as sentries, both dogs lying across the threshold. Their tails scattered dust motes into the air as they greeted him, but neither one bothered to move.

  Stepping over the dogs, Gavin entered the nearly dark shed. He spied Ginger in the corner, sitting on one of the inn’s broken gliders, the chair tilted precariously to the side. Gavin made a mental note to fix it before he left town. She let out an anguished sigh, but didn’t bother looking up at him. He leaned a hip against the potting bench.

  “This isn’t about the cupcake, is it?” he asked.

  Her head shot up and his breath seized in his chest when he caught a glimpse of her damp eyes before she narrowed them to slits.

  “Hey,” he said, holding a hand up. “I’m sorry. I was just making a joke. A stupid one.”

  She dropped her chin back to her chest and Gavin mentally chided himself for being such a jerk.

  “What is it, sweetheart?” he asked softly. “Tell me who’s hurt you and I’ll kick their ass.”

  She shook her head. “Actually, I may be the one who’s done the hurting.”

  Gavin sighed. “Is this about that damn soap opera actress?”

  Ginger buried her face in her hands. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Stepping across the small room, he scooped her out of the chair and set her on the counter.

  “I just wanted to make everyone happy,” she sobbed into his chest.

  “From the looks of it, they are happy. You’ll likely get that statue in your honor if Bernice has her way.”

  “But Diesel hates me.”

  He rubbed a hand up and down her back in order to comfort her. It was either that or kiss her senseless. Based on his nightly study of her body and its pleasure points, there was no question that he could drive her from tears of sadness to shouts of ecstasy in zero to sixty. But her relationship with Diesel was important to her tender heart and she needed reassurance from Gavin more right now.

  “Diesel could never hate you. He might be a little angry at you at the moment. I’m assuming this has something to do with Marvin Goldman coming?”

  She nodded, her hair brushing against the underside of his chin. “It was the only way I could get Marissa to come. She’d never turn down an opportunity for face time with a network president.”

  “I take it that Diesel didn’t like having that part of the plan sprung on him.”

  She chewed on her bottom lip, as though she was carefully considering how to answer his question.

  He squeezed her shoulders. “I know Diesel’s true identity.”

  Ginger slumped beneath his hands. “Except that isn’t his true identity. The man you know is the true Diesel. He could never be like his father.” She released a forlorn sigh. “I should have asked him first. Diesel hates his father and sometimes I think the feeling is mutual. Can you imagine? A father rejecting his child?” She shuddered in his arms. “But his secretary said he was excited to come. I thought . . . I thought maybe they could . . . I don’t know . . . start over and respect each other. It was silly of me, I know.”

  Gavin brushed a kiss over the top of her head. “No, it wasn’t silly. You have a big heart, Ginger Walsh.”

  She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his body in closer contact with hers. “I should have thought of Diesel’s feelings first. But once everyone started being nice to me, I let myself be sucked in by the charm of this place.”

  He chuckled before pressing an openmouthed kiss to the tender skin beneath her ear. “That ‘charm’ can be a little overwhelming at times.”

  Wilting a bit in his arms, she pushed back a little, allowing him to see her face. “I forgot this town scared your fiancée away. I’m sorry.”

  Gavin winced at her sympathy. Leaning his
forehead on her shoulder, he shared with her something he’d never told anyone else. “She would have toughed it out if I had been a little more encouraging.” Back then he hadn’t had time for his high-maintenance fiancée, however. Instead, he’d focused all of his attention on fixing the mess his father had made in hopes he could get back to the life he’d had before Donald McAlister had suddenly died. He’d left Amanda to rusticate in a town where she knew no one and expected her to fit in.

  His mind drifted back to the day Amanda had left Chances Inlet. She hadn’t stormed off or left in the dark of night the way some of the folks in town told the story when they thought he wasn’t listening. Instead, she’d quietly told him she didn’t want to put her lucrative decorating career on hold for another six months. After their “quaint, small-town nuptials,” she would be headed back to New York to pick up where she’d left off.

  “I was the one who called off the wedding,” he admitted to Ginger. Her fingers stilled briefly before she resumed fingering them through his hair. “I don’t know if it was my stupid pride because she refused to stay here with me until I saw this thing through. Or if I just somehow knew it wasn’t going to work out in the long run anyway.” He sucked in a lungful of Ginger’s intoxicating scent. “But I told her if she couldn’t see her way to staying here in Chances Inlet with me, then maybe we were better off not marrying at all. She left that day and never looked back. So you see, it wasn’t this town that hijacked the marriage; it was all me.”

  “If she really loved you, she would have stayed,” she whispered as her lips brushed over his ear.

  Even though he’d admitted to her he’d been as culpable in the unraveling of his engagement as Amanda, Ginger still believed in him. The thought made his chest constrict. He cupped her face in his hands, locking eyes with her. “Like I said before, you have a big heart.”

  “Diesel says I have a Pollyanna complex; that I want everyone to like me.”

  “I like you,” he murmured, drawing her lips closer as she wrapped her legs around his hips. “I like you a lot.” His arousal came in contact with her warm center and she let out a throaty moan.

  Gavin’s mouth closed over hers in a deep, searching kiss. He let his tongue slide sensuously over hers. She kissed him back with the same fervor, using her own tongue to urge him deeper into her hot, silky mouth. Her hips rocked against him in agitation. Breaking the kiss, Gavin let his lips trail along her neck until she let out another moan of pleasure.

  The party was still going on outside, just yards from where he was copping a feel of Ginger’s aroused nipple. He could hear the laughter and the voices as half the town milled around in the inn’s yard. But Gavin didn’t care. He knew how to put a smile back on her face. And making her happy would definitely make him happy if the current state of his body was any indication.

  “Let me show you how much I like you,” he pleaded just before he took her sensitive earlobe between his teeth.

  “Yes,” she whispered, grinding her sex against him while she tugged at his shirt. “Close the door and let’s have our own secret mutual admiration party.”

  Shoving the dogs out of the door before closing and locking it, Gavin took his time showing Ginger just exactly how much he liked her.

  * * *

  “I told you, Tricia, I don’t want your answer until you’re ready to give it.” Lamar tilted up her chin with his finger before leaning in to kiss her soundly. Her body arched into his reflexively, needy for his touch on her skin. “We can go on just as we have been,” he murmured against her lips. “Nothing has changed.”

  Except it has.

  Gently breaking their kiss, Patricia pulled her body out of contact with his. The space separating them was still only an inch or so, but somehow it felt like a gulf. Everything had changed once he’d asked her to marry him. Lamar insisted that they could go on with their relationship as it was, no matter what her answer would be, but that wasn’t possible. Not when the words were already out there.

  She’d been conflicted all week—angry and elated and frightened all at the same time. Making matters worse, Lamar had blindsided her with his proposal and then left town for a statewide law enforcement conference. When she’d finally seen him again today, an ache had settled in her stomach. She just wasn’t sure whether it was for Lamar or from the situation.

  If only she had someone to talk to. Annabeth Osbourne, her best friend, was in Baltimore enjoying her new husband, and Patricia didn’t feel like this was a conversation she could have over the phone. She needed to see her friend’s face to know what Annabeth really thought. And she definitely wasn’t discussing Lamar’s proposal with her children. She was all kinds of uncomfortable just thinking about that conversation.

  Over the last year, the one person she’d been able to share her deepest thoughts and concerns with, the one person she could talk to about anything, was right now holding her in his arms and patiently awaiting her answer. She glanced up at his stoic face. Her breath caught as she saw in his eyes a passion that probably reflected the passion in her own. If she said no, everything would change and she might lose him. She couldn’t lose this man. Not when he’d helped her rediscover who she was, who she could be.

  Patricia stretched up on her toes and nuzzled his chin. “Yes,” she whispered, taking the greatest risk of her life. Lamar’s breathing stilled, but his heart beat fiercely beneath her palm. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  His mouth was on hers before she finished the sentence. Patricia relaxed into his embrace, finally able to let go of the tension that had strangled her for the past week. Wrapping her arms securely around his neck, she refused to think about anything other than the here and now. Her children were grown and had lives of their own. It was time that she had one, too. And she could think of no greater man to spend it with than Lamar Hollister.

  NINETEEN

  A crowd of townspeople and media were assembled inside McAlister C & E. It had been a long week of juggling the renovations of Dresden House, preparing for the loft renovation project in New Jersey and enjoying late-night rendezvous with Ginger. As a result, Gavin was tired and edgy. The last thing he wanted to do was listen to his brother Miles deliver an impromptu campaign speech. But his mother caught his eye just as Gavin tried to slip through the doorway. The strain on her face was palpable, gluing his feet to the floor.

  Since his father’s death two years ago, Gavin’s mother had entered the door to McAlister C & E only one time that Gavin could recall. The building held a lifetime of memories for the family and it was in this office that Gavin felt his father’s presence the most. Perhaps that was why his mother stayed away, too many reminders of the husband she’d lost so suddenly. Given the lines bracketing her normally serene mouth as she watched her oldest son declare his candidacy, entering the building was still difficult for her.

  As expected, her announcement that she was marrying the sheriff hadn’t been received well by Miles. Their older sister, Kate, had been ecstatic, however. She, along with her husband, Alden, and their six-year-old daughter, Emily, had come down from their home in Raleigh not only for Miles’ press conference, but to place herself squarely in their mom’s camp. The two oldest McAlister siblings had been butting heads since being born eleven months apart, and Gavin just wished he was already gone from Chances Inlet so that he wasn’t pulled into the fray. The two younger McAlister offspring—Ryan and Elle—were, to Gavin’s mind, ambivalent about their mother’s impending wedding. Elle’s only request had been that the vows take place after her return from her stint in the Peace Corps later in the summer.

  “The McAlister name has been synonymous with Chances Inlet’s economic development for nearly three decades,” Miles was saying. “I grew up watching both my parents work hard to build our small coastal town into not only a family-friendly vacation destination, but a place welcoming to small business, technology and the medical industry, as well as textile production.”

  Gavin watched as his mother’s wary eyes
began to shine with pride. Her husband had been instrumental in maintaining this town’s image during a time of economic instability. Unfortunately, he’d paid a heavy price, one that Gavin was still paying. Still, he was happy to see her face relax as, disagreements aside, she beamed at Miles. As his brother waxed on about his family’s humble beginnings, his vision of the future of Chances Inlet and the United States government, Gavin himself felt a little twinge of pride at Miles’ speech. He was confident that his brother was the most capable individual to serve the town’s interests in Washington.

  Miles paused in his speech to glance over at their mother. “And whether or not a member of the McAlister family serves in Congress, we’ll always maintain a presence in this town. My beautiful mother owns and operates one of the finest inns in the state, if not on the East Coast.” He gave her his most adoring smile. “Not only that but our firm of McAlister Construction and Engineering with my brother, Gavin, at the helm, will continue to build the necessary infrastructure this town needs to move forward, while still preserving the history of Chances Inlet. We’ve been a mainstay in this community for decades and we plan to continue that relationship for decades to come.”

  The crowd turned toward Gavin, their applause mingling with the roaring in his ears. His mother and sister smiled at him, as did Bernice from her position behind Miles. Gavin wasn’t sure he was still breathing. His brain was screaming at him to say something, yell something, but his brother had moved on, wrapping up his remarks. Avoiding his mother’s eyes, Gavin slipped out of the office and up to his loft where he could punch the wall in private.

  Unfortunately, his brother and sister followed him up there not more than ten minutes later.

  “We have to do something about Mom,” Miles barked, heading straight for the refrigerator.