Secret's Out

by Chrissie Perry

  ‘But Casey liking Dylan isn’t really a secret,’ Ivy protested. ‘You all know who I like, and that’s not such a big deal, is it?’

  ‘No,’ Nina said, ‘but you don’t mind that everyone knows who you like. If Casey didn’t want anyone to know who she likes, then Tamsin shouldn’t have told! And stop rolling your eyes, Ivy. It’s really rude!’

  It was like a ping-pong game, but with words instead of a little white ball. Ivy kept sticking up for Tamsin. Nina kept sticking up for Casey.

  It was seriously weird how Tamsin hadn’t said a word, and neither had Casey.

  Casey sneaked a look at Tamsin. But Tamsin’s head seemed to be stuck in her hands, and she didn’t look up.

  Suddenly Ivy grabbed Tamsin’s hand and pulled her up to standing. ‘Come on, Tamsin,’ she said. ‘Let’s go and play by ourselves.’

  The rest of the day was awful. Every time Casey thought about what she’d said to Tamsin, she felt sick to her stomach.

  Whenever Casey tried to steal a glance at Tamsin, Tamsin would look away.

  Whenever she tried to look at Ivy, Ivy stared back with her eyebrows raised.

  During maths class, the problems on the sheet seemed impossible. Casey wasn’t sure whether to add, subtract, multiply or divide.

  Later, when they were supposed to be writing a diary entry about the Italian lunch, Casey’s page stayed completely blank. She kept on imagining how good it would be if she could just write down the horrible thing she had said in pencil, and then rub it out. As though she could totally erase what she’d said from everybody’s memory.

  ‘Come on, Casey, get writing,’ Mrs Withers said, standing behind her.

  Casey nodded. She put her pencil to the page and started writing. Mrs Withers was right. She just had to get on with it.

  Casey wrote about what it was like to serve out all that food. She wrote about the long queue, and chatting with Holly and Olivia. She even wrote about spilling Dylan’s bolognaise sauce on the ground.

  But as she was writing, Casey was thinking more about the things that she was leaving out of her diary entry than the things she was putting in there.

  There was no way she could write about what had happened with Tamsin after she’d finished serving. It was confusing enough just thinking about it.

  It was so upsetting that Tamsin had told the others her secret. A part of Casey still felt cross about it. But she also felt cross with herself. Really, really cross. She hadn’t even meant to say that horrible thing to Tamsin. She actually thought Tamsin’s dookie was kind of cute.

  Casey felt like she and her friends were on a kind of see-saw. On one side, there was Tamsin telling everyone Casey’s secret. On the other side, there was Casey being mean to Tamsin. And it was like Ivy had jumped onto Tamsin’s end, and Nina had jumped onto Casey’s.

  Casey bit her lip. How are we ever going to get off this see-saw?

  ‘Hey, Case, how about some old-fashioned popcorn?’ her mum asked, when Casey walked into the kitchen after school.

  ‘What do you mean?’ asked Casey quietly, taking the school newsletter out of her bag and putting it on the bench.

  ‘You know, the kind that you make with oil in a saucepan, not in the microwave,’ her mum said, raising an eyebrow. ‘The kind you love, remember? Want some?’

  Casey shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

  She sat on one of the bar stools on the other side of the counter. There was a lever underneath the seat that made it go up and down. Casey pulled it. She went up and down, up and down.

  ‘You don’t know whether you want popcorn?’ her mum asked. She leant over the kitchen bench and put her hand on Casey’s forehead.

  ‘No fever,’ her mum joked. ‘So, what else could put my lovely daughter off popcorn?’

  Casey could tell that her mum was waiting for her to crack a smile. But Casey just didn’t feel like there was a smile inside her at the moment.

  Her mum came around and sat on the bar stool next to Casey. She slyly reached under the stool for the lever, and started going up and down. But her timing was pretty bad.

  When Casey rose up, her mum went down. When Casey went down, her mum rose up.

  Actually, it was pretty funny. Casey tried hard not to smile, but in the end, after about twenty ups and downs, she couldn’t help it.

  ‘Hey, that’s better,’ her mum said. ‘Can we please stop now? I’m getting dizzy.’

  Finally, Casey and her mum were level with each other.

  ‘What’s wrong, sweetie?’ her mum asked. This time, there was no joke in her voice. She sounded concerned.

  ‘I had a really bad day.’ Casey’s voice crumbled as she spoke. But once she’d started, everything that had happened just tumbled out of her mouth.

  She told her mum about liking Dylan.

  She told her mum about Tamsin telling everyone her secret. Then, and this was the hardest bit, she told her mum what she’d said to Tamsin about her dookie.

  Casey’s mum listened carefully.

  ‘So, now,’ Casey finished, ‘I don’t know what to do. Like, who’s right and who’s wrong?’

  Casey’s mum looked thoughtful. ‘Maybe you’re both right, and you’re both wrong,’ she said.

  It was nice, sitting next to her mum, just talking.

  ‘I was really upset when I found out that Tamsin had told the others about Dylan,’ said Casey. ‘I really just wanted it to be private. Don’t you think it was mean for her to tell?’

  ‘Did you ask Tamsin to keep it a secret?’ her mum asked.

  ‘Well, maybe not exactly,’ Casey said. ‘But it’s obvious isn’t it? Like, how am I supposed to be friends with someone I can’t even trust?’

  Casey’s mum shook her head. ‘Maybe it wasn’t obvious to Tamsin,’ she said. ‘And you did trust all those girls when things were a bit rough here at home, didn’t you? They were all pretty terrific then. Didn’t they help you a lot, Case?’

  Casey thought hard for a moment. Her mum was right. All of the Secret Sisters, Ivy, Nina, Tamsin and Casey, had taken turns helping each other.

  Casey had to admit that they were the best friends when her mum and dad were fighting a lot. In fact, Casey wondered how she ever would have got through that time without them.

  ‘I guess the thing is,’ her mum went on, ‘friends make mistakes. Even grown-up friends can make mistakes. Even parents make mistakes! Sometimes you have to try really hard to work things out.’

  Casey nodded thoughtfully. And then she had an idea. Suddenly, Casey felt a little better. Actually, she felt absolutely starving.

  ‘How about some of that old-fashioned popcorn, Mum?’ she asked with a smile.

  The next morning before school, Casey spent ages on the computer making pretty invitations. She put daisies all around the border, just like the daisies that decorated Tamsin’s peg at school.

  When she was finished, she printed out three invitations. Her heart fluttered as the pages came out of the printer.

  Aaron poked his head into the study.

  ‘What are you doing up so early?’ he asked, rubbing his eyes. ‘And what are you printing? It woke me up, dweebarama.’

  ‘Well, dweebarooma,’ Casey replied, tucking the invitations into her schoolbag, ‘I had something important to do.’

  ‘Well, dweebarooni,’ Aaron said, getting a little bag out of the pocket of his pyjamas and popping something red in his mouth, ‘it was lucky you woke me up so early. You gave me heaps of time to find your stash!’

  ‘Aaron!’ Casey exclaimed. ‘We were saving those for Nina and Ivy!’

  Aaron grinned cheekily, popping a yellow snake in his mouth.

  ‘Finders keepers!’ he teased, waving the bag around. Then he narrowed his eyes. ‘Unless,’ he said dramatically, ‘Lady Muck would like to wrestle me for the snakey prize?’

  Casey rolled her eyes, but inside she was kind of glad. Warrior Wrestling was a great way to let off steam. And, even though she felt good about her plan to solv
e the argument between her friends, part of her still felt knotted up with worry about how the meeting would go.

  Casey was already planning some good wrestling moves as she jogged out to the Warrior Wrestling trampoline.

  Aaron beat her outside and jumped up to bounce-jog on the tramp, yelling in his loud commentator voice.

  ‘Today, we have Lady Muck and Buster Strong-Heart fighting for the Red and Yellow Snakes Title,’ he bellowed, using his hand as a microphone. ‘Will Lady Muck be able to shake off last week’s sad, bad performance to take the title? Or will Buster Strong-Heart be king yet again?’

  Casey jumped up onto the trampoline, transforming herself into Lady Muck. She edged her way around the sides, doing little jumps and growling at Buster. He bounced around, punching the air with his fists.

  Buster was pretty tricky. While Lady Muck was watching Buster’s hands, Buster kicked out his leg, flipping Lady Muck behind the knees. Her legs buckled.

  ‘And Lady Muck looks set to go down!’ Buster yelled.

  But Lady Muck recovered. She steadied her feet and rose up to standing position. She held her arm out and dived behind Buster. And then Lady Muck sprung her famous headlock over his shoulder.

  ‘One, two, three – ten!’ she shouted. ‘Lady Muck is the champion wrestler of the world. Hand over the loot, Buster Weak-Heart!’

  Buster wriggled out of the headlock. Then he jumped off the trampoline and ran inside the house, giggling madly.

  ‘Aaron!’ Casey groaned. ‘I won! And those lollies are for Ivy and Nina!’

  Casey climbed off the tramp and followed her brother inside. She would have liked to dob on him, but she knew that Warrior Wrestling wasn’t exactly popular with their parents, especially first thing on a school morning. Dobbing on Aaron would be dobbing on herself.

  Casey rolled her eyes when she saw Aaron darting towards his bedroom.

  She knew that once he went in there, there was absolutely no chance of her finding the lollies. Aaron’s bedroom was like a rubbish tip!

  Never mind, thought Casey, heading into the kitchen and pouring herself a bowl of cereal. I’ve got more important things to worry about than red and yellow snakes. Like the emergency meeting at four-thirty this afternoon!

  That afternoon, Casey was pacing around her cubby house, looking at the photos on the wall. She paused in front of the one of her with Justin Bieber.

  Tamsin’s brother had cut and pasted pictures of the Secret Sisters with their very own star. If you looked closely you could tell the photos weren’t real. But Casey liked them anyway, and they made the cubby house look cool.

  Casey sighed. She wanted things to go back to the way they were before.

  School that day had been a bit better than yesterday. No-one had mentioned the argument, which was good, but also bad. Because even though the Secret Sisters had all played together with the girls from Mr Mack’s class, it was obvious that something was still wrong.

  Things weren’t totally horrible anymore, but Casey felt like she and her best friends weren’t as close as they had been before the argument. It used to feel like the four girls were linked together, like the links in a chain. Now, it felt like some of those links were about to snap.

  Casey flopped into a beanbag. She picked up one of her favourite magazines and started flipping through the pages. She caught sight of a picture of Taylor Swift, and remembered how she’d felt on Friday afternoon when Tamsin had asked if she liked her.

  Casey sighed again. Friday afternoon seemed like a long time ago now.

  Casey turned the page. In the centre spread, where staples held the magazine together, was a quiz called, What sort of friend are you?

  Casey scanned the questions quickly. Perhaps we can start the meeting by doing the friendship quiz together, she thought, feeling a little happier. This was the sort of quiz they all loved. Well, the sort of quiz we used to love …

  Casey’s thoughts were interrupted by car doors slamming in her driveway.

  Casey’s tummy lurched a little as she peeked through the cubby house window. Ivy and Tamsin had arrived together!

  It shouldn’t have been such a surprise. Ivy and Tamsin lived in the same street, so it made sense for them to share a lift. Casey just felt a bit nervous that she would be there alone with them before Nina arrived.

  ‘Hi, Tamsin! Hi, Ives!’ Casey tried to keep her voice sounding bright. But it still wobbled a little bit.

  Ivy walked through the cubby door in front of Tamsin, her arms crossed firmly.

  ‘Well?’ Ivy said.

  Tamsin stood quietly next to Ivy.

  Casey scratched her head. ‘Well, what?’

  ‘Well, you can say sorry to Tamsin now,’ Ivy said bluntly.

  Casey took a deep breath, and tried not to feel upset all over again.

  ‘Hang on,’ said Nina, suddenly appearing in the cubby house doorway. ‘How about Tamsin says sorry first, since she’s the one who did the wrong thing first?’

  Nina walked over to Casey and stood next to her.

  Casey closed her eyes. Nina and Ivy were at it all over again! This definitely wasn’t working out the way she’d planned.

  Tamsin took a sideways step, away from the protection of Ivy.

  ‘I’m sorry, Casey,’ Tamsin whispered.

  For a moment, Casey wasn’t sure whether she’d heard right over the noise of Ivy and Nina arguing. But then Tamsin continued.

  ‘Case, I honestly didn’t think … I still don’t really understand why you liking Dylan was such a big secret. But I promise I didn’t mean to betray your trust.’

  Casey smiled weakly at Tamsin, and sat down in a beanbag. Tamsin flopped next to her, and Ivy and Nina sat opposite them. This time, Ivy and Nina didn’t say anything. There was silence in the cubby house.

  Casey bit her lip. She knew now that she had to make Tamsin understand why she had been so cross. It was a hard thing to explain, though. She just had to try to find the right words.

  Casey stood up again and faced Tamsin. ‘When I told you my secret,’ she began slowly, ‘it was like giving you a little piece of myself to take care of. I just thought … well, I expected you to understand that it was private.’

  Casey paused for a moment while she thought about how to continue.

  ‘I just think friends need to be able to trust each other with this kind of stuff,’ she said eventually. ‘I felt really sad and upset when you told the others, because it felt like you weren’t looking after the piece of me that I’d given you.’

  Casey stopped again, amazed that even the talkative Ivy was still quiet. She sat back down in the beanbag next to Tamsin.

  Nina was nodding as though she understood. It definitely seemed as though everyone was really listening to what she had to say. And that felt good.

  Casey felt a little worried she couldn’t see Tamsin’s reaction, though. Tamsin was looking down at the floor.

  ‘And besides,’ Casey went on,‘I sort of freaked out that Dylan might find out. You know how when it gets out that you like someone, something changes between you? I really like Dylan as a friend. I don’t want it to get all weird, like if he knows I like him … then we might act all goofy around each other.’

  ‘Like getting all shaky when you’re dishing out bolognaise sauce,’ Ivy said with a little smile.

  ‘Or walking straight into a pole when you’re talking to someone in particular,’ Nina added.

  This time, Ivy and Nina both grinned. Ivy had whacked into a pole a week ago while she was talking to Adrian. Casey would have died of embarrassment if that had happened to her. But Ivy just thought it was funny, except for the bruise on her forehead!

  Finally, Tamsin looked up. ‘Yeah,’ she said softly. ‘That’s true, I guess. It does get a bit strange when boys know you like them. But if you’d explained how you felt, I would have kept it a secret.’ Tamsin’s shoulders drooped a little. ‘It was wrong of me to tell, though. I guess I made a mistake,’ she finished quietly.

&n
bsp; Casey bit her lip. Even though she was glad they were talking, she was worried that Tamsin still looked unhappy.

  And Casey knew deep down that there was something else she had to say to Tamsin. Because what Casey had done was way worse than making a mistake. She had deliberately tried to hurt Tamsin’s feelings.

  Casey had already forgiven Tamsin. But would Tamsin be able to forgive her?

  Casey got up out of the beanbag and walked around the cubby. It felt as though there were so many words inside her that she had to stand up to give them more space.

  ‘Tam,’ she said, ‘I, er, sometimes say things I don’t mean when I’m angry.’

  ‘That’s true,’ Ivy said. ‘Like once, she told me I was never, ever going to be her –’ ‘Everyone says things they don’t mean when they’re angry,’ Nina interrupted, giving Casey a supportive look, and Ivy a little pinch on the arm.

  ‘Yeah, but maybe I’m a bit more like that than some people,’ Casey admitted.

  Casey noticed that Tamsin’s eyebrows were raised, as though she wasn’t quite sure what Casey was going to say next.

  ‘When I said that thing about your dookie,’ Casey said, ‘I didn’t actually mean it. I think your dookie is cute, Tam. And it was really, really mean of me to talk about it like that in front of everyone.’

  Tamsin nodded, her face red. ‘It was a bit embarrassing,’ she said.

  Casey sat down next to Tamsin again. ‘I’m super, super sorry,’ she said, feeling like she might cry. She so badly wanted Tamsin to forgive her.

  Tamsin looked Casey directly in the eye. Then she grabbed her hand. ‘It’s OK,’ she said kindly. ‘Everyone makes mistakes.’

  Casey felt as though a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She smiled at Tamsin gratefully. ‘Thanks …’ she began.

  But Tamsin and Ivy and Nina weren’t looking at her anymore. They were looking over at the window.

  Casey heard a dull thud on the glass. Then she saw one red and one yellow snake, hanging down from the top of the window frame. They were held by a familiar hand.