She Was a Pretty Girl: A spy story

by S G Read

  ‘I know you endorsed her entry to SI 8 John, so this is really your pigeon anyway.’ John replied. ‘The problem is that when Marion did the postmortem, she found what is colloquially ‘meat and two veg.’

  ‘No.’ John said in surprise. ‘Well it can’t be Clementine then!’

  ‘You can guarantee that, can you?’ Winfield asked.

  ‘I can Winfield, as can you.’

  ‘What do you mean John?’ Winfield asked

  ‘Clementine clinched her promotion in one way and one way only and it was not by hard work, although she was hard work for someone of my years.’ John answered.

  ‘Then it isn’t Clementine.’ Winfield replied, not answering the earlier accusation.

  ‘As you well knew when you came in. So what can I do for you Winfield?’

  ‘I want you to find out who it is and what they were doing impersonating Clementine of course!’ Winfield answered.

  ‘Cart blanche?’

  ‘As near as John.’

  ‘That means no then.’ John concluded.

  ‘This is national security we are talking about, I will send you all the papers on the case.’ Winfield replied.

  ‘After they have been censored?’ John asked but he already knew the answer.

  Winfield did not answer, he just walked out. He opened the door and left it open so that John could hear what he said.

  ‘Did you get all that Lorna?’ He asked as he walked by.

  ‘Almost all of it Alexander,’ Lorna answered, ‘but I am sure John will fill me in on what I missed.’

  She always called him Alexander, it was his first name and he hated it! Winfield did not answer but merely walked out slamming the door behind him. Lorna walked into John’s office.

  ‘So we have another job where Winfield will tell us nothing and we have to still find the answer.’ She complained.

  ‘Ten words per sheet?’ John asked.

  ‘I’ll say eight. Ten pounds?’

  ‘Ten pounds it is.’ John answered.

  ‘What is first on the menu then?’ Lorna asked.

  ‘I think I will go and get acquainted with the man who was impersonating Clementine.’ John answered.

  ‘Are you sure you weren’t looking at the back of her head when you made love?’ Lorna asked.

  ‘I was looking into her eyes during both sessions and no she was not a contortionist!’ John confirmed and walked down to Marion’s domain.

  ‘Hello John, I haven’t seen you in a while.’ Marion complained when John walked in.

  ‘We haven’t had any really interesting cases in a while Marion.’ John answered.

  ‘This one is a doozy.’ Marion exclaimed.

  ‘So I hear Marion. Can I see her, I mean him?’

  ‘He is in the long term cooler, as I don’t see you cracking this one very quickly, with what Winfield will give you by means of information.

  ‘It will be another hands tied and blindfolded investigation but I will make sure Winfield doesn’t get there before me this time.’ John answered.

  ‘And how are you going to do that John? I hear he even bugs the toilets so that you cannot go there to talk in private.’ Marion asked.

  ‘I will find a way Marion, just as we were able to read all the documents he sent down last time even though most of them were blacked out.’ John answered as Marion slid the body out of the storage compartment.

  John examined the body very carefully and very thoroughly, noting things down in his little notebook for later reading.

  ‘I will need all your results as usual. All the tests you have carried out and the tests I am authorizing now. These will not go through Winfield but you can send him copies if you like.’ He added when he had finished.

  ‘How are you going to find out who it is? We have already tried his finger prints and his DNA, both came back as negative.’ Marion asked.

  ‘I assumed as much. Winfield doesn’t come to me unless he really has to and to have someone masquerading as one of his agents, which means they have access to the weapons and safe houses, must be worrying for him.’

  ‘Especially for someone who likes to think he is in charge.’ Marion replied.

  ‘He does overdo the control thing a bit Marion, so he probably heard that.’

  ‘Now that would surprise me as I had this place swept and cleared of his bugs.’

  ‘I would do it again but this time, do it personally.’

  ‘Thanks for the advice John.’ Marion replied as john walked to the door. ‘That is if I don’t get the sack for undermining her Hitler upstairs.’

  ‘Not likely. You are too good at your job and know a lot of his dirty secrets.’ John retorted. ‘More likely to be put on Clementine’s hit list.’

  ‘Now that I could believe.’ Marion exclaimed as John went out.

  Back in his office Lorna was waiting for him.

  ‘The papers almost arrived, the man walked in with the box but received a message and took them away again. What was that all about?’

  ‘Just being a slippery son of a bitch and testing to see if the mortuary was bugged.’ John explained.

  ‘Don’t tell me you used that old chestnut about being able to read the blacked out words?’

  ‘Something on that lines.’

  ‘And he fell for it! It makes me a little concerned over the running of this country.’ Lorna exclaimed. ‘The next thing will be Clementine turning up on my doorstep!’

  ‘She could turn up on mine as long as she would be willing to bonk me to death.’ John admitted.

  ‘Men!’ Lorna complained and walked back into her office.

  It was an hour before the paperwork returned and they opened it with interest. Because of his remarks the person blacking the words out had used extra ink to cover the blanked out words and more words had been covered, costing John ten pounds.

  ‘I take it I can leave you to decipher the blanked out words.’ John asked nonchalantly.

  ‘I will do my best.’ Lorna answered but instead of putting the papers back into the box she slipped in old sheets, sheets that Winfield’s office had sent down previously.

  The latest sheets went into her handbag for deciphering at home. She had good word recognition software at home which would fill in the blanks or at least some of them. It had worked last time and they had been able to get on in the case quicker than finding out the same information some other way.

  ‘I think some Mozart is called for tonight.’ John observed.

  ‘I will stick to my Deep Purple I think.’ Lorna replied. ‘That soft quiet music is to namby pamby for me.’

  ‘I would hardly call Mozart namby pamby Lorna. I will admit that some is soft and quiet but he has written exciting music.’ John retorted. ‘You will have to come over and listen to some Mozart sometime.’

  ‘And just how would the office interpret that?’ Lorna asked.

  ‘The usual way I suspect. Love is in the air, in the office again.’ John answered. ‘Now that I am divorced it hardly matters to me but it might hurt you.’

  ‘It might change the story going round at the moment, when they could not marry us off they decided I must be a lesbian as you had been married before and the news that you had bedded Clementine hit the headlines. A lot of the junior staff would have swopped places in bed with you at the drop of a hat.’ Lorna declared.

  ‘Maybe we should have a fling just to give them something juicy to talk about!’ John declared.

  ‘Maybe.’ Lorna answered but did not expand.

  ‘Well I will write up what I know about the body in the mortuary and then, as there is nothing much more I can do, I will go home.’ John informed her and anyone else listening.

  ‘I will start on these papers and then type up the notes on the body before I go home.’ Lorna replied.

  John used his notebook to make notes by the notes he had made pertaining to the body then left the notebook with Lorna to make some sense out of, then he went home. He cooked a meal and ate it with a
bottle of claret. Then he locked up and turned of the lights in the house and walked down to his shed at the bottom of the garden. It was a large wooden shed with extra insulation in the walls so that he could play his music as loud as he wanted to, without annoying the neighbours. There had been complaints previously.

  He walked in and bolted the door using the top and bottom bolts. There were no other doors in the shed which made him in there for the night to anyone who was listening in.

  They had eavesdropped on the office conversations and now had heard him cook his food, uncork his wine and eat his meal. Now they readied to turn the volume down when the music started.

  John turned on the music, using a looped tape which was designed to last twelve hours. As soon as it started he walked to the rear of the shed and waited for the loud part which came early in the loop. As soon as the sound rose to a deafening level he dropped the lower rear part of the shed into the ground and ducked through, closing it as soon as he was through. He used the two metal rods to secure the wall where it should be and put on his bicycle helmet. The bicycle was under a sheet between the rear wall of the shed and the wooden fence with no way round for anyone to get there and see it. He wheeled the bicycle forward, lifted it round to face the other way and lifted the fence panel off the two hooks which secured it. He opened the fence far enough to get the bicycle through and closed it again. He made sure to lift the fence back on to its hooks which were so designed to let the lugs drop in and then slide down pulling the fence tightly in place so that from the outside it looked no different.

  With the fence back in place and his helmet on, he rode away. Choosing to go by a route which did not take him past the car that had the agents in, who were listening to his Mozart. It was a fairly flat ride which he was grateful for and stopped outside a similar fence to the one he had just exited. He opened the fence the same way and parked the bicycle next to the other bicycle there and closed the fence after him. He knocked on the back of the shed in front of him and it opened to reveal Lorna.

  This was the meeting place even Winfield did not know about. It was Lorna’s aunt’s house and when she had emigrated but had decided not to sell the property, in case she wanted to come back, she had charged Lorna with its upkeep. Said upkeep had included the shed in the back garden paid for by her aunt’s account but surreptitiously repaid by Lorna to make sure it was not noticed. John pulled up the rear of the shed after covering his bike before he spoke.

  ‘So how do we find out about Clementine’s movements, or should I say supposed movements?’ He asked.

  ‘Well I will sort out these papers to see if they will help and then go through the back door again and have all the expenses receipts sent to me. You will have to tell him you are dropping the case before I can do that though.’

  ‘All I need is an excuse.’ John answered.

  While he read through his note as typed up by Lorna, he made extra notes on the sheets to be added in. He was not the tidiest of writers but Lorna had learned to decipher his writing some time ago.

  At the same time Lorna was using her own modified word recognition programme to add words to the sheet she was deciphering. An added word led to more added words until she could try making up sentences. It was not a fast method but she had had success last time and it had helped.

  In between rereading his note and adding to them, he either watched Lorna work or took her a drink to keep her going as she worked. It took her most of the night but she suddenly cried out in frustration.

  ‘That lowdown son of a bitch. This is a report about clementines, the fruit and nothing to do with this case!’ She declared.

  ‘Well there is your excuse but he will know we can work out what is under his blacking out Lorna. So he will either let me read what I want or make me work without it. So tomorrow I will throw them back in his face and let him know in no uncertain terms that I will not investigate with my hands tied and my eyes blindfolded.’ John replied.

  ‘You could still do it though.’ Lorna pointed out.

  ‘I probably could and I probably will have to but you will have your excuse to find out about misrepresented petty cash vouchers. I believe we do have a case like that to investigate.’

  ‘We do and Yes, I will run both investigations together.' She added.

  ‘I didn’t think you wouldn’t old girl.’

  ‘Less of the old, I can give you ten years without any trouble.’ Lorna declared.

  ‘Just a figure of speech old girl, I am getting in practice for the banquet which is coming up.’ John said apologizing. ‘I say, would you like to come to the banquet with me that should start tongues wagging.’

  ‘Oh God, just what I need, the mayor’s bloody banquet.’ Lorna complained. ‘Still in a good cause and I can lord it over the idiots who sent me these files, thinking that I would not be able to work out what they were about.’

  ‘I will pick you up at seven thirty that should give you enough time to gloat.’

  ‘It also means Winfield will be trying to woo me away to work for him again!’ Lorna complained.

  ‘You can’t have it both ways old girl, you are either brilliant and wanted or no one would want you. Apart from me that is.’

  ‘It is a good job you added that bit.’ Lorna warned.

  They both left when they could do no more and rode to their respective homes. Lorna walked in and merely turned off the music before walking up to her house and going to bed. John rode to his house and stopped to actually listen to his music and promptly fell asleep. It was not until the same loud piece of music started that he woke and realized that he had been right round the loop.

  ‘No not that one John, you have already heard that one.’ He said out loud. ‘Time for bed I think.’

  ‘Who is he kidding?’ The man in the car outside retorted. “I bet he hasn’t heard much music tonight and he doesn’t need any more sleep.’

  Chapter 2

  The following day Lorna carried on doing her usual tasks and investigating Clementine’s double, where she could until John arrived.

  ‘I am calling off the investigation into the man in the mortuary Lorna, is there any other jobs waiting old girl.’ John announced as soon as he walked in.

  Lorna gave him a sharp look before she answered.

  ‘There is that petty cash fraud we are looking in to.’ She answered after John was suitable cowed.

  ‘Start that one then while I go and see Winfield.’ John ordered to allow Lorna to get her hands on all the petty cash stubs and the receipts that went with them.

  Winfield heard every word but could not say anything or John would know he was being overheard. He sat in his office to await John’s arrival but after half an hour his impatience ran out. He walked to the door of his office and put his hand on the door handle but did not open it. What could he say to them that would not let them in on the fact that their offices were bugged? He turned and walked back to his chair. He was not a happy man and he remained that way until John turned up, just after his extended lunch. For once Winfield had eaten a quick lunch to go back in case John came while he was out to lunch, something John had considered but decided against as it would give Winfield a reason to contact him.

  ‘Did you want me John?’ Winfield asked nonchalantly.

  ‘Yes, these fruit reports you sent us are a slap in the face and you can sort out your own dirty linen unless I get the proper reports without censorship!’ John answered and threw the papers onto Winfield’s desk.

  ‘I was unaware that the wrong papers were sent to you but I am a bit worried that you took it upon yourself to read words which were blanked out for security reasons Fairchild.’

  ‘Since when was the amount of fruit being grown in Florida a national secret Winfield?’ John asked.

  ‘That is hardly the point Fairchild.’

  ‘I will look into your case when I have all the papers without censorship in my hands. Until then I will clear up one or two other cases.’ John declared.

&
nbsp; ‘You will do it without any papers, as you have proved yourself unable to keep national secrets.’ Winfield retorted.

  ‘It will be done my way or I will go over your head Winfield.’ John declared.

  ‘There is no over my head Fairchild as you well know!’ Winfield replied.

  ‘I am sure the prime minister will be surprised to hear that Winfield!’ John exclaimed and walked out.

  ‘You wouldn’t dare.’ Winfield called after him.

  ‘Try me.’ John threw back and then he was gone.

  John walked back to his office and slammed the door causing those listening to pull the earphones away from their ears.

  ‘Not so good then?’ Lorna asked over the intercom.

  ‘Just get on with those petty cash frauds Lorna.’ John replied shortly.

  For the rest of the day there was very little talking in the office as Lorna was sorting through petty cash vouchers and receipts from shops restaurants and airlines. She was cataloguing them in alphabetical order but not looking at them for fraud, she just wanted to know who applied for the payment. When she went home she had a pile of receipts in her bag, just as John had another pile in his briefcase.

  They repeated the same routine, first cook something to eat and then go into their shed to listen to their brand of music. Thus they arrived at Lorna’s aunt’s house later in the evening and tipped out the receipts.

  ‘These are Clementine’s and the rest are unsorted.’ Lorna said pointing to each pile in turn.

  ‘So what is first?’ John asked.

  ‘Let us sort through the unsorted ones and find all of Clementines, that way we will be able to work out her travel itinerary for the past five years.’ Lorna answered.

  ‘That many receipts?’

  ‘I believe in being thorough.’ Lorna pointed out.

  ‘That is why I love you.’ John declared, well most times.

  ‘The sooner we start, the sooner we finish.’ Lorna declared.

  They started. They put the receipts into alphabetical order as they read them and piled up so that each pile was from only one claimant. The receipts which did not have anything to do with Clementine were placed into their own boxes for sorting later when they did actually start on the case they were supposed to be investigating. In the end they had a pile of vouchers and receipts that Clementine had either sent it as proof of payment or credit card slips sent in by the vendors. It painted a picture as to where Clementine had been and therefore where she might have carried out a contract.