Moving back to the bed, Declan knew he was ready. He had not been prepared for life in prison, and the education had been swift, but those angry days were behind him. He had dealt with it. The new chapter in his life was starting, and he couldn’t wait. Justin had spoken to him, saying that he could stay with his family for a time, until he was at a point where he wanted to or could afford to get his own place.
Despite Declan’s plea for Justin to move on with his life, his brother had not listened. He had remained nearby and came to visit his brother every week, sharing every moment of his life with him to the point where it felt as if Declan knew everybody that was going to be out there already.
He couldn’t be prouder of his brother and having watched him grow, he never once regretted what he did.
“Howland,” the voice of the on-duty officer boomed. “Let’s take a walk.”
Declan rose from the bed and walked to the door. “Yes, sir,” he said with a nod.
The officer, Luke Mollan, had been working at the prison almost as long as Declan had been there. One could even say that they had bonded over the years.
All of the guards knew Declan’s story, the real story, and as such, he became one of the prisoners that they could be a little more real with. He was not the only one, not by a long way, but he had also come to think of Luke as something that bordered on being a friend. He was glad that it was him that got to walk him to the gates and not someone else, like Jenkins, the stereotypical prison guard, who loved to torment the prisoners that crossed his path.
They walked through the main rec hall, and a number of inmates walked up and shook Declan’s hand or threw him a high five. Others sat in the corners watching and scowling at him; several because of their general dislike for the man, others because of their jealousy at his situation, something they knew they would never have.
Declan looked around one last time at the tight space that had been his home for over half his life. The honest answer was that the thought of the outside world terrified him; the open space, the ability to do whatever he wanted. It was a daunting prospect after being so used to the structure and enclosed space of his cell. The thought of sitting in a room where he could stand up and not touch all four walls without taking more than one small step in any direction was daunting, but he was ready for it.
As they left the main rec hall behind, Declan took one last look over his shoulder as the doors closed, ending the longest, hardest chapter of his life.
They walked through the long corridor, past the visiting hall, the private booths and also the two rooms that had been set up for conjugal visits.
In all of the years, Declan had never noticed that the walls were painted a faded military green color. It was a horrid shade, and he was pretty sure had he noticed it earlier, it would have done nothing to brighten up any occasion that brought him out of general population.
The visitor wing led into the general administration section where officer workers sat dealing with the standard array of paperwork and staff meetings, rarely ever confronting with one of the people they actually worked to maintain. Only on release days such as this, and seeing how Declan was on his own, he didn’t believe they would be rushed off their feet with paperwork because of it.
A few raised their eyes to stare at him, but most, he noticed, kept their heads down, focused on their screens, as if raising their heads to look at the visitor they were receiving would somehow cause him to snap and go on some murderous rampage in an effort to have himself hauled back inside. That just wasn’t going to happen to him. Nope, he was done and had no intentions of coming back.
With everything signed and sealed, Luke handed Declan an envelope, gave him a hand, which Declan shook, and then he opened the small side door. While it wasn’t a magical door in the back of a piece of bedroom furniture, the world he would be taken to when crossing the threshold held the potential to be just as magical.
Taking a deep breath, Declan closed his eyes and said a few silent words of encouragement to himself, and took that final step.
He was free. The sun, the warm breeze, the space around him, it felt as if he had been trapped inside a vacuum and suddenly, the power had been turned off, and the air was rushing back towards him. It was a lot to take in, but he planned on savoring every minute of it.
“Hey there, brother,” Justin’s voice came from behind him. Declan turned around and saw Justin standing in front of him, and the rush of emotion that slammed into him was enough to make Declan want to weep.
“Hey, man.” The two stared at each other for a moment before bursting into matching smiles and embracing with a crushing hug.
“You got old,” Justin said as he looked at the grey hair in both Declan’s hair and beard.
“Yeah, well, you got … rich, sell-out,” Declan replied, punching his brother playfully on the arm.
In the few moments it took to walk over to the car, the brothers laughed and joked and everything felt so normal. Justin couldn’t stop smiling, and the nightmare scenarios that had played out in his head the previous seven nights were just that; fantasies of worry, conjured up by a tired brain.
“How does it feel?” Justin asked. “Being free?”
“It feels good. Strange, but good.” Declan sat in the passenger seat and stared out of the window. The world had changed, but yet, at the same time, not as much as he had expected. Part of his brain kept telling him that once he got out, the world would be so different he wouldn’t recognize it anymore. Finding it to still be a case of blue sky and green grass was almost disappointing.
“Well, you are going to get right back on your feet with us, brother. We are delighted to have you stay, the kids can’t wait to meet their uncle, and well …” Justin froze, unsure if the words he was about to say were the right ones. “It’s the least I can do.”
Spoken quickly, the confidence fell from his words. Justin expected things to become awkward, but Declan looked at him and nodded, changing the subject immediately.
“This thing sure beats the heck out of that old Ford,” Declan said, but once again, the words fell flat, and the awkwardness increased, as both brothers recalled how it had been that old Ford that led to the argument in which Declan murdered their abusive father.
They sat in silence for a few moments, Declan content to watch the prison disappear in the rearview mirror and see the countryside spring up around them.
“How far is it to your house?” he asked, looking across at Justin, who was clearly mulling over as many thoughts as Declan was.
“It’s about forty-five minutes, give or take. We moved out of the town and into the city first, but when I sold Sav-Tech, we moved back out into the country, kind of in between the two places. It’s beautiful there.” Justin beamed as he spoke about his house.
“I’m proud of you, brother. You made something of your life, and well, it just, well, you know, it shows me that I did the right thing.” The past was something neither man could ever escape, and while both had learned to live with it, living with it together was going to be a whole new experience. They shared a dark bond, and everything that linked them as brothers had been born in a time and place of violence and darkness.
They arrived at the house a little earlier than expected. A large converted farmhouse, not dissimilar to the place owned by Cassie’s grandparents all those years previous, it was a three-story property, with the third floor taking up two-thirds of the floor space of the two lower levels. Smoke was rising from the chimney, and the flowerbeds and garden out front were every bit the picture postcard. Two cars were parked in the driveway, a large four-by-four and a truck. The BMW they were in made three.
“Do you have company?” Declan asked, looked at the cars.
“No, they are all ours,” Justin said, pulling up beside the truck and shutting off the engine.
Declan got out of the car and stood looking at the vehicles for a few moments, putting off going inside, apprehensive of how things were going to go.
“Here,” Justin said, throwing something at his brother.
“Keys?” Declan asked, looking up from the small bundle he held in his hands.
“Yep, two are for the house, back door, and front. The big one is for your new car.” Justin patted the truck and smiled at his brother, whose face slowly changed as the realization set in.
“No shit.” Declan ran his hands over the hood of the truck, stroking it like a pet.
“Yep, she’s all yours, brother. Well, once you get your license again,” Justin added.
The door to the house opened and Cassie moved over to her husband, kissing him on the cheek. She had been baking, and the scent of vanilla hung over her like a perfume. It was almost strong enough to hide the aroma of alcohol.
“You’re back.” Cassie looked over at Declan and smiled. “You must be Declan.”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you for having me. Justin told me everything about you. About how you saved him.” Declan walked over and shook Cassie’s hand. “Thank you for looking after him.”
“Oh, he saved me just as much as I did him. Come on in, I’ll show you around.” Cassie turned and disappeared into the house.
“She’s beautiful, man, well done.” Declan slapped his brother on the back and walked inside, chuckling.
Justin watched him go, staying where he was a moment longer, shaken by the strange feeling that was starting to creep over him. He wasn’t thinking that it was a mistake to have Declan there, but he just thought it would be, different. The man didn’t feel like his brother anymore. Not the way he had back when they were kids.
Justin found Cassie and his brother on the first floor. They had just left the bathroom and were already laughing and joking with one another. It was as if they were old friends, seeing each other for the first time since college, rather than effective strangers meeting for the first time.
Cassie had never visited Declan in prison. It had been Declan’s idea. He had not wanted it, saying that first impressions were important and theirs should not be clouded by the consequences of a single moment. Yet, over the years, Justin had opened up to each of them about the other, and so now, talking for the first time, they were coming to realize they were old friends.
“So, our bedroom is here, and the kids took the two on the top floor and this one here,” Cassie explained from the hallway, her arms pointing in all different directions. “There are two guest rooms, and either one is yours now. I’d suggest the one at the far end. It’s a little bigger, has more natural light, and a great view of the fields out the back.”
“Then that one it is. It’ll be good to have a view of some wide-open spaces and know I can take a walk in them whenever I feel like it.” Declan hoisted his bag onto his shoulders and walked into the room. He had no other belongings than the few possessions he had purchased while inside.
Cassie looked at Justin and smiled. She swayed slightly on her feet and moved after Declan.
Justin stopped her as she walked past. “Hey, is everything alright?” he asked, looking Cassie directly in the eyes.
“Yeah, sure, everything’s fine.” She smiled again and walked away, pausing in the doorway to the guest bedroom to steady herself.
Chapter Eight
It had been three weeks since Declan had been released from prison, and he had settled into the family life with ease, picking up the role of doting and protective uncle as if it had been something he had always known.
Despite the tattoos that covered his arms and the neatly trimmed beard that covered his face, he was every bit the softie.
Justin watched his brother interact with his family, and the happy way everybody responded to having him around hurt him to see. It hurt him because the voice of blame was still in his head, whispering to him. It was his fault that Declan did not have a family of his own to love, a new generation made from his blood. There was still time, sure, but since his release, Declan had not left the house much, other than taking a long walk through the fields that surrounded their property. He seemed content with life as a free man, and that only seemed to further compound Justin’s guilt, because he knew Declan could do so much better.
Justin graduated not long after Declan had been sentenced, managing to separate this home life from school and from his future life, he passed his exams with flying colors and had his pick of universities.
Studying art and design, he had ambitions to become an illustrator, following the single core passion he had in his life. Midway through his first year, while working on a graphics module, he started to play around with some computer coding and found that designing software was very much like working on his illustrations.
He could take a blank sheet and let his imagination run wild, creating something until it matched his vision. The fact that he was creating software rather than a colorful picture was irrelevant because art was art, and all that was different was the medium used to create.
After sticking with his design course for the rest of his sophomore year, Justin decided to double up on his major, picking up a software development degree also.
He made several things during his first few years, ranging from some simple games to a more complex accounting tool that helped people keep a better record of their financial transactions, coupling in a forecasting tool that would help them analyze the past as a means of looking forward.
The tool had been a huge success, not only earning him his degree but also by becoming the core product of his company, Sav-Tech, which he founded the day of his graduation. He added two more finance tools to his suite, including a cash-handling module and a data transfer tool, which allowed him to capitalize on the surging popularity of the internet and be part of the charge into the new wave of business technology. He eventually sold Sav-Tech for more than enough millions to keep his family and entire bloodline set for a great many generations.
Retiring, he returned to his first love, drawing, and was constantly playing with merging the two, software and art, and while he had nothing that was anywhere near market ready, the surge in AI and computer learning had seen his current prototype come further than he had ever imagined.
His daughters had all inherited his love of art, but one, his middle child, Samantha, was proving to be a wizard when it came to software and understanding the core elements of design. He had even started consulting her. While she was only thirteen, there was a fountain of knowledge in her head that had helped Justin on more than one occasion.
“Uncle Declan, can you help me with this?” Chelsea asked, walking up to her uncle with a homework book in her hands.
Declan had taken a shine to helping the kids with their homework. He said it gave him a chance to kick-start his brain back into gear.
“Of course, pull up a pew and we will take a look.” Declan pulled a chair closer to where he was sitting and patted it.
Justin sat and watched them for a little while before getting up from the table and heading outside. Cassie was doing the dishes and watched him leave.
Out on the front porch, Justin pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket and stared at them. He hadn’t smoked for many years, and even then, it was never a heavy addiction. Only when something was really bothering him, usually work-related, did he resort to a cheeky smoke and the solitude offered by nature.
The back door creaked, and Justin heard someone moving up behind him. Arms wrapped around his shoulders. “Naughty, naughty,” Cassie said, giggling.
“Yeah, I know, but I needed something. I don’t know, my head’s just all over the fucking place,” Justin said, flicking the glowing embers from the end of his smoke.
“What’s wrong? Your brother is great, and he has settled right into the family.” Cassie dropped her embrace and scooted down next to Justin on the rear steps.
“That’s just it.” Justin paused, taking a deep breath, looking over his shoulder to check that nobody could overhear their conversation. “He’s settled in great, with all of you, but me … I don’t know. Lik
e I said, my head’s a mess and I just need to sort my shit out.”
“Talk to me.” Cassie put her hand on her husband’s shoulder, rubbing it in a one-handed massage.
“That’s just it. I don’ know what to say. It’s just different to what I expected. I look inside and he’s doing so well, but it just doesn’t feel like it’s my brother sitting there.” Justin looked at the cigarette burning in his hands, and suddenly, the taste was gone. With a quiet grunt of dissatisfaction, he tossed it through the air and onto the drive below. The damp ground extinguished the orange embers, slowly drowning each one, the orange glow fading like a sun setting on yet another fading habit.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s going to take some getting used to,” Cassie said as she rubbed her hands together.
“I guess. It’s just, we’ve not spent more than ten minutes together since he got out, and when we do, there’s just this silence between us. I don’t know, it just feels awkward.” Justin knew he was sounding like a whiny brat, but he had waited so long to get his brother back, and now, it just felt as though he was still waiting.
“Then talk to him about it,” Cassie said, still rubbing her hands together.
“Cold?” Justin asked, noticing the new tick for the first time.
“Yeah, I just can’t get warm recently. I think a drink will help warm me up.” She stood up and kissed Justin on the top of his head. “Talk to your brother, sort it out, and if you’re lucky, you can sort me out too.”
Justin knew what that meant. His wife was planning on getting so wasted she would jump him like a horny teenager by the time he came bed. He wasn’t going to complain; drunk sex always meant Cassie went a little bit wild.
Turning to watch her walk away, he saw Declan standing in the doorway. He was watching his brother, a sadness in his eyes breaking through from the chest where he kept them buried.
“Hey, brother,” he said, not moving from the door.
“Hey,” Justin replied feeling nervous, and guilty. He chided himself for feeling so bad.
Cave Crawlers Page 7