Cave Crawlers

by Alex Laybourne

  The tears were hot and scalding at first, but after a few moments, the pressure dropped, and Justin felt their soothing presence. He stared at the cop, who sat unmoved and unfazed by the display he was seeing.

  “Are you done?” he asked, when Justin sat panting, his head resting on the cool surface of the table.

  “Yes,” Justin managed to exhale.

  “Good, then I have to ask you, even if your brother was acting in self-defense, why did he carry on? Why did he keep attacking your father long after he had stopped attacking you?” Something in the officer’s face had changed. His eyes were watching Justin with interest now.

  “Because he had had enough of it. Eighteen years is a long time to live in an abusive home. This was the final straw.” Justin raised his head and stared at the officer, his vision blurred through tears.

  “Thank you, Mr. Howland, you are free to leave. If you wish to make any formal complaints of abuse, then feel free, but as of now, this discussion is over.” The officer stood and adjusted the tight waistband of his trousers, then took a crumbled-up paper napkin out of his pocket, and wiped the sweat from his forehead with it, before tossing it into the bin in the corner of the room.

  “What about Declan?” Justin asked, half expecting the officer to have seen the light and set his brother free also.

  “Your brother is under arrest for murder. He is not going anywhere, but I am sure, when this thing goes to court, the abuse angle will be used. My advice, get your story straight. I’m not saying you’re lying, I’m just saying, make sure your head is on straight because they will play this against you as much as your team will play it to help.” The officer opened the door and let Justin leave, following him down the corridor to the lift and escorting him to the main reception area.

  Three people sat waiting in the room, but Justin paid them no mind, not until someone called his name.

  “Justin, Justin, wait up.” The voice followed him outside, where he stood with his hands in his pockets, wondering what he was going to do next.

  He turned when he finally recognized his name being called and was almost bowled over by the charging figure of Cassie. She flung herself at him, her arms wrapping around him, locking him in her embrace. Her perfume filled his nose and his head swam; the shouts and the screams inside his head died down in an instant. He had found his peace with her.

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’ve been trying to get hold of you, but your mother, well, she wouldn’t let me in.” Cassie’s eyes were stung with tears.

  “I’m so sorry about all this. I can’t believe all of this. How is Declan?” she asked, firing questions at a rapid pace.

  “I don’t know. I’ve not seen him yet. I was brought here to talk about … well, you know, everything that happened to me.” Justin took a deep breath and found himself clearer headed than he had been in the days since his father’s death.

  “Well, don’t worry. You can come with us, can’t he, Grandpa?” Cassie turned to the older man that had followed her out of the station.

  “Well, we should probably be introduced to each other first.” The old man smiled. His face was wrinkled by time, but his eyes shone with a vitality that said he had a lot more gas left in the tank.

  “Oh … of course, Justin, this is my grandpa, Everett. I am living with him now. After everything that happened to you, I … I couldn’t live in silence anymore.” Cassie’s lip started quivering, and she buried her face into Justin’s neck.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered, holding her.

  “Cassie here told me a little about your situation, and well, if you want, there is always space at our table. We’ve got a big enough place, and it’s close enough to get to school and back. Especially for those last few weeks before the summer.” There was an honest kindness to the words, and it almost brought Justin to his knees. His head was spinning with everything that had happened, but he never doubted the offer for a second.

  “I would be thrilled if I could stay,” he said, looking from Everett down to Cassie, whose face was almost split in two by the smile that had spread across her face.

  “Then that settles it. I’ll show you the way home, and you can get settled in,” Everett said, turning and heading back to his car which had been parked, Justin was sure, under no accidental conditions, right next to his own.

  “I’ll ride with Justin, just to make sure he finds the way,” Cassie called, her hand sliding into his, their fingers interlocking.

  “Okay, honey,” Everett said as he walked away.

  “What’s happening?” Justin asked as he was half dragged by Cassie over to the car.

  “I’ll explain everything as we drive, but trust me, everything is going to be alright now.” She looked up and gave Justin a kiss on the cheek. Her lips felt like a cooling balm and sent a welcome chill running through him.

  They drove for a while in silence, the radio offering a gentle background noise that neither of them was really listening to. After pulling out of the police station, they turned right, heading in the opposite direction to Justin’s house. The realization hit him like a slap in the face, and his breath suddenly started to increase.

  “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay,” Cassie said, her hand coming to rest on top of his on the steering wheel.

  “It’s all happening kind of fast. I’m so confused,” Justin spoke, unsure what he was going to say until the words came out, his brain somehow managing to make some sense out of the thousands of thoughts and feelings that were swirling around inside his head, like some inner-cranial hurricane.

  “I know, and listen, I’m only doing this to help you. If you want to leave or go do your own thing, then you can. I just wanted to do something,” Cassie said, her green eyes focused on him, and he felt the spark between them. It was more than just two people trying to escape a bad part of their lives.

  “I wouldn’t leave you for the world,” Justin said, the words feeling like the most natural ones he had ever spoken.

  Cassie smiled, her nose wrinkling just a little, making her look even cuter. “You need to take a right up here.”

  Cassie’s maternal grandparents lived on a large property outside of town, an old farmhouse that had been in the family for some generations. Cassie’s mother grew up with six brothers and two sisters, and the house had easily accommodated them all. It was a warm house from the outside, the driveway leading up to it lined by apple trees, and the three large fields that lay on both sides and to the rear were maintained but not used for any farming purposes. Although, Justin did see a decent-sized vegetable garden off to one side of the house.

  “This place is huge,” he said as they sat in the car, staring up at the house. Justin needed a few moments to gather his thoughts.

  “Come on, we can do this.” Cassie gave his leg a reassuring squeeze, and together they got out of the car.

  Everett was already in the house, and as they walked up, the door opened and Cassie’s grandmother appeared. While Justin had never met Cassie mother, it was clear from which side of the family she got her looks. Her grandmother, a woman in her sixties, or so Justin would guess, had the same shade of green eye color, and the same gentle, delicate nose.

  “You must be Justin, you poor thing.” The old woman pulled Justin into a strong embrace and held him for a long time. “Anything you need, you just tell us. You are welcome to stay here as long as you need.”

  “Justin, this is my grandmother, Rose,” Cassie said, introducing the pair, standing with her arm locked around Justin’s.

  “Come on inside, I’ve got some soup cooking and the bread was finished this morning, so it still has a bit of warmth to it. You must be famished.” Rose turned and disappeared back inside the house.

  “Are you alright?” Cassie asked, looking up at Justin.

  “Me? Yes, I’m good. This is just a lot to take in. I mean, where are your parents?” Justin asked, stepping over the threshold the moment the aroma of homemade soup hit him.

  “After
everything that happened with you, I just, I had to tell someone about things. My grandpa has always been my best friend, and when I told him, he just held me and let me cry. They took me in without question, and my mother, well, she won’t leave. It worries them sick, knowing what he is like, but they can’t force her to leave.” Cassie brought her voice down to a whisper as they got closer to the kitchen.

  The kitchen was a large farmhouse affair, with lots of natural wood and windows, allowing for the light to pass over the garden and into the kitchen. Rose stood by the stove, ladling soup into two large bowls, while a plate stacked high with thick slices of fresh bread stood on the table.

  Justin and Cassie sat down, opposite each other at the table, their gazes locked. They ate in silence, and both Everett and Rose gave them space.

  “It’s good, right?” Cassie said, slurping slightly at the soup.

  “It’s incredible,” Justin answered, coating a piece of bread with soft butter and dipping it into the bowl.

  When their lunch was finished, Justin felt better than he had in a long time. He was worried about Declan but had faith that things were starting to turn around.

  “Here, let me show you around,” Cassie said, getting up from the table. She took Justin’s hand and led him through the house, telling stories of how she had spent a lot of time there when she was young. She spoke with ease and had a storyteller’s voice. Justin gladly listened and wanted to hear more.

  “My bedroom is down the end here, and you can take anyone you want. Personally, I’d recommend that one.” She pointed to the room next to hers. “It’s got a great view, and is right next to mine.”

  “Then I’m sold,” Justin answered, as the urge to pull Cassie into his arms consumed him. “Are you sure it’s alright for me to stay here?” Justin asked, feeling compelled to clarify this was not a dream or some final twisted idea designed to break him by showing him a slice of happiness and rip it away from him.

  “Of course, you are more than welcome. Here, let me show you out back.” Cassie’s enthusiasm was growing by the minute, and she all but ran out of the house, dragging Justin behind her.

  The rear of the house was a bare dirt area, flattened through generations of use, from horse and cart through working farm equipment, and now as a parking area for three different vehicles, including an old van that looked as if it had been abandoned there. From there, the yard bled neatly into a long open field, with a line of trees running down the right and across the rear, natural boundary markers, laid back in a time before contracts and lawyers were needed to come to an agreement. The grass was more overgrown in the rear than the more publicly visible areas.

  “Come on, there is a great spot just down here,” Cassie said, still dragging Justin by the hand.

  They disappeared into the knee-deep grass and were soon swallowed from view as the field rolled down a slope which had been invisible to the eye from up at the house.

  They drew closer to the tree line but were stopped by a small creek that ran along the edge of the field. It was a picturesque setting, the sun behind the trees, starting its descent, the shadow growing slowly longer. The shade still held the warmth of the day, and as they sat on a fallen tree, the world became a peaceful have around them.

  They pair inched closer, the physical attraction between them growing now, and with no need for containment. Cassie played with her hair, sweeping it over her far shoulder, while she twisted her body on the log. Justin moved closer, leaning forward when he felt something brush against the back of his hand. He thought it was Cassie, reaching for him, her fingers tracing a gentle pattern on his skin. But then she raised her hand to her face and the tickling sensation continued. Looking down, Justin saw the two beetles chasing over his skin.

  His blood froze as he watched their hardened back bodies scurry over his flesh, his senses heightened to the point where he felt the prick of each leg against his skin. He began to sweat and shake, his eyes fixated on the bugs. His hands began to shake, while he fought back the urge to scream.

  “Justin, Justin, what’s wrong?” Cassie asked, seeing the change in his attitude. She reached out to him, shaking him by the shoulder as if trying to take him from his trance. “Oh my God, you’re sweating.”

  When Justin couldn’t put together an answer, Cassie looked for herself, following his line of vision down to his hand where both beetles had reached his wrist.

  Casually, as if it were nothing, Cassie reached out and swatted them away. Justin watched as their bodies tumbled through the air. Only when they landed in the grass and he accepted that they were gone did his wits return to him.

  “I’m … I’m sorry,” he stammered. “I don’t like bugs. They remind me of when my mother used to lock me up in the shed.”

  Justin shivered as he spoke about the memory and hated himself for appearing so weak. “Sorry I ruined this. It’s beautiful here.”

  “You didn’t ruin anything.” Leaning in, Cassie kissed him on the lips and held his lips against hers for a time thereafter. “There you go.”

  Her eyes twinkled with mischief when she smiled, and Justin hoped that he would be able to drown in it.

  They fell silent for a while, sitting in the peace, happy to let the world build up around them again.

  “How did you learn to cope?” Cassie asked, her voice almost bashful.

  “Declan,” Justin said with almost without hesitation. “He was always there for me. He would pull me out of the shed and brush the insects off me. He would clean my face and get cold cloths for the bruises and the swellings.”

  Justin shuddered as he thought of the bugs, and he could feel them crawling all over him, their tiny legs multiplying until it felt as if his skin was on fire. He knew it was illogical, just a stupid trick of his mind, but he couldn’t stop it. The urge to swat at himself, to scratch himself until his skin was raw consumed him.

  Cassie sat staring at him. “It’s okay,” she spoke softly. “There’s nothing on you.”

  “What about you? What happened to your parents?” Justin asked, wanting to change the subject, to take his mind away from the bugs, which he kept telling himself were not clawing their way back to him, like some unconquered quest they needed to fulfill. His flesh could not be that sweet.

  “Well, this is going to sound a bit corny, but after I heard about what happened, I just knew that I couldn’t leave it any longer. I had to do something, and so I told my grandparents everything. They moved me in without question and tried to convince my mum to leave, but she wouldn’t. She keeps claiming there was nothing going on. That I was mistaken or making it up for some reason.” Cassie lowered her gaze, as if she intended to study the ground where her feet were placed.

  “So, she’s still with him?” Justin couldn’t understand that. He had been abused his whole life and couldn’t wait until he was able to leave his parents behind.

  “Yep, and I always thought she was just staying with him because of me. Turns out, she actually loves the son of a bitch. Kind of twisted, right?” Cassie forced a laugh, but Justin could both see and hear the pain that lurked just beneath the surface.

  “How do you cope?” Justin asked, curious.

  “I drink.” The laugh, however fake it was, fell away, and a deadly seriousness filled the space it left. “I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes … most of the time, it just takes it all away. It makes me numb, and I like that.” Cassie shifted on the log, wrapping her arms around herself.

  Justin wanted nothing more than to pull her close to him, but he couldn’t. He was fighting too many of his own problems at that moment, and it held him back.

  “We should be getting back to the house,” Cassie said after a time. “It’s going to be getting chilly soon, once the sun disappears behind the trees, and we have some chores to do before dinner.” She stood and turned to Justin, waiting for him to stand too. “I’m really happy you are here.”

  Their dinner that evening was a hearty home-cooked feast, unlike anything Justin
had seen before. It was a simple affair in terms of content. Beef so tender that it fell apart just by looking at it, creamy potatoes and vibrant-colored vegetables, topped off with a thick, rich gravy, but to Justin, it tasted like a slice of heaven.

  He and Cassie sat together, side-by-side, and for most of the meal, their right and left hand respectively were locked.

  “This is delicious, Mrs. …” Justin froze, unsure what Cassie’s maternal grandparents’ surname was.

  “You call me Rose, young man, and you are more than welcome.” Rose was a kind-hearted woman. That was clear to see. She shone at the table, looking around at the family that she had been given.

  After they were finished eating, Justin and Cassie did the dishes, one washing, one drying, like a well-oiled machine.

  The day had been a long one and had taken its toll on Justin. He excused himself at nine o’clock that evening and headed up to his room. When he was alone, the peace didn’t last long, but the stresses that came to him were still somewhat dulled by the knowledge that he had escaped. He felt guilty at having not thought about Declan too much. It hurt to think of his brother sitting cold and lonely in some prison cell. He chided himself for not having found a way to get him out of prison. The concept that his brother might end up in jail still hadn’t truly dawned on him. It was a fact that he was tactically ignoring.

  Justin was tired, but no matter how hard he tried, sleep just would not come for him. He tossed and turned and watched the clock. The hours passed, and Justin heard Cassie head to bed also. Her footsteps in the hall made his heart flutter and brought him back down from the stupor he had been in.

  A while later, there was a knock at his door. Unsure what to say, Justin sat up in bed and waited, wondering if maybe he had dreamed it.

  There was no second knock, but the handle turned and the door opened. Cassie pushed her head inside and quickly stumbled through the door, tripping as she did. Giggling to herself, she closed the door and stood up on unsteady feet.

  “Hey, you,” she slurred, drunk again.