Blue Hollow Falls

by Donna Kauffman

  Sawyer? She carefully lowered the bundle of petunialike flowers and set the root ball next to the hole she’d dug for it, realizing it would have to be deeper, then slid her garden gloves off and snagged the phone before she could change her mind. “Hello?”

  “Well, hey there, plant lady.” It wasn’t Sawyer.

  “Hey, llama guy,” she said, smiling easily while telling herself she was not disappointed. She hadn’t spoken to Sawyer in over a week. Not since leaving Blue Hollow Falls. And she knew that was for the best. They really didn’t have anything to talk about, and chatting for the sake of chatting would just make things worse. Because she enjoyed talking with him. Enormously. He made her laugh and he made her think. Their conversations were always interesting, insightful even. So no, it was a really good thing it wasn’t Sawyer calling. She didn’t need any more reasons to fall for him than the ones she already had. “What’s going on?”

  “Sorry to bother you on your day off.”

  “It’s Tuesday. How did you know I was off?”

  “I might have called your work number first.”

  “And how did you have—”

  “I might just seem like your average llama-owning vintner,” he interrupted, “but back in the day, when I was wearing a service uniform, I was actually known as the technology cyberoptics guy.”

  “Ah. So you’re saying you hacked me. I feel a lot safer now.”

  “Actually, I just asked Addie.”

  She laughed, found herself grinning. “So, what’s up? Everything okay out there in Hollowland?”

  “Great, actually. Progress on the mill is flying now. Now that the roof is done and the interior framing finished, we’re boot scooting right along.”

  “That’s good news. I know from Addie that you all feel good about that progress with winter getting closer and closer. She told me Will is starting on the fireplace, and that’s the last thing that is really weather sensitive.”

  “Ah, so you’ve been keeping in touch. That’s good to hear.”

  She was still smiling, but definitely curious now. Seth might be an inveterate flirt and seem like a casual kind of guy, but to hear Addie tell it, he was also working every bit as hard as Sawyer on the mill, when he really didn’t have to. His winery was still in the start-up stage, but it was and would always be separate from the Bluebird Crafters Guild. He’d be marketing his wine via the mill shop eventually, when he had wine, and it was true that creating a tourist destination out of Blue Hollow Falls would help his winery as well, but again, according to Addie, he was putting in additional long hours on his farm to accomplish things there that were also weather sensitive. So she’d been right about him being good friend material. “Yes, well, more Addie than me, I’m afraid. She likes to chat. She just discovered FaceTime, so that’s been interesting.”

  Seth laughed. “You have me to blame for that I’m afraid. Now that we have her Web site up and running, she’s become curious about all the other technologies out there.”

  “Yes,” Sunny said, “she’s pestering me to get an Instagram account so I can see the photos she’s posting about the mill progress.”

  “You should,” he told her. “You might surprise yourself. I’m sure folks would like to see photos of the work you’re doing as well.”

  Sunny wanted to tell him she didn’t have “folks.” Well, other than Stevie, but she got to see firsthand the work Sunny was doing. “I’ll think about it,” she told him, not sure she would. “So, you’re calling as Addie’s technology pusher?”

  “No, I’m calling to invite you to a party.”

  That stopped her cold. “Oh. I—uh, that’s really nice of you, but—”

  “Don’t blow me off before you hear what the party is about.”

  “I wasn’t going to—”

  “You were, but that’s okay. And don’t worry, it’s not like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “I’m not asking you on a date.”

  “Oh. Okay,” she said, relieved. He was sounding far too amused by her stuttering reaction, though, so her guard was still up.

  “Thanks,” he said, chuckling. “My ego is lying on the ground now, whimpering, but don’t you worry about that.”

  She laughed now. “I’m sorry. It’s just—you caught me off guard. I’m elbow deep in replanting and—I am sorry.”

  “No worries. You can make it up to me later.” He went on before she could form a reply to that one. “I’m calling as a fellow citizen of Blue Hollow Falls to invite you to our community party. Halloween is around the bend and we’re going to throw a little open house shindig at the mill to celebrate. Actually, Halloween is just the excuse we’re using. Everyone has been working hard for months now, and I thought it would be nice to give the guys and their family members a little break, have some fun before the weather turns brutal on us.”

  “Well, thank you for the invite. That’s kind, especially considering I haven’t done any of the hard work.”

  “You didn’t stop the hard work. And you do own part of the place. Seems fitting to me.”

  “It’s very thoughtful of you. I’ll admit, I’m surprised Addie didn’t mention it.”

  “Well, uh, maybe it slipped her mind.”

  Sunny’s brows knitted together. “What are you not telling me, Seth Brogan?”

  “Wow. I’m glad you don’t know my middle name or that would have been a scary mom flashback. Of course, no one could trot out the first-middle-last name, plus communion name if you were really in it, while simultaneously putting the fear of God into you, like my dear sainted mum.” He’d said all of that with a dead-on Irish lilt.

  Sunny laughed. “Sounds like a woman I’d like to meet.”

  “Lord help us all if you ever have the chance.”

  “Aw, don’t be picking on your mother now.”

  “If Saint Mary Shannon Kathleen ever decides to wing her way east, I’d be the first one on the tarmac to meet her plane. But it’s a fair warning I give ye, lass,” he said, in full brogue now. “If you think Addie is a champion meddler, you’ve never met me mum.”

  “Ah, well, then. Maybe you have a point.” She eased out of the crouch she’d been in, plopped herself down on the grass, and folded her legs. “And if you think you’ve distracted me from my earlier question, you would be sadly mistaken.”

  He chuckled. “Dammit.”

  “Exactly. So, let’s start with you telling me why Addie really hasn’t mentioned this party to me. Is it because she doesn’t know about it? And if so, why? Are you afraid she’d step in and take over the planning? Because that sounds like it would be a good thing. She’s the head of the guild after all.”

  “Yes, she doesn’t know about it. And no, it’s not because I don’t want her help. In fact, she’ll be my next call.”

  “But I was your first call?” She tucked her feet farther under her legs and propped her elbows on her knees, heedless of the muck she was probably getting all over the back of her jeans. She’d never minded getting dirty. “So, tell me, what’s really going on?”

  “Will you come? Not this Saturday, but next.”

  She pursed her lips, trying to figure out what the game was here. “Does Sawyer know about the party?”

  “He’s not much of a party guy,” Seth said, by way of response.

  “But if it’s a thank-you party for everyone who has pitched in and worked so hard, surely he’ll be there.”

  “I imagine so, yes. Is that—will that be a problem?”

  Now it was her turn to squirm a little. “Problem? No,” she said, possibly too quickly. “Of course not. Why would it?” Stop talking.

  The teasing humor was back in his voice when he said, “Great. Then we can expect to see you there? I’m sure Addie won’t mind if you stay with her, but I have a spare room if needed.”

  “I’m sure you do,” she said, giving it right back to him, grinning when he hooted. “But before I say yes, one last question.”

  “Ask me anythin
g, plant lady.”

  “Does anyone else know about this little party you’re planning?”

  “Can I plead the Fifth on that one?”

  “I think you just did.”

  “Sunny—”

  “Why?” she asked. “That’s all I want to know. What’s the real plan here?”

  “I really do want to do something for everyone who has been pitching in. Addie will love it, and I know that Sawyer will be on board. I’m not saying you should hold your breath about seeing him in costume, but—”

  “Costume? I have to dress in costume?”

  “What good is a Halloween party without costumes?”

  “I could give you a list.”

  Seth laughed outright. “I can see why you and Sawyer get along so well.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “My own two eyes,” he said. “I was here when you came by last week to get those papers signed. A blind man might not have seen, but I’m not blind. And even a blind man would still have felt the heat.”

  Now she squirmed a little. “You’re being—”

  “Serious,” he said, and actually sounded it as well. “I’ve also talked to Sawyer, so I know whereof I speak.”

  “And that’s what prompted this party idea?”

  “Yes.”

  His honesty surprised her, but she was glad to be getting to the root of it. “To what end? What is the desired result here?”

  “To provide an opportunity for the two of you to get over whatever obstacles you’ve put up between yourselves. And, frankly, to give the rest of us back the guy we used to know and love. Because, at the moment, that guy would just as soon snap your head off as look at you.”

  “And that’s my fault?”

  “No, that’s because he needs to get laid.”

  Her mouth dropped open, but no words came out.

  “He also needs you. And since we’re all adults here, I’ll say that I was hoping you could kill both of those birds, if you know what I mean.”

  “I don’t think you could be any clearer,” she said, not sure if she should be pissed off, insulted, or admire the guy for doing something about the problem. Unlike her or Sawyer, who apparently were prepared to sit and endlessly stew in their own juices, as it were, rather than even attempt to find a solution. “And where, exactly, did you think this tryst was going to take place? On his cot there in the mill? On Addie’s fold-out couch?”

  “I—uh—” He broke off then, and she heard him cough to clear his throat.

  She smiled, not unhappy to have made him choke a little. Fair was fair. “Seth, I appreciate that you’re trying to help a friend. I might suggest you don’t mention it to Sawyer, though. I’m thinking he might not take your suggestion quite in the spirit it was intended, which is how I plan to take it.”

  “Good, that’s, ah—thanks. I wasn’t trying to insult you. I’ve known Sawyer a long time, and he’s . . .” He trailed off then, paused, and finally said, “You two should talk. That’s all I was really trying to make happen.”

  “You could have just told me that.”

  “Maybe. But a social occasion where it isn’t just about the two of you seems like the better plan. Relax a little, enjoy a little spiked punch, let your walls down a bit.”

  “Now I have walls?”

  He laughed. “Other than the one I just ran into, you mean?”

  She couldn’t help it, she smiled. It was impossible to stay mad at him, or even be mad at him. “And then what?” she asked instead. “I mean, so I drive down, we socialize, walls are lowered, one thing leads to another, we reduce each other’s frustration levels, and then? I drive three hours back to my home, to my life, and my work here that I love, and he continues working on building a life for himself and half of his hometown and . . . what does that do? What does that change? Other than create all kinds of new frustrations.”

  “Stop being so rational,” he groused.

  She laughed. “I know. It’s such a pain when reality intrudes into fantasy. Listen, I know you’re trying to do what you think is right by him, and by me. You and I don’t know each other all that well, but I want you to know that I appreciate it. I think you’re a good friend to have, Seth Brogan. I thought that about you when we first met.”

  “Thank you for not hanging up on me. You’re being a good friend, too. I probably could have gone about this better. I am just trying to help. I just think that choices aren’t all carved in stone. Some are just that. Choices.”

  “Agreed. And one of my choices is not to get involved in a long-distance relationship. Another choice is not to further complicate what is already a fairly unconventional family dynamic.”

  “Did you ever stop to think that maybe the two of you being together would actually simplify it?”

  She hadn’t expected him to keep pushing, and she didn’t want to consider that there might be something to what he was saying. She’d made up her mind, hadn’t she? “That still doesn’t resolve the long-distance part. Sawyer is where he belongs. With Addie, and now Bailey. He’s home.”

  “Blue Hollow Falls is a pretty welcoming place,” was all he said. “Folks welcomed me. It’s my home now.”

  “My home is here. My work is here.”

  “Life is more than work, Sunny. Even if it’s work you love. I’m a living testament to that. Why do you think I’m spending so much time helping with the reconstruct?”

  “Have you ever been in love?”

  That stopped him. But not for long. “I’ve been in a lot of things,” was all he said. “I’ve seen enough of the world, of people, to know what is truly important, where the real gratification comes from, what true contentment is, and why it’s worth fighting for.”

  She hadn’t expected such soulful, sincere wisdom from him. Who would have thought Seth Brogan was a thinker, too? So she spoke from her own place of absolute truth in response. He deserved that much. “I can’t begin to imagine all that you have seen or done. You or Sawyer. I can only speak to my own life, my own experience. That’s all any of us can do. And my truth, at this moment anyway, is that there is very little grounding me to what my world was almost nine months ago. Since then, I’ve felt very . . . untethered. And while there is good in that, freedom in that, there’s also a lot that feels . . .” She trailed off, unsure if she could find the words to describe it.

  “Sunny—”

  “Like if I let go of any other part of me, I might just spin away,” she said, pushing on, needing to get it out. Not so much for him, she realized, but for herself. “My home, my work . . . they ground me. I know what I’m about with them, what my role is, and I relish that. Cling to it, even. That might sound a little overly dramatic, and hearing myself say it . . . it kind of does. I’m not flighty and I’m not unhappy. I miss my mother. I do not miss taking care of her. I love what I do. I don’t know what else I’d do. So, for now, I need to stick with that. And I know the rest will sort itself out. Because that’s what time does. What having the freedom to choose does. And I have both now. So, that’s what I choose, Seth.”

  There was a long pause, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It told her he was listening, and thinking about what she’d said. That made her not only want to hear his response; it made her care about it, too.

  “Relationships always involve some kind of compromise,” he said at length, his tone steady, measured, and most importantly, kind. “Sometimes one person has to give more than the other, but that’s where the true strength lies. Knowing you can count on the other to be there when you need it, shift gears, even make sacrifices if necessary, because you’d do the same for them, and will probably need to at some point. You are right that what Sawyer is doing is for more than just his own future. So he’s well and truly tethered at the moment. Happily so, but still, that’s the way of it.” He paused, as if he was debating saying the rest.

  “It’s okay,” she told him quietly. “Go on.”

  “You’re finally untethered. And it makes sense t
o not completely let go of what ties you have left. At least until you know what you’d be reaching for if you did. But you can’t know what’s worth letting go for if you don’t open yourself up to what’s out there. So, I guess what I’m saying is . . . think about whether Sawyer might be someone who’s worth getting to know more about. Whether or not he turns out to be worth changing for, only you can decide. He was worth it for me.”

  He paused again, but she kept silent, letting him find his words, wanting to hear the rest. “My life, my roots, my ties, were all in Seattle,” he said. “That’s what felt safe when I got out of the service, and I couldn’t really imagine going anywhere else. Like you, I felt very untethered. Sawyer convinced me to at least come out to Virginia and see what was what. He knew I’d dreamed of starting my own vineyard, but to me, that was pie in the sky. He pushed me, pretty hard, actually, to reach for it, because after all we’d done, all we’d survived, why the hell not? So, while it seemed like a big risk in some ways . . . I gave up a great job offer in the technology sector, something I knew I was good at, would do well at, even if I can’t exactly call it a passion like yours. But it offered security, and familiarity, and had the added benefit of putting me back near my family again, my old friends.”

  He took a breath, then said, “In other ways, moving lock, stock, and wine barrel to Virginia wasn’t a risk at all. I mean, it wasn’t like I had to worry about stepping on a land mine, you know? I’d taken risks with my life. My actual life. Every day. And I was worried about moving to Virginia? That’s what Sawyer made me see. And I’d trusted him with my life. More than once. So I trusted him again. And now I have an entirely different kind of freedom, one I really couldn’t have imagined. I am doing something I am passionate about, even if there is zero security in it, and while I love my family, they can be suffocating, and I know they’d have talked me into keeping the secure job, even if I hated it. And I would have, especially after spending years risking my life in my last one. And the thing is, they’re happy for me. Excited for me. They know I’m doing what I should be doing. But I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t taken the chance to find out.”