On the Edge

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  “What if I don’t want it to air?” It was his dad’s life all over again. Put Blue in a monkey suit and roll the cameras.

  “Are you nuts? Your business will double. Maybe even triple. Shit, I knew you knew women, but this is abso-fuckin-lutely fantastic. I’ve got to go. I’ve got TLC on line one, the Discovery Channel on line two, and Oprah’s network on line three. Can you believe you might be produced by Oprah Winfrey?”

  Blue hung up and banged his forehead on the desktop. He thought he’d covered all bets. If the project aired, he’d have to convincingly bluff his way through relationship coaching. His principles demanded he do it in a way that didn’t involve accepting his father’s methods. Heaven only knew what that meant.

  He had to get a grip. Just because everyone was calling now didn’t mean that anything would see air time. An option and a contract didn’t mean shit until you were scheduled.

  His cell phone rang again.

  “You will not believe what just happened to me.” Maddy’s voice bubbled with enthusiasm. “I got a contract for a pilot!”

  “Are you dancing?” There was too much energy in her voice for her not to be. Despite teetering once more on the edge of ruin, Blue smiled. “You’re such a nerd, Maddy.” He wished she was dancing on him.

  “What’s your plan for the matchmaking? I need film on it.”

  He could imagine them filming something else entirely, which would so not help him.

  “Blue! Don’t tell me you don’t have a plan.”

  Okay, he wouldn’t tell her. He was in so deep, why enlighten her now? “I don’t have a clue where to find men.”

  “Craigslist. Facebook. Maybe you can put up a billboard like the Avengers did.”

  This project of hers was turning into something more serious than Blue was prepared to face. He’d thought she’d film her little pilot and he’d pull in some schmucks off the Santa Monica promenade. He’d thought Dave would come through with something other than him in tights. “Let’s discuss it over dinner.”

  The energy on the other end of the phone deflated. “No dinners. No drinks. Nothing after five.” She was drawing a clear line in the sand.

  “Okay, come to the office.” By the time Maddy battled her way through traffic, Gemma would have gone for the day. Cora hadn’t shown up for work since their argument. If he could just get Maddy alone…

  “I have to work tonight.”

  “More editing?”

  “No. I’m waitressing at the Beverly Hills Hotel.”

  “Mystery of how you met the Avengers solved.”

  “There are no mysteries where I’m concerned. You’re the mystery man. I’ve got to go.”

  Blue knew he shouldn’t stop by the Beverly Hills Hotel later. He knew it made him look desperate. He also knew that Maddy would find it endearing. He could use a woman who found him endearing to take the edge off and in return –

  His cell phone rang again.

  It was Senge Tenzing, speaking in his annoying Yoda-like voice. “Mr. Rule. We need to meet.” Blue was about to hang up when Senge said, “I have a business proposition for you. Can you come by before five?”

  Showing up at Wicked Tantric was like announcing to the world your sex life could be improved.

  It was only marginally better that Blue wasn’t dating anyone at the moment. His being seen entering – to the soundtrack of rapid-fire paparazzi clicks – was like saying I need to up my game.

  It was a toss-up how Lyle Lincoln would spin Blue’s appearance. Earlier in the week he’d been positioned as an orgy god.

  Hoisting Mr. J’s carrier higher on his shoulder, Blue sucked hard on his ego and walked through the front door of Senge’s sexual healing salon. It was like entering a Chinese shrine – soft golden lighting, deep brown walls with intricate tile inlays in bright blues, greens, yellows and reds, statues depicting lovers in unusual poses.

  He paused by one particularly intricate mating, imagining Maddy’s limbs wound tightly around him. At least the visit hadn’t been a total waste.

  Behind the front desk, a beautiful and beautifully stacked Asian woman smiled in welcome. “May I help you?”

  The old Blue would have been quite slick about approaching just how she could help him. The new, more Maddy-enlightened Blue, announced his appointment with Senge.

  “Upstairs.”

  On the second floor, the aroma of incense was more prominent. Music played softly. A class was in session – women doing naked yoga. Senge sat on a dais calling out poses like a bingo announcer calls out numbers. It was no big deal to Senge that Alyssa Atherton, the latest Bond girl, was doing a bare-skinned warrior pose, or that the woman next to her looked like a nude candidate for the Biggest Loser. The confidence in their stances made them both beautiful. To Blue, the scene was jaw-dropping. To Senge, this was probably just another day at the office.

  Senge rose smoothly from his cross-legged sitting position and glided across the room in his orange and white swami outfit, and bare feet. He indicated Blue should follow him into a side room filled with overstuffed pillows on the floor, but no real furniture.

  Senge sat cross-legged on a pillow and indicated Blue should do the same.

  Blue tried, but his legs didn’t fit that way. He hooked his elbows on his knees instead.

  Mr. Jiggles stared at him through the mesh, growling softly before plopping down for a short nap.

  Senge’s smile was simultaneously repugnant and compelling. “Let me say that your chakras are much more relaxed. Your sex life must be progressing positively.”

  Not hardly.

  Although he wasn’t about to engage in a conversation with Senge about his sex life, he couldn’t still his thoughts of Maddy – her legs wrapped around him in the statue-inspired pose he’d seen below.

  Senge smiled a knowing smile, an I-am-at-peace-with-your-fantasies smile.

  The willies – that full-body shiver of repugnance – threatened Blue’s composure.

  “Whoever this woman is, you must strive to keep this one. Erotic energy is life energy, but only when expended with a partner who is worthy. This one you are having intercourse with will help you connect to your heart, integrate your body, your soul, and the divine. You will achieve true happiness.”

  “That sounds like a fortune cookie.”

  “It is something to strive for – a mutual pleasure that goes beyond the bedroom.”

  Blue doubted that existed. He cleared his throat. “About the business opportunity…”

  “You doubt my proposition will be worthy of the Dooley Foundation.” Senge giggled. “Do you know how many people are alone by choice or circumstance? Theirs is a sad state of affairs – much like yours has been prior to this woman in your life. People who repress their erotic energy repress other things. A release – such as a Freedom Transformation – reconnects the spirit with what’s important, the sense of worth is revitalized. How can this not be a good thing?”

  “Your proposition?”

  “I am getting there. Some see what I do as pornographic.” He spread his scrawny arms. “They don’t see this as a place of love and joy.”

  It was a place to sit and stare at naked women – whether beautiful within or beautiful without.

  “I want to open a Wicked Tantric branch in New York.” Senge smiled, inviting him to share a smile, too. “As well as Chicago, Atlanta, and Dallas. But to expand I need two things – another expert in aligning chakras, and respectability.”

  “I’m not sure what respect the Foundation will bring you. Besides, Amber is out of town. I can’t make this decision without her.”

  “I want not only the Foundation’s respectability, but your expertise. Not everyone can talk a woman into achieving fulfillment without personal touch.” Senge flexed his fingers as if they’d been busy giving personal paid fulfillment.

  All those naked women…

  Blue scrambled his short-term memory. Had he shaken Senge’s hand upon arrival? He thought not. Just in case, he
rubbed his right hand on his thigh.

  “I’m not going to put on your MC Hammer pants and spend all day giving women orgasms.” The only woman he was interested in giving an orgasm to was Maddy. The more time he spent with her, the more his desire for her became clear. He didn’t dwell on the why. That wasn’t his way.

  “We don’t always know the path to success when we step outside the door. We only know that we crave success. I will give you half my billings if you partner with me. In six months, you could earn more than a million dollars. Quite a profit for the Dooley Foundation.”

  Blue rocketed to his feet. “I won’t be a gigolo! I refuse to sit in your studio and get paid to have women touch themselves.” Forget that he’d meet his sales quota. He was barely over the trauma of bringing four women to climax at one time.

  “You won’t need to sit in my studio. This is Hollywood. Pools and spas are everywhere.” Senge smiled. “What have you got to lose?”

  Blue clenched his fists. “Only my reputation, my pride, and my moral compass.”

  Senge’s laughter followed him out the door.

  Chapter 21

  “What are you doing here?” Maddy demanded. Her cheeks flared with color, the same way they did when she got excited – about filming, about him. “It’s after five.”

  Blue couldn’t help himself. He drank her in like a smooth red wine. Her legs were sleekly curved beneath her short skirt, but the plain black flats were obviously too cheap to provide her any cushioning. Shoes like that created feet that needed a rub down. Blue stroked his gaze up her body as leisurely as the beat of the love song piped in the background. “Is that any way to greet your reality star?”

  That stopped her. She put a paper napkin on the table in front of him. “What are you drinking tonight?”

  “I’ll have whatever beer’s on tap.” He double-checked that Mr. J’s carrier wouldn’t tip over before returning his attention to her.

  She was looking away. “Why not ask me what kind of beer I like?”

  “You must feel very threatened if you’re bringing that up,” he said carefully, gauging her mood.

  “I’m not threatened. I’m onto you and your seductive ways.” Maddy fidgeted. “Look, I like you, but I want this chance with Ivan so bad and I have a history of choosing men who…get me off track.”

  “So you have been thinking about us.” Tension that had been banded around his chest – tension he hadn’t realized he’d been carrying – loosened. A smile began a slow creep across his face.

  Her hip popped out. She propped a fist on it. “I can’t be with a man I don’t trust. You went behind my back with Dave – ”

  “And got egg on my face. That won’t happen again.”

  She stared at him so long he almost admitted her pitch meeting had been a set-up. Almost.

  She tossed her hands. “Frankly, you don’t know what you want out of life or a relationship. I don’t want to be your temporary good time.”

  The mistakes of Blue’s past filled his ears with a buzzing noise that drowned out the bar’s music, the voices, everything but Maddy. No woman had ever turned him down before. His sexual history and notoriety were always a plus in Hollywood. “I know what I want. Honest. It’s you.”

  Her cheeks flared again. “Exactly what I wanted to hear. So predictable.” She spun away.

  He scrambled, like he’d never had to scramble before. “Maddy, wait.”

  She looked over her shoulder.

  “As to what I want…I’m going to figure out how to be a good life coach. I may not the best at it now and I may not be one forever, but…well…for now, it challenges me.” How odd to feel the statement ring true, despite the compromises he’d have to make.

  She hesitated.

  “And...” He swallowed, hesitating over words he’d never said to a woman. “I’ll wait for you…to trust me.” Heaven willing, he wouldn’t have to wait long.

  She huffed, but didn’t turn her back on him.

  “But while I wait, can you bring me a Corona? It’s my beer of choice.”

  “So cliché.” She rolled her eyes and headed toward the bar. He enjoyed watching her move, her short hair and curvy hips swayed in an invitation she had yet to acknowledge. She wouldn’t make him wait long.

  Things were looking up. He’d picked up the Aston Martin this morning and it didn’t smell like lake water or goose shit. His billings were on the rise. And, despite the fact that a few months of role playing for Senge would’ve satisfied the conditions of his father’s will, Blue was proud he’d refused. He might end up as a life coach, but he wouldn’t prostitute himself.

  The crowd in the bar was bent with age and garnished with silver hair.

  “Is there a retirement home nearby?” Blue asked when Maddy returned with his bottle of Corona and a lime resting on the rim of a frosty mug.

  She shook her head. “The crowd changes based on what’s happening at the hotel. Big movie premier down the street and we get some of the cast and their assistants. They drink a lot. They’re loud, but they’re usually happy. Conventions on this side of town and we get the salesmen, sometimes sleezy, sometimes happy to have anyone to talk to.” She shrugged. “It just all depends.”

  “And the crowd this evening?”

  “Classic film festival.” She leaned over, her white button down gaping open enough to catch his eye. “See that couple over there? They’ve been in the casts of some fantastic movies. They told me about cafeteria lunches with Michael Douglas, cocktails with Elvis Presley, cigarette breaks with Steve McQueen.” She sighed.

  “You were born to be a filmmaker.” Maddy collected stories even when she didn’t have a camera. He couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t stay away from your other tables on my account. I don’t want you to get into trouble.” At least, not at work.

  She left him, frowning. He watched her make her rounds. Unlike other Hollywood dreamers working service jobs until their big break, she worked hard and was nice to everyone.

  “What time do you get done?” Blue asked when she stopped to drop off a small bowl of pistachios.

  “Why?”

  “I thought you wanted to help me choose some bachelors.”

  She tapped her watch. “It’s after five.”

  “What? You need a chaperone to work with me?”

  “After five? After last night? Yes.”

  He leaned toward her and dropped his voice to a whisper. “Right now I want to drag you into the elevator, press the stop button, and find out how quickly we can prove Senge wrong.”

  Her breath caught. And then she patted his shoulder in that platonic way of hers that she used when he breached her other defenses. “Wow. It’s like you’re a little kid with new powers and you don’t know how to use them yet. What happened to waiting until I trust you?”

  It was his turn to shrug. “I’m impatient. I want to pour champagne over your body and lick it out of your crevices.”

  Maddy glanced around to make sure no one heard him. “Are you insane?”

  Blue took a sip of his beer as he regarded Maddy. “You make me think about the choices I’ve made and the choices that are ahead of me, Maddy. And that makes me insane. I may not be able to do love or long-term. But I care about you and I’d be honored to be your friend and bed-buddy until you get tired of me.” That was the most commitment he’d given a woman. Ever.

  Her eyes had darkened. Her cheeks tinged pink.

  “Say something.” He was having trouble keeping his cool. He wanted her so bad, he ached with the need to hold her. “This is the first time I’ve been upfront with a woman. Tell me you don’t think we could prove Senge wrong. It doesn’t have to be tonight.” God, let it be tonight. “Just tell me you feel something, too.”

  “I’m this close to achieving the dream I’ve had since I was seven.” It wasn’t a refusal. Her gaze was distant, as if she was looking at him, but calculating the risks of letting go.

  He captured Maddy’s wrist, encircled it within his h
and. Her skin was warm and soft. “I don’t care what rules you make or what Senge says. The point is, we like each other. We can build trust from there.” He stroked her forearm.

  She stood, frozen.

  Someone behind the bar called her name.

  “Yeah,” she said weakly.

  “You okay?” The bartender glared at Blue.

  “Yeah.” Maddy didn’t break Blue’s stare. “Shit. I think I just came in my panties.”

  “I can make it so much better with your panties off.” Blue stroked her forearm once more. “If you’ll trust me.”

  Maddy stepped slowly away, drawing his hand across her skin again. “I get off at midnight.”

  If Blue had his way, she’d be getting off every hour after that. “I’ll be outside with the engine running.”

  This is crazy.

  Blue was out of her league. He messed with her mind just by breathing. Was she really going to sleep with him?

  Maddy texted Vera that she wouldn’t be home that night. Hopefully Vera wouldn’t get the text until the morning, when Maddy was going to allow her plenty of opportunity for I told you so’s.

  This is crazy.

  So she was going to have sex with one of the sexiest men in southern California. No big deal. Lots of people nowadays had friends with benefits.

  But what happens when you have to work together?

  Maddy wanted to shut her filter off. “Paul, give me a shot of tequila.”

  Paul frowned. “You’re not the tequila type, Maddy.”

  “I am tonight.” She meant to take full advantage of Blue giving her exactly what she wanted. She didn’t trust him not to throw a wrench in her reality show plans. She didn’t trust him when it came to committing to a relationship. But what did it matter if she came into this with her eyes wide open? One night. That’s all it was.

  Maddy grabbed a shot glass and flipped it onto the bar. “Hit me.”

  “Girl, I hope he’s worth it.”

  Me, too.

  The tequila burned all the way down. “You could have at least poured me some top shelf tequila.”