Threads of Hope: Quilts of Love Series

by Christa Allan

  He sighed. “It’s a curse I live with daily,” he said but couldn’t maintain his serious expression. Greg tapped his watch. “You have less than ten minutes to be stunning and ready to roll. And you’re still waltzing around in your robe.”

  “Go check on Jazarah. Oh, and please make sure she’s not trying to feed Manny. Or that he’s not curled up in her lap or—”

  “Should I be taking notes?” He looked at her with that lopsided smile she knew characterized his sarcasm.

  “No, dear. I’m the freelance writer in the family, remember? All I have to do is slip on my dress.”

  He sat on the edge of their bed. “Then maybe I’ll wait . . .”

  “Get out of here or else you’ll suffer the wrath of hormonal Elise when we arrive late.” She kissed his forehead. As he walked out, she said, “And, anyway, I know you won’t leave without me.”

  He’d told her that when he’d surprised her at the airport. Greg said that Elise and his memories provided the fuel he needed to go after his own dream. His sister had called him and asked him why he was still home. “You may not like what Nina is doing, but she’s at least going after what she thinks she wants. That takes courage. You, on the other hand . . .” He ended the conversation without letting her finish. Pacing in the den, he passed photographs of his parents and of Lily. Three people he loved, taken from him, by people and situations over which he had no control. Will you let Nina be number four? Can you live the rest of your life knowing you never let her know you loved her? He called Elise to apologize. “Accepted,” she said. “Now, get to the airport because I already booked your flight out.”

  Over vending machine canned drinks and cheese crackers near baggage claim, Greg placed two tickets on the table. “I won’t leave without you. Unless you want me to. If New York is what you want, then I’ll tear one up and be on my way. But I couldn’t let you go without telling you that what I want is a life with you.”

  Her second lesson in understanding: sometimes the answer appeared before the question. New York wasn’t just an answer to a dream, it was the stuffing that filled the void of recognition, importance, self-worth. And then what? She pictured Daniel’s and Roberta’s faces, their joy so transparent she could see their hearts. Was she afraid to be that happy?

  Her fingertips grazed the ticket. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Greg. “I don’t deserve this. Or you. I don’t even know why God would do something for me. I’ve ignored Him almost my entire life.”

  He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face to his. “None of us deserve happiness. That’s what makes it a gift. And loving us even when we’ve ignored Him? That’s why He’s God, and we’re not.”

  Elise’s pregnancy was not only a happy surprise for her, but also one for Nina who would be wearing the dress Elise had ordered for herself. A one-shouldered sheer black tulle, the dress was offset at the waist by an Art Deco enamel pin set with glass pearls and Swarovski crystal. She’d just slipped it on when Paloma’s voice came from the other side of the closet door. “Sorry to disturb you, but someone wanted to see you.”

  Nina stepped out and, as always, experienced the exquisite joy of seeing their son. His arms and legs churned the air as Paloma handed him to her. Thomas greeted her with a chorus of “ma-ma-ma-ma” with intermittent sprays from the motorboat imitation he learned from his big sister.

  Careful to avoid the pin on her dress, Nina transferred him to her hip and covered his face with kisses. He rewarded her with throaty giggles and a few more sprays, kicking his legs against her as if in a horse race. “One of these days, I suppose you’ll have hair,” she said as she caressed the blonde stubble on his head. Thomas’s eyes darted back and forth across Nina’s face. His mouth made a tiny “o” as he reached out a plump little hand and grabbed one of her diamond earrings.

  While Nina balanced him, Paloma carefully unwound his chubby fingers from around the loops Nina wore. “He’s definitely his father’s son. When he sees what he wants, he goes for it,” said Nina. “Be sweet tonight.” She kissed him on each cheek, then turned him over to Paloma.

  “Let’s read a story, Mr. Thomas,” she said. They left the room, her son babbling as if every syllable told a story.

  Nina learned another important lesson through their son. Though the death of her brother Thomas devastated the O’Malley family, the birth of her son brought a promise of healing. Her relationship with her parents was still fragile, but their grandson awakened a hope in them that had been long ago buried. She and Greg gave them tickets for the We Care benefit tonight, and they said they would attend. Aretha and Luke were picking them up to make sure because Nina did not want her parents to miss the surprise she’d planned. Threads of Hope quilted a panel in honor of Thomas, and they would be taking it with them to Washington next week.

  “Nina? We’re walking to the car . . .”

  That was her husband’s two-minute warning. Nina made one last check in the mirror. She ran her fingers through her still short layers of curls to fluff what Thomas had flattened, made sure she didn’t have lipstick on her teeth, and covered herself with one final spritz of perfume. She was about to walk away when she heard a familiar voice.

  You’re beautiful, Nina. You always were.

  She whispered, “Thank you” and went downstairs to meet Greg, Jazarah, and the future they were stitching together.

  Discussion Questions

  (Spoiler Alert!)

  1. When we first meet Nina, her single focus is the New York promotion. Is her self-worth connected to her job? Why? Do you find that, today, many people are like Nina in that they are defined by the work/career/ profession they have chosen? If so, why? If not, why not?

  2. What is Nina’s relationship with her parents, especially her mother? Is Nina judging her harshly, is Sheila a harsh judge, or both? What is it that mothers and daughters expect and want from one another? How is that different for sons, or is it?

  3. For more than ten years, Nina carries the high school incident with Greg Hernandez and his friends. What happened to this grudge over time? Did it shape the woman she became? Why is Nina holding on to those negative feelings?

  4. What does Nina see in Aretha and Daisy that led her to consider them friends? Why doesn’t either one of them or both discuss the New York decision with her? Should they have? At what point are we willing to risk the relationship with friends by honestly sharing about situations in their lives?

  5. What, if any, of the information about The AIDS Memorial Quilt is new to you? Does its size surprise you? If you were already in a city where some of the panels were being displayed, would you go to the exhibit? Why or why not?

  6. Were you already aware of the number of children who die in Third World countries because of AIDS? Would you have adopted Jazarah? Why or why not? Does it concern you that children like her are being assimilated into our schools and society at large?

  7. The stories the families shared were all different. Were they what you expected?

  8. Should Nina’s parents have told her the truth about Thomas? Were their reasons for not telling her justifiable? What would you have done in the same situation, same time? Would bringing this forward to the twenty-first century make a difference in Nina’s parents’ decision? In yours?

  9. Do you agree with Nina’s decision not to stay in New York?

  10. Greg ends their relationship when Nina tells him about going to New York. Do you think he is being unnecessarily overprotective of his daughter and her feelings?

  INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAKING A QUILT PANEL

  The NAMES Project Foundation:

  The AIDS Memorial Quilt

  Step by Step: How to Make a Panel For The Quilt

  You don’t have to be an artist or sewing expert to create a moving personal tribute remembering a life lost to AIDS, but you do have to make a panel in order to add a name to The Quilt. It’s not as complicated as many people think, though. It doesn’t matter if you use paint or fine needlework, iron
-on transfers or handmade appliqués, or even spray paint on a sheet; any remembrance is appropriate. (This is, however, the only way to have a name added to The Quilt—by making a panel to remember your lost loved one.) You may choose to create a panel privately as a personal memorial or you may choose to follow the traditions of old-fashioned quilting bees by including friends, family, and co-workers. That choice, like virtually everything else involved in making a panel, is completely up to you.

  Here, in a few easy steps, is how to create a panel for The Quilt:

  1. Design the panel

  Include the name of the person you are remembering. Feel free to include additional information such as the dates of birth and death, hometown, special talents, etc. We ask that you please limit each panel to one individual (obvious exceptions include siblings or spouses).

  2. Choose your materials

  Remember that The Quilt is folded and unfolded every time it is displayed, so durability is crucial. Since glue deteriorates with time, it is best to sew things to the panel. A medium-weight, non-stretch fabric such as a cotton duck or poplin works best.

  Your design can be vertical or horizontal, but the finished, hemmed panel must be 3 feet by 6 feet (90 cm × 180 cm)—no more and no less! When you cut the fabric, leave an extra 2-3 inches on each side for a hem. If you can’t hem it yourself, we’ll do it for you. Batting for the panels is not necessary, but backing is recommended. Backing helps to keep panels clean when they are laid out on the ground. It also helps retain the shape of the fabric.

  3. Create the panel

  In constructing your panel, you might want to use some of the following techniques:

  • Appliqué: Sew fabric, letters, and small mementos onto the background fabric. Do not rely on glue—it won’t last.

  • Paint: Brush on textile paint or colorfast dye, or use an indelible ink pen. Please don’t use “puffy” paint; it’s too sticky.

  • Stencils: Trace your design onto the fabric with a pencil, lift the stencil, then use a brush to apply textile paint or use indelible markers.

  • Collage: Make sure that whatever materials you add to the panel won’t tear the fabric (avoid glass and sequins for this reason), and be sure to avoid very bulky objects.

  • Photos: The best way to include photos or letters is to photocopy them onto iron-on transfers, iron them onto 100% cotton fabric and sew that fabric to the panel. You may also put the photo in clear plastic vinyl and sew it to the panel (off-center so it avoids the fold).

  4. Write a letter

  Please take the time to write a letter about the person you’ve remembered. The letter might include your relationship to him or her, how he or she would like to be remembered, and a favorite memory. If possible, please send us a photograph along with the letter for our archives.

  5. Make a donation

  If you are able, please make a donation to help pay for the cost of adding your panel to The Quilt. The NAMES Project Foundation depends on the support of panel makers to preserve the Quilt and keep it on display. Gifts of any amount are welcome and greatly appreciated.

  6. Fill out the panel maker information form

  This provides us with vital information about you and your panel.

  7. Send in the panel

  Once your panel is completed there are several ways you can submit it to The NAMES Project so that it becomes a part of The AIDS Memorial Quilt.

  You can send your panel to The NAMES Project Foundation or you can opt to bring the panel to a Quilt display or to a local chapter.

  Send it to us directly at The NAMES Project Foundation

  ATTN: New Panels

  The NAMES Project Foundation

  204 14TH ST NW

  ATLANTA, GA 30318-5304

  404.688.5500

  Be sure to send it by registered mail or with a carrier that will track your package. We recommend panels be shipped via Federal Express or UPS.

  Bring the panel to a Quilt display

  Please be sure to contact the local display host first for more information on how and when they are collecting new panels (many displays accept new panels only on the last day of the event, while others are prepared to accept new panels at any time during a display).

  Bring a new panel to one of our chapters

  Your panel will stay in the community for up to three months, being used for education and outreach, and then will be sent to the Foundation to be sewn into the Quilt.

  Important

  No matter how you decide to turn in a new panel, please be sure to print out the panel maker information form, fill it out, and include it with the panel. This information helps us to stay in touch with you and keep you up to date on both the panel and The Quilt.

  How your panel becomes part of The Quilt

  When a new panel arrives at our national headquarters in Atlanta, it is carefully logged and examined for durability. Some panels might require hemming to adjust for size; others may need reinforcement or minor repairs. Next, new panels are sorted—some grouped geographically by region, others by theme or appearance. When eight similar panels are collected, they are sewn together to form a twelve-foot square. This is the basic building block of The Quilt, and it is usually referred to as either a “12-by-12” or “Block.”

  Once sewn, each 12-by-12 is edged in canvas and given a unique number, its “Block Number,” which makes tracking the block possible. All panel, panel maker, and numerical information is then stored in our Quilt databases. Once this happens, you are sent information including which block the panel you submitted has been made a part of, how to request the block for displays of The Quilt, and a current display schedule.

  The entire process, from our receiving the panel to incorporating it into a 12-by-12 in The AIDS Memorial Quilt, typically takes between three and six months.

  Questions

  “The only dumb question is the question you have but never ask!” Email questions to: panels@aidsquilt.org or call Roddy Williams, Panel Maker Relations, or Gert McMullin, Production Manager, at 404.688.5500.

  For information on panel making workshops contact: Jada Harris at 404-688-5500 ext. 228 or email jharris@aidsquilt.org.

  PANEL-MAKER PARTNER BUDDY SYSTEM

  The NAMES Project Foundation is launching a new Panel-maker Partner buddy system that will pair volunteers with individuals wanting to make a panel for the Quilt. Creating a panel on your own might seem daunting but with the help of a partner the process is suddenly much more manageable. This is a way you can ensure that a friend or loved one lives on as part of this epic handmade memorial—the largest piece of community folk art in the world and one of our most powerful HIV prevention education tools. If you are interested, a member of The NAMES Project Staff will contact you for further information and to find out how you would like to share the process. (See www.aidsquilt.org/callmyname for a link to the form.)

  CALL MY NAME PROJECT

  Call My Name is a program designed to draw attention to a public health crisis by fostering the creation of new panels for The AIDS Memorial Quilt made by African Americans in honor of their friends, family, and community members who have died of AIDS. With the introduction of The AIDS Memorial Quilt, The NAMES Project redefined the tradition of quilt making in response to contemporary circumstances. Call My Name uses this model and through hands-on, panel-making activity brings people and communities together to remember loved ones, grieve, find support and strength, and engage in dialogues for change. Call My Name also enhances The NAMES Project’s ability to collect and display greater numbers of panels that reflect the epidemic’s impact within the African American community. As a result, Quilt prevention, education and awareness programs have greater capacity to deliver even more cultural relevance and provide poignant personal connections for African American men, women, and children who see it. (See http://www.aidsquilt.org/callmyname.)

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  We hope you enjoyed Threads of Hope and that you will continue to read the Quilts of Love series of books from Abingdon Press. Here’s an excerpt from the next book in the series, Angela Breidenbach’s A Healing Heart.

  1

  Why in the world did I agree to do this?”

  Mara Keegan’s vision blurred as she stared at the old photo she’d picked from the box for the first block on Cadence’s memory quilt. David’s arm curled tightly around her pregnant waist, his other balanced a precocious three-year-old Cadence, and one-year-old Toby grinned up into his mommy’s eyes. Louie, the new family border collie/lab pup sat at their feet ready to catch Toby’s graham cracker.

  A smile stole across Mara’s lips. Louie nabbed that cracker and Toby wailed, right after the shutter clicked. But the picture captured the split-second happy moment forever. The perfect family with so much promise. A promise broken off prematurely by a whimsical God.

  Mara’s smile faded. She glanced over toward her sleeping fourteen-year-old dog curled up on one of his favorite oversized mutt mats. He’d been with their family since the early days. His black muzzle sported more white around his nose now. Louie seemed like the bridge from past to present as she looked back at the first picture. When would she be ready to try love again? Did she even need it? She broke out in a sweat in spite of the cold wind blowing the last of December past her windows. Not until she could trust God again. How could it have all gone so wrong? The wind gust whooshed against her office door and rattled the inset glass.