On the Edge

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  “He said,” Jed announced, “that everything’s healing okay, but that I’m pushing myself too fast. I need,” he shot a grim look at Amy’s questioning face, “tender loving care. Rest. Good food. Someone to keep an eye on me for a few days. Someone, in short, to fuss over me. Did you by any chance phone Mullaney and prompt him?”

  “Not me. I swore off fussing at eleven this morning. I decided I lack experience and skill in that art. But I’ll admit I’m glad you had Mullaney look at the leg. I’ve got some very nice, very expensive painkiller here.” Amy walked back into the kitchen to pick up the bottle of Chardonnay. “Want some?”

  “An excellent idea. I’ll use it instead of pills this evening.” He leaned back in the chair as she poured the wine. When she returned to the living room he accepted the glass with obvious gratitude. Then he said baldly, “I figure I could take the couch tonight.”

  Amy raised her eyebrows. “You’re serious? You want to spend another night here?”

  Jed contemplated the wine in his glass. “I think Mullaney’s a little nervous about that fever I had last night. He wants me to have someone within yelling distance in case it comes back tonight.”

  Amy smiled. “What am I supposed to do for you if you yell?”

  “Feed me some pills he gave me.” Jed touched the side pocket of his slacks. “Just what I need. More pills. I’m sorry to impose, Amy. If you’d rather I didn’t stay another night, just say so. I’ll be fine on my own.”

  “I’ve already told you, you’re welcome to stay another night,” she said softly. “And you can have the bed.”

  “Couch.”

  “You won’t fit on the couch. Don’t argue with me, Jed. This is my house, remember?”

  “And you’re bossy by nature.”

  “Think you can stand another night of my nagging?”

  He grinned. “I brought some earplugs.”

  Several hours later Jed wished he hadn’t been joking about the earplugs. The scream that woke him was the kind that taught a man the meaning of cold chills down the spine.

  He rose from the bed in an instinctive movement that sent a shaft of pain through his ribs. Then he was through the bedroom door and into the living room, prepared for anything from an intruder to a manifestation of one of the creative horrors that abounded in Amy’s books.

  What he found was Amy huddled on her knees on the couch, her arms wrapped protectively around herself as she stared blindly at the red glow of the dying fire. Her fading scream was still echoing eerily in the room.

  Chapter 3

  She knew she was drowning; she also knew she couldn’t be drowning because she could still breathe. Air flowed into her lungs on command. How much more proof did she need? She longed to claw her way back to fresh air, but that was impossible. There was something important that had to be done first. So she continued to swim forward into the darkness, clutching her unwieldy burden.

  The dark walls of the watery grave closed in around her, threatening to trap her forever. The water seemed to thicken and grow opaque, defying the frail beam of her light. Evidence of an old underwater slide of gravel and mud flashed into view as she swam past the hideously black entrance of a tunnel. It would be all too easy to touch off another such slide, one that would seal the passage through which she was swimming. Then she would never get back out. She would be trapped forever with the body and the locked box.

  Trapped forever in an endless underwater labyrinth…

  Amy awoke with the scream fading on her lips, jerking to her knees in an instinctive effort to rise to the surface of the flooded cave. She fought desperately to free herself of the burden that threatened to drag her down to the depths, but she knew she couldn’t let go of the box.

  Even as her mind latched onto reality she was aware of Jed appearing in the doorway. For an instant she couldn’t speak. The effort to separate the dream from reality was too demanding. It took every ounce of her strength. But she was getting good at that part, even if she wasn’t having much success stopping the dreams themselves. The tense silence didn’t last long.

  “Amy?” His voice was rough with concern.

  “I’m sorry, Jed.” She barely heard her own voice. It was just a thin whisper of sound. She shook her head, trying to inject some energy into her words. “A bad dream. An occupational hazard of writing science fiction and fantasy.” Amy managed a weak smile as she turned to glance at him.

  He looked very large and reassuring standing there in the shadows. He hadn’t taken time to grab his cane and he was bracing himself with one large, strong hand on the doorframe. In the dim light she could see the speculative, assessing quality of his expression. There was a primitive, vibrating alertness in him that some part of her identified instinctively: Jed had appeared in the doorway ready to do battle.

  Even as she watched, Jed seemed to quietly sink back into himself. It was as though he turned a key somewhere inside that switched off the battle-ready tension. Slowly he moved toward her, walking a little awkwardly without the cane.

  “That’s quite a mouth you’ve got, lady.” As he neared the couch, the glow from the hearth briefly caught and highlighted the wry amusement in his eyes. “Must have been some dream.”

  Amy huddled on the couch, drawing her knees up under the flannel nightgown and wrapping her arms around them. “It was.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head. “No, I just want to forget it.”

  He nodded understandingly as he sat down beside her. His weight put a large dent in the cushions. “I know what you mean. Better to let that kind of thing fade. Talking about it only makes it worse, somehow. More real.”

  Maybe he was right, Amy thought fleetingly. Maybe talking about it would make it worse. She wondered how he knew that. She’d been thinking lately that talking might help, but that was probably because she knew she couldn’t talk about it. Perhaps she would just go silently crazy.

  “I’m sorry I disturbed you, Jed. Did you hurt your leg?”

  “No.” He settled one heavy arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “The leg will survive. It’s you I’m worried about. You feel like you’ve got steel wire running through you. All stiff and tense.”

  “It takes a while to come down off a nightmare.” So far it had taken eight months and she was showing no signs of improvement. The thought of living with this tension for the rest of her life was appalling. Surely it would begin to fade someday.

  “Do you have a lot of them?”

  “Nightmares?”

  “Yeah.”

  Her head came up. “I’m a restless sleeper. I’ve told you that. Me and about thirty million other Americans. I have problems with insomnia and sometimes I get these dreams. It’s no big deal. I’m sorry I alarmed you.”

  He patted her shoulder in an absently reassuring manner. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Something about the casual way he said that made Amy ask recklessly, “Why? Have you been awakened by worse?”

  He went still for an instant and then tipped up her chin so he could look directly into her eyes. “There isn’t anything worse than a woman’s scream in the middle of the night. Are you sure you’re okay, Amy?”

  She nodded uncertainly. She was vividly aware of his warmth and strength as he held her close.

  He released her chin but kept his arm around her shoulders. For a while they just sat silently on the couch. Amy’s breathing slowed to a more reasonable rate as she quietly absorbed the reassurance and comfort Jed willingly offered. When she felt the world had returned more or less to normal, she tried to ease away from him. “Thanks, Jed. I’m fine now, really I am. There’s no sense in you losing any more sleep. Go back to bed.”

  “And leave you out here alone?”

  “I’m used to being alone at night, remember?”

  “Maybe that’s part of your problem,” he murmured. He shifted, turning toward her on the couch. Sliding both palms around her throat and using his thumbs under her
jaw he carefully held her still. His fingers moved on the nape of her neck with subtle, massaging pressure.

  She saw the kindling heat in his eyes and a new kind of tension coiled within her. Amy knew his look for what it was, and she wasn’t at all sure she wanted to deal with it now. “You’re used to being alone, too,” she pointed out softly.

  “So maybe we’ve both got a problem.” He lowered his head and brushed his mouth lightly against hers as if he were testing the waters.

  Amy stiffened in spite of herself. Water was a bad mental image under the circumstances. Jed felt her immediate withdrawal.

  “Hey, calm down,” he whispered. He cradled her head in one big hand and pushed her face gently against his bare chest. “It’s just me.”

  “But I hardly know you,” she heard herself say bleakly, wondering why she had said the words aloud. They sounded silly, considering the relationship that existed between her and Jed. He wasn’t the kind of man she wanted back when she was looking for a good, gentle, kind man to love. She wanted a man who had sunlight, not shadow inside; a man who wanted a wife and a mother for his children as well as a lover. And now she had Jed, a man who was still nearly a stranger to her after three months. Six months from now he would still be a stranger. He was a man who was as silent about himself as she was about herself. Perhaps they deserved each other.

  “Hush, Amy. You know me. I’m your friend, remember? You’re still replaying the nightmare in your mind, aren’t you? Stop thinking about it. It’s the only way to handle it.” He kept her face pressed into the warmth of his chest while his other hand stroked her shoulder.

  Amy shivered slightly in nervous reaction to his touch. He was right. She had to stop thinking about it or she really would go crazy. Deliberately she made herself concentrate on the warmth emanating from Jed’s strong body.

  It wasn’t accurate to say he was a stranger because there were so many things she did know about him. His scent, for instance. She inhaled deeply. She would know this scent in her mind until her dying day. The essence of him was unique, very male, captivating and even comforting. There was honest sweat, clean soap and musky sensuality all mixed together. Amy relaxed and leaned against him.

  “Much better,” Jed said in a voice made lazy with the beginnings of desire. “Stop chasing around in circles in your head and let me hold you for a while.”

  “Your leg—”

  “Feels wonderful.”

  “Your ribs—”

  “Have never felt better.”

  Amy choked on a muffled exclamation that was almost a shaky laugh. “I’ll bet.”

  “Believe me,” he said, “I know what I’m doing.”

  He eased her down onto the tumbled sheets and blankets that Amy had used to make the couch into a bed. She looked up at him, her amusement gone as she felt the rising heat in him. He settled himself alongside her, his injured leg lightly touching her leg. There was a tautness in him now that told its own ancient story.

  “Why do you always look at me like that when you know I want to touch you?” Jed asked, letting his hand rest on the first button of her flannel gown. The gesture was unthreatening but almost excruciatingly intimate.

  “How do I look at you?” Her bewilderment was plain in her eyes. He felt very big lying next to her like this. His shoulders blocked out the sight of the coals in the hearth.

  He shrugged one broad shoulder. “I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s as if you’re a little afraid of me.”

  “I’m not afraid of you.”

  “Wary, then. Cautious. Uncertain. Hell, I don’t know. It’s just something I see in your eyes when I get too close. Hiding a lover from me? Afraid I’ll find out you’ve got something going on the side when I’m out of town?”

  “Would it bother you if I did?”

  He leaned down to nip half playfully at the curve of her throat. When he raised his head again his eyes were unreadable. “It wouldn’t be any of my business, would it?”

  “No.”

  He groaned and undid the buttons of the flannel gown. Amy drew in her breath as his hand moved under the fabric. His fingers found the tip of her breast. “It wouldn’t be any of my business, but it would drive me out of my mind.”

  “Jed?” Amy caught his face between her palms, trying to read his expression in the shadows.

  He gave her a strange half smile. “I realized that when I called you from L.A. I thought, what if she’s not alone tonight? What if she’s with someone else?”

  “Started worrying about who would pick you up at the airport?” she demanded, her nervous attempt at humor making her voice a little uneven. She was violently aware of the warmth of his palm as it rested over her small breast.

  “There’s a sadistic teasing streak in you, Amy Slater.” His hazel eyes gleamed with a fresh surge of desire as his mouth closed over hers.

  Amy felt the touch of his tongue along the edge of her lower lip. His desire was still under control. If she asked him to stop, he would undoubtedly do so. Now was the time to call a halt if she intended to keep the relationship confined to a safe, undemanding friendship.

  But his strength was already enveloping her, promising safety and excitement and perhaps a means of release for some of the lingering tension induced by the nightmare. Amy sighed and put both arms around his neck. She closed her eyes and for the first time in the three months she had known him, began to let herself respond to the driving need she sensed in Jed.

  The flame of desire she had grown accustomed to seeing in his eyes when Jed returned from a trip was burning as brightly as ever tonight. It hadn’t disappeared. It had only been held in abeyance for a while because of his injuries and the medication.

  Excitement flowed through her as her body reacted to Jed’s powerful urgency. She clung to him more tightly, grateful for the way the hot emotion pushed aside the tattered remnants of the nightmare. He used his rough, blunt fingertips to gently draw forth one nipple.

  “You may be a little cautious at first, but I think that when you give yourself, it will be completely. My God, you don’t know how much I’ve wanted to find out how completely.” With a quick, impatient movement he pulled the flannel gown down to her waist and then swept it to her ankles. It fell in a silent heap to the floor. Jed levered himself high enough off the couch to start removing his briefs. Freed of the confinement, his fully aroused male shaft jutted outward, pressing insistently against Amy’s thigh.

  He was big, Amy thought wonderingly. She should have guessed that this part of him would match the rest of him. Large, solid, blunt and powerful. She suddenly felt very small and vulnerable.

  Then she saw the small wince of discomfort that crossed Jed’s face as he shoved the underwear down over his bandaged leg, and she reached out to touch him gently. “It does hurt, doesn’t it?”

  “Not nearly as much as the part of me that needs you. I’ve been hurting for you for a long time, Amy Slater.” He pulled her back into his arms, crushing her breasts against his chest. “Christ, I’ve needed this. I don’t think I even realized just how much until tonight.”

  He ran one hand down her spine, stopping long enough at her hips to push her lower body closer to his. Amy was instantly aware of his vibrant hardness. Her leg became trapped between his muscular thighs as Jed continued to explore the full curve of her buttocks.

  “So soft and sweet and sexy,” he murmured wonderingly. “I don’t know how I waited this long.”

  Jed’s mouth moved back to Amy’s, this time deepening the kiss until she was moaning softly and opening her lips to invite him inside. His tongue slid intimately into her with a rush, and the sizzling tension in Jed was communicated to Amy. She reacted to it almost fiercely, wanting to ease the pressure that was driving him as much as she wanted to find her own release. She held him more tightly, engaging him in a tiny duel that had no winner or loser, but only served to heighten their sensual awareness of each other. He tasted good, she thought. Hot and demanding and exciting.

&
nbsp; “Amy, Amy, you don’t know what it’s been like…The words faded beneath a stifled groan as Jed slid his probing fingers into the shadowed cleft of her soft bottom.

  Amy shivered at the unfamiliar caress, automatically pulling slightly away. His hand tightened on her and she felt the hardness of him stir demandingly against her thigh. She sensed instinctively that Jed was becoming desperate for her. It was as if all the self-control he had exerted over the past three months had disintegrated, leaving him at the mercy of his own raging desire. His fingers moved lower, testing the damp warmth that was beginning to form between her legs.

  “I knew you’d respond to me.” His voice was thick with triumphant satisfaction. “I knew it. You’re getting damp and hot already.”

  “Jed,” she breathed, twisting herself against his hand as desire swept through her. She touched his shoulder, splaying her fingertips across his strong muscles, and then she felt one of his large, blunt fingers part her and sink into her. Instantly her body reacted, all the tiny muscles contracting rapidly. She closed her eyes and clung to him.

  “You’re so tight. Small and tight and strong. I’m going to lose my mind “Slowly he stroked his finger back out of her and when she cried out and pressed her face into his chest, he gave a satisfied, husky moan. Then he boldly used her own dampness to gently lubricate the tiny nub of desire that was hidden in the triangle of her soft, curling, golden brown hair.

  “I’m the one who’s going to go out of my mind,” Amy whispered.

  “Good.” He used his teeth on her earlobe.

  Amy pressed her lips to his flat male nipple, eager for the taste of him. Her lower body knotted with warmth and an aching, empty sensation. She worked her hand down between their bodies, seeking the heavy shaft that waited there. When she found it, her fingers closed around it in a gentle caress that brought a groan from somewhere deep in Jed’s chest.

  “Now, Amy. I know I’m rushing this. I should wait a little longer, give you more time. But so help me, I can’t wait. I have to have you now.”

  Jed moved then, pushing her thighs apart with his hands until she lay open and ready. Amy looked up at him as he loomed over her and she saw the volcano in his eyes. His face was set in passion-stark lines. In that moment she wanted only to grant him the release he sought.