Bedding Lord Ned

by Sally MacKenzie

  “Don’t be disgusting. I just don’t believe a helter-skelter approach is the best plan.” Ash shrugged. “I’m trying to think like Mama to figure out where she might have hidden the damn things.”

  “Now there’s a frightening notion,” Ned said. “I suspect even Father can’t divine the workings of Mama’s mind.”

  The storerooms ran the length of the castle and were a series of chambers crammed full of chairs, tables, clothes, statues, paintings, and other odds and ends. Ned had long ago decided his ancestors never threw anything away; they just consigned it to the dungeon.

  He and Ash and Jack—and Ellie and Cicely and Percy and Jess—had never tired of exploring the vast, odd collection of cast-offs. He smiled at the battered, one-armed knight propped against the wall in one corner.

  “Ah, here’s Sir Gawain,” he said. He stepped closer. “And his right arm is still on the floor beside him.”

  Ash laughed. “Thank God it was his arm and not mine.”

  Ned nodded. When Ash and Percy had been ten or so, they’d pretended to battle with some staves they’d found against another wall. As too often happened, Percy forgot they were pretending—fortunately Sir Gawain, rather than Ash, had paid the price.

  “Our thanks, sir knight,” Ned said, and lifted the visor as he’d used to do. A red, heart-shaped piece of paper fluttered out.

  “Aha,” Jack said from where he was poking into the drawers of a broken washstand. “You’ve found the first heart. Is there a clue on it?”

  Ned turned the scrap of paper over. “No, there doesn’t appear to be.”

  “Too bad. I was hoping—” Jack stopped as they heard a squeal from another room.

  “Damn.” Ash let out a long breath. “Which female was that?”

  “Unfortunately for me, it sounded like Miss Wharton. She makes a rather distinctive sound.” Jack closed the last drawer and moved away from the washstand. “You know, Ash, I think Ophelia is helping Lady Heldon.”

  “I’m afraid you’re right. Percy probably put her up to it for Lord knows what purpose.” Ash’s voice was calm, but Ned heard the current of anger running deep in it. While none of them liked Percy, Ash truly detested the fellow. “But as you keep pointing out, I’m already married, so the widow can’t do much more than annoy me. Miss Wharton, however, does seem determined to make you her husband.”

  “Don’t I know it,” Jack said glumly.

  “Here.” Ned handed Jack the paper heart. “You need this more than I do.”

  “I’ve found one; I’ve found one!” Miss Wharton plucked a paper heart from the jaws of a snarling lion epergne and performed a squealing pirouette, knocking a large, hideous, blue and red china dog with her elbow.

  Ellie lunged and caught it before it plunged off the edge of the table.

  “How exciting.” Miss Mosely put down the brass candlestick she’d been examining and sighed. “I wish I could find a heart.”

  “Now, now, Miss Mosely,” Mr. Humphrey said, “do not despair. We are only just beginning the game—I have no doubt you’ll be successful, too.” He pushed the garish yellow sofa he’d been looking behind back against the wall and nodded at Miss Wharton. “Well done, Miss Wharton.”

  “Yes, indeed. Brava!” Percy clapped slowly and a bit mockingly, Ellie thought, but he was also smiling. Miss Wharton grinned back at him, far too excited to notice any sort of criticism.

  “I’ve always loved treasure hunts.” She stuffed the heart in her pocket. “They are so much fun.” She almost ran to the next room; Mr. Humphrey and Miss Mosely followed at a slightly more sedate pace.

  “Such exuberance!” Lady Heldon raised an eyebrow. “I almost feel as if I’m back among the nursery set.”

  Ophelia sniggered. “Miss Wharton is far too old for the nursery.”

  “Indeed,” Lady Heldon said. “There’s a reason—or should I say many reasons—that she finds herself on the shelf.”

  “I don’t know, Miranda,” Percy said. “I find her enthusiasm refreshing.”

  Lady Heldon stared at him and then shrugged. “I can’t believe I heard you correctly, Percy—the girl’s worse than the greenest debutante. However, that’s neither here nor there. At present she is very determined and either very good at searching or very lucky. We need to do better if I’m to get Lord Ashton into that sleigh with me.”

  “Keep your voice down, Miranda.” Percy glanced at Ellie; she pretended to examine the china dog. There was a large ridge around its middle—ah, yes, she remembered. It was hollow inside.

  Lady Heldon sniffed. “Very well. I don’t know why we are standing here talking anyway. Come on.” She strode into the next room.

  Now why did Percy care if Lady Heldon rode with Ash? Ellie watched him and Ophelia leave, and then glanced over at Mr. Cox and Lady Juliet on the other side of the room to see if they’d overheard the odd conversation. Lady Juliet was rummaging through a pile of old cooking pans, making quite a racket; Mr. Cox had his head inside a wardrobe. Likely neither had caught Lady Heldon’s words.

  She should warn Ash, but what would she warn him about? He knew Lady Heldon was pursuing him—everyone did. She hadn’t been at all subtle about it, though what she wanted, since he already had a wife, was a puzzle. Perhaps she was just looking for some bed sport, but one would think she’d be more discreet with the duke and duchess observing her. And why Ash? Surely there were plenty of men in London willing to entertain her.

  But perhaps the biggest question was why the duchess had invited the woman at all. She must know Lady Heldon’s reputation.

  Ellie looked back down at the ugly dog in her hands. Ned had hidden a toad in it once when he was eight and she was six. He’d given it to her to open, hoping she’d scream, but she hadn’t. Cicely had, though.

  She sighed. Even if she found all the hearts and chose to ride with Ned in the sleigh, it wouldn’t make a difference. He’d likely discuss staffing issues at Linden Hall or, worse, reminisce about Cicely and their childhood while they were alone together.

  “Miss Bowman.”

  Ellie jumped and almost dropped the dog. Mr. Cox had come up to her while she’d been lost in thought. She definitely needed to start paying more attention to her surroundings. “You startled me.”

  “My apologies.” He bent close, touching her arm. She tried to shift away, but she bumped up against the table.

  Smile, she told herself. Flirt. This man could be your ticket to children.

  Her body refused to cooperate.

  He was handsome, damn it. He’d make handsome children. What was the matter with her?

  He was standing far too near as he examined the epergne. His sleeve almost brushed her bodice. She tried to draw a deep breath.

  He smelled a bit, er, sour. Not dirty, just ... unappealing. Perhaps it was the soap he used.

  She leaned back a little more and held the dog in front of her like a shield.

  “I can see why this object was consigned to the cellar,” he said, smiling at her in an uncomfortably intimate way. “Having a lion snarling at me during dinner would quite put me off my feed.”

  She should be happy, not uncomfortable. She tried to smile back. “It isn’t very attractive, is it?” She glanced across the room to try to get at least the illusion of space and saw the lion wasn’t the only thing snarling. Lady Juliet looked as if she would love to tear Ellie limb from limb.

  “I don’t suppose the duchess would have hidden another heart so close to the one Miss Wharton found,” Mr. Cox said, his breath stirring the tendrils of hair by Ellie’s ear.

  She shivered. His words buzzed and tickled like an annoying fly; she clutched the china dog tighter to keep from swatting him. “No, I don’t suppose she would have.” Why wouldn’t the man step away? She could give him a good shove, but that certainly wouldn’t advance her matrimonial aspirations.

  More to the point, how could she expect to have children if she couldn’t bear to be this close to their potential father? An even greater degree
of proximity was required to achieve motherhood, if she understood the process correctly.

  “Oh, Lord Edward!”

  Lady Juliet’s saccharine tone caused Ellie to snap her head around. Ned stood in the doorway, Ash and Jack behind him. Ash’s expression was, as always, carefully neutral, but Jack’s damn eyebrows shot up as he looked from her to Cox.

  Ned simply glared at her, his nostrils flaring as Mr. Cox leaned even closer. She could literally feel the man breathing down her neck.

  “I’ve been wondering where you were,” Lady Juliet said, latching on to Ned’s arm. “Have you come to help me find some hearts?”

  Ned smiled down at her, blast it. “I am happy to assist you in whatever way I can, Lady Juliet.”

  “Oh, good. You must know everything down here. Where do you think your mother would have hidden the hearts?”

  Ned glanced at Ellie again. “Lady Juliet,” he said, “believe me when I say I can’t begin to comprehend my mother’s mind.”

  “Mama is a deep one,” Jack agreed, coming over to examine the epergne also.

  “Miss Wharton has already found the heart that was between the lion’s jaws,” Mr. Cox said, shifting a little so Ellie could almost straighten.

  Jack nodded. “Doubtless that was the shriek we heard.”

  “She was very excited,” Ellie said. “She—”

  Miss Wharton’s distinctive squeal sounded again.

  “She’s found another.” Jack scowled at the lion. “She’ll have them all in short order.”

  “She will not. Come along, Lord Edward.” Lady Juliet dragged Ned with her. “We may need to skip ahead a room, since Miss Wharton seems to have the devil’s own luck. You don’t think the duchess did give her some hints, do you?”

  “Good God, I hope not,” Jack muttered as Ned and Lady Juliet left.

  “Since this room seems to have been thoroughly searched, I’ll go along as well,” Ash said. “Coming, Cox?”

  “I suppose so.” Mr. Cox offered Ellie his arm. “Shall we, Miss Bowman?”

  “If you don’t mind, Cox, I’d like a word with Ellie,” Jack said. “Alone,” he added when Mr. Cox made no effort to move.

  Mr. Cox raised his eyebrows. “Oh? Is that quite proper, Lord Jack?”

  Jack snorted. “Good God, man, don’t be an idiot. Besides the fact that I’ve got only one good arm”—he gestured toward his sling—“Ellie and I grew up together. She’d not hesitate a moment to box my ears if I did anything to annoy her—or bash me over the head with that china dog she’s holding.” He looked at Ellie. “Isn’t that right, Ellie?”

  “I’d be boxing your ears or bashing your head constantly, Jack, if that were true.” Ellie laughed. “Go on, Mr. Cox. I don’t know what you think could happen within shouting distance of a crowd of people—Miss Wharton has certainly demonstrated how sound travels down here—but I am completely safe with Lord Jack in any case.”

  “Very well.” Mr. Cox bowed and took himself off.

  “Zounds, Ellie,” Jack said as soon as the man had departed, “you don’t mean to have him, do you? He’s pretty enough to look at, I suppose—he’s quite the dashing devil in Town—but he’s damn annoying. A bit of a rogue, really.”

  “And that’s saying a lot, coming from you.”

  Jack rolled his eyes. “Very funny.” His expression grew serious. “I’d have wagered you’d take my boring brother over him.”

  Heat flooded Ellie’s cheeks, and she looked down quickly to avoid Jack’s probing gaze. She thought of putting the china dog back on the table, but decided it felt rather comforting and solid in her hands. “It doesn’t much matter what I want; Ned’s not going to give me the choice.” Not that she could be assured that Mr. Cox would offer for her, either.

  “I know Ned is a little slow—”

  “He told me he thinks of me as a sister, Jack.”

  “Egad.” Jack’s jaw dropped.

  Ellie tapped it with her finger. “You’ll catch flies if you aren’t careful.”

  Jack snapped his mouth closed. “Ned’s blockheaded-ness never ceases to amaze me. The man’s as thick as these castle walls.”

  It was nice to have Jack’s support, but Jack couldn’t make Ned love her the way she wanted him to.

  “And I really think Mr. Cox is more interested in Lady Juliet than me,” she said. There was still Mr. Humphrey, but he appeared to be developing a fast friendship with Miss Mosely. Sadly, it looked as if she would fail yet again to make a match, even with the Duchess of Love’s best efforts.

  “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  So much for Jack’s support.

  “No, don’t look at me like that. There were rumors in Town that Cox asked for the girl’s hand, and her father turned him down flat. Apparently the fifth son of an earl isn’t good enough for the daughter of a duke.”

  “Or perhaps Lady Juliet simply didn’t wish to marry Mr. Cox. She seems to be interested in Ned.” Though there had been that odd scene before they’d all retired last night ...

  No, she would not read anything into that.

  “Zeus, yes, she does look determined to ensnare Ned, doesn’t she?” Jack shook his head. “Doesn’t she realize Ned will bury her in the country? He never goes to London; she’s hardly ever out of Town. Cox really will suit her much better.”

  “But if she loves Ned—”

  Jack snorted. “Lady Juliet love Ned? I don’t think so. I suspect the only person she loves is herself. Hopefully my beef-witted brother will realize that before he proposes.” He cleared his throat. “In point of fact, I always thought you’d make Ned a good second wife, Ellie.”

  “Ah. Er.” Jack hadn’t said what she thought he’d said, had he? “But I just told you—Ned thinks of me as a sister.”

  “I don’t believe that for a moment. Oh, he may think he thinks that, but that’s only because he hasn’t allowed himself to consider you in any other light. He couldn’t, could he? You were his wife’s closest friend.” Jack shrugged. “He couldn’t let himself see how eager you were to marry him.”

  Perhaps she could just expire here in the dungeon. There was so much clutter, no one would notice one mummified old maid added to the disorder. “Oh, no, I—”

  “Admit it, Ellie. You’ve been yearning for Ned ever since Cicely died.” Jack moved a candlestick and looked at her sideways. “And maybe even before.”

  Her stomach knotted, and for a dreadful instant she was seriously afraid she’d cast up her accounts. If Jack had noticed, the entire neighborhood had. Everyone must have been whispering about her and very likely pitying her. How could she—

  No. If everyone had been talking, Mama or one of her sisters would have heard and told her.

  “Are you all right?”

  She blinked. She’d almost forgotten Jack was there. He was staring at her, his brow furrowed, his eyes dark with concern.

  “Yes. I’m f-fine.” She looked down at the china dog and took a deep breath. Jack could not know anything for certain. “I never tried to come between Cicely and Ned.”

  Well, except for the red silk dress, but fortunately no one but Papa and Mama and her sisters had seen that.

  “Yes, more’s the pity.”

  “What?!” Ellie jerked—and almost dropped the poor china dog.

  Jack shrugged. “I kept hoping until the moment Ned said ‘I do’ that you’d somehow manage to keep him from marrying Cicely.”

  She gripped the china dog harder—she had to hold on to something. “But Cicely was perfect for Ned. Everyone said so.”

  Jack grimaced. “I didn’t. I thought her revoltingly namby-pamby. She never had an opinion of her own, except when she insisted on coming back to Greycliffe to give birth. And she brought Percy into the family, who even Ned would agree is a very dirty dish.”

  Ellie’s head was spinning. Jack hadn’t liked Cicely? But everyone had liked Cicely. “She couldn’t help Percy.”

  “No, and she couldn’t help that her mother was a tyra
nt and her father a bully. I suppose it’s no wonder she was such a bland, insipid creature.”

  “Ned loved her.” Jack was the wild Valentine. Of course he’d find Cicely dull.

  “I’ll grant you he was besotted. Cicely was beautiful in a fragile sort of way, and Ned was only twenty-two, with no Town bronze. The fact that she was the complete opposite of Jess probably helped, too.”

  “Jess?” She couldn’t follow Jack at all. “What does Jess have to do with it?”

  Jack looked at her as though she were a complete widgeon. “Think about it, Ellie. Jess was notoriously strong-willed, and Ash had left her at Blackweith. Their marriage was a deuced disaster. It’s no wonder Ned found a quiet, biddable girl attractive.”

  Ellie shook her head. She couldn’t let Jack confuse her. “Ned and Cicely were very happy together.”

  “Were they?” He shrugged. “Perhaps, but I doubt it would have lasted. They were married less than a year, remember. I’ll wager if Cicely had lived, Ned would have grown heartily sick of her.”

  “No.” Jack knew nothing of love—or at least the kind of love that mattered. “You must be mistaken.”

  “If you say so.” He grinned at her. “Frankly, I’m far more interested in my own marital situation than I am in Ned’s.”

  This was a surprise. “You want to marry?”

  “No, I most definitely do not want to marry—which is why I’ve come to you.”

  “Oh.” Ellie tasted bitterness. “Yes, I am definitely the expert on not getting married.”

  “Don’t be an idiot. You could have wed many times over if you’d wanted to. I’ve been at these infernal gatherings; I’ve watched you hang on Ash’s every word. Not that Ash isn’t a fine fellow, but he’s not that interesting.”

  “But—”

  “And I’ve watched your suitors find solace with other female guests while Mama gnashes her teeth in frustration.”

  “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “Am I?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

  Ellie looked back down at the dog. He was right about her taking refuge in Ash’s company, but he must be wrong about the rest ... though Ned and the duchess had said much the same thing.